by Dalton Wolf
“And then we ran into that group, literally, and got trapped,” Scaggs finished
But Tripper had had enough.
“That’s not…no, I mean how did you get here. How in the nine proverbial rings of hell are you sitting there holding hands and kissy-facing with those two? I mean, you’re safe now, so you don’t have to cling to them like they fought a bar full of bikers off of you. You’re famous actresses and they’re nobodies.”
“Geeze, Joel,” Felicia muttered. “You said these guys were your friends.”
“Hey, now,” Trip held up both hands. “We love these guys. We’ve been friends almost since we were born, but no one outside our group has ever understood them enough to accept them. Hell, it took Sarah five years to get comfortable around them.”
“One year,” she corrected with a scowl for Trip. “And that’s because they rarely spoke to me, instead whispering and giggling behind my back. Once they got used to having me around and started actually saying what was on their minds, I thought they were lovely. I call them friends because they are. They’re definitely weird, but I’ve come to like weird over the years. You kind of have to with this group.”
She turned to the two actresses and pointed to each one with split fingers. “But you two just met them. You don’t know that. So what gives?”
“It’s not like we lost our minds because of the attacks or something,” Scaggs explained. “This is for real. We are kind of perfect for each other. We weren’t just staying for the parade. We’ve actually been trying to find them. We met them at the Con. Spent most of a day with them and had a lot of fun. But then they just left at the end so we thought they must already have girlfriends or something.”
“Grrrggle,” Trip choked back a comment, only holding back because of Sarah’s warning hand on his arm.
“But the next day we found out from someone else at the Con that they were single and decided to try and find them. We kept in touch with that guy. Rolly, I think.”
Felicia nodded.
“He couldn’t get your numbers, but finally found out through another friend where you guys would be today. We were looking for you.”
“I know it sounds weird, but we really liked them,” Felicia added. “For many reasons, but mainly, I guess, because they didn’t freak out on us and get all weird like all the other Fanboys do.”
“Wait…wait…wait,” Tripper exclaimed, holding up a hand. “You mean to say that these guys, two men who probably have posters of you both up on their walls that they do unspeakable things in front of nightly—”
“—Hey!” both men exclaimed.
“These two, who can’t even hold a regular conversation with any normal woman they might meet on the street or in a book store,” he continued, pointing an accusing finger at the both of them. “These two didn’t freak out when they met you two beautiful, famous actresses?”
“We’re not famous.”
“Subjective. The question stands,” Sarah supported her boyfriend.
“Fair enough. Then…no. Not at all. In fact, they were really sweet. And funny. Oh my god, they were soo funny. They were like a comedy duo.”
Trip stumbled back onto a soft couch resting against the back wall of Sarah’s office in defeat. “Snap. Crackle. Pop,” he babbled. “The events of this morning have broken my brain. I know now that I am completely insane.”
“How is this possible?” Athena asked, walking in and motioning to Quinn that it was his turn to watch the street. “How did you manage to talk to two actresses when you spilled your wine into your own lap to end that date with poor Marcy Denim just so you wouldn’t have to talk to her anymore?”
“Marcy wasn’t like us. She didn’t even like Star Wars.”
“But, you can’t talk to women…” Sarah said. “Why them?”
“Why would we have a problem talking to them?” Joel asked. “I’ve known this woman for years. I mean, not really, but I’ve seen her in enough shows and interviews to get an idea of what a geek she is.”
“Yeah, and we’ve played all the same games,” Gus added. “We’ve even met in-game a few times. We like the same shows and books and had a lot to talk about.”
“We learned today that if we’d had the guts to ask them out…” Joel said.
“…they would have said yes,” Gus finished and both ladies nodded and hugged their new boyfriends.
At least temporary-boyfriends-until-they-regain-their-sanity, Sarah thought. Maybe not, though. They seem pretty cool.
“NO!” Trip screamed. “This is not happening!”
“What?” Scooter asked him with an evil grin. “You still trying to make believe the world isn’t ending? Look no further, foolish Human! I gave you the deadly virus! I assaulted you with the risen dead! Still you doubted. I showed you planes falling from the sky and burning floats! But you are from Missouri, and you demanded more proof. Behold mortal! Here is what you seek! Your friends with girlfriends! The end of the world is nigh, indeed! Repent and Accept your Doom!”
Everyone laughed at Trip’s blatant refusal to accept the facts as he pulled his dark hair in bunches, trying to get a grip on his crumbling world. “I…can’t…we, no…don’t…never mind.”
“Oh shit. We don’t really have time for this,” Scooter jumped from the rail. “It was so nice being safe that I let it go to my head. We can’t stay here.” He sobered them up by pulling out his axe and examining the blade for nicks. “We have to find a way to rescue Brick and Boomer,” he explained to the others when he realized they were just looking at him for more information.
“They’re somewhere around the Liberty Memorial. That’ll give us two more sets of solid fighting arms to help rescue Lola and Lucy.”
“They texted me that they’re on top of the Coffee Plant on The Plaza,” Athena appended.
“That’s not good,” Tripper noticed, looking at the map they’d brought up on Sarah’s work computer. “They’re all right smack in the middle of the parade route.”
