Cowgirl Education: a Camden Ranch Novel

by Jillian Neal

  Holly tried her damnedest to listen. She really did. The sticky wetness between her thighs was distracting. Her pulse sluiced through her veins, tapping out a frantic rhythm in her mound. Her own emptiness felt raw. Her breasts ached. Her mind had no trouble conjuring the recollections of his pierced cock filling her fully, sating her soul.

  The way he’d watched her walk to her seat, the way he’d licked his lips, always the perfect mix of soft hunger and brutal possession, made her desperate.

  Her love map paper had been on the top of his stack. Playing fast and loose, Dr. St. James. She wanted to scold him, but not nearly as much as she wanted him to discover that she was naked under this dress and to punish her for being naughty.

  She shifted in her seat, futilely trying to bring herself some relief. Another round of wet heat coated her lips. If this class didn’t end soon, she was going to look like she’d wet the damn dress, which was admittedly too short for her to have forgone panties.

  His eyes flashed discreetly to hers when she repositioned in her seat yet again. A wicked grin formed on his chiseled features. She tried to communicate telepathically. Aware I’m craving your wicked ways, professor? Good. End the damn class and take me home. His pompous smirk said there was a decent chance he’d actually understood some of that.

  “As you know, or you should, given that you’re sitting in this class, the love map largely covers goals in relationships. Gottman guided it further into a kind of sex map, a part of every healthy relationship, and all of this leads us to the exploration of sexual fantasy and the part it plays in our adult lives, relationships, psychological development, and careers in psychology.”

  Blah, blah, blah. Gottman and Money and whatever. Sex. Relationships. I want both with you. Now. Get on with it. Holly shot Dec an impatient glare. He almost laughed out loud. Biting his lips together he returned to his desk to regain his composure and pick up a stack of computer paper.

  “I had you quickly chart out, as best as you could, both the influences of your love map and what your map might look like and give brief explanations of how your map might’ve been developed and how it could help you navigate future relationships as that is the entire point of the exercise. In therapy sessions, a love map is often the first thing you’ll have patients complete. Then you were instructed to expand on the idea of the map and to detail out a kind of sex map for either yourselves or an imaginary patient you were in charge of counseling. Most of you did splendidly. A few of you made me concerned this was the first psychology class you’d ever taken.” He clicked a remote in his hands and further reading on John Gottman’s works displayed on the wall.

  Holly fidgeted with the pencil in her hand and tried to think of anything but Dec. His sultry, graveled voice and that damned seductive accent filled her head with far too many ideas, however. She uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. The stale air in the room taunted her damp skin. Dec’s eyes locked between her legs for a split second. It occurred to Holly that given the height of her desk in the room, he could see up her dress from his vantage point on the floor. Heat pricked her cheeks, but this was her only class in a lecture hall. No one else would’ve been able to view everything God gave her. Everyone’s eyes were locked on the screen where Dec’s class notes were displayed from his computer. Per orders given, everyone dutifully copied the information in pencil.

  Taking advantage of the opportunity provided, she slowly uncrossed her legs again. Edged the fabric of her dress up ever so slightly. Licked her lips. Watched every muscle in his body tense. And then re-crossed her legs, swinging her booted foot like she had no cares in the world.

  His pierced brow lifted in challenge, then he set the remote on his desk for the purposes of rubbing his hands together. Her nipples were hardened pearls beneath her dress. They ached. Every caress of the fabric sent a fresh jolt of fresh lust through her. Her mouth flooded with saliva. Heat surged outward from her pussy to her limbs until she was concerned she might spontaneously combust in the middle of the lecture hall.

  Dec cleared his throat. His voice was slightly strained but he managed, “It is important to remember that our love maps do not necessarily lead to any other destination than the one of self-discovery. Also keep in mind that like all of us, it evolves over time. Marriage should never be viewed as the endpoint of either the traditional love map nor our expanded sex map. Different people may leave their mark upon your maps, but it is our job as therapists to guide our patients to the understanding that they and only they should ever be the compass of their own relationship desires.”

