Gasoline

by Bella Jeanisse

  You never called me back. I wanted to be there for you.

  About 50 miles to the east, Dominic lay in his bunk, unable to sleep. They had left Jon’s place at about seven in the morning. The rest of the band was sound asleep. Thankfully, they had brought both buses, so there was quiet except for Jon’s snoring. He debated whether he’d be more comfortable in the bedroom, but it wasn’t empty. That didn’t matter. It wouldn’t help him sleep anyway.

  Then his phone chimed. He strained to see the screen. His vision had blurred from exhaustion. He had not slept at all since leaving Tommy’s house hours ago. After blinking a few times, he turned the bunk’s dome light on and slid a finger over the screen to unlock it. The message was a shock. Noelle? He quickly answered.

  You didn’t call. I waited all night.

  After he hit “send,” he regretted it. She had no idea how hard that night was for him.

  I did, but it went right to voicemail.

  Dominic stared at her reply, starting to piece things together. It was all just a misunderstanding. How could he give up so easily? Fear, that’s why. He quickly responded.

  My phone died. I’m sorry. I should have called you when I charged it.

  He smiled, thinking the trip was not going to be torture after all. He waited eagerly for her next message. His smile widened and his cock stirred. She was all he wanted since Michigan. Even Heather didn’t fill the void. Oh, shit, Heather! He had no idea if Noelle would consider her an obstacle, too. They had only gone on one actual date and never had sex, so he didn’t consider her much of anything to him yet.

  That night, it sounded like something awful happened. What made you text me?

  Dominic didn’t want her to know why.

  Forget it. I got over it.

  He closed his eyes, hoping she let it go. When there was no reply for five minutes, he thought he pissed her off. Then he started typing again.

  He tapped in,

  I’m sorry. Just hard to talk about. Can we

  The phone rang, and her name came up, interrupting his message. After exhaling loudly, he answered. “Hello?”

  She smiled, glad to hear his voice. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.” His stupid grin would have told Tommy exactly who it was. Quietly, he added, “I broke up with her.” The sudden intake of breath had him wondering what her expression was like. “We’re done. I promise.”

  Noelle closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh of relief. She thought he would never do it. “Did she cry? Is that why you needed me?”

  “No.”

  His short, strong answer shocked her. “Then what happened? You’ve never told me you needed me before. Is it about… Is it what you were thinking that night we slept in your bunk?” She knew it was something she had to know about. It had to be important. He didn’t say anything. “Dominic, did she do something to you?”

  Dominic was shaking. Flashes of that night came to him quickly. Then came the inevitable, tears and pain. The crash played before his eyes, at least how he thought it played out. His memory was more than full of holes. He could only recall right before the first hit, then glimpses before he awoke in the hospital to Tommy crying on his shoulder.

  “Dominic? You still there?” Noelle was becoming concerned. She heard his quick breathing. Then she heard him sniffle. “I’m here for you, baby.”

  He nodded. Then he realized she was only on the phone. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, revealing his emotional state. “I wish I could hold you.” He took in a shaky breath. “You know how to make it better.”

  I do? She didn’t realize that. “I wish that, too.” Tears started to fall down her own cheeks. She heard the pain in his voice. “When I see you, I’m gonna hold you. You can cry if you need to.” Trying to keep from all-out bawling, she shut her eyes and imagined she was in his arms. “I’ll always be there when you need me from now on. Even if you just need to lean on me. OK?”

  His breath caught. Does that mean she’ll finally be with me? Be my girlfriend? “Um, are you saying… the obstacles don’t matter anymore?”

  “Truthfully, I don’t know what I mean. We’ll talk about it in Boston.” She yawned. Sleep was rare since Michigan. Only on the nights Mitchell had held her had she slept all night. Using him for comfort had broken his fragile heart. She could never do that to him again. “Get some sleep. I can hear how tired you are in your voice.”

  He nodded forgetting again. “Yeah, I am. You do the same.” He paused. “Noelle?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m glad you called. G’night.”

