Undaunted Hope

by Jody Hedlund

  He wasn’t exactly sure when his deep wounds had started to heal, any more than he was sure when Michael’s grief had started to subside. But apparently they were both beginning to feel the urge to be with a woman in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time.

  Tessa picked off another substantial piece of the pasty and slipped it into her mouth. As she chewed she made a murmur that sounded like a contented kitten. The pleasure rippling across her face sent a spurt of fire into Alex’s blood.

  Michael was watching Tessa too, and from the flare that lit his eyes, Alex had no doubt his brother was reacting the same way.

  Alex let out a sigh, pushing down a swell of jealousy. He didn’t want Michael to like Tessa so much. His brother’s affection would only complicate matters when Alex finally swept Tessa off her feet.

  Chapter 9

  Adoration,” Henry Benney said. “A-d-o-r-a-t-i-o-n. Adoration.”

  Tessa nodded at her brightest student. “That’s correct.”

  He was the last one standing at the front of the classroom for the spelling quiz she’d given to those students participating in her extra class in spelling.

  Even though the spelling club met after school, she’d determined to offer the challenge to all her students. She wanted to foster a love of learning in them, to awaken an interest in studying by making each subject appealing. She knew that if her scholars fell in love with a subject, they would make more of an effort to learn and perhaps even do so on their own.

  So far she had fifteen students who’d decided to stay after for the extra class. While several of the students were too young to participate, like Ingrid, she’d still promised the class that she would organize a special spelling bee with some of the other local schools during the winter. If they wanted to compete, they needed to start preparing right away.

  “What does adoration mean, Miss Taylor?” Ingrid asked from her bench in the front row.

  “Does anyone else know?” she asked, looking to the other students.

  Henry raised his hand.

  “Yes, Henry?”

  “Does it mean strong admiration?”

  She nodded. “Correct again.”

  “Kinda like my daddy feels for you, Miss Taylor?” Ingrid asked.

  The class tittered. Tessa inwardly squirmed and tried not to glance upward to the general vicinity where Michael Bjorklund was even now repairing a spot in the schoolhouse roof.

  He’d come several times that week after school to patch the roof, which had leaked during a recent rain.

  Ingrid looked up at her with wide adoring eyes. Tessa was tempted to reply that Ingrid herself embodied the definition of adoration. But the expectancy on the little girl’s face told her that she wouldn’t be satisfied until she had an answer about her father.

  “I think your father is very kind, Ingrid,” Tessa said, choosing her words carefully. “I have the feeling he wants to make sure the schoolhouse is in good working order because he cares about your education.”

  That was only partly true. Michael did seem to genuinely care about Ingrid and Gunnar’s education. But he’d also been looking at her with something more than scholarly interest. She’d sensed him appraising her on more than one occasion with an interest that went beyond the parent-teacher relationship.

  She knew she needed to say something to him soon, so he understood that she couldn’t involve herself with a man at this point in her life, not when she was determined to be a teacher—at least for a few more years. Since married women weren’t allowed to teach, she’d crossed marriage off her to-do list for the time being. She certainly didn’t want to lead Michael to believe she was eligible when she wasn’t.

  “Don’t you think he’s real nice, Miss Taylor?” Ingrid asked, not having yet caught on to the fact that she needed to raise her hand to ask questions.

  Again the other students giggled. Gunnar blushed and shot Ingrid a censuring frown.

  “He’s very nice, Ingrid.”

  “And handsome too?”

  Tessa fought back a smile. She couldn’t deny that Michael Bjorklund was a handsome man, much like Alex. “Your father is fine-looking. And so are you.”

  Ingrid smiled. “Then maybe you can come out to the lighthouse and have dinner with us soon.”

  Tessa almost choked at the girl’s audacity. “That’s sweet of you to offer, Ingrid, but as your teacher I have to remain impartial—uninvolved, that is. I can’t have personal entanglements.”

  Ingrid’s unchanging wide-eyed stare told Tessa the little girl hadn’t understood a single word she just said.

  Tessa scrambled to find another answer that could explain why she wasn’t romantically inclined toward Michael. But how could she possibly tell a six-year-old that even if she were open to the idea of marriage, she would never consider a man like Michael. He was a lightkeeper, and she wanted nothing to do with lighthouses ever again.

  With all eyes watching her, waiting for further explanation, she glanced at the clock on the wall. Half past four. “Would you look at the time? Where did it go? Now we need to be done for the afternoon.”

  She encouraged the students to practice their word lists at home that evening and then dismissed them. As they filed out, she erased the board, hoping to avoid any more of Ingrid’s questions.

  “Uncle Alex?” Ingrid called out a greeting laced with surprise.

  Tessa spun before she could stop herself. Sauntering down the center aisle was Alex, his hair wind-tossed, his smile carefree. He was wearing his blue-striped sweater, the one that made his eyes especially vibrant.

  “You didn’t need to come get us,” Ingrid informed her uncle. “Me and Gunnar have been walking home by ourselves just fine.”

  “Gunnar and I,” Tessa corrected.

