The Mammoth Book of Celtic Myths and Legends

by Peter Berresford Ellis

  Hearing this, Odo Paden grew sad, for he found that he was much attracted to the beautiful mermaid. He felt contrite at what he had done. He had been thinking merely of ways of raising money and not of the mermaid’s welfare. When he raised his head to apologise to her, he found she had vanished in the darkness of the storm.

  That night he made up his mind.

  He took his belongings and set out for Creg y Baih. By that fearsome rock, he anchored his boat and shouted: “Drogh-Yantagh! If you hear me, come and show your face to me. Don’t be afraid. I am only a poor fisherman here to make you laugh!”

  At once there was a tremendous sound, as if the rocks were cracking asunder and there, sitting atop Creg y Baih, was a tall, thin, dark man with flashing black eyes.

  “I am not afraid of you, little man.” His voice resounded like thunder. “You will have cause to regret your presumptuousness, when I feed your body to the denizens of the deep.”

  “No need for that,” replied Odo Paden. “I am here to make you laugh.”

  “Laugh, is it? I have not laughed these seven years. No humour in this world do I see. Many have tried and failed and all their bodies are now particles in the deep, tasty morsels for the creatures who dwell there.”

  “I am prepared to try.”

  “Then you must obtain from me three great laughs. If you do, you shall be at liberty.”

  “I am at liberty now,” replied Odo Paden candidly. “If I do this, I want something else from you.”

  “And what is that?” thundered the amazed wizard.

  “I want the freedom of the mermaid who is the king’s daughter. She must be free and allowed to come back and dwell on land.”

  Drogh-Yantagh scratched his chin thoughtfully.

  “Now this is an amusing matter. It appeals to me.”

  He clicked his fingers and no sooner had he done so than the beautiful mermaid was sitting by his side on the “rock of drowning”.

  Her eyes widened with amazement when she saw Odo Paden. “What are you doing here?” she whispered. “Do you not know that you are in grave danger?”

  “I have come to fulfil my word, lady,” replied Odo Paden. “I mean to buy your freedom.”

  Drogh-Yantagh smiled; in fact, he almost laughed at the humour of it. “Of that we shall see. Commence! Try to make me laugh.”

  Odo Paden opened his sack and placed the cat with its fiddle, the mouse and cockroach together on the deck of his boat. Then he told them to strike up.

  So surprised was Drogh-Yantagh at this exhibition that he gave a big laugh of delight.

  “That is the first laugh,” observed Odo Paden.

  The cat continued to play while the mouse and cockroach stood on their hind legs and began to jig. Drogh-Yantagh pressed his lips together but when the jig ended and he saw the mouse bow to the cockroach, and the cockroach curtsy to the mouse, he could not hold back another bellow of laughter.

  “That is the second laugh,” observed Odo Paden.

  Now they set up another dance and, try as they might, the Druid’s face remained as graven as stone. Odo Paden was beginning to lose heart and the mermaid sighed sadly.

  Then it was that the mouse came to their help, for it pirouetted on one foot and its long tail whipped round and struck the cockroach, who fell backward and upset the cat, who dropped its fiddle on the head of the mouse, who was knocked out.

  Drogh-Yantagh laughed with the tears rolling down his sallow cheeks.

  “That, I believe, is the third laugh,” observed Odo Paden.

  Immediately the Druid was angry at having laughed, but a bargain was a bargain.

  The mermaid suddenly had long, beautiful legs and stepped lightly down into Odo Paden’s boat. She was so beautiful that she took Odo’s breath away.

  When Drogh Yantagh saw her gazing on the fisherman with eyes of love, he grew even more angry.

  “Bah! If you hadn’t tricked me with that cat, mouse and cockroach . . .”

  As he said this, the Creg y Baih suddenly split open, revealing a great fiery furnace in the middle and into it Drogh-Yantagh fell. Now the reason is plain, as all Manx fishermen know. There are certain words that it is forbidden to say when at sea. Among them is the word for cat, kayt, for every good Manxman will say, instead, “screeberey”; and among the forbidden words is the word lugh, for mouse, for every good Manxman will say, instead, “lonnag”; and the third word not to be spoken at sea was deyll, for cockroach, for every good Manxman will say, instead, “kerog”. So when the old Druid said the three forbidden words in the middle of the sea, he was claimed by the infernal powers.

  No sooner did the old Druid get swallowed by the rock than it closed up again and retained its craggy, cold appearance.

  At the very same time, the cat, the mouse and the cockroach suddenly turned into an old fiddler, a young man and a girl. They thanked Odo Paden for saving them and turning them back into their real forms. It seemed that the evil Druid, Drogh-Yantagh, had turned them into the forms of the creatures because he disliked their music. While he could change their forms, he could not stop their gift to make music and dance. All three swore eternal friendship to Odo Paden and promised to dance at his wedding.

