Just a Little Faith

by Amy J. Norris

“That’s my girl.”

  The minutes seemed like hours while they waited for Pax to return to the trauma room. A nurse popped her head in the waiting area. “You can come back now.”

  Making their way down the hall, they entered the room a few seconds before Scott reappeared with an older man dressed in blue scrubs.

  “Seb, this is Dr. Kohler. He’s the neurologist assigned to Pax’s case. Dr. Kohler this is Sebastian Quinn, Pax’s boyfriend, Michael Stratford, Pax’s boss and Tori, her co-worker. Pax’s parents are on a flight and won’t be here for a few hours, so please share your news with them.”

  “Well, we’ve checked the results from the CT scan, and we don’t see any swelling in the cranial cavity, and we can’t see any signs of an intracranial bleed anywhere. It is our hope over the next few hours Pax will regain consciousness. If, over the next twenty-four hours, she does not, we’ll run another CT scan and see if there has been any change in her condition. To be on the safe side, we’re going to put her up in ICU for that period where she will be monitored constantly.”

  Ignoring the questions posed between Michael, Tori and the doctor, Seb returned to the stool at Pax’s side. His heart pounded in his chest as he smoothed his hand down her cheek desperate for a reaction. “Pax. I know you can hear me, sweetie. Open those beautiful eyes for me. Please.”

  The nurse tucked her blanket around her sides. “Mr. Quinn, I need to take her now.”

  Refusing to move from her side, the nurse urged him again. “We’re going to take good care of her.”

  He pressed his lips to her forehead and slipped his hands out from hers, immediately missing the warmth of her touch.

  “I love you, Pax. Come back to me.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  After Pax’s move into the Intensive Care Unit, her parents arrived in the ICU waiting area, the Richards not far behind.

  “Seb! What can you tell us?”

  Embracing each one of them, he motioned for them to sit down.

  “Dr. Kohler seems to think it’s only a matter of time before she will regain consciousness, but to be on the safe side he wants to keep her in the ICU.”

  Janet leaned against her husband while Brad put his arms around her. “When can we see her?”

  “The next visiting session is in fifteen minutes. They limit the number of visitors to two at a time, so you and Brad please go. I know you’re anxious to see her.”

  Tori’s gasp caused them all to look in her direction. “The cats! You know Pax will be worried sick about them when she wakes up. I’ll go check on them. I’ll call later to see how she’s doing and come back in the morning with breakfast for everyone.”

  “Thank you, Tori. You know my daughter too well.”

  “It’s nothing, Mrs. Taylor. She would do the same for me.”

  “Wait, I’ll walk out with you.” Michael motioned to Tori. “Seb, call me if there’s any change, okay?”

  “I will.”

  “Thanks. We’ll see you all in the morning.” Michael followed Tori out of the room.

  Seb noticed a small mob of people gathering outside the ICU waiting area. Excusing himself, Seb walked toward the door. Linc and Rangy led several of his teammates into the waiting area.

  “Seb. We got down here as soon as the game ended. What’s the latest on Pax?”

  Comforted by his teammates’ arrival, he introduced them to Paxson’s parents, and again detailed all the information he knew so far.

  Filling every available seat, the sound in the room heightened with additional murmured conversations.

  Linc tapped Seb on the knee. “How are you doing, man? I know this is so tough for you right now.” He motioned toward Rangy. “What can we do to help? Anything?”

  “I’m doing okay, thanks guys. I have moments where I’m fearful and angry, but then I realize those emotions won’t do Pax any good. I’m just trying to remain positive, Linc.”

  “You seem different man. In the last few days, something’s changed with you. You’re calmer or more peaceful or something.”

  Sebastian smiled at his friend. “I do. I had some moments of reflection you might say, and I decided I needed to make some changes in my life. That’s why Pax has got to get better. I need to tell her I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.”

  Linc slung his arm around Seb’s neck. “She’s going to be just fine, my friend. Just you wait and see.”

  Sebastian hoped with everything in him his friends were correct.

  ****

  The last visiting time came and went with no change in Paxson’s condition.

  Mrs. Richards placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Janet, you and Brad look exhausted. Why don’t you come on back to the house with us? No one can visit until the morning, and you’ll do better if you get some rest.”

  Seb nodded in agreement. “That’s a good idea, Janet. I’ll stay here just in case something comes up. I’ll call if you need to come back.”

  “If there is the slightest change in her condition, you call. Promise me.”

  “I promise.” Pax’s mother patted his cheek with her hand, and a tired smile crossed her features. “I’m glad you two found your way back to each other.” Giving him a kiss on the cheek, she allowed Brad to lead her out of the waiting room.

  Linc and Rangy, as well as Seb’s other friends, also decided to call it a night, promising to check in.

  Sebastian settled down in one of the waiting room recliners and thought about the past few months and the changes in his life. Back when last season ended, his biggest decision in life was which bar he would visit and what girl he would go out with. Meeting Pax at LLS changed all that. Even when he fought his anger and sadness issues after his injury and slipped back into his former way of life, he still couldn’t stop thinking about Pax. No matter what he tried to do, her face never left his mind.

