The Junior (College Years Book 3)

by Monica Murphy

  “You’re going to be fine. I have faith in you. And you can still have a fun summer. It’s not over yet.” He removes his hand from my knee and I immediately feel the loss. I like it when Caleb touches me. Makes me feel connected to him. “If you’re up to it.”

  “If you’re talking sexual escapades, I’m going to have to pass,” I say wryly. “Feels a little broken down there at the moment.”

  More silence. I’m sure he’s not one to sit around and talk about vaginas and periods and all the problems that come with them. He likes talking about the fun stuff when it comes to vaginas. Like how many he’s explored.

  Ew. I just grossed myself out.

  “We can just hang out,” he finally says. “Hey, maybe we should take a day and drive over to the ocean.”

  I send him a look. “That’s kind of far for a day trip.”

  “Fine. Let’s make it an overnight trip.” He shrugs.

  “Don’t you have practice?”

  “I start back full force on Tuesday afternoon. I have Monday off. I don’t work either,” he says.

  “I have Monday off too,” I admit. “I have to be at the school for all-day meetings on Wednesday.”

  “Let’s get out of here then. Get away from reality and the heat and go to the beach,” he says, sounding excited.

  “You want to stay the night and…what? Get a hotel room?” I wrinkle my nose, wondering what he’ll want from me if we share a hotel room. That sounds expensive. “I can’t really afford it.”

  “My treat,” he says. “We can find somewhere cheap. Or hey, we can borrow Tony’s SUV and take it out on the dunes. We can camp on the sand.”

  I burst out laughing at the thought of Tony letting Caleb borrow his car. “Tony is not going to let you drive his pretty Range Rover onto the beach and camp out there overnight.”

  “You never know. Tony’s one of my best friends. He trusts me. Even with his expensive ass car.”

  “I’ve never camped before,” I admit. “Not in a tent or an RV or a trailer. I’ve never done it.”

  “Seriously? Growing up, that’s all we did. My parents have taken us out camping on the dunes or at one of the RV parks since I was a little kid.” He sits up straighter, and I can tell he’s getting excited. “We’re camping. It’ll be fun. I can borrow a tent from my dad. We’ll stay out on the dunes and barbecue hamburgers or hot dogs. Roast marshmallows.”

  Sit by a warm fire and get those warm feelings. Snuggle up close together in the tent since I bet it’s cold out there at night. Maybe even share a sleeping bag.

  This is dangerous. Incessant alarms should be clanging in my head, warning me off.

  “Let’s do it,” I say, not paying attention to those warning bells whatsoever.

  Seventeen

  Caleb

  “What are you doing again with the tent?” Mom asks me as she follows me out into the garage where Dad is already searching for it.

  “Uh, going camping.” What else does she think I’m doing with it?

  “Right, but where? And with who?”

  “We’re going to Pismo. Staying at Oceano Dunes,” I explain. “And it’s just me and Gracie.”

  The look on my mother’s face is nothing short of ecstatic. She’s always known about my preference for casual relationships. It was hard to hide while growing up since she worked for the school district. She’d hear things. Living in a small town, how could she not?

  “Is it getting serious with this young woman?” she asks, her brows up, a hopeful expression on her face.

  I slowly shake my head. “We’re just friends.”

  I can say that truthfully now. I’m not about to push myself on Gracie anyway, especially now. She just went through some trauma, and she took today off from work, which gave me the perfect excuse to swing by my parents’ house after my shift ended to pick up some camping gear.

  “Uh huh. You’re not friends with any girls, Caleb,” Mom points out. So helpful.

  “I am with this one.” I turn toward her and drop a kiss on her cheek. “Stop trying to make this into something it’s not.”

  “If you say so.” Her tone is full of doubt.

  I get why she feels this way. This sort of behavior isn’t normal for me. But hey, guess what? Maybe I’m growing up for once in my life.

  It’s possible. Stranger things have happened.