  “ ’Night. Sweet dreams.”

  I wish. “You too.” Dominic ended the call and curled up with his pillow. He easily fell into a sound sleep.

  “You OK down there?” Mitchell quietly called to Noelle as he hung his hand towards her. He heard most of the conversation, but didn’t want to read into it. He could hear her crying, though.

  Noelle looked up and grasped his fingers. “Yeah.” She wished Dominic were there to hold her and tell her he was ready to commit.

  Mitchell dropped down to the floor, knowing she was hiding something. He opened her curtain fully. “Do you need me?” He would hold her, even if she pretended he was Dominic. “I promise I won’t read into it again.” He could see the tears still falling.

  She nodded, needing a friend. When he crawled into bed with her, she let out what she had been holding back, weeks of anxiety and worry.

  “I’m here. It’s OK.” Mitchell hugged her to him and ran his fingers through her hair. He kissed the top of her head. “Just cry, baby. I won’t let go.”

  Her body shook until suddenly her breathing slowed. She had fallen asleep in his arms again. He closed his eyes and let himself feel every inch of her body against his. Somehow, he had to make her see he was better for her than Dominic.

  Hours later, Gasoline’s bus jarring to a stop woke Dominic from his first good dream in a very long time. He drowsily looked around, not seeing much. The bus turned and he braced himself. He hoped they were just stopping for gas. His body was still weary.

  “Hey, you awake yet?”

  Tommy leaned down and opened Dominic’s curtain. He and Jon had been playing video games when the bus pulled into the Bank of America Pavilion’s back lot. They had played at the amphitheater in May for the contest Triple Threat won. It was fun playing outdoors.

  “Dom,” Tommy called to him again.

  Blinking to clear his vision, Dominic stared at him. “Huh?” The dream of Noelle in his bed was still fading. “You say something?”

  “You slept. That’s great.” Tommy grinned. “What helped?” He knew Dominic had had many sleepless nights lately.

  “She called.”

  Tommy patted Dominic’s arm. “Told you. I knew she wasn’t done with you. Lucky bastard.”

  “Quiet,” Dean whined. “Sleeping over here.”

  With a wink, Tommy turned and shoved Dean’s curtain open. His bunk was across from Dominic’s. “Too bad. Time to get your lazy ass up.” He banged on the small wall that separated the bunks from the hall closet. “We’re at the arena. We got interviews, fans to meet and a whole bunch of shit to do.”

  Dean put his pillow over his face. “You got shit to do. I got sleep to catch up on.”

  “No one told you to stay out all night,” Dominic reminded him as Dean climbed from his bed. “I got even less sleep than you, and I ain’t bitching like a chick.” He chuckled as he headed to the bathroom.

  After a shower, Dominic felt more awake. He sorted through his clothes, wanting to impress Noelle. He had only brought a few things. Tommy was more of the dress-to-impress type. He wore nice clothes only when he had to. Shrugging, he threw on a Led Zeppelin T-shirt and form-fitting jeans. She always said he had a nice ass. Best to try to show it off.

  He noticed the silence and looked around. The bus seemed to be empty. Even the other three members of Dean’s band Raining Black had cleared out of the bedroom. Those guys
were normally as lazy as Dean. They probably were getting in some practice time, since Dean had been busy the last few weeks.

  Jon had left to make sure Metal Fuckers in Hell showed and were sober. That had become a slight problem. Jon did not put up with drug abuse or slacking off with bands he signed. Demonfire had another band there that weekend as well, House of Insanity. Jon worked a lot during shows.

  Tommy was missing as well, which was normal. He did a lot more than he should as well. They really should hire another manager, or at least an events coordinator. However, Jon and Tommy enjoyed doing it all. They asked for Dominic’s help at times, but always seemed to have everything under control. Tommy was most likely flirting with every woman in the entire building as he checked to see that everyone was happy.

  The Michigan show suddenly came to mind. Dean’s odd behavior was worse than ever that night. Maybe we should drug-test him, just in case. The last thing they needed was him being high nightly again. He had seemed to be on something that night, but there was no proof.