  Then last night, while in his office pondering exactly what his future held, it all came to a head. The feeling of helplessness he couldn’t play ball, the pain he inflicted on Pax, and the hopelessness of knowing once again, his girls were gone wreaked havoc with this mental state. He felt his life spiraling out of control.

  Pacing around his desk, he noticed the box of baseballs in the corner of his office. A wash of memories rushed over him. He and Pax visiting the hospital and giving out all those autographed balls. The joy it brought to the children’s lives transformed their sickly faces into bright beams of light. They faced life-threatening illnesses and still had the strength to smile.

  He reflected to his time at the beach with Pax while grieving for his daughters and how she described the ocean as an example of God’s love around her. The kindness of the man he didn’t even know at the little church in San Diego who told him he was praying for his family as they went through such a terrible time replayed in his mind.

  These thoughts brought Sebastian to tears. How selfish he had been! Ever since his injury, he blocked out all the people who cared the most. Even more than that, Sebastian used his injury as an excuse to not help those who dealt with harder struggles in life than he could possibly imagine. Who was he to moan and complain over a simple knee surgery? Sure the recovery took a long time, but his life didn’t hang in the balance. Yes, his daughters had been taken from him in a tragic accident and he knew he would never fill the hole left in his heart, but he had other friends and loved ones still here.

  Sebastian looked at the corner of the desk at the book he’d left there so long ago. The same book he pushed aside so many times, hiding from its contents, choosing rather to ignore it than read it.

  He reached across the desk and feathered the pages of the Bible Pax gave him, gently pulling each one apart carefully. He didn’t even know where to start and just decided to flip through until something caught his eye. The pages fell open to a book called Ecclesiastes. He’d never heard the word before, but something about it made him stop to peruse the chapters. Beginning with chapter one he read the words of someone called “
the Preacher, the Son of David, king in Jerusalem.” Sebastian didn’t know exactly who this preacher could be, but what he read fascinated him. Seb saw himself in the description. He’d done all this man spoke of. Searching high and low, he cheered himself with wine. Built a large house and gathered for himself silver and gold and had been with many women, but what had all of this gotten him? Nothing.

  He kept reading and feeling more and more like the man in this book. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.” Seb thought about how he shut Paxson out from helping him after his injury. He shunned the one person who could have helped him the most.

  Turning page after page he came to the end. His heart cut to the quick when he read: The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

  Sebastian closed the book and stared out the window. “This book could have been written about me. I have wasted so many opportunities chasing after the wind. What a fool I have been.”

  At that moment, Seb did something he’d never done before.

  He prayed.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Waiting for dawn to break, Sebastian prayed again. He prayed that God would spare Paxson any further complications. He asked for the doctors to make the right decisions in her care. He begged that she would wake up, and no matter what happened, he would be able to deal with it.

  When morning came, Sebastian felt refreshed and amazed at what spending a night in prayer could do. He felt ready to face another day of what he hoped to be good news. As he stood up to stretch, an announcement over the loud speaker caught his attention.

  “Those with the Taylor family please come to the front desk for a phone call.”

  Sebastian hurried to the reception area. “I’m with the Taylor family…”

  The receptionist motioned to the phone on the wall near the desk. “If you will go to that phone I’ll transfer the call to you.”

  Seb picked up the phone. “This is Sebastian Quinn, I’m with the Paxson Taylor family.”

  “Yes, Mr. Quinn. This is Rachel one of the ICU nurses; Dr. Kohler wanted me to call you. He thinks Paxson is becoming alert. Come up to the ICU area, use the phone outside the door and someone will let you in to see her.”

  “Thank you, Rachel. Thank you so much. I will be up as soon as I can.”

  Replacing the handset, he left his hand on the phone. Resting his head on his outstretched arm, his heart lightened. Thank you, Lord!

  Taking his cell phone out of his pocket, he quickly called her parents. He shared the news as he made his way to ICU. Stepping off the elevator, he picked up the ICU phone when a buzz opened the door. Rushing around the corner toward Pax’s room, he met Dr. Kohler.

  “Dr. Kohler… the nurse said you’re seeing some positive signs?”

  “We are, Mr. Quinn. I think it will only be a matter of time before Paxson will regain consciousness. I thought it best to have someone familiar in the room.”

  “I won’t leave her side.”

  Entering the room, he sat in the chair next to her bed. Did her eyelids flutter? Unsure if what he was seeing could be real or just what his heart wanted, he lifted her hand and caressed it. Rubbing his fingers up and down her arm, he realized the motion soothed him as much as her.

  Sebastian remained in the same position over the next hour, continually rubbing her arm and looking for signs of consciousness. His head nodded periodically as exhaustion overwhelmed him. Resting his head on her bed, he closed his eyes and suddenly felt a twitch beneath his hand. Sitting up, he ran his fingers down Paxson’s cheek. Still, there seemed to be no change in her condition.

  Rather than sleep, he began to speak to her, telling her how he came close to giving up as the grief and sadness overwhelmed him. He told her how the box of autographed balls in the corner of his office reminded him of their visit to see the kids. He spoke of their time in San Diego, Arizona, and Florida and the joy she brought to his life and how he missed her.

