STILL
BREATHING
a novel by
Rita Michaels
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, events, or locales were the product of the author’s imagination, or fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Rita Michaels
All rights reserved.
www.ritamichaels.com
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
DEDICATION
For my family who believes in me.
Table of Contents
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
1
⸙
Brianna Truman stared into space, her eyes teary. Her heart beat rapidly against her chest. It can’t be possible, she thought before drawing a long sigh and then slumped on her toilet lid. She left the water running to mar her sobs.
Instantly, like a fast forward movie, her future flashed before her eyes. She winced and shut them as if hiding from the inevitable, but all she could see was everything crumbling around her. Her life and hopes and dreams shattering with no one to help pick and put the shards back together. She thought about her goals and everything she might never achieve.
Bri raised her hand to her head and grabbed a handful of her curly brunette hair. She wanted to hurt herself for what she’d done. She wanted to scream and then wish all her fears away. She wanted—no— She needed to breathe through this.
Laughter rang in the living room.
“Yeah, right,” she heard Flo McDonald say.
“As if that wasn't enough,” Casey Graham replied in her tiny voice.
Briana slowly rose and ambled toward the wall mirror sitting above the sink. She stared at the face staring back at her and traced the tear-tracks on her face. She pitied the reflection of herself. She never called herself pretty. A pair of brown eyes, fighting for a spotlight above the sea of freckles on her face, and her thin lips, never spelled attention grabber to her, then why she?
It’s not possible, she thought, wiping her eyes. It can’t be!
“Hey, Bri,” Casey shouted. It was a nickname she had grown to love even better than her full name Briana. Bri's head jerked towards her closed toilet door. Her ears perked, listening. “What’s taking you so long?”
“In a minute,” she said and fixed her face before joining them.
“Well?” Flo said as Bri walked in looking dejected. “Were you peeing out a river? Casey chuckled. The girls' eyes fixated on her. She felt uncomfortable, which was weird. She never felt uncomfortable in the company of her two best friends. Unable to bottle up her fears any longer as it killed her on the inside, she let go.
“How possible is it?” she asked.
“How possible is what?” Flo asked, and then turned to Casey whose brow creased. Bri had excused herself to the washroom to pee. That was all the girls knew.
Bri swallowed hard. Her closed hand shook, but she managed to stretch it to no one in particular and then opened it. Casey’s eyes bulged. She glanced at Flo before reaching for the object in Bri's opened hand. She sat back in her seat. Bri walked to the nearest vacant seat and slumped into it. She expected that reaction. She’d feel shocked, too, had any of her friends been in the position she found herself.
“What’s it? Flo said, rising to join Casey in the long chair she sat on.
“A home pregnancy test,” Casey replied before feeling irritated. She held it by its end. Flo frowned her face exuding concern.
“Why are you testing for pregnancy?” Flo said before focusing on the digital pregnancy test.
Bri heard both girls draw a sharp, collective gasp. She glanced up. Tears dropped from her eyes onto her thighs.
“You are pregnant! Flo said as a matter of fact. Her mouth gaped.
“How come?” Casey asked. Both girls stared at her as if they were her parents.
“I don't know,” Bri said, feeling ashamed.
“You....” Casey started, but Flo interrupted.
“You said you hadn't seen your first period yet, and that you’re a virgin. You would remain celibate until marriage.”
“I swear I never had sex with Hunter. And, I'm yet to start my period,” she mumbled, hoping they would believe her. She didn’t want to seem like a hypocrite.
Hunter, Bri's boyfriend of less than a year, was a tall, athletic, and outgoing guy who drew Bri out of the shell she built around herself. He professed his undying love for her and promised to be her rock—even after high school.
As a sophomore, Bri had set down her maxim to neither date nor sleep with anyone, until her goals were achieved.
She aspired to be a neonatal nurse, and gleefully looked forward to graduating high school with good grades, and a college, or university scholarship award, as her mother couldn’t afford to save even a little to send her to college. She’d her eyes set on a prominent University as her first choice. She yearned to be financially independent after experiencing poverty with her mother. Now, a pregnancy test, like a magic wand, wished her dreams into a distant unknown land.
Flo glanced at the pregnancy test, again. The positive double lines on the digital adamantly remained unchanged.
“You’re sure you haven't seen your period, and you didn't have sex with anyone?” Casey asked with concern oozing in her voice. Bri cleared her throat.
“I haven't. If I had, I'd have shared my experience with you, just as you do me.”
“Let's get another test done,” Flo said with a sigh.
“I don’t have enough money to buy another kit.”
“I’ll pay for it,” Flo said, rising. “Let’s go to the dollar store nearby.”
“A dollar store? You think we'd get a better result from a dollar store kit?” Casey said.