  Indeed, they did. For the princess took Odo Paden, the poor fisherman, back to her father’s castle. Great was the old king’s joy to see his daughter return from the briny deep, where he had considered her dead, and he showered Odo Paden with great riches, made him chancellor and blessed his marriage to his daughter. And Odo Paden, the poor fisherman, eventually became one of the greatest princes of Ellan Vannin.

  Yet people in Kirk Christ will tell this story only in hushed tones. When they put to sea, they will do their best to avoid the “rock of drowning”, even though they know that lobsters and crabs may be found nearby and that the best fish runs lie close to the rock. They will avoid the rock, for it is thought to be a gateway to the Otherworld, where the infernal powers await and are ready to scoop up the souls of any fisherman who breaks the taboo by inadvertently using the proscribed words.

  11 Poagey Liaur jeh Caillagh

  In the parish of Kirk Lonan, above Laxey Glen, there is a wood where there is a spot called Towl Creg y Vuggane – which means “the Buggane’s hole”. A buggane is a frightful creature given to playing mischievous tricks on humankind. It is said that, if you kneel by the hole and listen carefully, you will hear a strange wailing sound coming up out of the ground.

  Well, it happened long ago, before Kirk Lonan was a parish even, that Callan MacKerron died, leaving a widow and three fine young girls. Callan had been a frugal sort of man all his life and, when he passed on, he left his family well provided for. Indeed, he left them a long leather bag filled with gold coins so Iney, Callan’s widow, wanted for little. She kept the bag of coins under a hearth-stone in front of the kitchen fire.

  Not long after Callan’s death, however, there came a caillagh, an old woman, knocking on the door and begging for her supper. Iney MacKerron did not like the look of the old hag, but it was unlucky to turn a beggar away, and so she invited her into the kitchen and gave her a bowl of soup. Then she remembered she had an old shawl, patched but still wearable, which the old woman might be able to use, as the weather was growing chill. So she left the old woman in the kitchen and went to fetch the shawl.

  When she returned, the old woman was nowhere to be found and the dish of soup was growing cold on the table. Iney MacKerron gave a cry as her eye fell on the kitchen hearth, for the hearth-stone had been lifted and the space underneath was empty.

  Lonan was searched from one end to the other but there was never a sign of the old hag who had stolen the long leather bag of gold. From this day forth, poor Iney Mac-Kerron and her three daughters had to struggle to keep body and soul together. They were desperately poor and often needed the charity of their neighbours. Nevertheless, Iney determined to bring her daughters up and give them what education she could.

  Her daughters were named Calybrid, Calyphony and Cal
yvorra.

  One day Calybrid, the eldest, said to her mother: “Mother, I am all grown up now. Shame on me for being at home and doing nothing to help you or myself in life.”

  “It’s true for you,” sighed Iney MacKerron.

  “It being so,” replied Calybrid, “bake me a soddag and I will set off to seek my fortune.”

  So her mother baked the soddag, which was an oat cake.

  “Now you can have the whole,” said Iney, “without a blessing. But to have a blessing, I will have to remove a piece.”

  Calybrid decided to take the whole of the soddag without a blessing, for she felt it might be a long time before she might find food again.

  So Calybrid took her soddag and set off to seek her fortune, telling her mother and her sisters that if she was not back within a year and a day, they were to assume that she was succeeding in making her fortune.

  So off she went and the passing of time found her in the woods above Laxey Glen. There she came on a strange house and found a caillagh dwelling in it.

  “Whither are you off to?” demanded the hag.

  “To earn my way in the world,” replied Calybrid.

  “So you are looking for work?”

  “Indeed, I am.”

  “I need a maid to look after me; to wash and dress me; to clean my cottage and sweep my hearth.”

  Calybrid was delighted by the prospect.

  “There is one thing, however, that you must never do,” the hag told her. “When you clean my hearth, you must never peer up the chimney.”

  Now Calybrid thought that this was an odd request but agreed to it. It was no concern of hers why the old woman was eccentric about her chimney, but it did spark off some curiosity in her.

  Well, the next day, Calybrid rose and washed and dressed the old woman and the hag went out. Then Calybrid cleaned the cottage and swept the hearth. Now as she was doing so, she thought it would be no harm to take one quick peek up the chimney. What did she see there but her mother’s own long leather bag of gold? Calybrid reached out and took it down and then started back for home as fast as she could.

  As she hurried homewards, she passed a horse in a field and the horse called to her: “Rub me down, young girl, for I haven’t been rubbed these seven years!” But Calybrid was in such a hurry that she ignored the beast.

  Then she passed a sheep covered in a mass of wool. “Shear me, shear me, young girl, for I haven’t had my fleece trimmed these seven years!” But Calybrid was in such a hurry that she ignored the beast.

  As she hurried on she came across a goat on an ancient tether. “Change my tether, change my tether, young girl, for I haven’t had it changed these seven years.” But Calybrid was in such a hurry to return home, she ignored the beast.

