The Queen's Envoy (The Barsetshire Diaries)

by Lord David Prosser

  Plasters on, I went to the lounge where Lady J was just putting down the phone. “Bertie will be here at 8:00 am, dear, he says it's urgent”.

  “Thank you sweetie”, I said. “Did he give you any inkling of what he wants?”

  “No inkling at all, David, but I suggest you get dressed before he arrives”.

  Taking the suggestion on board, I returned to my room and got ready while looking jealously at the cat snuggled down in my bed. I had time for a coffee as it was only 7.30 am when I had finished dressing. I made one for Lady J, who came through ready to face the day when I put the kettle on.

  “I'll just have this and go and put Pilgrim in his field”, she told me. “You'll no doubt want to speak privately with Bertie”.

  “Righto”, was all I replied,

  Lady J drank her coffee and left a few minutes before the infamous Rolls Royce appeared, and Bertie got out. He looked quite flustered, a state I'd not seen him in before. He usually appeared quite relaxed and unflustered.

  “David”, he said as he came in. “This is urgent and I hope you're free for an immediate departure”.

  “I'm free”, I responded, trying very hard not to mimic the very camp catchphrase used in a popular television programme. “As for leaving now, I could do that if I felt the same sense of urgency that you're currently displaying”.

  Sitting down, Bertie told me that they (his department) had heard of a threat to Sultan Ibrahim of Beritana, and that he was going to be assassinated. His death would be likely to threaten the oil agreement we had, and the government wanted me to be the one to warn him. Mentioning that I was surprised that no one had just picked up a phone, I said that as I had a fondness for the sultan and his family, I would go right away. Bertie looked relieved for a moment and then regained his usual impenetrable manner.

  Lady J arrived home at this point and engaged Bertie in idle chatter while looking directly at me.

  “So you're off again today, dear, I'd better pack you a bag”.

  I don't know how she knew, as neither of us had said a word.

  Bertie stood up to leave and as he did so, he passed me an envelope which contained my plane ticket and a large amount of cash for expenses. He made a small bow to Julia, wished us both goodbye and left.

  “Will you be all right on your own, Julia?” I asked, since we had not been apart since Ysabel had left home last year to move into her own flat. “You could come with me if I can arrange it”, I told her.

  “Don't be silly, dear”, she responded. “Grizelda could look after Oscar, but who would see to Pilgrim at such short notice? I'll be fine, now let’s get this bag sorted and get you out of my hair”.

  Bag sorted and with my passport in hand, Julia ran me to the airport, gave me a quick hug and then departed again for home, leaving me standing where I'd so often stood before, in the departure lounge.

  A young man approached and kindly offered to carry my bag to the plane for me. I accepted gratefully.

  On the plane, it turned out that we were seated together, and I hoped that that would make the journey all the more pleasant. I was wrong!!

  “I say, aren't you Lord David Prosser of the Buthidar Peace Movement?”

  “I am indeed”, I responded.

  “Well”, he said, “I'm a member but I've been thinking of leaving, as you allow too many foreigners to join”.

  “That's the whole point”, I answered. “Peace is something that should be worldwide. Peace is something that should cross all racial barriers”.

  “I understand that”, he told me, “but how can you allow our enemies to join and learn about us?”

  “We have no enemies”, I told him. “Those who join can see that we have no ulterior motives other than friendship and if they dislike it, and if they don't agree with us, they can leave. Those that stay are committed to the peace between us that I want”.

  “I see”, he said, “but some of them will not want what we do, they will view our love for peace as a weakness”.

  “Then they will be disappointed, as our friendship with other people is a strength not a weakness”. I closed.

  He seemed determined to undermine the arguments and I wondered why someone who feared others so much had joined. But, I hoped that I had argued enough to convince him that we were right and that he could help by bringing others to the cause. I decided not to hold my breath waiting though.

  When we departed the plane, I saw him in the airport talking to a group of Hare Krishna followers and trying to convert them as though the Buthidars was a new religion.

  I saw Mustapha Phag as I passed through customs and he waved to me. The porter carried my bags to where he stood and I followed.

  “Hello, old chap”, he said. “Welcome back. I'll put your bags in the car and we'll be off”.

  “How on earth did you know I was coming?” I asked.

  “Sir Bertram phoned the Sultan and asked if he'd mind a visit from you and of course Ibrahim said he'd be delighted. He asked me to pick you up, as a friendly face is always good to see”.