“Well, we’re going to have to find a way in and out. And then we need to find our families and get them to safety.”
“We’ll need to do some recon around town first,” Gus cautioned.
“And how do we do that with zombies crawling all over the city?” Trip exclaimed.
“You know what I do for a living. How about I climb that KCPT tower? I can get a great view of everywhere from up there and radio you what I see.”
“I am sorry; what did he say?” a deep, stilted voice asked from Trip’s lap.
“Hey Hef,” Gus answered, speaking louder so the man on the radio could hear him. “I’m going to climb the KCPT tower and do recon from there so the rest can find the safest path to pick everyone up.”
“I have some video equipment you can take up there and leave in place. It is solar and wind powered and we will be able to log in to it and operate it from a remote. It will view a full three-sixty if you can get it into a good spot.”
“Only place to do that would be up near the top, most likely, and I don’t think we have the time for that. Even if we do, I don’t have my helper.”
“What are you talking about, Guster Buster?” Scaggs asked.
Gus noticed that his spine did a little dance when she said his name. “I’m—I’m a rigger,” he explained.
“Shut yo mouth.” She snapped. “I’m sorry…a what?”
“You know those towers all around cities for TV stations and cell repeaters?” Tripper asked the wide-eyed starlet.
“Kind of hard to miss, don’t you think? They’re everywhere.”
“Ever wonder who changes the light bulbs on the top of those things?”
“No way!” she exclaimed with a delighted squeal. “You do that?”
He blushed and nodded.
“That’s awesome, dude. This is my new boyfriend here,” she pointed him out to the others with squared shoulders and pride shining in her dark brown eyes.
“Dude,” she turned back. “That must be the
coolest fracking job in the world!”
“Um, no.” Scooter shook his head avidly. “That job is for crazy people. I believe Gus is only a very shallow step down from a total sociopath. And I only say ‘step down’ because—and the others don’t believe me on this—I actually saw him express a genuine emotion once.”
“Anyone who goes up that high on a ladder has something wrong in his head,” Athena said matter-of-factly, nodding her agreement.
“Yeah, it’s like a thousand feet high and he’s up there without a harness half the time,” Tripper agreed.
“I wear a harness,” Gus countered.
“But you have to unhook it to climb.”
“But I’m not likely to fall when I’m climbing.”
“That’s exactly when most people fall, dude!” Trip argued.
“I think I’d love that job,” Scaggs actually moved closer to her new man, ignoring the continued, visually distracting consternation of Tripper.
“Well, I do need a helper. You sure you can handle the height? It’s kind of scary for most people.”
“Not to brag, but I once rode a bike on these thin boards across the tops of the Himalayas,” she bragged. “Hells yeah. I’d love to try this.”
“Oh my god,” Athena eyed the red-haired girl intensely. “You were absolutely right. You two are perfect for each other. You’re both crazy.”
“What kind of self-respecting geek is crazy enough to climb a thousand foot tower?” Felicia asked casually, not as impressed as Scaggs by any means. She also felt that particular interest bordered more on insanity rather than being a promising trait within a potential mate. So she said so.
“I think it scares me that you would like that,” she admitted. “Both of you.”
“It’s not hard to understand, really,” Gus explained. “I used to climb trees to get away from guys trying to beat me up. One day the trees weren’t tall enough and they came up after me, so I jumped to a building and started climbing it. Then I tried light poles and then whatever was nearest that could help me get away. It became a game. I realized I could embarrass them in front of their friends without running away, by daring them to climb things to get me—because so many people are afraid of heights, and bullies most of all. They would climb and then get too high and would freeze up, usually needing help to get down. But for some reason, I’m not afraid—”
“—cause you’re a borderline sociopath,” Scooter interjected. “You have to have emotions to have fear. You’re missing half of your emotional range.”
“Not to mention half of our IQ,” Trip added.
“Eventually I was climbing towers and buildings for fun,” Gus continued, ignoring his friends. “One day the owner of one of the tall towers caught me and offered me a job to change the lights. All I had to do is pass some tests and do a little training, but that’s how I found my bliss.”
“Yes, thank you for that touching insight, Bliss,” Hephaestus’ deep voice said from Trip’s speaker. “But is this going to be a long story? I am wondering how long it will take you girls to get here. I have some things to give you and I need a helper.”
“We have a helper for you,” Scooter said, leaning down into Trip’s radio, smacking Trip in the back of the head as the aforementioned lifted his hips from the couch and pushed Scooter’s face down with both hands.
“Does he know a crescent from a screwdriver?” the man on the other end asked.
“Does he know a what from a what?” Calvin joked. It was an old, inside joke that they had both outgrown a long time ago but couldn’t seem to stop using it.
“He says he’s a…what did he call himself?” Tripper asked.
“Wheelright?” Athena asked.
“Wain…right?” Trip said, clearly uncertain.
“Millwright,” Sarah corrected. “My uncle was one.
“Right,” Athena said.
“Yeah, that’s it.”
Hephaestus whistled. “That will do,” he added.
