Gasoline
Page 13
“Yeah, it does. Every time I make love to her, I feel like she’s mine.” Chad thought about the morning after her attack. “I can feel her love for me.” He sighed. “Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking. No woman ever made me cum the way she can. I can feel it in my entire body, and cumming in her that night was beyond that. It was almost like she was part of me. I didn’t wanna pull out afterwards. It was so incredible. But, then she punched me and started crying.”
Trying to think of something helpful to say, Dominic gripped the steering wheel tightly. Chad was going to have a very hard time letting go. He was in too deep. “You keep losing control. You do realize you’re making it difficult for her too. She’s been trying to let you go. When she stayed with Tommy, I talked to her about you. She doesn’t want to hurt you or lose you. Giovanni can see it. He’s just trying to be understanding. If he finds out you two fucked again, he’ll never be the same again. You gotta do something.”
Chad sniffled. He couldn’t hold back his emotions in anymore. “Every time I think I found a way, memories flood my mind. I’ve known her since we were eight, you know. And we been…” He pursed his lips, knowing he needed to stop blurting things out.
“What?” Dominic chanced a look Chad’s way and saw the tears again. “You’ve been what?” He waited a few minutes. “I’m not gonna say anything. If it’s bothering you, just say it.”
Softly, Chad uttered, “We’ve been fucking for the last two years. I was begging her for it for like six years before that, though. So I guess it’s my own fault. Making love to her became like an addiction. I needed it more than I needed anything else.” He sighed. “I expected her to fall in love with me, too.”
“But she didn’t, and you gotta deal with it.”
Chad closed his eyes. “I know, but you have no idea what it was like thinking she was carrying my kid. Every day I woke up happy, hoping it would bring her back to me.” He thought about the night before. “She told me in a nice way at least.”
Chad and Crystal had been packing up after a show at Charlie’s. She pulled him aside, where no one could hear them, and she quietly told him, “I got my period.” Her expression was a cross between sadness and relief.
He tried to hide that he was upset about it and just hugged her. As soon as the vans were unpacked, he went out with Chris. Unlike usual, Chad talked to a few girls while he drank and drank. By the time they left, Chad was a mess, but he got in the backseat of Chris’ Mustang with a girl whose name he didn’t know. Chris took his girl to his bedroom, while Chad lay under a very eager girl on the couch. When she opened his pants, he didn’t stop her. Then no matter what she did, he couldn’t get hard.
Chad slumped back in the seat. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.”
“What you need is a distraction.” Dominic tapped the wheel as they waited at a red light. “I promised Tommy I’d go with him to The Dewdrop Inn Friday night.”
Chad turned and cracked up. “You’re going to a hotel with him?” He could not imagine Dominic going to what he assumed would be an orgy. Dominic was not a player like Tommy. “I wanna see pictures!”
“Wait a minute.” Dominic could see Chad had the wrong idea. “You never heard of The Dewdrop Inn?” When Chad shook his head, still laughing, he explained, “It’s a famous landmark. It opened in 1904, but in the ’70s there was a huge fire that destroyed most of the interior. It just sat there for years, until some rich kid bought it and made it into an exclusive club.”
By the time Dominic was done, Chad was staring at him, “Didn’t know you were a history buff.”
Smiling, Dominic replied, “I could bore you with all the stuff I got in my head. You should come with us. There’s hot girls, music, alcohol—perfect for you.”
Chad let out another laugh. “Really? So you bringing your girl?”
“We broke up.” Dominic stared at the car in front of him. “Things got complicated. I don’t do complicated.” He gripped the steering wheel, knowing he was understating it a lot.
His eyebrows went up. Chad was surprised. “I thought you guys were good. What happened?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
They were both silent for a long while. Chad watched the scenery while Dominic tried to forget how much he missed Noelle. Traffic was light, but they had quit early, so that made sense.
Chapter Eleven
When Chad and Dominic pulled the first table out, Dominic looked up at his childhood house. It wasn’t much, but always felt like home. His parents were in their 30s when they had him, so they were not even remotely young anymore.
He made a point to check on them a few times a week when he was home to be sure they were still able to live on their own. His father was in his mid-70s and starting to show signs of dementia. It scared him. Coming from the medical field, Dominic knew what lay ahead.
“Nice house,” Chad said as he lifted a table by himself. The house had two stories, but was narrow and in a row of connected homes. “Does your brother live nearby?”
Dominic didn’t turn. “No. He’s in Texas or something.”
Chad heard the pain in Dominic’s voice and decided not to ask anything else about it. He only knew Dominic had a brother because of his Wikipedia page. It didn’t say much else about his life before Gasoline went big, though. It was the least informative page he’d ever seen.
As soon as they walked into the living room, Dominic’s mother, Josephine, cried out, “Dominic!” She had forgotten he was coming over. After hugging and kissing her son, she turned. “Who’s your friend?” She reached up and pinched Chad’s cheek. “So cute! Like Thomas. How is he? He never visits anymore.”
Chad wasn’t sure what to do. He had not expected an elderly woman. Maybe she’s his grandma? He said, “Tommy’s working.”