  The word desires whipped and whirled through Holly’s imagination. Dammit, Dec. End class.

  “I’m going to hand back your map work. We’re going to expand the concepts beyond Money and Gottman’s research. Attached to it is one of the many fantasies often discussed on maps. It will not be a fantasy on your own map if you included any, however. Monday in class you’ll hand back a short essay on where the fantasy is believed to have originated, you will dismantle its stigma, and give examples of how the fantasy could be explored safely. If you believe the fantasy given is deviant, tell me that, but here’s a clue, none of them are markers of deviance. Don’t come in here with half a paragraph about how anyone with your given fantasy should seek counseling with an attached future business card. I will fail you. It won’t even tax me to do so.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Seated on his sofa wearing nothing but a loose pair of workout shorts, Dec watched the sun sink low behind the cottonwood trees bordering the lake. She was on her way over. His pulse doubled the mark of the passing seconds. He sincerely hoped she was ready to start exploring a few of her fantasies because that was his plan for the entire evening.

  His version of British curry bubbled slowly on the stove. The methodical preparations had barely distracted him through the late afternoon hours. He’d cook the rice after he had his say about her lack of undergarments and her flashing him in class.

  The memory of her impish grin and the wildfire in her eyes branded itself in his brain once again. He had plenty to say about her behavior, all the things she’d used her wiles to ask for. Being possessive wasn’t something he had to work at. With her, it came far too easily. Damn, but she was woman perfected. For the first time in his life he considered not resenting his entire existence. If it had all gotten him where he currently sat, maybe some of it was worth it.

  The clock on the mantle chewed through the passing seconds too fucking slowly. He reviewed the psychology behind her relatively well-concealed requests. Desire was the ultimate female orgasm. Anyone with a dick and half a brain who was paying attention should know that. Being the single focused object of his desires was not a problem. She just needed to see and feel him react. Proving his rampant desire was his only goal.

  He’d left the garage door open. The chug of her truck motor announced her arrival. Her quick rap on the kitchen door surged another flood of heated blood to his cock. “It’s open, baby.”

  Her appearance affected every cell in his body. In one fluid motion, he was off the couch relieving her of her bags. She eyed him hopefully, but there was more than a note of nervousness tensing her pretty mouth. He said nothing, just set the bags at the bottom of the steps to be retrieved later.

  Returning to the kitchen, he took her hand and jerked her forward. As she collided with the solid wall of his chest, he wrapped her up in his arms and growled in her ear. “You are in so much trouble, young lady.”

  The tender tremble of her body vibrated his soul.

  “For what?” Her feigned innocence was perforated with reckless desperation and a small helping of fear. Slow it down, St. James. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

  She was so damned intoxicating he longed to forget the whole thing, but she wanted to explore. She’d made that more than clear. All he wanted was to take care of her. She wanted something a touch more erotic.

  Whisking her up into his arms, he ignored her quick gasp of breath. Her body was far t
oo tense for his liking. He settled her in his lap, cradling her face against his shoulder. “Quite sure you know why you’re in trouble. Taunting me. Tempting me. Showing off what belongs to me and only me to any man fortunate enough to be walking behind you. Your gorgeous ass is mine, sweetheart. All for me. And I have plenty to say about you showing it off.”

  It took less than half a second for his hand to lift the flimsy dress, baring her to his voracious eyes. His right hand landed on her ass. He cupped a handful of her flesh making his cock throb against her. “All mine.”

  Her breaths came in quick bursts. “Yes.” She ground against him now, abandoning the case of nerves she’d been unnecessarily carrying.

  “It hurt, didn’t it, baby? Hurt to sit there imagining all the things you needed me to do to you. Made you wet for me, didn’t it?”

  “God, yes.”

  “Good, because I had to stand up there in front of the whole fucking class so hard for you I burned. Thought you’d taunt me flashing your pretty little snatch all for me. Showing me what I already know is mine.”

