Highland Soldiers: The Enemy

by J. L. Jarvis

  Alex and Charlie spoke quietly by the fire, while Duncan went to Mari and said, “How are you, darlin’?”

  She shook her head. “I killed a man.”

  “To defend yourself. You had no choice.”

  His words did little to ease her troubled soul. There was little talk after that. Duncan took the last seat, next to Mari. He reached over and squeezed her hand for a moment to reassure her. He started to slip his hand from hers, but she held on. There they sat, staring into the flames.

  *

  The following day, Mari sat in St. Giles Cathedral and prayed. Duncan sat beside her and watched the tears trail down her cheeks. For a long while they sat there, until Duncan leaned over and said gently, “It’s time to go.”

  She looked at him with round shimmering eyes, and she nodded.

  As they left, she accepted his offered arm and clung mournfully to him. They stepped into the daylight. The sun brought into relief the uneven stone road and the shadows it left untouched on the stone walls around them. In silence, they walked. When they came to a close, Mari pressed her palm to Duncan’s arm, gently urging him to stay while she went into the shadows and wept.

  Duncan followed and stood at a distance as long as he could. Then he lay his hand on her shoulder. “Och, Mari.”

  She spun round as he reached his arms out. She flew to his embrace. When she’d cried herself dry of tears, she said, “Duncan, I pray and I pray, but I feel as though God will never forgive me.”

  With a force that looked almost like anger, Duncan said, “If there is anything to forgive, He has done so already. If that is not true, may God strike me dead right here on this spot.”

  Mari gasped. “Duncan, no! You must not speak so!”

  “Aye, well I’m still standing here, so you must believe that He forgives you.”

  “Then perhaps it is I who cannot forgive myself.”

  “Och, well then, to that I’d say that if God forgives you, who are you not to agree?”

  “I ken what you say. It makes sense. But my heart aches with the guilt. I have broken a commandment.”

  Duncan lifted her chin and gave her a dark, piercing look. “Lass, I have killed men in fights and in battles. I dinnae ken how many lives I have taken, but there’s one thing I ken. It never is easy, but sometimes it is necessary.”

  “A few days ago, I would have said that you’re wrong. I dinnae ken anymore.”

  “Well I do. We both ken what would have happened if you had not fought back.”

  “Aye. It was all I could think of. I could not let him do that to me.”

  “Then you did what you had to, aye?” Duncan wiped her eyes dry with his thumbs. Then he brushed strands of hair from her face. His gaze swept over her face and rested on her lips for a moment. “Give it time, lass.” He put his hands on her shoulders and held her at a safer distance.

  Reassured, Mari nodded.

  A pair of men brushed past them on their way through the close. Their admiring eyes settled upon Mari until Duncan pulled her possessively into his arms and glared at the men. When they were well on their way, Duncan said, “In the meanwhile, you are not alone. Nor will you be. I’ll be here.”

  Mari leaned her head on Duncan’s chest. Duncan stiffened and said, “So will Alex and Charlie and Hugh. We will help you through this.” With a quick kiss on the forehead, he led her back into the sunlight.

  *

  In the days that followed, Mari spent more time asleep than awake. One day she awoke at midday. When the shops opened after Hogmanay, the lads had bought a new mattress and bedding for Mari, and leines for themselves.

  Everything seemed to return to their former routine. Life looked very much like before, except at night Mari would not sleep alone. Alex, Charlie, and Hugh took turns sleeping on the floor between the window and bed. It was the only way Mari was able to sleep. For a third time, Duncan made an excuse to avoid his turn, and Alex took note. He talked Duncan into going out for a drink. Hugh joined them, leaving Charlie behind with Mari, so she would not be alone. Before long, Hugh was at the bar, his attentions fully engaged by a pretty young barmaid.

  Alex and Duncan sat at a small table nearby. With no warning, Alex asked him, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m having a dram.”

  “Do you think me daft? We’ve known one another since we were bairns.”

  “Aye,” said Duncan. “Long enough to be sure you’re a pain in the arse.”