  Pushing thoughts of his bandmates aside, Dominic grabbed his phone and texted Noelle.

  You get here yet?

  Seconds later, she replied.

  Just pulled into the lot. Give me a few to shower and change. I’ll come to you, unless you’re busy.

  He smiled.

  I’m not busy. Alone on the bus. ;)

  Noelle grinned. Then she tried to turn over in her bunk and realized she couldn’t. Mitchell was still asleep, holding her. Guilt consumed her. She had to stop letting him comfort her.

  “I have to get up.” She nudged him with her elbow.

  Instead of moving away from her, he held her tighter and ground his stiff cock into her ass cheek. “Gonna fuck you so hard you forget about him,” he whispered into her ear, dry-humping her ass. “Noelle… your pussy’s so…”

  She elbowed him hard. “Wake up!”

  He jerked awake, breathing hard on her neck. “Ow! What the hell?”

  “You were trying to fuck me with my clothes on,” she growled quietly. “Get off me.”

  “Sorry.” He pulled back and promptly fell out of her bunk, to the floor. Laughter ensued.

  Emilio stood in the hallway, almost doubled over. “Dude, when will you ever learn she won’t fuck you? Did she kick you in the balls again?”

  Noelle peeked out to see Mitchell red with embarrassment. “No!” he shouted. “Fuck you.” He stood and hauled ass into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

  She climbed out as well and glanced at Emilio. “Leave him alone. He wasn’t coming on to me.” She went to the tiny closet and yanked out her bag. Everything on that bus seemed to be miniscule.

  Mitchell opened the door just as she was about to knock. “It’s all yours.” He stepped aside and let her in. “Can we talk later though?”

  With a smile, she replied, “Yes.” She cupped his face in a dainty hand. “Ignore him. He’s just being a dick. If you don’t show him it hurts, he’ll stop.”

  After nodding, Mitchell climbed back in his bed. He punched his pillow several times and gritted his teeth. “What’s he got I don’t?” The words mumbled, so no one else could hear.

  Placing her bag on the toilet, Noelle rummaged through it. There was nowhere to dress but the bathroom. With only six bunks and a small rear lounge, to say that the band and small crew were cramped was an understatement. She hoped their next album sold well so they could get something with enough room to breathe. A few hours on Gasoline’s custom bus would be wonderful.

  Dominic paced, unsure what to say to Noelle. His cock tried to tell him to just fuck her. It was hard as a rock and making it difficult to think. No way was he going to start out with seducing her. They needed to set things straight and figure out what type of relationship they could both handle.

  After what felt like hours later, there was a knock on the bus door. Dominic rushed to the front and carefully looked outside. He was relieved it was Noelle and not another groupie who had gotten past security. Quickly, he opened the door. She was dressed in tight jeans and a low-cut tank top. Damn!

  “Hi,” he said, sounding very unsure of himself. “Come in.” He swept his hand towards the interior. When she got to the top step, they stared at each other. “How you been?”

  She looked down, feeling guilty, then met his eyes. “OK, I guess.”

  “Better than me,” he admitted, then closed the door and locked it.

  She walked a few feet, and then hesitated. “Um, where’re we gonna talk?”

  “Here’s fine.” He sat on the leather couch they played video games on. “Sit.” He pat the spot right next to him. “I won’t bite… hard.”

  Noelle laughed. “Funny guy.” She smiled. He had broken the tension, which she appreciated.

  With a smile of his own, Dominic watched her relax and get comfortable. “Where do we start?”

  “Do you wanna talk about why you texted me that night?”

  His eyes opened wide, while his body stiffened. That was not the subject he meant. His fingers gripped his shaking knees. Claire could not come between them.

  “I’m so sorry.” Noelle felt horrible. He looked like he was about to scream. She touched his arm and he flinched. Thankfully, she knew what to do. “It’s OK.” She slowly climbed onto his lap, moving his hands to her hips. “I’m here this time.” She hugged him and laid her head on his. “I won’t ask again. I’m sorry.”