“It works as well as others. Trust me. It works all the time. I’ve used it countless times,” Flo said.
“Bri?” Casey said. Seeking her opinion. Bri shrugged.
“I really have no choice. Anything would suffice,” she said, and then headed to her bedroom. Flo and Casey turned to each other. What the heck! Casey mouthed.
“You think she's lying to us? She said.
“I don’t know,” Flo replied and coughed out loudly, and then gestured with her eyes. Casey turned around. She hadn’t noticed Bri re-enter her living room.
“Ready?” Casey said, hoping she wasn’t caught whispering.
“I guess,” Bri said. “Let’s hope this is all a nightmare,” she croaked in a voice barely recognizable as hers. It sounded deeper from her crying.
“We hope so, too, for your sake,” Flo said, eyeing Casey. But it wasn’t the nightmare Bri wanted. It was real—As real as daylight.
2
⸙
“Okay,” Flo said over Bri's shaking shoulder. They’d returned
and retested. “Something is definitely wrong somewhere.”
“I don't get it. I really don't. I mean, you are no Mary here. How could you possibly be pregnant without having sex? I remember you saying you had phallophobia. Did you—like – experiment and….”
“Casey!” Flo said.
“I’m just trying to make sense out of this….”
“Not now.”
“When?”
“Not now,” Flo said, angry.
“We're the only ones who can figure this out for her.”
“How? In her condition? What you should be doing is consoling her,” Flo said before taking her arms off Bri who walked away and headed to her washroom.
“Don’t make me look insensitive.”
“You were insensitive,” Flo said and turned to Bri who re-emerged.
“I’ll figure this out on my own,” Bri said and sat down. “Thanks for your help.”
“You’re welcome,” they said.
“Are you going to tell your mom? Casey asked. Flo shot her an angry look.
“I don't know. Maybe.”
“What’s your plan? Are you going to abort, keep the baby, or put it up for adoption?”
“Casey!” Flo’s expression was that of a protective mother hen. Not wanting Bri to endure Casey’s word-punches anymore, she picked up her school bag. “Bri, we are leaving,” Flo said. She pulled Casey off the couch. “Call when you need me.”
Bri forced a smile on her face and watched her shut her door in the hole she dug herself into. She wiped off the drops of tears falling on her freckled face.
“I know what happened,” she said, but I’m scared to question it.”
She sighed and rose, wiped her eyes— again— and picked up her house key; the spare key her mother had given her. She glanced at her wall clock. She'd have to return before her mother finished at work.
“Don’t tell me you believe her,” Casey said to Flo as they boarded a GRT bus to their homes. They lived a street away from each other and visited quite often. Unlike Bri who lived far away from them, entertaining herself with her cell phone, and studying ahead of her teachers when not with the girls at school.
“I want to believe her, but I don't know what to think might have happened to her.”
“Sex, Flo, sex happened. Only the virgin Mary got knocked up by the holy spirit as the church made us believe. The last I checked, Bri was no Mary, and definitely isn't holy.”
“She might be….” Flo started before she was interrupted.
“Either having sex and acting a virgin, or nature’s playing a trick on her.”
Flo turned to Casey and stared at her. It was a different gaze.
“What?” Casey said, and then turned to her cup of Starbucks coffee.
“You sound… mean. What did she do to you?”
“Well, I hate liars. Hate them. I don't like anyone playing on my intelligence.”
“She could be pregnant, you know,” Flo said with empathy.
“That, I believe. But, not without doing the act. It's impossible. We don’t live in the Bible age anymore.”
“I feel sorry for her. Tomorrow is her birthday,” Flo said.
“Yikes. I guess no celebrating for her.”
3
⸙
Bri shielded her eyes with her hand from the blinding sunlight, her eyes searching the green, carpeted field for the one who stole her heart and believably knocked her up. Hunter. She spotted him grabbing one of the football players and attempting to throw him on the ground as his teammates scrambled to make a touchdown.
It wasn't the perfect place to break such unwanted news to him, she felt he needed to know. Sooner than later.
Steve spotted her first, standing beside a lonely tree in the field. He glanced at her, and then at the activity he was involved in. He seemed to struggle between going to her or continuing with the football game. Bri turned away, pretending not to have seen him. He jogged towards her, anyway.
“Hi, Bri,” he said, wiping beads of sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. Bri threw an insouciant hi to him. She didn’t want him around her. She was his crush. He was interested in her first before Hunter waltzes his way into her heart, but she didn’t fancy him despite his broad chest and chestnut brown ponytail hair.
He was a beauty, but didn't they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder? Bri shrugged. She wasn't beholding this one.
“Looking for Hunter?” he asked in his gentle voice. He raised his hand to his brow and wiped again. Bri noted the big, wet sweat mark on his T-shirt, beneath his arm and looked away.
