Renovations (By Design Book 6)

by J. A. Armstrong

  Candace covered her mouth to hold back a burst of laughter. “I wish you could see him,” she whispered into the phone to Marianne.

  “Why?” Marianne asked. “What’s he doing?”

  “Making Jameson sweat,” Candace replied.

  “Spence?” Jameson urged her grandson.

  Spencer wrinkled his nose and squinted at Jameson for another moment before turning to the boy beside him. “Coop,” he said. Cooper looked up from his scribbling at Spencer. “Jay Jay will help. I be back,” he assured Cooper. Then he turned back to Jameson. “Don’t fo-get, Jay Jay—the woof.”

  “Got it. I promise to supervise the roof,” Jameson told Spencer with a mock salute.

  Spencer nodded and headed off to his Nana. Jameson let out a sigh. “Boy, he’s tough,” she mused aloud. Jameson watched as Spencer reached Candace and then she looked at Cooper. “That’s a nice house,” she complimented him. Jameson was moderately impressed by the four-year-old’s drawing. She could make out a lopsided square in the center of the paper with a number of longer, equally skewed rectangles within it. She imagined those represented windows. “You have a lot of windows in your house,” she observed absently. Cooper kept his eyes on the paper and shrugged.

  Jameson watched Cooper closely. He seemed to be concentrating on his assigned project with determination. Jameson found herself smiling at the way Cooper licked his lips as he drew another rectangle. He pressed the pencil firmly into the paper, trying with all he had to make his mark perfectly. “Can I help you with the roof?” Jameson asked.

  Cooper finished the line he was drawing and slowly looked up to meet Jameson’s gaze. She was immediately struck by the warm, brown eyes that seemed to implore her silently for help—or was it for her approval she wondered. Jameson smiled warmly at the little boy looking at her. She found herself wondering how such a precious gift could be taken for granted. Cooper was adorable, the kind of toddler that people stopped to smile at. His tight brown curls were cropped closely to his head and his light brown skin brought out the slight glimmer of gold in his eyes. Jameson studied his eyes as he considered her. Somehow, Jameson understood that she was as much a puzzle to him as he was to her.

  “I promised Spence I would help you,” she told Cooper. “Would you like me to help you, Cooper?” she asked. Cooper nodded. “Okay. Can you show me where you think the roof should go?” Jameson asked him. Cooper nodded again and placed the tip of his pencil where he thought they should begin. Jameson smiled. “I think that would be perfect.”

  Candace watched Jameson while she listened to Spencer prattling to his mother about his new friend. Jameson was whispering to Cooper. Every so often, Cooper would look at Jameson and study her. Just as Jameson turned to try and capture the toddler’s gaze, Cooper would look back at the paper on the desk.

  “She’s good with him,” a voice came up beside Candace.

  Candace smiled. The fact that Jameson had found common ground with Cooper did not surprise her. Jameson rarely gave herself enough credit in Candace’s opinion. Jameson constantly praised Candace for Candace’s ability to connect with people. While Jameson’s approach differed from Candace’s, Candace had always admired her wife’s ability to make people feel at ease. She understood that it was Jameson’s down-to-earth manner along with her willingness to be silly that had attracted Spencer early on. He adored Jameson. And, watching Jameson with Cooper, Candace was reminded of why she loved her wife so deeply.

  “What has he said?” Candace asked the social worker.

  “Very little,” she replied. “He will ask for what he needs. The most I’ve seen him talk has been to you.”

  “To me?” Candace turned to the woman in complete shock.

  “Yes. That surprises you?”

  Candace looked back over at Cooper. “I wonder why.”

  The social worker smiled watching Candace. “He trusts you, Governor.”

  “I’m not sure why,” Candace said honestly.

  “Perhaps it’s because you came back,” the woman offered. Candace turned again and the woman smiled. “He’s used to people leaving if I had to guess. He’s seen people come and go—new places. He doesn’t see people come back.”

  Candace sighed heavily. “Any luck on a foster home?”

  “No. Not yet. I’ve made some calls. It’s not easy.”

