by Liz Lee
“It’s a veil, and I don’t know about putty. But I do know something about that black lace bothered him. I wish I…”
Eliza cut her off. “Stop it right there. If you’re out to seduce the man you can’t go deciding to try to fix him. I know you and I know that tone of voice. What bothered him was the idea of you and black lace in one room.”
Eliza might be right, but it didn't change the fact that Donovan didn't want her like that.
If only she could get beyond the long dark hair, the small diamond earring, the way his face was scruffy, unshaven for a couple days. The blue eyes that reminded her of one of his Mediterranean post cards.
He’d been her fantasy for so long, she wasn’t sure she could let it go.
When Donovan heard the knock on the door, he wasn’t surprised. The empty living room mocked him.
Opening the door would set a series of events in motion that could never be taken back. Kacie Jo’d been a spark of innocence in the drudgery of his life for so long. He didn’t want to lose her.
With that thought, he opened the door and came face to face with the girl he’d imagined for months instead of the temptress who’d stopped by earlier.
Relief surged through him. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail much as she’d worn it as the teenaged basketball champion, the way he remembered before he left. Her face was scrubbed clean of all but mascara. The way her jeans and shirt fit snug against her body made it clear she was all grown up, but this outfit didn’t scream come and get me.
Thank you, God, this Kacie Jo he could handle.
“Well, hey there stranger.” He spoke the words with a playful drawl, letting her know he noticed the difference and liked it.
She lifted an eyebrow in a cocky grin and pursed her lips. “Don’t ‘hey there’ me, Donovan Nelson. And you can keep your sweet talk to yourself.”
Donovan fought the disappointment at this turn of events. Insane disappointment, but disappointment all the same.
He opened the door further. “Come on in.”
She sashayed past him, and for a second, Donovan wondered if this reminder of a simpler past was more seductive than the earlier tease.
He decided then and there they couldn’t avoid earlier. Sure, it might be easier to move forward from here and pretend earlier hadn’t taken place. But it would also be dangerous.
“So what changed your mind?”
She didn't back down from his challenge. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“I was almost afraid to open the door. I thought I might find you wearing nothing but a raincoat or something along those lines.”
“Well, I thought about it.”
“But?”
She laughed, and he caught a glimpse of the temptress. “One, what a total cliché. Two, in case you’ve forgotten, this is my brother’s place.”
Like that mattered. “Didn’t seem to bother you earlier.”
Her soft laughter soothed a broken place inside him. “You know me. Bothering Grady just gave me extra incentive.”
His broken soul refused to be soothed.
“So you’re telling me that come on earlier was a form of rebellion against your brother?”
His gaze slowly lowered to take in lightly glossed lips that smelled like strawberries, before she finally answered. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Donovan closed the door, and the self-destructive demon inside him sprang to life, good intentions forgotten as he leaned forward and braced a hand on either side of her head.
“So I’m being ridiculous now?” He whispered the question, and he could see the response flare in her eyes. Could see her nervous tension in the way she swallowed after he spoke.
He wanted to touch her sweet lips with his. To see if they tasted the way they smelled. To see if that mixture of wax and scent could sweep him back to days when his worst nightmare had been seeing which new “uncle” his mother brought home to live in the trailer.
And he would have if she hadn’t ducked under his arms and moved away from him, across the room. “I’m not having this conversation with you. You want to be friends. Remember?”
He took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on his bearings. This was Kacie Jo, not some cheap date who wanted nothing more than dinner and a night of passion.
"Maybe I changed my mind.”
“Too bad," she said. "I've changed mine."
"Oh really?"
She nodded in perfect seriousness. “Yes. When I left I realized that if I wanted you, I could have you.”
“Oh, you did?”
“Of course. I could have you now if I wanted.”
The fact that she was saying those words across the room, arms crossed protectively across her chest struck him as incredible. This was quite possibly one of the most remarkable conversations of his life.
“Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you’re right.”
Her hands lowered to her hips and in spite of the ponytail and clean face, she looked every bit the temptress from earlier. “I know I’m right.”
“How do you know?”
She seemed to come to a decision. Fascinated, he watched emotions cross her face. First indecision, then determination and then…he wasn’t sure what word to give the heated gaze she sent his way as she strolled forward seductively.
He couldn’t wait to see what she did next.
She raised her hand to his arm and slowly ran her fingers down his bicep. “I think you know very well how. I think you feel the same thing I do right now.”
Donovan didn’t bother to answer, but he refused to move either.
“Be honest here, Donovan. If I push you, you’ll say yes, won’t you?”
“Yes.”
“But you’ll hate yourself in the morning won’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then, we can’t have that.” And with those words, Kacie Jo stepped away, breaking the spell he’d been under since he’d answered the door.
Kacie Jo tried to still her shaking hands. She’d given up her fantasy, and she’d known it was the right thing to do. But to have Donovan acknowledge she could have him if she wanted made stepping away the most difficult thing she’d ever done.
We can be friends. We can be friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Kacie Jo kept mentally repeating those words as his perfect mouth turned down in a puzzled frown.