  Her low, breathy mewl of need cinched like a vice around his cock.

  “You really think you’d get away with it, honey? Did you really believe I wouldn’t remind you that I’m the only one who gets to see you like that and that I’ll look my fill whenever and wherever I want?” She rocked her hips back and forth against his erection, desperate now. Just how he wanted her. “Answer me.”

  “I wanted you to know how bad I need you. How bad I want you.”

  “I think what you want is to be bad for me. You want me to make you be bad don’t you, love?”

  Her response came through loud and clear. She threaded her fingers through his hair. Her lips crashed down on his, full and ripe. She opened for him readily. Their tongues tangled, each anxious for the upper hand. That beautiful mouth of hers; he had several plans for it as well.

  Catching her bottom lip between his teeth he sucked until he could feel the wet heat spilling from her vagina through the thin shorts he was wearing. The flavors of her succulent mouth took up residence in his groin. Sweet as candy and spicier than sin. Perfection. He’d been on knife’s edge of arousal since long before he’d gotten a sneak peek at what he planned to thoroughly enjoy that weekend. She consumed his every thought. Longing had sharpened his desires and dominated his every waking thought. In the dark of night when he couldn’t sleep without her in his arms, it was the sweet addiction of her that sang for him.

  He jerked his head away, and gently cradled her chin in his hand. “You’re all mine, all for me and no one else. Only I get to see you uncovered. Only I get to see you undone. You understand that?”

  Challenge lit the pools of emerald flames in her eyes. Her long lashes blinked once in contemplation. “Might need a reminder.”

  If there’d been any doubt as to what exactly she wanted, she’d erased it all in one quick phrase. Shifting his hips, he turned her and laid her face down across his lap.

  “Oh God, yes,” she begged. Arching her back, she presented her ass all for him. Oh, hell yeah.

  Flipping the dress upwards, he cupped his hand. He had no intention of actually hurting her. This was about freeing the constraints, taking what she didn’t want to admit she needed to give. The round feminine globe of her right cheek jiggled and pinked slightly on his first strike. He made another then massaged away the sting. “All for me and no one else, ever.”

  Tracing his fingers up her slit, he groaned out his approval. She was drenched.

  “More.” Any inhibition or nervousness she’d had disappeared completely, precisely the way it was supposed to.

  Two more strikes and he rubbed with more vigor, absorbing the shock. His cock stabbed hard against her abdomen. He didn’t know how much longer he could go without getting off. That gorgeous ass, plump and pink, drove him mad. She was wetter than he’d ever felt her, saturated with arousal. He made another strike. This time he felt the sting in his own hand. “You need more, baby, or can you be a good girl for me?”

  “More,” she demanded.

  He continued.

  “Oh God.” In one quick move she’d slipped from his knees to the floor. “I can be good.” She played her part too fucking well. The pout of her lips, the feral look in her eyes, her body painted in a dozen shades of pink nothing as fevered as her ass and her pussy.

  She jerked the elastic of his shorts down. That was all he was wearing. She purred her approval.

  “There’s a good girl. You’re gonna suck me off. Swallow all of me down for making me hurt with wanting you.” Gathering her hair in his right hand, he edged forward on the couch, certain he wouldn’t last more than two sucks. She’d wanted instruction. He didn’t know how long he’d be able to survive this. She was the walking, talking embodiment of his every fantasy and she was on her knees before him.

  “Lick my head and run your tongue around the ridge and my piercing.”

  She complied instantly. Her wet mouth mocking his staying power. Two swipes of her tongue and one quick, suckled kiss on his head and he writhed, crushing her hair tighter in his fist, releasing the soft feminine scents of her shampoo. It coupled with her musk, driving him closer to the edge.

  “Now suck more. Wrap your right hand around my shaft and take as much as you can.”