“Yeah, Mom. Tom’s a businessman, remember?” Dominic frowned. She’s forgetting too? That meant he had to hire someone full-time. No way would he risk one of them getting confused, and then something happening. “Can you let Chad go so we can put these away for you?”
Josephine stepped back. “What are the tables for?”
“You said you were having your church group over this weekend.” Dominic hauled his table towards to back room. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t let me buy you a set of these. It’s no big deal.”
She followed them to the house’s large dining room. “I don’t want you spending your money on me. You work too hard for it.” She smiled at them. “Is Claire coming to the party?”
Dominic froze. How could she ask that? He held back the threatening tears. Then his heart sank even more. She thinks we’re in the past? That meant… Alzheimer’s. Oh God, no!
He got himself together quickly. “I think I’m going to have a friend start cleaning for you, Mom. You need a break.” He quickly left the room and checked the kitchen. Things were not clean, but not awful. He had to hire someone quickly.
“I’m fine, Sweetie. Maybe a bit tired lately.”
He touched her weary face. “Let me do this, Mom. For once, let me take care of you.”
She nodded, knowing the housework had become too much for her.
“Where’s Dad?”
Josephine pointed to the living room. “Where else? Asleep in his recliner.” She let out a short laugh. “All that man does is sleep.”
Panic rising again, he asked, “How long has he been sleeping?”
“Most of the day.”
Dominic hurried to his father and checked for breathing and a pulse. He really was just sleeping. His heart raced, thinking his father might be dead, and no one knew.
“Hey, son.” His father, Carlo, woke up with a start, but was glad to see his youngest. “Missed you.” He put his hand out.
Relieved, Dominic clasped his hand. “I been working. Sorry, Dad.” He kissed his father’s forehead. “I love you.”
“Love you too, kid.” He took a deep breath and went back to sleep.
Chad had no idea how to int
erpret what he was seeing and hearing. He and Dominic had become friends when Crystal lived with Tommy, but this was something he had known nothing about. He wondered if Claire was his sister or something. He swore he heard the name before, though.
“Sorry to say, but we have to get going.” Dominic kissed his mother’s cheek. “I have to get him home, Mom.”
Josephine smiled. “Send Claire my love.”
Dominic closed his eyes and swallowed the pain. Then he whispered, “Claire’s gone, remember?”
Her face saddened. “Oh yes. I’m sorry.” She palmed his face. “I forgot.”
“It’s OK. We all forget.”
Once back in the Jeep, Dominic leaned his head down on the steering wheel. How did things get so bad? He needed Claire to help him deal with this. After a few seconds, he pulled out his phone and debated calling Noelle. Then he remembered Chad was in the car.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to expose you to that.”
Chad’s eyebrows rose. “Expose me? Dude, that’s your family. I understand.” He paused, hoping he wasn’t being nosy. “Um… I think your mom needs a doctor or something. She forgot about her own party?”
“Yeah, I know.” Dominic sighed. “She’s under a doctor’s care. So’s my dad. I need to get them a live-in nurse. They’re not doing as well as they used to.”
“That happens with age.” Chad cringed at what he had thoughtlessly said. “Sorry if that was messed up.”
Dominic shook his head. “Nah, it’s true. I’ll hire someone as fast as I can. I can’t leave them in January with just their neighbor to check on them.”
He closed his eyes. Sometimes, life had a funny way of shitting on you. First Claire, then Noelle and now his parents. Who would leave him next? He sucked in a shaky breath and started the SUV.
“Dom, if you need to talk, I’ll listen.” Chad watched his frustrated expression as he drove. “I’ll keep it to myself, too.”
“Thanks, but my head is cluttered with shit. I can’t explain what I’m going through.”
It was too much all in one week. He wanted to hit something. Too bad he didn’t have a gym, like Tommy. That would mean converting… Never! He had to keep everything the way it always was. He couldn’t bear to change anything. Nothing had, in almost 15 years. Well, except for his music room. He had collected more instruments and equipment, but no other room changed much.
When they reached Chad’s place, he turned. “Call me if you need me.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
Dominic sighed and waited until Chad had started towards his door to pull away. His mind worked overtime churning out possible outcomes to all the chaos in his life. When it threatened to boil over, he parked the car and pulled his phone from his pocket again.
He brought up Noelle’s number and texted:
I’m having a really bad day. Can we talk? Please?
She had been there for him before, but he wasn’t so sure she wanted to be there for him anymore. He waited for a few minutes and got no response. Then he sent another:
Please. I need you.
He punched the dashboard and screamed in frustration, “Why the fuck is she doing this to me??” He tossed the phone on the passenger seat and slammed the car into gear, taking off fast.
Noelle stared at her phone. She could feel he did need her. Her eyes closed. It’ll never work. She had let him go to spare his feelings. Committing was not possible for her. Not after what Stephen had done. She promised she would never be hurt like that again.
In the rear lounge, alone for a change, she sighed. They were on their way to Columbus, Ohio. Most of the crew were eating dinner. Her stomach was turning with worry. No matter what her head said, her heart reached out to Dominic.
Mitchell sat next to her. “What’s up? You look upset.”