  Alex leaned back and watched Duncan with narrowing eyes. “I’m not talking about having a dram, and you well know it.”

  Duncan looked away as if he had not heard.

  Alex narrowed his eyes. “I’ve seen you look at her.”

  Duncan cast a dark look sideways at Alex. “And I’ve seen you look at her, too.”

  “Aye. We all love her a little. But you love her a little too much.”

  Duncan stared into his drink, his face devoid of emotion. After a long silence, he said, “Did you never wonder why I went to sea?”

  “Well, no. I suppose that I thought you liked sailing.”

  “I hate sailing. It’s a wonder I havenae boaked my guts into the North Sea.”

  “How long has this gone on?”

  “Gone on? Nothing’s gone on. I left.”

  “And now that you’re back?”

  Duncan met Alex’s eyes with a caustic glare. “I will not dishonor Callum, if that’s what you’re afraid of. And you degrade Mari by even suggesting she might. I’ll take the insult myself. Once. But I will not let you shame Mari. She knows nothing of this. Nor will she, because we’ll not speak of it again.”

  Alex was numb from the shock of it. He’d suspected that Duncan might have grown fonder of Mari since Callum’s death, but he’d had no idea to what depth. He could have imagined this coming from Charlie, perhaps. Even Hugh. But Duncan? He was always the one with his feelings in check. He did nothing without careful thought.

  Duncan finished his drink and got up for another. He brought another for Alex. “I could not sleep in her room. I dinnae trust myself with her. I might do something rash.”

  With a sharp look, Alex leaned forward. “Like what?”

  Duncan saw Alex’s alarm and hastened to say, “By my sword, I’d not force myself on her! How could you think that?”

  Alex had seen Duncan this angry few times, and that was just as well. “Aye, sorry. It’s just that—”

  “It’s Mari,” he said, finishing Alex’s sentence.

  Alex barely hid his relief.

  Duncan stared at his drink with sad eyes. “I would never touch Mari without her wanting me to, but she is lonely. She could easily confuse that with other feelings. I’m not sure whether I could be honorable enough to help her to see the difference.”

  Alex did not disagree.

  Duncan leaned back and stared into his drink. “I’ve kept my distance from her, but it was easier when Callum was here.”

  “Callum?” Alex was troubled and made no effort to hide it. “You’ve been in love with her since before Callum died?”

  “Aye. And each time we’re alone, I’m fearing I might tell her. In time, anyone else would have noticed. Not Mari. She sees only the best in people. But Callum would have sorted it out. In that instant, two loves would have been ruined. A love between friends would have been lost to a love that would never have been. I never had Mari, and I could not betray Callum and lose my best friend. So I went away. It was better for everyone then.”

  “And now?” Alex asked him.

  “Now? It’s worse than before. Can I steal her heart from a ghost? No. Nor will I torment myself by lying an arm’s length away in the dark.”

  Alex eyed Duncan with sympathy. How had he not noticed?

  Duncan said, “And now Callum is gone. And I wonder each day if I could have done more to save him. He was in my hands when the ship went down.”

  Alex’s face grew ashen. “Are you saying…?”

  “No!” Duncan shut his eyes a
s though he could shut out the truth. “But I thought of it.”

  “But you did not act on it.” Desperate to hear the right answer, Alex said, “Duncan, tell me you did not act on it.”

  “No! But it haunts me. I had hold of his arms. I looked at him as I gripped his arms, and I held on. The force of our friendship was so powerful that I was certain it would see us through. Live or die, we would do it together. Then the wave hit, and I lost him. I see his face every morning and night. And I wonder if I did enough.”

  “What more could you have done?”

  “Not want Mari.”

  Alex looked at Duncan, who now seemed engrossed by the floor, and he wondered how Duncan had managed to hide it this long. But then, Alex knew of no secrets deeper than those of the heart. Nor was there a place further from logic. But logic had to rule now. Mari needed them all. She had left her home for a man who was gone. They were all that she had.

  “She depends on you now. But you know that,” said Alex.

  “Aye. She depends upon me to be a true friend. And each day I betray her.”