  “As always, Mustapha, it's a delight to see you”, I told him.

  We got into the car, and on the journey to Beritana, Mustapha pointed out the same things that he'd pointed out on my previous visit, but each time asking me if I remembered what it was. Luckily I did remember the majority of them, and he seemed pleased.

  When we arrived at the palace, Mustapha handed over my bags to a servant and I went to the room that had been readied for my arrival.

  “Dinner will be at 6:00 pm, Lord”, said the servant as he departed.

  So, at 6 of the clock I was ready and made my way down to the dining room I had known previously. Sultan Ibrahim was there and hugged me. “I'm so glad to see you again, David, and after so long”.

  “I'm delighted to be able to return again, Your Highness. I'm grateful for your hospitality. It has been far too long”, I replied.

  “You remember Suki, I'm sure”, he said moving aside to reveal a young girl of twelve who had grown to be so pretty, and yet still recognisable as the little child I'd met before.

  “Hello, Uncle Daud”, she said, shyly offering her hand to be shaken.

  “It's a delight to see you again, Suki”, I said, pulling her into a hug. “I've always remembered my young friend”.

  She returned the hug with a chuckle and said “And I remember also the lord who let me sit on his knee and who told me stories”.

  We moved around the room to greet people, and Ibrahim explained that his wife Jenny was unwell and wouldn't be joining us. He placed me at his right hand at the low table, at which I felt honoured. Suki took the seat to my right.

  I heard a clap of hands and the meal was brought in and placed upon the table. Lamb and rice is a staple dish and I was strangely glad to see that the Sultan shared his people's simple tastes.

  During the meal I said nothing to Ibrahim of the reason for my visit. We chatted generally about things of common interest and I was happy that Suki was able to join in. When we discussed art, she showed a good knowledge of painters and styles, and was able to take a leading part in the conversation. I could see from the pride displayed on Ibrahim's face that he adored Suki, and I could see that same love reflected on hers.

  As the meal ended, Ibrahim dismissed the servants and leaned back on his cushions. “Suki”, he said, “please go and check on your mother before bed. You shall have a chance to talk to your Uncle Daud tomorrow, but tonight he and I have things to discuss”.

  Suki hugged her father and wished him goodnight. She turned to me and told me that she'd be happy to see me in the morning and then she hugged me before turning and leaving the room.

  “So, David, it's a delight to have you back here, but I'd be glad to know what situation actually brought you back”.

  “Your Highness”, I started, before I was reminded to call him Ibrahim. “I've been informed that there is a plot to assassinate you. It seems not to be the usual palace plotting, and I was sent to
warn you of the situation and to help where I can”.

  “That is kind, David, and I'm glad it was you they sent, but what help can you be if we don't know where the threat is coming from?”

  “If the worst happened, Ibrahim, and an assassin was successful, then I would ensure Jenny and Suki got safely away, knowing that they could not run the country in such circumstances, and also that they may be targets themselves. But, I don't want that to happen. Let’s see first if we can foil this plot. Tell me two things. Firstly, who would inherit your title if you were gone, and secondly, who disagrees the most with the way you run the country?”

  “David, I thank you for your concern and for the offer of help. If the worst were to happen, at least I should know that Jenny and my little Suki would be safe. To answer your questions, my cousin Sheikh Rattlnroll would become Sultan on my death as he has a large following. But, we are friends as well as cousins and I think he would run the country in a similar way. His staff seem to be friendly towards me too. As for the second question, that's more complicated. There are two main groups who dislike me. A fundamental group called 'The arms of Allah', who think I am too westernised, and a group of American businessmen who think they could run the oil fields better than the British-trained locals who do it now. They may be right, but it's obviously important to me that my own people do it”.

  “Thank you Ibrahim. I'd be grateful if I could think on this a little before we speak of it again”.

  Ibrahim wished me goodnight and we parted, I to my room to complete my journal before sleep, and I now wish you goodnight.

  Friday, July 9, 1999

  Mustapha Asks a Favor

  I awoke fresh this morning and was delighted to find that Ibrahim had arranged for suitable robes to be left for me. They had proved to be comfortable on my last visit. I took a shower and was just washing myself when I heard a voice.

  “Good morning, David, I wonder if I may bend your ear for a minute?”