  “I know,” Candace replied. “I’m sure you have your restrictions. I was just curious. Do you think we could take him for an ice cream or something? I know there are a few places nearby.”

  The social worker nodded. “I think we can trust you to return him safely. We can, can’t we, Governor Reid?”

  Candace’s reply was interrupted by Spencer placing her cell phone back in her hand and scurrying off to Jameson.

  “He certainly has a lot of energy,” the social worker observed.

  Candace laughed. “He definitely keeps us on our toes.”

  “I’ll bet. You let me know when you are ready to go. You will need to sign Cooper out.”

  Candace nodded. “Ms. Ross?” she called after the social worker.

  “Yes?”

  “There weren’t any signs of….”

  “Abuse? No,” Ms. Ross replied. “Thankfully, I don’t think he has endured any physical abuse. What he’s seen? That I cannot tell you.”

  “I wish ice cream could fix that,” Candace said.

  “So do I,” Ms. Ross agreed. “Maybe not a fix, but maybe just what he needs right now.”

  Candace offered the woman a sad smile and a nod. “If only that were enough,” she thought.

  ***

  Candace was restless. Jameson felt Candace shifting in the bed. It wasn’t unusual for Candace to be preoccupied with thoughts that lingered from her day. What was unusual was Candace’s nervous energy. Jameson had experienced it the night before the inauguration. The only other time that Jameson could recall Candace being fidgety was the night that Candace had brought Jameson home from the hospital. It was the first time Jameson had slept beside her wife. Jameson reached over and pulled Candace close. She kissed Candace on the temple softly just as she had that first night in the farmhouse.

  “Want to talk about it?” Jameson asked.

  Candace placed her hands over Jameson’s arms as they held her, relaxing slightly at the feel of Jameson close.

  “Thinking about Cooper?” Jameson guessed. She felt Candace release a heavy sigh. “I know, I hated leaving him there too,” Jameson admitted.

  “I’m not sure I will ever understand it. Logically, I understand it. I just…”

  “I know. I don’t understand it either. Why is it so hard to find someplace for him?” Jameson asked rhetorically.

  Candace sighed again. “I just hope they find him someplace where he can stay for a while. Too much uncertainty for a little boy.”

  Jameson placed another kiss on Candace’s head. “He liked that ice cream,” Jameson chuckled.

  Candace smiled. “Yes, he did. Thank you, Jameson.”

  “Thank me? Thank me for what?”

  “For taking me to see him.”

  “You’re welcome. It will work out, Candace.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Well, I believe it,” Jameson said.

  Candace turned in Jameson’s arms and smiled. “Ever the optimist.”

  “No, I just have learned that those fortune cookies are usually right.”

  “We didn’t have fortune cookies,” Candace said. Jameson grinned. “You found my stash, didn’t you?”

  “Maybe,” Jameson said.

  “You went snooping for my fortune cookies?” Candace tried not to laugh. Jameson was a big kid at times. At Christmas, Candace had caught her snooping in the attic. She also understood Jameson did it as a means of keeping Candace on her toes.

  “You know for a woman who has to keep secrets, you really should be better at hiding things,” Jameson teased her wife. Maybe Spencer could give you lessons. He’s a master.”

  Candace w
hacked Jameson playfully in the stomach. “Uh-huh. So? What did this fortune of yours say?”

  Jameson answered Candace’s question with a kiss.

  “You’re not going to tell me?” Candace asked. Jameson smiled. “You didn’t find those cookies at all, did you?”

  Jameson wiggled her eyebrows. “I guess that will be my secret.”

  Candace rolled her eyes. “You are a complete lunatic.”

  “It helps sometimes,” Jameson replied.

  “Lunacy?”

  “Um-hum. It’s an excellent defense.”

  Candace laughed and shook her head. Jameson always seemed to know what Candace needed whether it was some levity or making love. “Certifiable.”

  Jameson winked and kissed Candace’s lips. “It thought that was a prerequisite for admission to this family.”

  “It might just be,” Candace agreed. “Although, cuteness helps.”

  “You think I’m certifiably cute?” Jameson asked playfully.

  Candace chuckled softly. “It works.”

