Take Me As I Am

by JM Dragon

  “Better, thanks. Must have been all the excitement of the awards. I’m so proud of you, Joanna. Did you have a good time at the after party?

  Jo was about to answer when the cabbie spoke. “Hey, lady, mind me saying you look familiar?” The cab driver’s eyes, watching her from his rear view mirror, held a quizzical expression. His features were blurred by day old stubble.

  “Doubt it, unless you live in the neighborhood we’re going to.” Jo frowned thinking he might have seen her on TV last night.

  “Nope, I’m from the other side of town. You must look like one of those actresses or something,” he muttered and turned his attention back to the road.

  “Why didn’t you say you were a famous singer?” Thea chuckled.

  Jo felt her whole body respond like magic to that sound and winked. “Oh, I figure we are on vacation and we don’t need it. Right?”

  “Right.”

  “Dad will be at work now. What do you say we brunch with my folks around ten?” Jo asked casually.

  “Try to stop me.” Thea squeezed her hand.

  Jo felt a surge of pleasure go through her at the touch. “Never. I think this is my stop.”

  “Eleven, then. If my folks are free, shall I invite them too?”

  Jo grinned and held herself back from the kiss she desperately wanted. “Absolutely. Call me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

  “Of course. Now go, your mom is going to be so happy to see you,” Thea said.

  Jo waved before turning to her family home.

  †

  Other than different drapes on the windows, the place looked the same as it had when she had been a child. Her eyes scanned the deserted street as memories of days playing ball regardless of the traffic, and other such games as a kid that had made growing up fun. They’d been happy times though. For a few moments, she could hear the laughter and see the scene, smell the fresh bread baking, and remember Mrs. Spencer who played the damn piano so loud and off key you could hear it no matter where you were in the street. Her mind vividly recalled Gary Thomas, her first boyfriend and the first to kiss her. They’d been six at the time. That evening he lost his tooth and vowed never to kiss a girl again. She wondered if he ever did. Something she wasn’t likely to find out since the Thomas’s had left for Texas when Gary was ten.

  “Jo, how good to see you. Your parents never said you were coming home.” Mrs. Riker, the neighborhood gossip who ran the post office, hugged her in a warm welcome. “I hope I see you later.” The woman smiled warmly and waved goodbye as she went on her way to work.

  Jo grinned at the familiarity. It was so like the neighborhood she remembered. Maybe things hadn’t changed that much. She obviously had. With a smile etched across her lips, she buzzed her parent’s apartment. One thing she knew for sure at this time in the morning was that both her parents—being early birds—would be out of bed. That hadn’t changed when she’d been there last.

  She pressed the intercom.

  “Hello?” Jo’s eyes crinkled as she heard her mother’s voice. It felt good to be there. She missed family more and more each time she left them. She was getting older and needed to settle down. A vision of Thea came to mind and she smiled.

  “Hi, Mom, it’s me.” A shriek had Jo taking a step away from the intercom. A grin filled her face as the door buzzed open and she stepped inside the familiar hallway. Within a couple of minutes, her mother was kissing and hugging her.

  “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? We could have met you at the airport,” her mother admonished even though she was smiling.

  “Low key, Mom. You know I like it that way. Anyway, Dad needs his sleep since he has to get up so early. The regulars would never forgive him for having their orders late. Whatever would they do without his fresh bagels and rolls for breakfast.” Jo held her mother away from her for the usual scrutiny.

  “You look haggard, Joanna. What have you been doing to yourself? I told Thea to look after you.” Her mother clucked and glanced over her shoulder. “Where is she?”

  “Thea has done a great job of looking after me. Yesterday was awards night with parties and all that. I didn’t get my usual six hours.”

  “We watched you last night. Your dad is so proud of you.”

  “And you’re not?” Jo laughed.

  “Yes, yes, I am. I’m not a big country music fan. You’re the only one I listen to.”

  Jo hugged her mom. “No problem, Mom. Thea doesn’t really like country music much either. She likes my new work with a new young singer though.” She hated Tandy but she wasn’t saying that.