“He texted me again.” She put her phone in her lap. “Why can’t he give up?”
Resisting the urge to put an arm around her, Mitchell shrugged. “You told him it was over, right?”
“No.” She slumped her shoulders. “I can’t.”
“Ignoring him is so not like you.” He was surprised. “Just tell him you don’t like him that way.” He hoped she didn’t. Dominic would be difficult competition.
Her bottom lip quivered. “But… But… I do.” She swallowed, not wanting to cry. “He makes me feel… Well, like I’m alive again. But… But…”
Mitchell pulled her into his arms. “It doesn’t matter. Forget about him. I’m right here.” He smirked, glad he found the opportunity to console her.
Dominic’s apartment felt emptier than ever. He paced the living room. Noelle had not answered, and he felt like he was about to explode.
“Claire!” he cried out.
For a moment, he thought about calling Tommy, but it wasn’t fair to constantly burden him. Throwing his hands up, he ran down the hall to his bedroom. The bed loomed before him. The bed he and… and…
“Fuck! Why can’t I let them go?”
His head was spinning as he walked back through the house. Then he tripped and fell into Annabeth’s door. He grabbed the knob to stop his fall, and the door opened. Her things stared at him like a nightmare. Tears began to fall.
He sat on the floor in Annabeth’s room, bawling his eyes out. Memories flashed before him. Her birth. Her first smile. Her crawling to him on that very floor. Then came the awful ones. The screams. The crying. The sudden silence. Then coming home to an empty house… Alone.
Pulling his phone out, he took in a shaky breath and texted Noelle.
I need you. Please Noelle, call. It’s important. I need you.
He stayed there crying… mourning. Fifteen years… She was just a baby. Never got a chance to have a life. He would never scare boyfriends away or walk her down the aisle. The emptiness was pure agony.
His beeping phone jarred him out of his misery. He sniffled and took it from his pocket. There was a text from Noelle.
Have a show tonight. I’ll text you later.
Noelle stood backstage of the arena. The opening band was just about done, and they would hit the stage soon after. Dominic had never sent her a message like that before. Something was terribly wrong, and she couldn’t let him go through it alone.
“Ready?” Mitchell came up beside her. When she only nodded, he took a good look at her. She looked upset again. “What’s wrong?” He touched her cheek.
She pulled away. “Don’t.” He liked to be tender with her, but that would never make her into him. “It’s Dominic.”
“Miss him?”
“Yeah, but that’s not it.” She closed her eyes, wanting to control her emotions. Something told her he was hurting bad at that moment. “He texted me.”
Mitchell shrugged. “He texted you a hundred times. What’s so different about this one?”
She handed him her phone. He had read all the others, but this one was different. “Something’s wrong, if he’s asking like this.” He felt guilty he encouraged her to blow him off earlier.
“Exactly.” She looked at her boots. Maybe he broke up with Gina and feels bad for her. “I need to call him.”
Derek, one of their few roadies, walked up to them. “Let’s go.”
Neither of them had noticed the stage was clear. “Be right there,” Noelle replied. She used her phone to check her makeup and fixed a tiny smudge. Waterproof eye makeup came in handy.
When she belted out the first line to “Take Me Away,” she let her worry go. The crowd cheering took her to a higher level, a place where nothing else mattered.
As soon as their set was over though, she rushed backstage to get her phone from the dressing room. Then she locked herself in a stall in the main bathroom a few doors away. When she glanced around, she realized that was a nasty idea. It was filthy. She stepped out and almost bumped into Evan of Hell Hounds.
“Sorry.” She had forgotten there was only one large bathroom on that site. Being the only female she knew of on the tour, she had to deal with it.
She struggled to get away. “No, thank you.”
“What’s wrong?” Evan didn’t get why she wasn’t all over him. “Didn’t you get back here to see us?”
She slapped him across the face with all her might. “I’m Noelle Young, you ass.”
“Oh, shit.” He let her go and touched his stinging cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
She huffed and left the room, running right into Mitchell.
“Did you call him?”
The music from the stage made it hard to hear. She shouted, “No! Need somewhere quiet.”
“How about the bus?” He gave her his arm. “I’ll walk with you, so no one bothers you.”
She had to be careful when walking amongst male fans. More than once, she had been unable to get out of their strong holds. The groping wasn’t as bad as the whispered intentions. Several young men sounded like they would really kidnap her. Mitchell was quite disturbed after the last fan hauled her over the barrier right under security’s nose. If he hadn’t heard her scream, she might never have been seen again.
They walked together to the bus, several people taking their picture. Rumors of them being a couple had floated around the entire tour. He loved it, but she didn’t. He let her go in first and quickly followed. There was moaning coming from the back room, but the front was clear.
“I’ll stay in case it’s real bad, OK?”
She nodded, glad for the support. She looked at the phone’s screen, no calls or messages. Debating on whether to call or text Dominic took maybe a minute. She found his name in her contacts and called. It went straight to voicemail. She tried several times, not leaving a message.
“He’s not answering.” She struggled to breathe. “Oh, God. What if… What if something happened… Mitch, what would I do?”