  “Here’s the tent,” Dad calls from the depths of the garage.

  I go to where he’s at, rummaging through all the stuff on one of the many racks he has all of his stuff stashed. I grew up in this house. My parents have never moved, and over the years, they’ve accumulated a ton of shit.

  “I appreciate you letting me borrow this,” I say as I pick up the bag the tent is in. It’s a little dusty but not too bad. “When was the last time you went tent camping?”

  “Aw, a few years ago with my friends. We went hiking in Yosemite and stayed overnight,” Dad says.

  “I don’t tent camp anymore,” Mom says before she bends down and pets one of her cats that just wandered into the garage. “The trailer is it for me. And I can’t remember the last time we went out on the dunes. We probably took you with us so it’s been a while.”

  “We always stay at the RV park now,” Dad says, nodding toward the travel trailer sitting out in front of the garage. “Thinking about keeping the trailer there so your mother and I can just drive over for the weekend when we want.”

  “Won’t that be expensive?” I ask, glancing at the shelf where he pulled the tent out from. I’d take any other camping equipment he has if he’ll let me.

  “Nah, I’ve checked into it. Not as bad as you’d think.” He rifles through a few other items on the shelf before pulling out a couple of sleeping bags. “You need these?”

  “Please.”

  “Did you make a reservation, Caleb?” Mom asks me. “You know how busy it gets during the summer, even on the weekdays.”

  “I did,” I call to her. “Got the email and everything.”

  “Don’t forget to print it out before you leave!”

  I roll my eyes at Dad. “I can just show the email to them on my phone when I get there.”

  “Oh. You’re right.” She laughs at herself. We chuckle too.

  Dad drops the sleeping bags on the ground next to the tent before resting his hands on his hips. “What car are you taking?”

  “Mine.”

  “Out on the beach?” Dad turns to face me. He’s a little shorter than I am, but we resemble each other. Same blue eyes, same mouth. He’s still got a full head of hair, but it’s mostly gray now. He likes to say I gave it to him with all of my antics growing up. “You can’t take that on the beach.”

  “Why not?” I run a hand through my hair, fighting annoyance. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always hated it when my dad tells me I can’t do something.

  “You need four-wheel drive. You don’t want to get stuck out there,” he explains.

  “I won’t go too far.” The sand near the entrance to the park isn’t as soft and deep.

  “Take my truck.” He waves a hand toward it. “Leave your car here.”

  Wait a second. His truck is downright precious to him. “You’re voluntarily loaning me your truck?”

  “I don’t want you to get stuck out there. Plus, this way you can keep all the equipment in the back,” he says, as if it’s completely logical that he’s letting me use it.

  But it’s sort of not logical at all, because he’s never liked me driving his vehicles. He described me as reckless and careless on the road—direct quote.

  Not going to turn down his offer though.

  “Thanks, Dad,” I say, still a little in shock.

  I help my father dig out a few more camping supplies. A couple of fold-up chairs. A battery-operated lantern. Long, metal sticks with wooden handles made to roast hot dogs or marshmallows. A shovel so we can dig ourselves out if we get stuck, or dig a fire pit at night. I’ve camped out on the dunes enough times with the fa
mily that I can figure it all out on my own. I’m not too worried.

  Though I do want to make this good for Gracie. She’s been stressed this summer. Not her usual, fight me self. I know she’s worried about money and taking on the student teacher thing. And the health scare didn’t help matters either. I just want her to have a good time when we go on this quick trip, so she can forget all of her troubles, even if it’s only for twenty-four hours.

  “Going camping with friends?” Dad asks me once we’ve found everything I want to use and we’re loading it into the back of his truck. Mom has gone back into the house and it’s just the two of us.

  “A friend,” I say, being purposely vague. Mom dug for info because she’s a pro at it. Dad doesn’t pry as much.

  “Girlfriend?” He lifts his brows.

  Well damn. He just proved me wrong.