  She wished she could read his mind. No longer was she afraid of why he withdrew like that. She just wanted to help him let it go. When his arms tightened around her, she rocked slightly, taking him with her.

  “You know I won’t judge you. If it’s that painful, cry. I can handle it.”

  He took in a ragged breath, wanting to bury the pain again. However, her invitation had him off his game. After another shaky intake of air, he whispered, “You’re so much like her.” He shut his eyes and memories assaulted him. Tears were already falling. Without realizing it, he mumbled, “It hurts so much. I can’t let them go.”

  “It’s OK,” she repeated. She cried as silently as possible. Not knowing who he was talking about, she wasn’t sure what to say. “I—I wish I had been there for you.” She squeezed him tightly.

  When Dominic sagged against her, she wanted to ask if he was all right. Instead, she waited. He took several deep breaths, and then nuzzled her neck with his nose.

  “Thanks.” His voice was unsteady and soft. “It was a bad night.”

  She kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I made it worse.”

  “It’s over now.” He sat up straighter and moved her face so he could see her eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”

  She sighed, wanting to know more, but she relented. “Sure.” Staying put, she ran a hand down his shirt. “I know you broke up with Gina, but has there been anyone else since?’

  Dominic’s heart skipped a beat. Why did she ask? He couldn’t lie. “Kinda.”

  “You fucked someone?” Her voice rose involuntarily. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair. We’re not a couple.”

  He smiled. “I never said I fucked anyone. I haven’t. I meant, I went on a date. One date.” He stared at her for a few seconds. “She can’t make me feel like you do.” His lips pressed against hers in a tender yet powerful kiss. “No one can.” He breathed deeply a few times. “Have you been with anyone?”

  She stiffened, not wanting to admit what happened when she was drunk and pining for him. “I guess you could say that.”

  Dominic didn’t react outwardly, but it crushed him. She claimed she didn’t sleep around, yet she fucked some guy. There was no way she got to know anyone that well so quickly. Had she changed since they last saw each other?

  “I didn’t fuck him either,” she whispered, knowing his silence meant he thought she did. It’s not a complete lie… one thrust doesn’t count, does it? Nah. “I just thought you should know.”

  Relief washed over Dominic. “Are you still seeing him?”

&
nbsp; “No.”

  His eyes closed. “Good.” He paused, unsure how to word what he was thinking. “Does this mean we can start dating or something?” He wove his fingers in her hair. “We can make it work.”

  She wanted that badly, much more than she would admit. The distance still got to her. Then there was the fact that she was on tour. What time would they have? There was also Mitchell. Although she did not feel the same about him, she turned to him way too much.

  “Something…” She agreed with that. What, she wasn’t sure of, though.

  “Are you still worried about when we’ll see each other?” He kissed her lips softly several times.

  He was distracting her with kisses. She lost her train of thought. Then he flipped her onto her back and lay on top of her. He sucked on her lower lip, then caressed her tongue with his. She felt his engorged cock pressing into her thigh. Their mouths met again and again while she became lost in the passion. Then his hand crept under her top.

  “Wait. Not yet.” She looked into his eyes when he lifted his head. His smile pulled at her heartstrings. “I’m not ready for a commitment.” She sighed. “I don’t think you are either.”

  With an ache building, Dominic didn’t know what to say. She was partly right, but he wanted to try. Her being there made things better somehow. She hadn’t pushed him off of her. Did that mean she wanted sex?

  “So what are you ready for?” he softly asked.

  She closed her eyes, and then grinned. “Sex. I want to be the only one you fuck.”

  His mouth dropped. Huh? How is that not a commitment? “So we can see other people, but no sex? That makes no sense.”

  “When you say it like that…” She didn’t think of it that way. “I guess that’s… well, complicated.” She ran a hand through his hair. “How about we stay fuck-buddies for now. My life is such a mess. I can’t give you much more yet.”