“Yes,” Bri, said. She was getting frustrated.
“He’s on the field playing.”
“I know.”
“Want me to get him for you?” Steve asked, even though both men never saw eye to eye.
“No, thanks. I'll rather wait,” she said and focused her gaze on Hunter who saw her this time. Hunter left his teammates at once and headed towards Bri.
It wasn’t in his character to acknowledge her quickly, but with Steve looming over his girlfriend, he came charging from the end of the field. Bri could see him—like a muted TV— mouthing something like get away from her. He motioned with his hand as he approached them. Steve smirked.
“Well, I came to say happy birthday to you in advance.” He turned to look at Hunter who was close to them this time.
“Oh, thank you,” Bri said. It hadn’t dawned on her that the next day was her sixteenth birthday. “I actually forgot my birthday is tomorrow.”
“You’re welcome. Hope you won’t mind a little something from me? A birthday gift.” Before Bri could reply, Hunter's voice roared.
“Stay away from my girlfriend,” Hunter shouted and threw his T-shirt dangling in his hand over his shoulder.
“I thought you told everyone you were done with her.”
Bri’s brow creased. She turned to Steve.
“Done? With me? What are you talking about?”
“Your supposed boyfriend here has been telling everyone….”
“Get out of here before I do something drastic to you,” Hunter said, the vein in his neck jutting out as he clenched his fist. Steve stared down at him. He was a much taller guy than Hunter, who was five-six tall. Without a word to Hunter, he turned to Bri.
“I wish you more.” Bri turned to Hunter. Steve strode away.
“Is it true?”
“That Steve is a moron? Of course, it's true.”
“No. That you’re done with me?”
Hunter grabbed her hand, but she snatched it away from his grip. He smirked.
“Don’t believe everything you hear. You know he's jealous of me, and wants to have you even if it means splitting us up.” He took her hand again. This time, she let him. Quarreling with him won't get her anywhere, besides, she needed answers from him.
“Did you come to watch me practice?” he asked as they strolled towards a bus stop shade.
“Yes, “she lied. “And, there’s something I need to know.”
“What’s it?”
Bri waited until they were both seated, and then turned to him.
“I need the truth?” Bri watched as his forehead wrinkled. He took out his phone from his pocket, glanced at it, and then slide it back. He looked at her.
“About what?”
Bri sighed. She needed to brace herself for the upcoming outburst. Hunter had a penchant for anger. That was how Bri summed up his constant outburst to her, or anyone who didn’t agree with him at that point in time.
“I thought you loved me.”
“What’s this all about?” he said, frowning.
“Why did you do it to me?”
“What, Bri? Stop running in circles. I haven't got time to play.” Bri watched him. He looked genuinely pissed, but she pressed further.
“You never have time for me these days,” Bri said softly, wanting some kind of mild emotion from him.
“Maybe because am too busy doing something be
tter with my life.” Bri swallowed.
“So, it’s true you’re breaking up with me.”
He was silent. He raised his hand to his head and dropped it down again.
“I’m pregnant.”
4
⸙
He froze, shut his eyes and opened them again. Here it comes, Bri thought and braced herself.
“You are what?”
“Pregnant,” she said with a mixture of anger and sadness.
“You’ve been cheating on me, and pretending to be a virgin?” He said, his voice rising. Bri’s jaw dropped.
“Are you accusing me right now?”
“No! He yelled. I’m saying you cheated on me.” He rose, formed a fist and punched the bus shelter so hard Bri shook from the impact of his fist against it. Surprisingly, it didn’t shatter. She turned to Hunter. He was holding onto his right hand and writhing in pain.
“You fool!” he hissed. Bri’s eyes welled with tears. “I should’ve known you weren’t better than the rest of them. You tricked me.”
“How?”
“Stupid bitch.” Bri swallowed hard. She would never get used to him calling her names at every whim.
“You should take responsibility for it.”
Hunter let out a sarcastic laugh and shoved her. Bri rose.
“Don’t touch me.”
“You’re out of your mind. I can see your evil plans. If you think you could pin me down with your unborn bastard….”
“The pregnancy is yours.”
“How? When you don’t even let me touch you without receiving a boring sermon on how you’re saving yourself for the best?”
“You spiked my Coke….”
“You’re nuts.”
“And slept with me.”
“Where?”
“On your couch.”
“Get out of here. You need a psychiatric evaluation. You’ve gone crazy.” He stepped out of the bus shelter.
“I don’t want to get the police involved.”
“Go ahead. You have no proof. Crazy….”
“Don’t call me names.” He stopped, and then walked back into the shelter. He stepped close to her, she could smell his deodorant mixed with sweat.
Still Breathing Page 1