  “That girl has good taste. I’ve always told her so. I miss Thea. She’s like a breath of fresh air in a room when she enters.”

  Jo’s blood rushed to her head. Thea was exactly that and more, so very much more.

  “Will you and Dad be able to meet me and possibly Thea’s folks for brunch at ten?”

  “What a question. We will make time. Now come in and tell me all about the awards you won last night.

  †

  Joanna’s grandmother’s house was beautifully maintained with obvious respect and love. The wood looked as good as the day the building was completed. Whenever Thea entered the house, she felt that the inside reflected the out. The carefully chosen furnishings complimented the polished wooden floors and immaculately preserved oak paneling in various rooms. It was a wonderful home and like one she hoped one day to discover and own.

  “Thea, Gran tells me you’ve been Skyping her every week since we left. You never told me.” Joanna was in the kitchen helping her grandmother make sandwiches.

  Thea walked to the open doorway and grinned at the two of them together. They did look alike except that Joanna had a much darker complexion from her Greek heritage. “Ah, yes, but do I need your permission to communicate with such a lovely woman?”

  Realizing what she said, Thea could feel her cheeks grow hot from embarrassment.

  “No. I think your taste is perfect.” Joanna softly kissed her Gran on the cheek.

  Jacqueline tutted. “What have you two been up to since we last saw one another…no, maybe since you’ve been back home. Thea has told me everything else.”

  Joanna picked up a slice of cucumber from the dish and popped it into her mouth and her grandmother gave her a severe look. “We are having a break with family. Non music related.”

  “Now, that’s something new. Thea, thank you for making her see the light.”

  Thea looked at the delicious assortment of sandwiches. Her stomach was aggressively growling and her mouth was watering. She looked at Joanna, threw her glance at the food, and sighed.

  They both chuckled.

  “Care to share what has amused you both? The sandwiches are ready. Let’s take them into the parlor and we can talk there while we eat them.

  Minutes later, they were munching on sandwiches. Joanna, as usual was gulping her coffee far too fast. Thea speculated on how long it would be before Joanna burned her mouth.

  “The food is delicious, Gran. I wish you came on our tours.” She looked at her friend and grinned. “Thea has a bottomless pit to fill.”

  “I do, not that I’m really admitting that, but you on a tour would be wonderful. I can arrange it, if you like,” Thea said.

  “Silly children. I’m way too old for all that traveling, but thank you.”

  “The offer stands if you change your mind.” Thea smiled fondly at the woman.

  “Now that we have that out of the way. When are you coming to stay with me, Joanna? Your parents can’t hog all your time. I want to see you as well.”

  “Gran, why not come for dinner on Sunday? You know mom will be thrilled and all the family will be there. Come on, Gran, life is too short. Will you bury the hatchet with my dad, please?”

  “I will not, Joanna, and that is my final word on the matter.”

  “Fine. I was only asking.” Jo closed her eyes in what looked like defeat.

  For the next two
hours, they talked about the concert tour, the award ceremony, and general things. When they departed, Thea hugged the older woman and whispered in her ear, “Diner, the hotel, a mixed family affair. Will that work?”

  “We’ll see.”

  †

  On the drive home, Jo watched the scenery flashing by. She had never felt as relaxed as she did at that moment. It was easy to be in Thea’s company. As they neared her family home, Jo closed her eyes. “Thea, I was wondering if we could have some time alone and talk about stuff.”

  “We can talk anytime, Joanna, you know that. I thought we did.”

  Jo sat up from her slouched position and smiled. “We do. I guess what I wanted to say is that we need a serious talk. Privately. No interruptions from the family, phone, crisis, or even an earthquake.”

  “Hope we don’t have one of those.” Thea grinned.

  “I’m serious. How does a trip to Canada sound? We could rent a cabin for a few days and have a holiday alone. I’m sure our parents won’t mind.” Jo waited for a reply.