  “So what will you do?”

  Duncan finished his drink. “I’ll stay here until she is stronger. After that, she’ll have you and Charlie and Hugh. Take her home to the Highlands and see that she’s settled. She needs a home, and a family.”

  “And you?”

  “I’ll go back out to sea.” Duncan got up and went to the bar for more drinks.

  *

  They returned home to find Mari’s brother there, talking with her while Charlie eyed Jamie warily.

  Jamie said, “Richard Cameron’s going to save Scotland.”

  “Is he now?” said Mari.

  Duncan knew that tone of voice. She was trying to show Jamie respect, but she did not agree. Duncan took Charlie’s arm and pulled him into the other room. “Damn it, what were you thinking, letting him in here?”

  “He’s her brother. She insisted. What was I to say?”

  “No.” Duncan leveled a glare that made even Charlie uneasy.

  “Duncan, he’s the only family she’s got.”

  Duncan growled, “We’re the only family she’s got. We were the ones here with her when she needed him most. Where was he?”

  Charlie met his bitter glare without flinching. Alex said quietly, “Calm yourself, lad.”

  “He posed no threat to her,” Charlie said, as he put a few steps between them.

  Duncan barely bit back his rage. “Callum’s dead because of what her brother did—or have you forgotten?” He looked away. The damage was done. All he could do was stand by and be there when she needed him. And she would. And each time that she leaned on him, his heart would break just a little bit more.

  Tense silence sparked between the three men.

  In the other room, Jamie pled, “I cannot work to support myself. Mari, please, I’m doing the Lord’s work.”

  “Is that what it was when you ran off and left Callum to take your place?”

  “I did not mean for him to.”

  “You may as well have.”

  “Would you rather it had been me on that ship?”

  Her eyes flashed as she met his eyes squarely. “I’m not sure anymore.”

  “That’s a fine thing to say to your brother.”

  “‘Twas a fine thing you did—killing my husband.”

  “You cannot blame me for that, Mari.”

  “And what if it had been Ellen? Tell me you would not feel the same.”

  “Mari, I’m sorry. Truly I am. But if God’s purpose is served—”

  “I’ll hear no more of this.” She stood and started to go to the sitting room, but stopped short. She looked back. “I cannot help you. I’m sorry.”

  “At least give me some money for food.”

  “I will feed you, but that’s all.”

  “Mari—”

  “No. I’ve no money of my own, and I will not dishonor Callum by giving you his.”

  “Mari, please!” He grasped her shoulders and shook her.

  Duncan lunged toward him, but Hugh reached him first, swinging a punch that knocked Jamie to the floor.

  “Hugh, no! He’s my brother.”

  Hugh turned to her. “Mari, I will not stand here and allow him to treat you—” He stopped with his mouth open, and looked down. He touched his side and looked at his hand, red with blood.

  Charlie pinned Jamie face down to the floor, while Alex forced a knife from his hand.

  Hugh looked at Mari as if puzzled, then reached his bloody hand toward her and fell into her arms. Duncan helped lower Hugh to the floor.

  Charlie gripped Jamie’s neck. “You damned weasel!”

  Alex pulled Charlie off. “Think of Mari.”

  Mari cradled Hugh in her arms. “Jamie, what have you done?”

  “He’s one of them. Or have you forgotten, now that you are their whore?”

  “On your feet, you wee bastard!” Duncan joined Charlie in practically lifting Jamie into the air. Duncan jabbed him in the side and swung at his jaw.

  Duncan said, “I’ll take care of him, Charlie. Go see to your brother.”

  Mari had already started to tear strips of cloth from her shift and wrap it around Hugh’s waist. Alex finished the job while Mari rushed to Duncan. “Stop. You’ll kill him.”

  Duncan did as she asked, but gripped Jamie’s shirt and said softly, “If anything happens to Hugh, I will find you and finish this.”

  Hearing this, Hugh said, “Is it bad as all that?”

  Alex dismissed it with a smirk. “No. But if ye dinnae lie back, I can make it so.”

