by Shara Azod
“I really and truly don’t know.”
“You do know.”
Chrissana’s breath came quickly and suddenly, the carriage seemed too small and the air too warm and stifling. Her body shifted from side to side, then she sat upright, moving to the edge of her seat to the point where they were even closer. The carriage fortunately stopped and the door swung open, allowing her to jump out.
“You’re just waiting for me to grow weak and accept you. Once you get what you want, you will send me back and I’ll never see you again,” she shouted.
“Is that what James Collins did to you?” Audric said with a steady tone as he stepped outside the carriage to follow her. “Or what about the incident of your best friend, Karen Jenkins, when she set you up with the boy at the dance you liked and then took him from you. You couldn’t believe how someone who was supposedly your best friend be so cruel. But you endured it with quiet, dignity, and much grace, I should say.”
Chrissana’s breath was heaving in and out as she fought to contain the tears. “That was a long time ago.”
“Yet, you never forgot. You never trusted anyone again after what she did. Then along came James Collins, whom you decided to take a chance on, even when you knew inside yourself that he wasn’t right for you. You knew he was a liar, but you took him on just to prove your point. He pulled away from you the moment you allowed yourself to feel any sort of love for him—not to mention how he began to criticize and put you down for every little thing. Then you find out that all the while he was seeing someone else. Let’s now talk about your sister.”
“Now you’re being cruel,” she said over her shoulder, walking faster to put more distance between them. She had no idea why she thought she could pull that off.
Audric was suddenly in line with her steps. “Do you think I say these things to intentionally hurt you or to merely bring your attention to something that you need to work past? To let it go.”
“No.”
“What’s that song the little kids are all singing these days? There’s some movie—”
“Don’t you dare.” Chrissana stopped and glared at him.
Audric walked up, looking down at her.
“How the kids in school made fun of you because of your love of books and fantasy, of unicorns and far away kingdoms. No, human beings were not to be trusted, and you alienated yourself, and these situations only validated what you felt. Taking care of your mother provided the perfect hideaway for you all these years.”
“Please stop,” she moaned, halting in her tracks. “My mother needed me.”
“Yes, but she didn’t need you all the time. My point is that you have stopped discerning people, but you still judge anyone who comes into your space to do you any kindness; that you believe they have an ulterior motive.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “People will wrong you.”
“Precisely, my dear, the belief that holds you back from experiencing anything of life.” Audric reached inside his mantle, producing the little vial from the night before. He pressed it to her cheek, capturing the tear. He quickly snapped the tiny lid shut and stuck it in his pocket.
“Why do you keep doing that?” She pressed her hand to her cheek.
“That’s for me. I collect them. I sometimes have a use for tears of anger, rage, despair, and sadness, along with a huge dose of self-pity. They don’t come often in one go.”
Chrissana started walking once more. She had no idea where she was going as they were still in the dark of the forest. The carriage traveled slowly next to them, providing enough light from its lanterns for her to see. Audric held his hand out to her, and she took it without thinking.
“Don’t be afraid to live, Chrissana. Yes, life will lead you to some unsavory characters, but at the same time, it will lead you to those who can enrich you. Like attracts like.”
They walked further in silence.
Chrissana felt the strength of his hand in hers, and she calmed. The full moon shone up above, the bright planets of Venus and Jupiter nearby, so close that they appeared to be one giant star. This was the one the wise men supposedly followed when seeking out the baby Jesus.
“Did you know you would run into me in the village?” Chrissana asked.
“Yes.”
“Did you know I wouldn’t board the carriages to the spa?”
“I had a thought that you wouldn’t, but with free will, one can’t be completely sure.”
“What if I had?”
“I would have probably stopped you in some way or interfered.”
Chrissana stopped suddenly and whirled around to face him, pulling her hand from his. “So, I want to know why you have such an interest in me. It isn’t just healing, is it?”
Audric looked over her head. “Do you think someone such as myself could have attractions to human beings?”
“I do. After all, they said angels found the daughters of men attractive.”
“Remember when I told you that I sometimes eat, require sleep, and so on?”
“Yes.”
“I have the same requirements in regards to intimacy.”
“But you can never have a real relationship, like get married and have children.”
“No, I cannot, but let me ask you a question. Do you even want such a relationship?”
“I don’t’ know,” Chrissana folded her arms beneath her cape. “I’d already resolved that I would probably never get married, so I just stopped hoping for it.” She then looked back up at him. “Anyway, I thought that it was forbidden for angels to interact with humans or any other type of otherworldly beings.”
Audric lifted his hand and the horses and carriage halted. “How about we take this conversation inside?”
Chrissana was taken by the shoulder and promptly lifted back inside the carriage, and Audric settled down next to her.