  Ever since she’d held Thea in her arms while she slept, she could think of little else. She wanted to go where they would have as much uninterrupted time as possible. Everything in her mind and body was screaming that the outcome of their time alone was incredibly important. The place had to be just right for she knew there would be no second chances. She had to get it right.

  “Sounds good. You arrange it and I’ll be there with bells on.”

  “Bells. Now, that sounds interesting.” Jo laughed just as the car stopped outside her parent’s home. “Right. I’ll arrange everything and call you with the details.”

  With a happy smile, Thea turned. Jo took the opportunity and leaned closer until their lips met. The pressure and sensual bomb amplified every nerve in her body. As their lips touched, Jo placed her arms around Thea and dragged her closer. She asserted a gentle pressure and ran her tongue along Thea’s lips. When her mouth opened and their tongues intertwined, Thea moaned.

  Jo pulled away slowly and stared at Thea passionately. “My God, I’m so sorry, Thea.” Jo placed her hands over her face.

  †

  Thea stared at her friend. This was brilliant. A miracle. It was everything she could have hoped for would happen and Joanna was apologizing. That was ridiculous. Unable to stop herself she chuckled softly.

  Joanna’s cheeks went pink. “I’m sorry, Thea,” she said while opening the car’s door.

  Thea’s hand snaked out at lightning speed and held Joanna’s arm, preventing her from fleeing the vehicle, “Not so fast, Joanna.” Thea smirked. She couldn’t help it. For once, she felt like she had all the power if the incredulous look on Joanna’s face was anything to go by.

  “What?” Jo barked out harshly.

  “Not exactly the tone I expected after that wonderful romantic interlude.” Thea couldn’t help but tease Joanna, who looked remarkably uncomfortable. Finally taking pity on her, Thea leaned across and kissed her again.

  “We’ll talk tomorrow. Oh, and I think we can share a room wherever you plan to take me. I love you,” Thea said softly. Not wanting to let her go yet, Thea slid her hand onto Joanna’s forearm, caressing it slowly. She could feel the trembling under her fingers and wondered if Joanna was going to collapse in a heap in the seat.

  †

  Jo felt like she was gliding out of the car before standing numbly on the sidewalk watching Thea wave as she pulled away. Certain her mouth was open in shock, Jo placed her fingers on her lips. The memory of their shared kisses brought a glow inside her that she had never felt before. Not even the brief kiss at the hotel pool the week before had made her feel this way.

  Is this what everyone calls love?

  She’d certainly never felt this way after kissing anyone.

  She entered the apartment building and, when she found herself in front of the door to her family’s apartment, she wondered how she got there. Her mind and body were floating with the feelings that were coursing through her. All she wanted to do was to stay awake and shout from the rooftops that she was in love with Thea. Most important—she knew that Thea loved her, too. She’d said so. Hadn’t she always known that? That thought made her heart soar.

  Jo opened the door quietly, knowing that her parents would already be in bed since it was after ten and they went to work early. For her, sleep wasn’t an option. Her body was on fire. It was very similar to the adrenaline rush she always had after a performance but much more pleasurable. Maybe if she waited another twenty minutes, she could call Thea to make sure it wasn’t all in her imagination. Yeah, she could do that and would.

  She extracted a cold beer from the refrigerator and after removing the top, drank heavily from the bottle. “Thea. Wow. Thea.” The name alone evoked all manner of emotions within her.

  She said we can share a room. Don’t we always? But it’s separate beds. Does it mean what I think it does? My God.

  Her mind was doing loops in every imaginable way while she was leaning against the breakfast table, grinning. As she did, the giddiness within her bubbled up and grew with such intensity that she was sure her cheeks would split wide open. She was kinda glad that no one else was up because she probably looked goofy. God, this was stupid. She wasn’t a teenager. She was a grown woman with too many relationships behind her ever to think love would be part of her life. Yet, here she was, totally besotted and absolutely, irrevocably in love with Thea. That name again. She knew if she said the name a thousand times—no a million—it wouldn’t be enough. It would never be enough.

