by Laura Martin
‘No,’ Caroline whispered as she saw the group approaching.
‘They haven’t seen anything.’
‘Of course they have. We’re standing here with me in your arms.’
James searched the faces of the approaching group—they looked concerned rather than angry or scandalised and he considered the view he and Caroline presented.
‘They think I’m carrying you home,’ he muttered.
‘You are.’
‘But they don’t know why.’
Hers eyes widened as if she couldn’t quite believe that could be true.
‘Play along.’
Just as Milton arrived in front of them James hesitated. Perhaps it would be better if they did suspect something.
‘Miss Yaxley, are you hurt?’ Milton’s eyes flicked over her.
‘She fell,’ James said, a little too abruptly. The concern in Milton’s eyes reminded him he wasn’t the only man to care for Caroline.
‘What happened?’ her mother asked as she hurried up.
In his arms Caroline rallied, giving a theatrical little grimace. ‘It’s embarrassing, really. I overturned my ankle stepping on a stone. Even though I had the Duke’s arm I was so unbalanced I fell to the ground. Now when I try to walk on it a pain shoots up my leg.’
‘Good job Heydon was here to pick you up,’ Milton murmured. James saw the other man eyeing her un-scuffed boots where they were peeking out from under her dress.
‘I can probably manage it back to the house,’ Caroline said, starting to wriggle in his arms.
‘You wouldn’t want to do any more damage.’ Milton stepped closer, his hand coming up and resting on the tip of her boot. ‘Which foot was it?’
She hesitated for only a moment. ‘The left.’
‘I’m sure Heydon can carry you halfway back and I can manage the rest. It would be prudent not to walk on it at least until you’ve taken your boot off and inspected the damage.’
‘Exactly what I was telling her,’ James said. He began walking, marvelling how a woman as slight as Caroline could make his arms feel like lead after even just a few hundred feet.
‘Stop wriggling,’ he murmured so only she could hear. ‘It’s like carrying a bag of snakes.’
‘It’s not exactly comfortable or elegant up here.’
‘Stop complaining, I’m your knight, your rescuer, remember.’
She rolled her eyes at him and proceeded to wriggle even more.
‘I can take Miss Yaxley whenever you get tired, Heydon,’ Milton said, keeping step with him.
James had the irrational urge to dismiss the other man’s offer of help. It didn’t feel right to hand her over, not when he was the one who’d got them into this predicament.
‘She’s not too heavy.’
Milton suppressed a laugh and Caroline reached up and whacked James on the shoulder.
Up ahead he could see the house and he almost shouted out with relief. He might not want to hand her over, but he would be pleased to deposit her in a comfortable armchair and shake his arms out until the burn in his muscles subsided.
Once they were inside, Mrs Wellington ushered them through to the drawing room and with a groan much louder than he’d meant it to be he lowered Caroline into an armchair.
‘Thank you,’ she said softly, looking up at him. For a moment it was as if everyone else had faded into the background. Gone was the anxious bustling of Mrs Wellington and the gruff tones of Milton asking if Caroline was in pain. Only he and Caroline remained, their eyes locked together, their bodies yearning for the closeness they’d just shared.
‘Right, we need to have a look at this foot.’
He stepped back as Lady Yaxley took over, organising for a cool cloth to be brought to wrap around the ankle and carefully removing Caroline’s boot. Caroline played her part well, stoically biting her lip as the ankle was prodded and poked, whimpering in pain with various movements.
‘Just a sprain, my darling,’ Lady Yaxley said eventually. ‘You’ll heal in no time.’
‘Luckily it doesn’t seemed to have swelled,’ Milton observed from his position by the fireplace.
‘I’ll fetch you a cane, my dear, we have a few from when my mother-in-law lived here with us. It’ll help you to get around for the next few days.’ Mrs Wellington left to instruct one of the maids to find a cane, her cheeks still flushed from the brisk walk back.
Caroline smiled weakly, sipping the cup of tea that had been placed in her hands a couple of minutes ago.
‘Lord Hauxton, perhaps you would be so kind as to help me fetch a couple of pillows from upstairs,’ Caroline’s mother said, taking his arm and guiding him gently towards the door. ‘Caroline looks a little uncomfortable and I think the softness of a pillow will help her more than a firm cushion.’
‘Of course.’
For a moment after they left James didn’t move, observing Caroline’s pained face from his position a few feet away. Even when they were alone her expression didn’t change and he realised it was emotional torment that was causing her to frown, not the charade of her twisted ankle.
‘They’re suspicious.’ Caroline watched the door as if expecting someone to leap through it at any second. ‘At least Mother and Lord Hauxton are.’
‘Perhaps it would be for the best?’
‘For the best?’ He could hear the suppressed anger in her voice. ‘You think ruining me would be for the best?’
Aware he had only a couple of minutes at most before Milton and Lady Yaxley reappeared, he crouched down next to her, resting his hand so his fingers were brushing hers. At first she wouldn’t look at him, instead staring intently at the fire flickering in the grate, but as he moved his fingertips against her he saw her relent and look up at him.
‘Our lives are entwined, Cara—would it truly be terrible if everyone were to know that?’