“Now, to address your statement, the reason there are rules in the case of otherworldly beings is that it’s mainly to keep a certain order. The problem with your angel issue is that you have two dynamics—love and lust. When you have a relationship forming out of love, you have a bond that is pure. But when you have a relationship that is taken by force because someone allows their lower extremities to rule the day, then you get problems. We immortals have a responsibility, and it isn’t to fall under the spell of the flesh. This is what happened so long ago. My advantage is that I’ve been human before.”
“So how did you come to this place?”
“The one before me was an Ancient. He brought me here in a similar fashion as to how I brought you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I was a knight, fighting in the Crusades and had been wounded in battle. The wound was fatal, and it was only a matter of time before death found me. I was in and out of consciousness, but then I suddenly found myself standing in a field.”
“Like I was.” Chrissana pointed at him. “Was Redrec at the bridge tending the flowers?”
“He was there. I don’t think he will ever give up doing that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s something he wanted to do and took over the job long before I came here. No one really knows how long he’s been at it.”
“So were there people waiting for the carriages to go to the spa?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t wish to get on?”
“I was a knight and a warrior. I thought it was a trap. I backed up just as you and right into a man who called himself Arindahl. He said almost word for word the things I told to you. And I didn’t trust him one bit. I thought he was a snake lying in wait to smite me—a demon ready to steal my soul.”
Chrissana laughed at the dramatic inflection in his voice. “So you came to stay here and have been here ever since?”
“No. I went back to my time and place, after I learned the lessons he’d given me.”
“Was it hard leaving here?”
“Not really. I was excited and couldn’t wait to share my experien
ce with my brothers. I woke up from my fever a changed man.”
“So, what happened?”
His eyebrows went up and he clicked his tongue, pausing before he spoke. “Everyone thought I was bewitched, and they promptly burned me at a stake.”
“Oh my God!” Chrissana gasped. “That’s terrible!”
“It is not a very good death,” he said.
“What did you do? I mean, what did you say that caused them to turn on you?”
“I said I didn’t want to fight anymore, and that we were all brothers, Christian and Muslim alike. I wanted to devote my life to serving the true spirit, and that we had made our idea of God into a bloodthirsty madman. That didn’t sit well since I belonged to the Knights Templar. They thought that I had an Islamic demon inside me, and the only way to deal with it was to purify myself. Especially when they saw that my wounds had been healed and I was still alive, thus proving their demon theory.”
“But if they believed in God, wouldn’t that have shown them that the healing came from him?”
Audric sighed. “Unfortunately, Chrissana, humans automatically will think the very worst before they think anything of the positive. Like, why would God come and heal a lowly knight like myself and tell me not to fight?”
“Because you were fighting on his side and he would want you well.”
He joggled his head, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “I wondered if any of them actually believed in God after that ordeal. Apparently, any display of amazing grace was automatically seen as coming from Satan, for the demon is the trickster.”
Leaning back against the cushions, he continued. “It is quite painful to be burned to death, and one of my brothers saw to it to shoot me in the heart with an arrow, killing me instantly. When I came to, I was back in the bed with Arindahl sitting next to me.”
“Didn’t he know something like that would happen? He should have warned you.”
“He knew, but he couldn’t say anything to interfere with my destiny.”
“So did you feel any different having no body?”
“Actually, Arindahl had many powers, and with those, he brought me back to life. In order to do so, he had to infuse some of his power into me, so I’m like him—half human and half something else. I can vibrate at different frequencies, which allows me to travel to different dimensions, like your world. However, when I’m in these different places, I cannot eat or drink anything there, only here.”
“What would happen?”
“Nothing bad. To put it simply, my body would reject it,” he said. “It’s not very pretty. However, other than the food and drink of this place, loving another and making love gives me the energy to sustain myself in this form.”
“So you do need to have sex?” Chrissana said flatly with a side-eye glance.
“I need more than that,” he said, lowering his voice. “I need love just like you do, Chrissana. Sex by itself does nothing for me and is a waste of energy. This is what those angels who wrongfully took women of your world found out. It creates a demon of lust and becomes a bottomless pit where it is never satisfied. Because of the rate at which they vibrate, they cannot handle such feelings as humans can. They find themselves more and more demented and perverse as time passes.”
The carriage stopped in front of the house. Rather than using the mysterious force, Audric hopped out then turned and lifted Chrissana physically to the ground.
“What was he like?” she asked.
“Who?”
“Arindahl.”
“He was tall, taller than I am, and if you thought of an angel, he would be it. Very sightly for a man, if I may say so, and he spoke very gentle of voice, not at all boisterous, like me.”
They walked through the entranceway of the house, where the scent of pine and cinnamon greeted them once again. The candles and fireplace were still going strong.
“Where is he now?” Chrissana asked.
“He evolved and left this place to me. I’d made a strong impression on him by being bold enough to try and pass on his teachings to my brothers. He taught me everything he knew at that point, and I made a vow to carry on his work in this realm.”
“Did you miss him? Weren’t you afraid of doing this at first?”