  After throwing the empty bottle in the recycle bin, she looked at her watch. Fifteen minutes. Thea would be back at the hotel now. Taking another cold beer, she went to her room, sat down on the bed, dialed the direct line to Thea’s rooms, and pressed the speaker button. Several rings later the night clerk answered the phone.

  “Is Ms. Danvers available?”

  “Who’s calling?”

  She wasn’t happy about giving out her name, but realized that the guy was only doing his job. “Joanna Lackerly.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Lackerly, Ms. Danvers is with her mother at the moment. Do you want me to have her call you back?”

  For a few moments, Jo wanted that desperately. “No. No, that’s okay. I’ll catch her tomorrow. Please just let her know I called. Goodnight.” She pressed the off switch on the phone and threw it on the bed.

  “Thea has arrived home safely and that’s the most important thing. Tomorrow we will embark on another journey together. I can’t believe I’m saying that, and what it means.” Jo picked up her guitar that she’d left on her bed and gently strummed a few notes. Before she knew it, she was writing a song. A song for Thea.

  Chapter Thirty

  Belinda Orkney watched her boss pace in his office. She could see his tall gait indistinctly through the frosted glass. Any minute he’d be asking her to do something on his behalf. Yep...here it comes.

  The door to Jack’s office opened and out stepped the man, a frown on his face as he homed in on his PA. “Belinda, the press blurb that came through yesterday, don’t send it to Jo or Thea...especially Thea. I’ll deal with it when they come back to Nashville.”

  Belinda looked at the man in consternation. “Jack, I already sent it out last night. Thought you’d want that since the review was fantastic.”

  “Can we retrieve them?”

  “Sorry, they were sent by courier and are probably already there by now. Want me to call them and find out?”

  “God, no. Let’s see if we have any fall out, shall we? I’ll have a brandy with my coffee.” The man walked away, shutting the door behind him with a thud.

  Belinda wondered about the brandy. It was, after all, only eight in the morning. Something big must be going on. Her hand strayed to the folder on her desk that she was ready to file and she gave it a second glance. The review was excellent and said they expected greater things from the two women who had performed a duet. Although praising Tandy because she won
the awards technically, Jo had a glowing mention. Clearly the critic wanted to hear more from her on both the song writing and singing fronts.

  Her eyes strayed to the photos, several of Tandy and the awards. A couple of others of the singers together singing and as she flicked through the ones left, she didn’t see anything odd. Then she saw it and whistled softly. Now she knew why Jack was worried. She’d missed that one last night when she’d sent the packs to the two women. There, in a tight clinch indulging in a passionate kiss were unmistakably Jo and Tandy. From what she could see, both women appeared to be enjoying the kiss for all it was worth. She closed her eyes for a fraction of second realizing what Jack was worried about. Country music and lesbians rarely mixed. “I wonder if Thea knows Jo likes women.” Jack’s words echoed in her ears, ‘Especially Thea’.

  Belinda’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit!”

  †

  A tender smile crossed her lips as Thea thought of Jo who had apologized for not seeing her for breakfast. Her grandmother had fallen in the yard earlier that morning and she was on her way there with her mom in tow.

  The indications were that although severely shaken, her grandmother hadn’t broken anything. They were going to check on her to see for themselves, even if the stubborn woman didn’t want them there. She’d noticed many of Joanna’s traits in her grandmother and that was probably why they got on so well. Both were confident in what they wanted and how to go about getting it.

  That was until the past night. A warm sensual feeling began flooding her body at the kisses she’d enjoyed in Joanna’s arms. So much so that she had to shake away the increasingly salacious thoughts or she would be unable to function.

  Thea walked toward her old desk and flipped through the mail picking up an envelope that had arrived by courier from Trigon Records. It was the review of the awards ceremony. She and Joanna had talked briefly about the event but hadn’t gone in depth. She expected that they would talk about it when they went away for a few days. At least she would have a heads up on what the critics thought. She knew her friend wouldn’t tell her much since she had no conceit in that area. Not like Tandy who was so full of herself and her talent.