She didn’t answer and he had an overwhelming urge to kiss her again, but knew right now he had to hold back. He couldn’t coerce her into accepting his marriage proposal and he wouldn’t kiss her senseless until someone found them and they were forced to marry to avoid the scandal. He cared far too much for her to do anything like that.
Outside they heard footsteps and James quickly stood, taking a couple of steps so he was back by the fireplace before Lady Yaxley and Milton re-entered the room, carrying an armful of pillows each. To the casual observer it wouldn’t look as though he’d moved at all.
‘Let’s get you comfortable,’ Lady Yaxley said, fussing around her daughter, tucking pillows in about her leg to better support her ankle. ‘It’s a shame you won’t be able to dance tonight, but at least there is plenty of good company to keep you merry.’
James waited for another minute before taking his leave, pressing a kiss on to Caroline’s hand and wishing her a comfortable few hours. He hoped she might spend them weighing up her options and deciding he was the one she wanted to be with.
Chapter Nineteen
Sitting in the corner of the room, her cane leaning against the side of the chair, Caroline observed the other guests gathered in little groups, talking and laughing. She should feel miserable and excluded, confined to her chair for a non-existent injury, but it was quite liberating just being able to sit and watch without being expected to take part. Everyone thought she should be miserable, her foot paining her and unable to join in the festivities, but instead she felt quite content to be left alone with her thoughts.
She had a lot to think about, not that her mind would let her think of anything except the kiss she and James had shared that morning. The inevitable kiss as she thought of it. It had been brewing for a long time, ever since they’d last kissed on the Heath, but now she was left even more confused than before.
James had talked about desire and she knew there was a fierce attraction between them, but he had never talked about
love. He cared for her, desired her, but he’d never told her that he loved her.
It shouldn’t matter, she’d decided she would marry for reasons other than love at the start of the Season, so it shouldn’t matter if James didn’t love her, but somehow it did. She loved him so fiercely, so intensely, that she couldn’t imagine being with him and him only feeling a mild affection for her. That would be all that was left after the desire wore off.
‘You’re looking rather serious,’ James said as he came and sat down beside her. He’d been socialising all evening, but she had felt the surreptitious glances in her direction and known he was biding his time until he could come and sit with her without drawing too much attention to himself.
‘My ankle,’ she said with a grimace, ‘So painful.’
‘You are a talented liar, Cara, it scares me a little how good you are. It makes me wonder what other fibs you’ve told me over the years.’
If only you knew.
It was imperative James never knew how long she’d loved him for, how their friendship had always been covering her true feelings for the man beside her.
‘I think Lord Hauxton suspected something was amiss.’
‘Milton’s a sharp man.’
‘He hasn’t said anything, I could just see how he was looking at my ankle and how he watched me earlier as I entered the room, leaning on the cane.’
‘I should say I’m sorry for throwing up obstacles to your courtship,’ James said, then smiled, ‘but if I’m being completely honest, then I’m not sorry at all.’ He caught her eye and Caroline found it very hard not to smile along with him. ‘What I will apologise for is keeping you from dancing tomorrow at the masquerade ball.’
‘I was looking forward to it.’
‘Perhaps your foot could make a miraculous recovery.’
‘A sprain? Recovered in a day? No one would believe that.’
‘No,’ he murmured. ‘Although it will be a masquerade. We might be able to slip away...’
‘Caroline darling, you look a little pale, are you in pain?’ Caroline’s mother bustled over and took the seat on her other side. ‘Doesn’t she look pale, Your Grace?’
James studied her for longer than was absolutely necessary. ‘She does. Perhaps you would like me to carry you up to your room?’
Caroline’s eyes widened as she remembered how he’d first swept her into his arms earlier that morning, before all the deception about a sprained ankle, when it was just the two of them and their desire for one another.
‘I’m perfectly capable of hobbling upstairs myself, thank you very much.’
‘You don’t want to cause any more damage,’ Lady Yaxley said. ‘You should consider the Duke’s kind offer.’
She stood quickly, only once she was up remembering to grimace in pain and transfer her weight to her right foot. Grabbing hold of the cane, she turned back to her mother and James.
‘You’re right, I am tired and in pain. I hope you will excuse me.’
She limped off, knowing she had to stop running away from everyone. Soon she would have to face James and Lord Hauxton and make a final decision on her future. A decision that would determine the rest of her life.
Just as she was about to start up the stairs she heard footsteps behind her and saw James ducking out of the drawing room. He strode over to her, pressed something in her hand and then without a word turned and walked away.
Looking down, she saw the small square of paper in her hand. Quickly she closed her fingers back around it and hurried up the stairs.
Only once she was in her room with the door locked behind her, the cane thrown on the bed, did she open the note.
A glass of wine at midnight? J.
A single sentence. A single question, but there was so much layered underneath it. Her first reaction was to screw up the note in frustration and throw it in the bin, but something stopped her just as her fingers began to crumple the paper. It would be reckless to go and, if she were caught, her reputation would be ruined, but that wasn’t why she was hesitating. If she went, she knew exactly what she would be walking in to. She doubted she and James would be able to be together somewhere private and not end up in an intimate position.