  Jameson held Candace in her arms and let out a contented sigh. For the moment, Candace’s roaming thoughts had stilled. Jameson closed her eyes, listening for the tell-tale signs that Candace had fallen asleep. She looked down at Candace’s resting form and smiled deviously. “I knew she was hiding those cookies.”

  ***

  Monday arrived much too soon for Candace’s liking. She sat behind her desk reviewing updates on everything from an expected snow storm to the dwindling demonstrations in Brooklyn. She heard the door open. “Come in, Shell.”

  “How did you know it was me?”

  “I just knew,” Candace said as she lifted her gaze from the paper. Michelle smiled sheepishly. Candace removed her glasses and regarded her daughter silently for a moment.

  “If this is a bad time,” Michelle began, still standing in the doorway.

  Candace shook her head. “Are you here for the governor or for your mom?” Candace asked. She watched as Michelle’s eyes lowered to the floor. “Close the door,” Candace instructed her daughter. She rose from her chair and made her way toward the sofa a few feet away. “Well?” she called over to Michelle. “Last I knew, I did not bite.”

  Michelle cautiously sat beside Candace on the sofa, but she would not meet her mother’s gaze.

  “Shell?”

  “I’m sorry,” Michelle said. “I was out of line on Friday.”

  “Yes, you were,” Candace agreed. Michelle looked up regretfully. Candace smiled at her. “Somehow, I think we both know that will not be the last time.”

  “Mom…”

  Candace held up her hand. “Shell, I heard all of your points. I just didn’t agree.”

  “I know. I’m sorry that I accused you of not caring what anyone thinks.”

  Candace nodded. “Is that what you honestly believe?”

  “No,” Michelle confessed. “I know you care. I just wish sometimes you would say that.”

  “Michelle, I don’t have time to placate everyone’s insecurities in this office—not even yours,” Candace said honestly.

  “I know that too.”

  “Want to tell me why you are so on edge lately?” Candace asked.

  “I’m not on edge,” Michelle replied. Candace lifted her brow. “Okay, well, maybe I am a little on edge.”

  “Is it the job or something else?” Candace inquired. Michelle groaned. “Shell? This is me now, okay?”

  “It’s Mel.”

  “You two having problems?”

  “Not exactly,” Michelle said softly.

  “Care to enlighten me?”

  “She thinks we should buy a house.”

  “And, you don’t?” Candace pried gently.

  “She also thinks we should get married.”

  “That isn’t exactly a revelation,” Candace reminded Michelle. “Shell, is there some reason you don’t want to marry Melanie?”

  “No, I do—just not right now. I want to know where I am going to be first. And, Mom…Why do we need a house? What if my career takes me somewhere else? That’s not fair to her.”

  “Should I warn Bill to expect your resignation sometime soon?” Candace asked.

  “You know what I mean,” Michelle challenged her mother.

  Candace did know what Michelle was referring to. “Shell, no one can predict the future—trust me on that. You don’t know what lies on the other side of this second.”

  “Exactly!” Michelle said.

  Candace snickered. “What makes you think that Melanie would not make a move if it ever came to that?”

  “She would.”

  “Okay?”

  “She shouldn’t have to, Mom.”

  “I see. You think Melanie feels obligated to you?”

  “If we buy a house, get married….What would you call that?”

  “I’d call it commitment,” Candace replied.

  “Same thing.”

  Candace shook her head. “No, it isn’t, Shell. Commitment employs give and take. Commitment is bending. Obligation implies binding.”

  “So? You’re not bound to J.D.?”

  “I’m committed to my relationship with Jameson. She doesn’t expect me to sacrifice everything for that commitment and I don’t expect that of her. I know she will bend as far as she can and so will I. There is a difference.”

  “What about to this office?” Michelle challenged.

  “Yes, I have obligations. But, Michelle, your definition of that word seems to be all binding. If the time came that Jameson needed me more, that Spencer needed me more, that you needed me more—my commitment to any of you would far outweigh my obligations here.”

  Michelle groaned. “I can’t ask her to give up that job. She loves it.”

  “What makes you think she would have to?”