  A carnal cry of wanton urgency vibrated through him as she obeyed. Dec gripped the arm of the couch, ordering himself not to thrust into her mouth lest he choke her, but sweet Jesus she was good, too bloody good. He gave a shallow thrust, unable to help himself. She relaxed her throat like a pro and took all he gave.

  “So fucking good,” he managed to grunt. His jaw clenched. The strokes of her tongue fried every nerve ending in his body. He tensed. Unable to give anymore verbal instruction he grabbed her left hand and showed her how to cup his sac. “Gentle, baby. Just like that,” he managed in a breathless choke. Sweat sheened his brow.

  Another sweet moan reverberated from her mouth through him. “I’m coming. Swallow it all,” preceded his body seizing. He came with a savage cry of her name and three quick thrusts up into her mouth.

  The room spun. His vision clouded and white pops of ecstasy flared against his eyelids. She stayed with him as he flooded her mouth, swallowing and licking him clean until he had to stop her.

  Trying desperately to remember that he’d more than just pushed her boundaries with the spanking, he forced his muscles to work, though he would’ve paid a king’s ransom for her to crawl up on his chest and take a nap with him.

  Instead, he lifted her up into his lap and let her hide. She nuzzled her face against his neck and curled herself into a tight ball. Grinning at that, he wrapped her up in his strength. “That all okay, sweetheart?”

  “That was so freaking hot. I’ve never been so turned on. I think that’s what scares me.”

  “You know I would never actually hurt you.”

  “I know. It’s more that it made me feel so out of control and I liked it even more than I thought I would.”

  “Being safely out of control is supposed to feel good. I love you, Holly. I love that you let me own your fantasies and live out my own. I’ve screwed up so much in this life, but I swear I will do anything to keep this good.”

  “I know you will. I told you we’re worth all of the having to hide and other crap that comes with you teaching at UN. And,” she brushed a kiss on his collarbone, inhaling the musky flavors of Dec aroused mixed in with his cologne, “I love you, too.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Despite all that she did know, she hadn’t expected being turned over his knee or being on her knees before him to add new dimensions to their love making, to their entire relationship. He’d managed to run his fingers through her soul. He’d revealed a deeper being, one she hadn’t ever experienced before. He unfolded the complicated truths she kept locked tightly away and more than that he loved her still. On top of all of that, she hadn’t even climaxed yet she felt
fulfilled in every possible way.

  Cuddling against his shoulder, she loved the grin she felt against her head. If he’d held her like that for another few minutes, she could have drifted off to sleep.

  “Are you hungry, baby? I cooked. Just need to make the rice.”

  “You cooked?”

  “Did you think I was going to keep you holed up here all weekend and not feed you?” Humor played in his drowsy tone. Must’ve been a good orgasm. Pleased with that she spun her tongue just under his ear, indulging herself in his every flavor.

  “Mmm, honey, you do very wicked things with that tongue of yours. Don’t worry, after I feed you I plan to see what other wicked things you might be up for.”

  “I can’t wait, and now that I can focus, whatever you fixed smells yummy.”

  “It’s British curry. Ever had curry?”

  Holly shook her head. “No, but I like trying new things. We pretty much eat beef all the time, so something different sounds amazing.”

  “Then you sit right here and let me go make you dinner, Ms. Camden.”

  “We always call it supper.” Holly had no idea why that was important. She suddenly wanted Dec to know every intricate detail of her life. “Can I help?”

  “You can come with me and keep me company, but let me take care of you.” Holly followed him into his massive kitchen and grinned when he lifted her up to sit on his countertop. The cool granite dissolved the remaining sting of the spanking she’d just received. She suspected that had been his plan all along. “Only fancy Brits call it supper. I’ve only just broken myself of calling it tea.”

  “You’re not a fancy Brit?”

  “Sheep-shagger, remember?”

  “Yeah, but after you got your degree you weren’t a sheep farmer anymore.”

  “True, but one does not move between social classes easily. Once a sheep-shagger, always a sheep-shagger. My ex’s father never failed to mention what I’d done coming up to anyone with any influence in proper London society.”