  “Gunnar and I,” Ingrid said. “Besides, Daddy is here fixing the roof.”

  “I’m well aware that your father’s here,” Alex said, glancing up. “He’s been here every blessed chance he can get.”

  “Aren’t the two of you supposed to be sleeping during the afternoons?” Tessa asked.

  “We should be,” Alex replied wryly. “But apparently, one of us has been using that time to visit the schoolhouse every day while the other of us sleeps the afternoon away.”

  “Your brother has been a saint to make the repairs. He’s obviously very dedicated to seeing that his children are taken care of.”

  “That’s not all he’s dedicated to seeing,” Alex mumbled.

  Tessa almost flushed at Alex’s insinuation, but decided to pretend she hadn’t caught the implication. “Your brother is a good man. A very good man.”

  “Whoa. You could have stopped with good. No need to gush over him.”

  Tessa smiled. Did she detect some sibling rivalry? “Well, I do appreciate his kindness. He’s been generous to help around here without receiving any compensation.”

  As if sensing her goading, Alex grinned slowly. “Head on out now, you two,” he said to Ingrid and Gunnar while staring at Tessa. “And make sure to tell your father that I think one of the gears on the lantern is stuck. He needs to take a look at it right away.”

  When the schoolhouse door opened and then banged closed after the children left, Alex said in a low voice, “You’re right about Michael. He’s much more thoughtful than me.” He moved toward her and didn’t stop until he stood directly in front of her. In fact, the presence of his towering body overwhelmed her so that she took a step backward and found herself at the edge of the blackboard. “There’s no way I’d help patch the roof without expecting some kind of compensation from you.”

  When his attention dropped to her lips, Tessa caught her breath and flattened against the blackboard. She knew exactly what kind of payment Alex had in mind. It frightened her to realize she might not want to resist him if he tried to kiss her. But certainly he wouldn’t try, would he?

  He slid an arm past her and rested a palm against the board near her head.

  “You’d be disappointed,” she sai
d, wishing she didn’t sound quite so breathless. “Because I don’t offer any compensation.” He was altogether too near. She caught the whiff of a fresh soapy scent and felt the warmth of his breath.

  His cocked grin told her that he didn’t believe her, that he knew the effect he had on women. “Not even for this?” He held up his other hand. He was holding a book, and the gold lettering on the spine read The Courtship of Miles Standish.

  She smiled at the book. “Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.”

  “Your favorite, isn’t it?” he asked.

  She was amazed he remembered. She reached to take the book from him, but he moved it high above their heads.

  “If I let you borrow this,” he said softly, his attention again on her lips, “what will you give me in return?”

  “What do you want?” She already knew, and her pulse began to race at the thought of actually kissing the handsome man in front of her.

  “I think you know the answer to that.”

  Her stomach fluttered. “Maybe just a very brief one.”

  “Brief what?”

  “Kiss.”

  “Kiss?” His tone lifted. “Miss Taylor, are you thinking of kissing me?”

  She blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “I thought that’s what you wanted—”

  “No,” he said. “I was thinking of that pie you promised me.”

  “Pie?” She realized then she’d been staring at his mouth. She tore her gaze away and found herself looking into his eyes, which were filled with humor. “You big tease.” She pushed at his chest, sending him stumbling back a couple of steps. “You’re terrible!”

  He bent over with laughter.

  She couldn’t keep from smiling. Even if she was embarrassed at being caught thinking about kissing him, she knew he’d been thinking the same. Part of her was actually relieved that he hadn’t coerced her into a kiss, although she had to admit there was a tiny part of her that was disappointed too. Her heart was still beating fast at the thought of what it would be like to feel his embrace and the touch of his lips.

  He held out the book to her again.

  This time she didn’t reach for it.

  His smile faded, and his eyes darkened with unmistakable desire.

  She sucked in her breath.

  “Here,” he said. “I want you to read it. No strings attached.”

  Tentatively she reached for it, and when he let go, she found that she was almost trembling under his scrutiny. She hugged the book against her chest. “Thank you.”

  He nodded.

  The schoolhouse door opened, and Michael poked his head inside. At the sight of Alex, he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

  Alex shrugged. “What does it look like?”

  All Tessa could think about was how Michael would have answered his brother’s question if he’d arrived a minute earlier.

  “I’m here to walk Tessa home from school,” Alex said.

  “I’ll take care of that,” Michael shot back.

  “Didn’t the kids tell you about the problem with the gears?”

  “The gears were just fine when I went off duty this morning.”

  “I know for a fact that one of them is loose now.”

  Michael muttered something under his breath and then looked at Tessa. “I’ve got the roof patched up. Does anything else need fixing? I could come back tomorrow.”

  At the hopeful tone of his voice, Tessa couldn’t say no. “Some of the students’ benches are wobbly. I don’t want to take up more of your time, but I’d be grateful if you could take a look at them.”

  “It would be my pleasure.” He gave her a nod with the hint of a smile, and with a last frown at Alex, he stepped outside, leaving the door wide open behind him.