  “A female friend,” I amend.

  He tosses the chairs into the truck bed. “You serious about her?”

  “We’re not even dating,” I admit. “We live together. She’s one of my roommates.”

  “Oh, that Gracie girl?” I’m surprised he remembers her name. He doesn’t seem to keep up with much of what I’m doing since I moved out. “The feisty one?”

  How the hell does he know this?

  “Your mom keeps me up-to-date,” he explains. I’m sure my surprised expression gave me away. “You might think I’m not paying attention to what you’re doing, but I am.”

  “Oh.” I nod, glance around, suddenly uncomfortable. “Yeah. I’m going with Gracie. She’s not feeling so feisty lately. We’ve been getting along.”

  “That’s good.” His gaze narrows as he contemplates me. “You like her?”

  “As a friend?” I frown. “Yeah. I do.”

  “You attracted to her?”

  I could lie, but what’s the point in that? “Yes. I am.”

  He chuckles. “You’re in trouble, son.”

  I’m immediately defensive. “Why do you say that?”

  “You trying to impress this girl? Take her camping, share with her a part of your life you enjoyed growing up? That’s a sign.”

  “A sign of what?”

  “That you have feelings for her.” I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up his hand, stopping me. “Don’t bother denying it. I can tell.”

  I clamp my lips shut, annoyed. With my father. With myself.

  “And it’s okay. You’re getting a little older. You’ve gone a long time without having a serious relationship,” he says.

  “I had Baylee,” I start, but he shakes his head.

  “You treated that poor girl like garbage and you know it.”

  Leave it to my dad to keep it real.

  “Saw her last week at Big Five. She was with some guy and she looked real happy. I talked to them for a bit. He goes to Fresno State too. She said they were going up to Yosemite for the day,” he says.

  Wait a minute. “Baylee came here? And she was with a guy?”

  “I ran into them when I went to buy a new knife.” He nods. “Nice kid. Said his name’s Carson.”

  The only Carson I know is the one who Ellie hung out with for a little while. “Get the hell out of here. I might know that dude.”

  Though I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who go to Fresno State named Carson.

  “Well, that dude seemed totally into her. Something you never really were.” Again, more honesty from dear old dad. “She even gave me a hug. She’s a good girl.”

  She was. “I ruined that.”

  “Hard to ruin something you were never really into, am I right?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply. “Don’t worry about her. She seems very happy with her new guy.”

  That should hurt, right? Knowing Baylee has completely moved on from me. But it doesn’t. I’m happy for her. I’m glad she moved on. I want her to forget about me and what I did to her. How I used her for way too long.

  Knowing I did that, how much I took advantage of her and for how long, makes me feel like shit.

  “I’m glad she’s happy,” I finally say, meeting my dad’s gaze.

  “You deserve happiness too. And most of the time, that doesn’t involve chasing after endless tail.” I don’t even bother trying to argue this time around. “Yes, I know what you’ve been up to these last four years or so. Maybe longer. And that’s okay. It’s just like I told you: you’re young. You should live it up while you can. No need to settle down any time soon. But it’s okay to find someone you actually care about too, you know.”

  “You’ve been giving me contradictory advice my entire life, you know that, right?” I can’t help but laugh, and he joins me.

  “I guess I’m a contradiction then,” he says with a shrug.

  I study him. The way he holds himself. The things he says and his self-deprecating ways. He reminds me of myself. Which makes me think I could end up like him. Living in the same average house and having the same average life. But does he seem so down and out over it?

  “Dad, can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course you can,” he says without hesitation.

  “Are you satisfied with your life?”

  He considers it for a moment, his expression turning somber. It’s as if I can see him running through his memory bank, assessing his past. “You know what, son? I’m damn satisfied. There is nothing better than to live in the small town you grew up in, and manage a place that serves the community. I’ve been married to your mother for a long time. We’ve raised two wonderful kids, and I think we gave you both a pretty great childhood. Now it’s just the two of us, and we’re enjoying ourselves. Your mother is a good woman, though she gave me a run for my money when I first met her.”