“He’s also a blacksmith at the Ren Fest. He made our armor for us.”
“Even better. Come quickly so you can go get our friends. I have a feeling time is not on our side and I have some nice little presents for you.”
“We’re gonna load up now, Hephaestus. Hopefully we’ll be there within thirty minutes…closer to fifteen if everything goes smoothly.”
“Be careful, Calvin.”
The group was shuffling out of the room when the doctor came out of the thick-walled office looking grim, almost ashen-faced, and pulled Calvin over. Athena followed, as did Joel.
“What’s wrong, Doc?” Calvin asked, a little concerned that the old man might be changing into a zombie.
“They…they’re considering a Phase Two Quarantine,” he said.
Calvin just looked at him blank-faced.
“Phase Two is firebombing the entire region.”
“Holy shit!” Joel coughed.
“Is that even legal?” Athena asked.
“Yes, I think that it is,” the doctor answered in a solemn voice.
“Isn’t that a little extreme?” Calvin asked the doctor.
“Yes. They are only considering it if they can’t get Phase One finished in time.”
“What’s phase one?” Joel asked.
“They’re going to wall off a one-hundred mile radius around Kansas City.”
“Can they do that?”
“Within hours, actually,” the doctor admitted.
“Well,” Calvin replied calmly. “Nothing we can do about that for now. How about your ride out of here?”
“They are planning to send in a military team to take me out. I asked them to take you all as well, but they refused.”
“Don’t worry, Doc, I get it,” Calvin said.
“Yeah, it’s not your fault,” Calvin added. “Trip may have saved your life, but we haven’t done anything for them.”
“Well, by keeping me safe you may have saved millions, and that should matter to them,” Doc practically gnashed his teeth in anger.
“Listen, Doc, we have to go out for a bit. Would you mind holding down the fortress?” Calvin asked politely.
“I see. Leave the old guy back to die. My fortunes abound.”
“You know it’s nothing like that. You should be completely safe here. If you want, I’ll leave Sarah back here with you. You’ve seen how sharp a shot she is. But we need someone here to keep an eye on things; you can serve several purposes being that guy.”
“For instance?”
“For instance, you’ve just shown how important it is for you to keep in touch with your people so we’ll know what we need to do and maybe when to get out of here. Also, you’re a better shot than nearly everyone here so you can be in the balcony helping anyone in the street who needs it. We’ll run the radio out to the balcony before we go.”
“I’m not sure a radio speaker on the balcony is a good idea,” Athena cautioned, brushing her dark hair back and putting it into a pony tail so she could put her helmet back on. “The sound might attract unwanted visitors.”
“Well, we’ll hook up headphones so the sound doesn’t travel all over downtown. But the main reason I would like you to stay here is that we kind of need you to stay safe since you’re the only one who knows the science side of this.”
“Yes, I would think you’d want me with you so you could protect me.”
“From what Tripper tells me, you can take care of yourself, Doctor,” Calvin pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
“True,” the older man smiled.
“But we still don’t know what’s out there waiting for us. You should be safe in here, and I think that’s the most important thing right now. If they send a team in to get you, it’s better that they’re not chasing you all over town. They’ll know exactly where to come and get you. You’re the most important person here right now, sir. You’ll just have to accept that.”
“I kind of feel like I’m abandoning you to your fate,” the doctor said morosely.
“You might have it in your power to change our fates, Doc,” Athena pointed out.
“And there is an equal chance I might not be able to do anything at all.”
“We can’t think that way. We’re betting on you being able to make a difference. What you’ve got in that case may be our only hope.”
“We don’t even know if we can find the case,” the man muttered.
“We’ll look for it right after we get Lucy and Lola. Then we’ll have enough people to safely cover some ground…maybe.”
“And if the military gets here before then, what are we going to do?”
“Let them find the case,” Calvin said simply. “That’s the kind of stuff these teams are trained for. But if they can’t get you a ride out of here or something happens and this thing gets beyond their wall before you get safely out, we’ll take responsibility for finding the case and getting you someplace to work.”
“Ok, Calvin Hobbes,” The doctor said with an appreciative nod. “You have convinced me you do not just think I am a useless old man.”
“Far from it, Doctor. Trip says you’re a marksman. I would love to have you with us out there. Unfortunately, at this time you’re just too important.”
“Very well, I’ll set a table out on the patio and watch things from there.”
“Great! Thanks, Doc. Tripper is rerouting the security feeds into these monitors. Just change the input here. You’ll be able to use the monitor remote to switch camera angles and you can even put up a television split-screen if you want.”
“Outstanding.”
“Although, they’re already cutting us off, so there’s nothing on tv.”
“It’s the…my people, I guess you would say. They’re jamming all outgoing and incoming signals on certain public bandwidths until their plans are in place and they feel they have containment. They already have roadblocks up along the major roads and will be turning any refugees back this way.”
“So they may really build this wall?” Calvin asked.
“I would be surprised if the temporary wall is not already half in place.”
“Shit,” Joel spat. “Fucking government. Can’t take precautions to stop this from happening, but they sure are ready to kill us all to keep it hidden and under control.”