“I wasn’t afraid, and yes, I did miss him, even though we were together a good two hundred years before he left.”
Chrissana looked up at the painting above the fireplace. “So that’s an actual painting of you in your armor?”
Audric glanced up at it. “That’s me. Arindahl was a painter, and that painting was done shortly after I’d arrived. I hated it when he first showed it to me.”
“Why? You look very good in it.”
“Because, like you with your sister, I was quite angry with having been betrayed and wanted no memories of my ordeal. He left it in the library behind the door. When he evolved, his absence hit me hard. I found myself drawn to the painting, and his teaching of forgiveness fell into place. My choice to share his words and my brothers’ refusal to hear them is what brought me here. I had to make peace with that.”
Audric took Chrissana’s hand, pulling her over to the base of the stairs. “Arms around my neck,” he whispered, bending down close to her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her in his, carrying her up the stairs.
“I’m still having a hard time imagining you as a knight,” she told him.
“Why so?”
“Because you seem more comfortable with giving orders,” she said. “Like a king.”
“You flatter me. If you think how long ago that was, I have grown much. I’m not the novincial young man who was first brought here.”
“What year were you killed?”
“It was 1192. Even though we had fought and won control of Jaffa and Acre, the Christians weren’t too happy about losing control of Jerusalem. Everyone was a little testy at that point, so hearing me talk about Muslims being our brothers really set them off.”
Chrissana laughed. “I’m sorry. You make it sound so funny, but I know it wasn’t.”
“I can laugh about it now.”
Audric carried her away from the room where she had slept the night before, and instead, veered down the opposite hallway and over to another set of double doors. As were with all of them, they opened upon their approach. This room was even more spacious than hers. Opposite the bed was a stone fireplace where a fire burned brightly, and built into the floor was a marble tub filled with water.
Chrissana was set onto her feet. Her cape was removed and her muff set aside. There she stood before him, closer than they’d ever been, her body pressing against his. His finger tilted her face up to his.
“It’s the funny thing about kisses,” she said.
“And what is that?” he asked, his face leaning in closer to hers.
“I always wonder when they will happen, and what will spark them. Whenever I watch movies and there’s a couple, there’s always that hesitation and you try and guess when the exact moment will occur.”
His lips were only a few centimeters from hers when he said staccato: “Just…say…now.”
“Now.”
Chrissana was swept up into his arms where a roar filled her ears like a bunch of pipe organs going off. Her feet were off the floor and her head swam as she surrendered herself to the softness of his lips and his tongue that tangled with hers. An inner warmth arose from her core, spreading out to all of her extremities. She had no idea when it ended because her eyes were flooded with a blinding white light. The next moment she blinked, she was staring into his blue eyes and they appeared to be laughing.
“What?”
“Are you back?”
“What do you mean?”
“You fainted.”
Audric set her down, looking on as she patted her cheeks, shaking her head. “I’m definitely adding more kisses to your treatment plan,” he said.
He turned from her, removing his sash then undoing the buttons to
his coat, slipping it from his shoulders. The silk tunic underneath was then pulled over his head.
Chrissana’s eyes wandered up over the muscles of his back and when he turned back to face her, she saw the sparse hairs on his broad chest, his taut abs and well-defined arms. They were smooth and not too muscly, appearing comfortable enough to cuddle next to. Her cheeks glowed red from assessing him so, especially when he caught her looking at him. She quickly turned around and began reaching behind her for the enclosures of her dress. The interesting element was that she had no idea how to undo them.
“Allow me,” Audric said, coming up behind her.
She felt the dress slowly loosen until it slid down to pool at her ankles.
“Now, it’s my turn,” he whispered, turning her back to face him.
His hands ran down over her shoulders and arms to take up her hands which he brought up to his lips, kissing the backs of each of them. He released them to take ahold of her bra straps, then slid his fingers underneath to run up and down them. “If I know one thing, it’s that the underthings of your time are absolutely intoxicating.”
His hands then brushed over her breasts, and Chrissana forced herself to stay still as an electric jolt struck between her legs.
“Absolutely beautiful,” he whispered, lowering to his knees where he pressed his lips against her chest before moving down between her breasts as he squeezed them gently, rubbing his palms over the outside of the silken cups of her bra. He folded his arms around her waist as his face and cheek nuzzled against them.
Chrissana’s breath increased. Her fingers combed through his hair, grabbing hold of the back of his head to press his face against her. The cup of her bra was pulled down and his lips found her nipple as his other hand snaked around her back, sliding down over her silk-clad bottom. Perspiration broke out from every pore of her body, and a long moan escaped her.
Audric released her breast, his lips trailing down over her belly and onto the silk of her panties. He kissed his way across them and then pressed his lips to the seat of them, blowing his hot breath onto them. Before Chrissana could react, his teeth latched onto the waistband, pulling them down into his waiting hands. When she stepped out of them, he held them up before him.