  I frown. This is a new part to their relationship I’ve never heard before. “What are you talking about?”

  “She played hard to get. Acted like she hated me at first. Maybe she did. I was pretty obnoxious when I was younger. Kind of like you.”

  Ouch. Damn.

  “She put on this act like she couldn’t stand me, but after a while, I broke down her walls. And now look at us.” He smiles proudly. “We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re better than we’ve ever been.”

  “That’s great,” I say, a little weakly, shocked by how similar their story is to mine and Gracie’s.

  I feel like I’ve broken down her walls bit by bit, all while she acted like she hated me at first. I never hated her. I was entranced by her from the very beginning.

  Some might say…a little obsessed even. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every time I saw her, I bugged the shit out of her just to get a rise out of her. And it always worked. It’s like when you’re in kindergarten and you chase after a girl to let her know you like her. I chased lots of them back then, and they never wanted to get caught by me.

  Then I start catching them, and I immediately threw them aside like a heartless idiot.

  Now I want one. I want her bad. But I don’t think she sees me like that. Sometimes I wonder if she can barely tolerate me.

  “Have fun on your camping trip.” He grips my shoulder and gives it a little shake. “Show her what you’ve got, son.”

  “Thanks,” I tell him.

  Yeah. No pressure.

  No pressure at all.

  Eighteen

  Gracie

  “You feeling good enough to go camping with him?” Hayden asks me, concern in her gaze.

  It’s Sunday evening and I’m at her new apartment. Caleb and I came here after work to hang out with her and Tony for a little bit before we head home to finish packing for our beach trip in the morning. The guys are currently outside barbecuing chicken. Well, Tony is barbecuing it while Caleb watches him.

  “I don’t have any more pain, if that’s what you’re asking,” I tell her. “I was fine at work today.”

  “You probably shouldn’t have gone,” she says with a frown.

  “I was okay. My job isn’t very strenuous. I sat around most of the time.” Ca
leb didn’t want me to go either, but I insisted. The pain is mostly gone. Only the occasional twinge happens. And I need to work because I need the money.

  “Still. The emergency room doc said you should stay home for a few days,” Hayden reminds me.

  I should’ve never told her what the doctor said. Now here she is hovering over me. “I’ll be fine. Really. I’ll make an appointment with my gyno tomorrow on the drive.”

  “Don’t forget.” She wags her finger at me like a mom. “Try to get in as soon as you can, too.”

  “Yes, Mother.” I roll my eyes and her expression becomes stern. “Come on, Hay. Lighten up.”

  “Honestly, I think you’re treating what happened to you too lightly.” She lowers her voice. “Something could be seriously wrong. You need to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I doubt it’s anything serious,” I say, but deep down, that’s what scares me. What if I’m all messed up down there and I can’t have kids? That would be…awful. Because I want them. Eventually. And I don’t want the choice taken away from me.

  “Doesn’t hurt to check,” she reminds me, just as Caleb opens the sliding glass door and enters the living room.

  “Doesn’t hurt to check what?” he asks.

  I study him, hating how attractive he looks right now in this moment. His dark hair just keeps growing, getting longer and longer, and he pushes it away from his face as if it’s an annoyance. Doesn’t help that his biceps bulge every time he does it, all those muscles flexing. Reminding me of how strong he is.

  He’s got those muscles on display too, wearing a black Nike tank top and black shorts, and the gold chain around his neck has become this weird temptation for me. I’m oddly fixated on it. Like I want to trace it with my fingertips. My lips.

  My tongue.

  Whoops, yep. Nope. Scratch that. No tongue involved. Not with me and Caleb.

  “Her health,” Hayden says, answering Caleb’s question and not holding back whatsoever. “It’s important she makes that appointment with her gynecologist tomorrow morning when you guys are traveling, okay?”