  Then along the road she passed a lime-kiln. The kiln cried out: “Clean me, clean me, young girl. I haven’t been cleaned these seven years!” But Calybrid was in such a hurry to return home, she scowled at the kiln and passed by.

  Then she saw a cow, heavy with milk. “Milk me, milk me, young girl, for I haven’t been milked these seven years.” But Calybrid was in such a hurry to return home that she ignored the beast.

  By this time, Calybrid was so tired hurrying, that she saw a mill and thought she would rest there for a while. The mill cried out: “Turn me, turn me, young girl. I haven’t been turned these seven years!”

  But Calybrid, tired, went into the mill and lay down on a sack of flour and was soon fast asleep.

  Now the caillagh had returned home and found that the cottage was empty. The girl was gone. She ran to the chimney and peered up. When she saw the long leather bag had gone, she fell into a great rage and began to run in the direction Calybrid had taken.

  When she met the horse she called: “Horse of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the horse. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  On she ran until she saw the sheep. “Sheep of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the sheep. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Then the old woman met the goat: “Goat of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the goat. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  The old woman came to the lime-kiln. “Lime-kiln, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the kiln. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Then she came to the cow. “Cow, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the cow. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Finally, the old woman came to the mill. “Mill, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “She did not pass here, but is sleeping inside on a flour-sack,” replied the mill.

  The old woman lifted the latch of the mill door and took out a hazel wand and tapped the sleeping Calybrid on the shoulder. The unfortunate girl was immediately turned into stone and the old woman retrieved the long leather bag.

  A year and a day passed and Iney MacKerron’s second eldest daughter, Calyphony, said to her mother: “Calybrid is not home. She must be making a great fortune. Shame on me for sitting here doing nothing to help you or myself. Bake me a soddag, mother, and I will be off to seek my fortune.”

  Iney MacKerron baked the soddag, which is an oat cake.

  “You may have the whole and go without my blessing, or I must take a piece and give you a blessing for the journey.”

  Calyphony said that she would take the whole soddag and be off, for she did not know when she might get food again. She added that if she was not back in a year and a day, it would mean that she was doing well in life and making her fortune. Then off she went.

  After a while, she came to a wooded glen and found a strange cottage with an old woman waiting outside the door.

  “Whither are you off to, young girl?” she wheezed.

  “I am away to make my fortune.”

  “Are you looking for work?”

  “That I am.”

  “I am in need of a maid. Someone to wash and dress me, clean the cottage and sweep my hearth.”

  “That work would suit me well.”

  “There is one condition. When sweeping the hearth, you must not peer up the chimney.”

  Now Calyphony was curious about this, but she agreed to the condition. It mattered not to her whether the old woman was crazy or not.

  So the next day, Calyphony was up and washed the old woman and dressed her and the hag left the house. She cleaned the place and swept the hearth. Then she thought it would do no harm to have one peek up the chimney. What did she see there, but her mother’s own long leather bag of gold? Down she took it and was away as fast as she could run back to her home.

  As Calyphony hurried homewards she passed a horse in a field and the horse called to her: “Rub me down, young girl, for I haven’t been rubbed these seven years!”

  But Calyphony was in such a hurry that she ignored the beast. Then she passed a sheep covered in a mass of wool. “Shear me, shear me, young girl, for I haven’t had my fleece trimmed these seven years!”

  But Calyphony was in such a hurry that she ignored the beast. As she hurried on she came across a goat on an ancient tether. “Change my tether, change my tether, young girl, for I haven’t had it changed these seven years.”

  But Calyphony was in such a hurry to return home, she ignored the beast.

  Then along the road she passed a lime-kiln. The kiln cried out: “Clean me, clean me, young girl, I haven’t been cleaned these seven years.” But Calyphony was in such a hurry to return home, she scowled at the kiln and passed by.

  Then she saw a cow heavy with milk. “Milk me, milk me, young girl, for I haven’t been milked these seven years.” But Calyphony was in such a
hurry to return home that she ignored the beast.

  By this time, Calyphony was so tired that she saw a mill and thought she would rest there for a while. The mill cried out: “Turn me, turn me, young girl. I haven’t been turned these seven years!”

  But Calyphony ignored the mill. Feeling tired, she went into the mill and lay down on a sack of flour and was soon fast asleep.

  Now the old hag had returned home and found that the cottage was empty. The girl was gone. She ran to the chimney and peered up. When she saw the long leather bag had gone, she fell into a great rage and began to run in the direction Calyphony had taken.

  When she met the horse she called: “Horse of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the horse. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  On she ran until she saw the sheep. “Sheep of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the sheep. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Then the old woman met the goat: “Goat of mine, did you see a young girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the goat. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  The old woman came to the lime-kiln. “Lime-kiln, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the kiln. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Then she came to the cow. “Cow, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”

  “I did so,” agreed the cow. “She passed in that direction, not long since.”

  Finally the old woman came to the mill.

  “Mill, did you see a girl with a long leather bag pass this way?”