Finally, she could no longer stand his silence. “What?”
Donovan shook his head. “I just can’t get over it. I knew you’d be here, all grown up, but half the time I look at you I expect to see a fourteen year old kid with her head stuck in a book.”
Nothing like a reminder of that gawky-braces-big-teeth stage of life to put a girl in her place. “I haven’t been fourteen in a very long time. And you saw me after that anyway.”
She remembered good and well the last time she’d seen him. She’d been seventeen, and she’d been on the phone with Eliza trying to figure out how to get a date for the Spring Formal. In the back of her mind, she’d wondered if she could convince Donovan to go as her escort.
Of course, she’d known that was a dream. He was so much older and the idea of a high school dance would have sent both him and Grady into fits of laughter.
That night Donovan broke the news that he was going to throw himself into the life of a combat reporter as if he were saying he was buying a puppy. No big deal.
And he’d done just that. For six years, he’d settled for phone calls and cards instead of visiting.
Now, he was finally home, and while she was willing to let her dream die for his sake, they better get one thing straight right away. “I’m certainly not that kid any more.”
He laughed. “You sure aren’t.”
His words were filled with meaning, and she couldn’t help but be pleased. No matter what, she would always remember the look on his face when she’d walked into her brother’s apartment earlier and the even more appreciative look he gave her now.
�
�It’s good to see you again.”
He smiled. “You too.” And suddenly there was an awkward silence. Something quiet and lonely instead of the tension-filled breaks from earlier.
Kacie Jo looked around her brother’s living room and tried to decide whether she should go sit on the couch or stay standing. She wondered if Grady was awake, listening, waiting to come out and tell her to get her head screwed on straight.
After a few seconds, Donovan smiled. “Hey, why don’t we get out of here, just go walking or something, and you can tell me all about life in the big city of Caldale, Texas, for the last six years, and I can tell you about the pyramids.”
At his words Kacie Jo was happy she hadn’t acted on her earlier impulse. The idea of seducing Donovan Nelson had seemed so important. But a real friendship, a real knowledge of who he was and what made him tick, was as good as what she’d envisioned.
As she walked out the door to her brother’s apartment following the man of her dreams, she said goodbye to her childish fantasy and instead embraced this new reality. Donovan Nelson was a man and she was a woman, and they were going to be friends. And if she could help ease some of the pain she’d seen in his eyes, that was all the better.
Donovan led the way, but he wasn’t exactly sure where they were going or why they were going anywhere. Nothing he’d said or done had gone as planned. But from the moment he’d let Kacie Jo in Grady’s door, she’d been surprising him.
He had no business returning to Caldale. No right to the celebrity status he found he’d achieved. He was only back because Grady was, for all intents and purposes, like a brother, and Grady’s father, Ike, had been the closest thing to a father he’d known. And he knew if he stayed away, if he never set foot in Caldale again, they’d come to him.
That, he could never stand. He didn’t want to think of them finding him in Dallas or Houston or Mexico or wherever he headed to next.
Hell, he hadn’t even bothered to go see his own mother yet. Truth be told, he didn’t want to see her or talk to her. The idea of stepping foot in that damn pink trailer of hers left him feeling a combination of anger and resentment he should’ve been over a long time ago.
But he wasn’t. His relationship with his mother or lack thereof was just the tip of the iceberg where his problems were concerned, and he knew it.
Knew it and didn’t give a damn.
Now here he was leading Kacie Jo who knew where. The air was heavy with humidity and still hot from the day’s odd spring heat. Breathing wasn’t exactly easy, and his cotton shirt stuck to his chest and back. Weird how the Texas heat bothered him after years in the desert.
Kacie Jo didn’t say a word, just walked beside him in companionable silence, swiping beads of sweat away when they veered too close to her eyes.
She’d followed him just like this years before. She’d been like a puppy back then, willing to go anywhere just to be included. But he and Grady hadn’t given her much time.
As he stood there watching her brush wet tendrils of hair out of her face, he realized he was curious about who she’d become.
“So, Kacie Jo Jenkins, what’ve you been doing with yourself for the last six years.”
Her laugh was easy and full of life, and he couldn’t help but smile as she answered. “Oh, I can guarantee you, my life’s been boring compared to yours. You know Caldale. The city lights switch off at ten p.m.”
“And here I was thinking it had to be eleven.”
When she shook her head tendrils of hair escaped her ponytail and stuck to her damp neck, and he wondered if she knew how pretty she was. “I bet Caldale hasn’t changed a bit since you left.”
Well, there she was absolutely wrong. “Something’s certainly changed. When I left, they didn’t let pretty young girls walk around in outfits like the one you wore earlier tonight.”
A small frown marred her face as she stopped and put her hands on her hips, looking much as she had as a little girl telling him and Grady to stop sitting on her invisible friend, Patrice. Only Kacie Jo would’ve come up with a name like Patrice.
“Now listen here, Donovan Nelson, we agreed to put the past behind us. We can’t very well do that if you’re going to go around throwing that outfit in my face.”