  Hugh obeyed, mainly because he had no strength to do otherwise.

  Duncan and Charlie hauled Jamie through the door and down onto the street. “If you were not Mari’s brother, you’d be dead now, you ken?”

  “But if we see you again, best come dressed for your funeral,” added Duncan.

  Jamie scowled, but ran as soon as Charlie released him.

  Charlie went back upstairs and found Hugh cradled in Mari’s arms. Doing his best to hide his concern to see Hugh looking so pale, Charlie said, “Well look at you. Some lads have all the luck.”

  Mari tried to smile.

  Alex said, “I’ll need to have a look before I stitch him up, hen. Would you fetch me a needle and thread, and then heat up some water?”

  Mari brought a pillow and gently slid it beneath Hugh’s head, and then saw to the rest.

  She had just put the kettle over the fire when Hugh said, “Callum? Does this mean I’m dead?”

  Chapter 20

  “No, you’re not dead, and nor am I,” Callum said, as he stood in the doorway and forced an encouraging grin. Then a movement caught his eye.

  Mari had been stirring the coals, but the sound of that voice made her halt.

  Callum now had a beard and strange clothes, and he wondered if she would even know him. Each weary step of his journey back to her had been driven by longing for this moment.

  Mari turned slowly, reluctant to find out that she was mistaken. “Callum?”

  He held out his arms. She flew to him and buried her face in his chest and sank into the feel of his body against hers. Her lips grazed his neck as Callum held her face and kissed her.

  With eyes fixed on the reunion, Alex held a flask out in Duncan’s direction. With a quick glance, he said quietly, “You’ll be wanting this.”

  Charlie overheard and said with a smirk, “Why? Hugh’s the one being stitched up.” He looked at Callum. “By hell, where have you been?”

  “Not far from it, as it turns out.”

  Duncan drank and offered the flask back to Alex, who took one look at Duncan and pushed the flask back.

  Mari led Callum to a chair, while Alex began stitching up Hugh’s wound. Mari brought Callum a dram and then sat on the floor beside him. She rested her head on his knee, but looked up often to convince herself it was real.

  He told of his journey, and when he had finished, Mari sa
id, “No more talk. I’m taking you to bed.”

  Charlie lifted an eyebrow.

  “He needs sleep. He’s exhausted,” Mari said, as color flushed her cheeks.

  “Ignore these unmannerly rogues,” Callum said, as he rose to his feet with no small effort. “I’ll deal with them later. I can see nothing’s changed,” he said over his shoulder with a smile. But despite his good spirits, he was weary and weak. He put his arm over Mari’s shoulder, and leaned on her as she held him by the waist and led him to the bedroom.

  After closing the door, Callum lay on the bed, clothes and all, and reached out for her. “Come here beside me.” She pulled a quilt over Callum and slipped into bed, fitting her body against his. He drew her close and held her in the sturdy arms for which she had yearned so many nights. “Och, my Mari, I missed you.” His worn body dragged him into a deep sleep. Mari lay on her side and did not tire of watching him until she drifted into her own sleep.

  *

  “Mari.” Callum slid his hand under her neck and cupped her head in his palm. She slept. Brushing his lips to her ear, he spoke in a deep, quiet whisper. “So many times just the thought of you kept me alive. Mari, love, I want you so.” He pressed his lips to her neck and trailed kisses back to her ear as he whispered, “Wake up, lass.” He rolled onto her gently and slid his hand to her breast.

  Mari’s scream cut through the air. Duncan burst through the door. “Mari!”

  He found Mari trembling in Callum’s arms.

  Callum held her shoulders and searched her face. “What is it, love?”

  “I thought it was—” She stopped as her eyes drifted to Duncan. Feeling Callum’s eyes on her, her eyes darted back to him. “It was a bad dream.”

  Duncan opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it as Callum enfolded Mari into his arms. It was not his place to comfort her now. He went to the window and checked to make sure no one was outside. Then he left, closing the door gently behind him.

  *

  As he watched the door close, Callum said, “‘Twas more than a dream.”