  “Mom, if things…”

  “I know where this is heading, Shell. I have been in this office for exactly a month. Three years is a long way away. A lot can change in that time.”

  “You know they will want you to run,” Michelle said. “Wallace told you that. That’s why they wanted you here in this office. And, what happens then?”

  “Shell, you are way ahead of me on this one. If something changes, you will have to deal with it. If you love Melanie, you are going to have to either trust her to love you or let her go.”

  “I do trust her!”

  “Well, maybe you need to trust yourself,” Candace observed candidly.

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Oh? Why is that?” Candace wanted to know.

  “Mom, you have like the perfect marriage.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yeah,” Michelle said emphatically.

  “There’s no such thing,” Candace said. “I love Jameson. Jameson loves me. I support her and she supports me. That’s a marriage, Shell. It’s not a guarantee and it’s not an obligation. It’s a choice to make a commitment.”

  “You make it sound like running for office.”

  “Well, in some ways it is. You have to give more than you take sometimes. Sometimes, you need to accept more than you can give at that moment.”

  “Mom?”

  “What?”

  “I just don’t want to go through that.”

  “Through what?” Candace asked.

  “Watching her leave,” Michelle admitted.

  Candace sighed. “Oh, Shell. No one wants to go through that, sweetheart.”

  Michelle fell into Candace’s arms in tears. “If I say yes to any of it…”

  Candace rocked Michelle lightly. Candace recalled Michelle watching as Jessica had pulled out of their driveway for the last time. “I’m sorry, Shell.”

  “Why are you sorry?” Michelle asked.

  “I know how hard it was for you when Jessica left.”

  “That was a long time ago,” Michelle said.

  “Yes, it was, but some goodbyes stay with us a lifetime,” Candace said knowingly.

  Michelle had
been small when Candace and her father had divorced. She had been extremely close to Candace’s former lover. Both Michelle and Marianne had been left bitter toward the woman they once had practically worshiped. Candace had thought that Michelle had moved past that anger. Perhaps she had, but the loss lingered even after many years. Loss could be that way. You learned to live with it.

  “Have you ever thought about calling her?” Candace asked.

  “Who?”

  “Jessica.”

  “Why would I call her?” Michelle pulled back and asked harshly.

  Candace smiled. “Because you love her.”

  “No, I don’t, Mom.”

  “Yes, you do, Shell. And, she loves you too. She always did and you know that.”

  “You can’t be serious,” Michelle replied in disbelief.

  “I’m completely serious.”

  “If I never saw her again that would be fine with me,” Michelle said flatly.

  “Be careful, Shell. You don’t mean that. One day you might get that wish you throw around so freely and you’ll wish you could take it back.”

  “Mom, how could you even suggest that after what she did to you?”

  “What happened between Jessica and I was never about you, Shell.”

  “The hell it wasn’t.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “She left us all behind, Mom—all of us.”

  “Shell, you need to let this go.”

  “I’m not going to do that to J.D.,” Michelle said.

  “Do what?”

  “Betray her friendship like that. No way.”

  Candace folded her arms across her chest. “You think that Jameson would view you reaching out to Jessica as a betrayal?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Oh, Shell. Jameson is not that insecure. She knows Jessica was a big part of your life and mine. And, I certainly hope she knows that is part of my past. It doesn’t mean you can’t have Jessica in your future.”

  “How did this become about her?” Michelle asked.

  “Well, something has you convinced that Melanie is going to leave. You explain it to me another way,” Candace challenged her daughter. Michelle made no response. “Shell, you are a grown woman and you can do whatever you think is best. I want you to listen to me. You’ve said more than once lately that I don’t listen enough to you. I do listen. I don’t always agree. And, you are your own woman. You don’t have to agree or take my advice either,” Candace said. “But, I can tell you that I have lived a bit in this world. I’ve known you since before you were born, and believe it or not, I do know Jessica as well as almost anyone. She cares about you. Always has and always will. I know how much that breakup hurt you and your sister. Believe me, I know. Melanie is not Jessica and you are not me. You might be a great deal like me, but you are not me. Maybe, just maybe you need to hear what Jessica has to say.”