He stood back and held his hands out in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. We’ll forget all about it.”
He said the words knowing they weren’t true for at least one of them but intent on forging this newfound friendship. “Besides, I didn’t ask about Caldale, I asked about you.”
She moved to his side, her stride nearly matching his. “What do you want to know?”
Everything. The answer came unbidden to his mind and he very nearly said the word out loud. Instead, he pushed it away and turned to his reporter’s training. “Well, let’s see, I know from your letters that you’re a teacher. Why don’t you start there?”
As she talked, he enjoyed the obvious happiness on her face. And when they ended up at the city park, he figured it was as good a stopping place as any.
He would’ve gone to the grassy hill where he’d spent many a youthful day, but Kacie Jo walked straight to the swings.
Once she’d taken a seat, she pushed forward and looked at him with a challenge in her eyes. “I bet you still can’t swing as high as I can.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her he and Grady had let her win the swing wars because she’d been so damn cute when she jumped off the swing yelling, “I won, I won.”
Instead, he stood behind her and pushed. “How about I stand back here and you tell me more about the famous Caldale teacher of the year.”
She laughed but the heightened color on her cheeks told him she was pleased he knew that bit of hometown news. “How about you tell me how you ended up on the news with a black hat on your head sounding for all the world like an honest to God cowboy? When I saw you the first time, I nearly spit Coca Cola all over my dorm room.”
Now it was his turn to laugh. “Are you saying I look bad in a hat?”
She tilted her head back. “Are you kidding? You looked great, but I seem to remember my daddy trying to get you to wear a hat quite similar to that for Harvest Days. I distinctly recall your answer. You said, ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Jenkins, but there’s no way in hell that hat’s going on my head.’ You were quite the exotic boy in Caldale, refusing to wear a cowboy hat or boot cut jeans.”
He remembered the day she was talking about perfectly well. That same day, his momma had brought home a new man, Buck Taylor, rodeo scum looking for a place to lay over until the money ran out or he outstayed his welcome, whichever came first.
But he wasn’t going to tell Kacie Jo about that. So he smiled and pushed her harder, making her laugh. “That was me all right. Always different. And I’ll have you know, that hat gave me my big break. It was a gimmick, something to make me different. The producers went wild when I put it on as a farce. Before I knew it, there I was in front of the camera.”
“So where is it now?”
For a second, he considered answering the question, considered breaking down and telling her all about it. But then he saw the way her face glowed in the moonlight, the way her smile was carefree and full of fun, the way she looked at him as if being Donovan “Tex” Nelson made him larger than life, and he couldn’t do it.
Instead, he grabbed her around the waist and brought the swing to a complete stop. “Let’s just say the real Donovan Nelson is back in town and Tex has made his way off to some land far, far away.”
Before he could stop himself, he twisted the swing around so she faced him, and then he brushed away the hair that had found a way to stick to her cheek. He told himself he would’ve stopped there if she hadn’t chosen just that moment to look into his eyes, if she hadn’t chosen just that moment to blink and open her mouth to say something he didn’t want to hear.
He told himself all of that even though he didn’t believe a single word of it as he slowly lowered his lips to hers for one simple kiss.
Chapter Four
Donovan’s lips touched Kacie Jo’s, and for just a moment, she let herself bask in the glorious feelings that ran from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
Kisses like this didn’t happen every day, and she wasn’t foolish enough to stop this one before it ran its course.
After a few seconds, she gently pulled away and twisted the swing back to the right direction.
With a great deal of effort, she kept her voice light and fun-filled. “I’m going to have to protest if you insist on kissing me like that, Mr. Nelson. We’ll never keep things on the nice friendly basis we’ve agreed to.”
She kicked off the ground and swung through the air waiting for his answer, praying he followed her lead. Cursing him for giving her that single taste of could have been.
One, two, three.
Just when she decided she’d have to jump down and force him to talk, he finally spoke. “Sorry. God, I’m sorry, Kacie Jo.”
Great. An apology. She’d touched heaven, and he wanted to apologize. She jumped off the swing and faced him, ready to give him what for and then some. But when she saw him standing there looking for all the world like one of her students when they realized they’d gone too far, she couldn’t do it.
“Don’t be ridiculous. What’s a kiss between friends? Besides, you knew I was dying to know what it would be like.”
“And?”
She was surprised he asked the question. One word or an entire sentence, the result was the same. He wanted to know what she thought. “Forget it. You want to fish for compliments, you go kiss some other girl.”
He laughed and she grabbed his hand and tugged him across the park to the grassy hill he’d wanted to sit on earlier. “Tell me about working there, in the middle of wars.”
Kacie Jo listened as Donovan talked about his job in generic terms. Words like deadlines, social media revolution and payoffs all running together to paint a picture of the work he did.
He obviously loved his job, and she knew first hand he was good. Everyone talked about Tex Nelson. Shoot, Wal-Mart carried posters of him. But the man sitting here talking was terribly unhappy. Grady was right. Donovan was barely hanging on.