  He whispered in her ear. “I opened the Bible you gave me. I knew the man in Ecclesiastes, Pax. The book could have been written about me. I too live a life of vanity. Please open your eyes, Pax. I need you more than ever.”

  He buried his face in her side and cried as he begged God to please heal her. It’s not just for me God. Pax needs to get back to her life at LLS helping others. She does so much good, dear Lord. Please strengthen her body so she can come back to me, to all of us. And if You’re willing God, give me one more chance at happiness.

  Once again, he felt a twitch under his hand. Lifting his head, a sea of tears ran down his face. Beautiful turquoise eyes looked back at him.

  “Paxson… sweetheart. You came back to me.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Pax continually tried to push through the fog surrounding her. Sounds and light came from every direction, yet seemed muffled. Was there a blanket over her head? But try as she might, she couldn’t find the edge to lift it off to see and hear clearly. Then extreme exhaustion came in waves. The desire to keep her eyes closed was so strong.

  Something weighed down the right side of her body and her left side…she couldn’t feel at all. But the pounding in her skull gave her an overwhelming feeling of nausea. Struggling to open her eyes, a figure in the chair beside her continually went in and out of focus. Feeling a hand on her arm, she attempted to move in order to get the person’s attention. Blinking slowly she tried to clear the blurriness of her vision when the person raised his head and smiled, tears falling down his face.

  It couldn’t be. Could it? Bash?

  Hearing him speak her name, her heart ached more than her body. Where was she? Why did everything seem to be blurry around the edges?

  Attempting to call out to him, the sound came out more of a whisper than a shout. “Bash…”

  Jumping out of the chair, Seb pointed a finger at her as if to say, “Wait one moment,” and left the room. Hearing him yell for someone, she thought she heard a muffled conversation coming from somewhere before he returned to her side.

  “Pax baby…. I’m so happy to see you.”

  She attempted to speak again, this time her voice a bit stronger but still not rising above a whisper. “Bash.”

  Sebastian took her hand in his. “Paxson, you were in an accident yesterday. Do you remember?”

  Paxson closed her eyes trying to force her mind to work. She had fleeting thoughts of being in a meeting with Michael and visiting Cassandra in the hospital, then a flash, albeit a brief one of talking to Sebastian on the phone. Then nothing.

  “You called me. You said you wanted to go out for coffee. I don’t remember anything beyond that. I was so happy to hear your voice. It had been so long.”

  Sebastian buried his face in her hand. “I know, Pax. I know. I have so much to tell you. I was stupid. I was so foolish in how I acted, and I wanted to apologize.”

  Paxson wished she could reach over with her hand and touch his face. “Bash, what all is wrong with me? I can’t feel my left side.”

  Sebastian rubbed his knuckles down her cheek. “Pax. It’s okay. Don’t get all worked up.”

  A doctor entered the room, a smile on his face. “Paxson. I’m Dr. Kohler and we are certainly glad to have you back with us. Sebastian has been keeping a vigil here for the last few hours. I see his presence seemed to help get you awake.”

  Sebastian continued to caress her face. Turning toward him, she smiled. Having him here must be a dream.

  “I don’t know what all Sebastian has told you, but let me give you a brief rundown of what’s going on.”

  Relieved to hear nothing seemed to be more serious than a few broken bones or fractures, she thanked God He kept her safe from what could have been a much worse outcome.

&
nbsp; “We’re going to get you moved to a private room for a couple of days and barring nothing unforeseen happening, you’ll be released. You’ll have therapy once you recover but I don’t think anything will prevent you from regaining your life as you knew it.”

  Before Dr. Kohler left, her parents arrived. Upon seeing them, Pax burst into tears, the stress and excitement of the morning finally catching up with her.

  Paxson looked around the room for Sebastian. “Where’s Bash?” Her parents also looked around the room. “I don’t know, Pax. Let me look out in the hall. He probably just wanted to give us some privacy.” Her dad squeezed her hand before he walked out of the room.

  “We were so worried when we got the call from Michael. We got here as soon as we could yesterday. Sebastian couldn’t have been more generous. He paid for our flights and our transportation to the hospital from the airport. He was as concerned about you as we were.”

  Sitting beside her, her mom rearranged her blankets. “I must admit I was surprised to hear when Tori said Seb got involved. And then to see him here when we arrived. I thought you hadn’t heard from him since his accident?”

  “That’s just it, Mom. I hadn’t until yesterday. It’s all a bit fuzzy but I remember driving downtown heading to a ballgame. I realized I couldn’t let the downward turn of our relationship keep me from doing things I enjoyed. When I got close to the stadium, he called. He apologized for the way he behaved and wanted to meet me to talk over coffee. We were going to go back to the restaurant where we had our first date. I remember being so excited, but I don’t remember anything after that. To wake up and have him here… I can’t explain it, but I still don’t know what caused him to call.” Memories of hearing Seb flashed in her mind. It didn’t make sense. He spoke of remembering their time together and how he picked up the Bible she gave him so many months ago. It was all so jumbled in her mind she squeezed her eyes closed to clear the thoughts.