  After Michael was gone, Alex shook his head. “Wobbly benches? That’s a poor excuse to get alone with Michael.”

  She started stacking papers and books into a pile on her desk. “I’m not planning to spend any time alone with your brother.”

  “That’s good,” Alex said, standing directly behind her. He’d moved in close so that his breath tingled the nape of her neck. If she leaned back a fraction, she would have bumped his chest. “Don’t you know you’re only allowed to spend time alone with me?”

  “And who made that rule?” She fumbled at the papers, trying to act nonchalant, as though his presence didn’t affect her so much.

  “I did.”

  She had the urge to lean back against him. Would he wrap his arms around her, draw her close, and bury his face in her neck? The thought almost undid her.

  Stop this instant, she scolded herself. You have to be stronger. You have to resist temptation.

  Behind her, his breathing quickened.

  She steadied herself and then ducked away from him. “Listen, Alex,” she said while putting a safe distance between them. No matter how lighthearted he was, there was no denying that an attraction existed between them. She had to be honest and make sure he understood that she could never be anything more than friends with him.

  “I don’t want to mislead you,” she started again.

  He watched her with his infuriatingly lazy grin.

  “I can’t . . . We can’t . . .”

  “What are you trying to tell me, Miss Taylor? Have you been entertaining thoughts of courting me? Is that why you told me your favorite book is The Courtship of Miles Standish, so that you could plant ideas in my mind about courting you?”

  She laughed. “Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to do. How did you guess?”

  “Well, you can put that thought far from your mind. I have no intention of courting you.”

  “Well,” she repeated, “that’s good, because I have no intention of being courted.”

  “There’s no law against loaning you a book, is there? And last I checked, it was the polite thing for a man to make sure a lady made it home safely.” His expression was so innocent, she wondered if perhaps she’d imagined the heat sizzling between them. Was she the one insinuating more than there really was, like she had with the kiss?

  He waited for her to finish tidying up, all the while leaning against the doorframe and watching her. She was glad to step outside and let the cool October air soothe her overheated cheeks.

  As they walked the short distance through town with Wolfie and Bear running ahead, the miners were pouring out of the hills, having ended their day shift. Others were waiting to descend the ladders and take their places. She nodded greetings to some of the men she’d gotten to know through her evening class. Their black soot-covered faces widened into smiles that warmed her heart.

  “Why did you come to my evening class only once?” she asked Alex once they turned off Center Street and started down the grassy path toward her home. The shadows from the surrounding hills and the thick woods had lengthened, and the late afternoon sky was already turning darker.

  “Do you miss me?” Alex teased.

  “As a matter of fact, I do miss you. I’d miss any of my students if they decided not to come back.”

  “Michael doesn’t want me to leave the light unattended,” Alex said ambling next to her, carrying her bag of books and lesson plans. “Especially this time of year when the lake is moody. And I guess I have to agree with him. We need to stay on watch.”

  She nodded. She knew all too well the demands of the light. It had consumed her father’s life for years before his arthritis had made it difficult for him to ascend the tower steps. Eventually the demands had fallen on her sister Caroline’s shoulders. Everything had centered on making sure the lantern was lit every night. They’d never been able to go anywhere, do anything, or have normal lives.

  The lighthouse had taken much and had given little in return.

  “Once commerce on the lakes halts for the winter, then I’ll have more flexibility,” Alex continued.

  She knew too that they’d shut down the light for the winter, for there would be no need for it again until the spring. That w
as true of most of the lighthouses along the Great Lakes, including the one on Lake St. Clair where she’d lived. The long, lonely winter was just one more reason why the life of a lightkeeper was less than appealing.

  “How many more weeks until you’re free?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “It all depends. Some years winter comes as early as November. Other years the ice doesn’t form until December.”

  She calculated the number of days Alex would have to miss her evening class. Even if he was able to start attending in November, he’d be too far behind the others to catch up. “You’ll have to miss too many classes.”

  “I guess I’m destined to remain ignorant,” he said lightly.

  “Of course it’s not your destiny.”

  “I don’t mind. I’ve always figured God created me to do the kind of work that requires brawn, not brains.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Alex stopped walking.

  “Everyone deserves a chance at an education,” she insisted, “including you.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  She turned to face him, not caring about the curious glances they were eliciting from the miners walking past them to their log homes.

  “Having an education doesn’t make me more or less of a man,” he finally said, his shoulders stiff.

  She didn’t answer. The truth was, she did believe an education improved people, made them better citizens, better parents, and better workers. “How about if I tutor you?” she said without thinking.

  His brow tilted up at the same time as his lips.

  She could almost hear his playful accusation that she was trumping up an excuse to spend more time with him, which wasn’t true—not in the least.

  “I could give you the same lessons I’m giving my evening class,” she hurried to explain. “Then when you rejoin the class in a few weeks, you won’t be so far behind.”

  His grin widened, revealing his white teeth in contrast to his tanned face. “How can I say no to your request to spend time with me alone?”

  “I’m not requesting any time alone—”

  “Just admit it. You like being with me.”