She wanted that, had dreamed about it for so long, but she knew it was at odds with her other plans for her future. If she went tonight, she would be giving up on her hopes for a marriage, for a family and the future she had imagined. It wouldn’t be fair to give herself to James and then agree to marry Lord Hauxton.
Flopping back on the bed, she closed her eyes. Perhaps she should just leave things to fate. If she woke up in time for midnight she would go to James, if she slept through she would marry Lord Hauxton.
* * *
Five minutes to midnight. The little clock on the dressing table seem to tick loudly, even though before tonight she hadn’t been aware of the sound. Caroline was still undecided, still unsure whether she would stay in her room with her door locked or creep along the corridor to spend one single night with the man she loved.
Standing, she pulled on her dressing gown, tying the belt to make sure she was completely covered, then she sat back on the bed and drummed her fingers against the covers. To go or to stay?
Closing her eyes, she thought of the moment she’d first met James, of the way he’d looked at her and smiled, of every moment since when they’d laughed together, danced together. She’d loved him for five years and here was her chance to have one night of happiness in his arms.
Standing again, she pushed all thoughts of her future away. Tonight she was going to take what she wanted and tell herself the memory of it would be enough.
Caroline paused before opening the door, listening to the silence outside her room. Most of the guests had come up to bed an hour ago, turning in relatively early to save their energies for the masquerade ball tomorrow night. Still, the last thing she wanted was to be creeping along to James’s room and to bump into another guest to bear witness to her scandalous behaviour.
Slowly she opened the door and peered out. The corridor was empty and quiet. She had to resist the urge to run down its length instead stepping out slowly. If she walked calmly and were to be seen by anyone else, they would just assume she was up to find a glass of water or something similar.
With her heart pounding in her chest, she made her way out of the east wing and through the main section of the house. The gentlemen had all been placed in the west wing, the ladies in the east. As she reached the stairs in the very centre she paused. After the next step there would be no turning back.
Caroline took a breath and then hurried on, only stopping when she was outside the door she knew was James’s. Quietly she knocked, hoping he was standing ready to open the door and usher her in.
‘You came,’ he said, the surprise evident in his voice as he gently pulled her into the room.
‘I came.’
For a moment they just stood there, looking at one another as if they both couldn’t quite believe they were here together.
Quietly he shut the door behind her and Caroline moved further into the room. For a moment she kept her back to him, aware that her nerves would be evident in her expression and needing a moment to calm herself before she turned back to face the man she loved.
‘Wine?’ he offered.
‘You actually have wine?’
‘Not the bottle from the vineyard near San Taomino, but I did bring a bottle and a couple of glasses upstairs just in case you came.’
Caroline nodded. Wine might help her nerves, quieten down the butterflies in her stomach. As he poured she began pacing around the room, unable to keep still.
‘Cara,’ James said as he passed her the glass. ‘Stop a moment.’ He took her hand and held it, watching as she took a sip of the wine. ‘Sit and relax.’
Of course she couldn’t relax. She was in the bedr
oom of the man she loved and they both knew what her presence here meant. Soon the wine would be gone and it would just be the two of them and their desires.
Closing her eyes, she sank down on to the edge of his huge bed. It was made of solid oak, the four posts thick and carved, the canopy above finely embroidered. No doubt the Wellingtons’ best guest room for the Duke.
She felt the shift of the mattress as James sat down beside her, his leg brushing gently against hers.
‘I never dared to believe you would come,’ he said with his lips close to her ear.
‘I know I shouldn’t...’ She trailed off as he came in closer and kissed her in the sensitive spot just behind her earlobe.
‘Don’t say that.’ He kissed her again, trailing his lips down her neck. Caroline felt her head drop back instinctively as a warm flush began to spread through her body. ‘You have the most perfect neck,’ he murmured, his words tickling her skin and making her shiver with anticipation. ‘But I’ve been dreaming about kissing more than your neck.’
Slowly he ran his fingers across her shoulder and down her arm, ending up near her waist. Gently but firmly he pulled on the cord fastening her dressing gown, loosening the thick material and then pushing it from her shoulders. As the gown fell on to the bed behind her Caroline felt a momentary chill from the cool air hitting her body. Her nightdress was thin and, although it covered most of her body, it was only a single layer.
‘Better,’ James said, eyeing her nightdress, ‘but not quite perfect yet.’ He loosened the ties that held it together across her chest, allowing the thin cotton to fall apart, then he lowered his lips to the exposed skin at the base of her throat. ‘You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined doing this.’ His voice was hoarse, filled with desire, and Caroline felt a surge of power. She might have loved him for a long time, but here he was wanting her, desiring her.
For a moment she allowed herself just to enjoy the sensation of his lips on her skin, to be swept away in the moment. As his mouth trailed lower, pushing against the neckline of her nightdress, she snaked an arm behind him, pulling him in closer, and together they tumbled backwards on the bed. He was still dressed in trousers and shirt, his neck open from where he’d pulled off his cravat. Caroline wanted to feel his skin on hers, his body on hers, and as he continued to kiss her she started to tug his shirt up over his head.