  I realised that it was Mustapha and asked if he'd wait until I had finished in the shower. I rinsed myself off and wrapped a towel around me before stepping into the bedroom.

  “Good morning Mustapha, what can I do for you, my friend?” I asked.

  “David, I don't fully know why you're here, but I've heard that there is a threat to Ibrahim and I want to ask if you're here because of that”.

  “I came over to warn Ibrahim of a plot, Mustapha, but I stay here as a friend”.

  “I accept that, David, and I want you to know that I will do anything I can to help you save my Sultan and the kingdom. I shall now go about my duty and ask that we may share any news we hear”.

  “Gladly”, I told him. “Ibrahim is an exceptional man”.

  Mustapha left, and I dressed and went down to a breakfast of fruit and found Suki waiting for me.

  “So, Uncle Daud, I may be too big for your stories now but I hope I will still be able to enjoy your company?”

  “Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Suki. Perhaps we could walk together in the Souk today?”

  “Wonderful”, she said, “I shall be ready when you finish eating”.

  True to her word, within minutes of breakfast Suki was at my side, and arms linked, we wound our way down to the old town and the souk.

  “Tell me of your family, Uncle Daud”, asked Suki.

  I told her about everyone at home and mimicked some of them for her amusement. She knew that I would want gifts for Lady J and Ysabel and took me to a part of the souk where they made jewellery. I managed to haggle a price on gifts to take home. Accepting the Arab hospitality towards guests, when I had finished my purchase, I risked a stomach ulcer by sharing a cup of the thick, sweet coffee they favour.

  Suki was a delight to be with and we spent much of our time in the souk laughing until she asked me point blank why I was here. I was a little taken aback and unable to think of a convincing lie, so I told her the truth - that I'd heard of a threat and was here to help if I could. Suki hugged me and said she wanted to help in any way she could too.

  Back at the palace we separated while Suki went for a ride. I was secretly glad to be alone for a few minutes so that I could snoop where I wanted. A little while later, I found Mustapha in the throne room and asked him to tell me about any new staff that had been taken on recently.

  “Well”, he said, “there has been a new tutor for Suki, a new groom for the Royal stables, a groundsman to look after the small private garden and a new officer in the Royal Guard”.

  “Thank you, Mustapha. These are people I must look at and we must also ensure that from now on people are checked when they come before Ibrahim for audience”.

  “I agree”, he said, “we must be extra vigilant from now on”.

  “Yes, but we mustn't arouse suspicions or we'll never catch the assassin”, I told him.

  I was left pretty much to my own devices for the rest of the day. Suki had her lessons and obviously Mustapha had his duties. I strolled around the palace, noting places that I thought would be good for an assassin to hide, and generally just saying hello to all the staff to familiarise myself with their faces.

  At dinner, Suki sat by me and chatted. She also introduced her tutor who sat at her other side. Ibrahim was opposite me tonight and seemed deep in conversation with Mustapha. There was still no sign of Jenny, and I guessed she was still unwell.

  After dinner I excused myself and came up to my room to retire early.

  Saturday, July 10, 1999

  The Holiday-Day

  At breakfast this morning, I was tired as my sleep seemed to have been patchy. This was probably due to the calls from the muezzin to bring the faithful to prayer. Perhaps the sound had carried more this morning, or maybe they knew that I was here and accordingly used a bigger megaphone.

  Suki was in the dining room and rose from the table as I entered.

  “Uncle Daud”, she said. “Today I declare a holiday and I want to spend it with you. After you have eaten, we will go and say hello to Nightshade, yes?”

  I agreed gladly and sat down to eat a quick meal of grapes. Picking up two apples, I started to eat one and I put the other in my pocket. Then seeing the impatience on Suki's face, I followed her to the stables to say hello to her beautiful horse.

  Nightshade came quickly to the stable door as he heard Suki's voice and snickered at the sight of her. The affection was obvious and mutual as she put her arms around his neck and brought her face up to his. She spoke softly into his ear and then stood back saying, “You can give him the apple you brought for him, Uncle Daud. He knows it's in your pocket and is grateful for your thoughtfulness”.

  I put the apple in the palm of my hand and offered it. Nightshade nodded his head and neighed as if to say thank you, and then with such care he leaned down and bit the apple in half, chewed, swallowed and picked up the second half. He had been so gentle that I knew I had no need to count my fingers before I left.

  Suki and I talked as she groomed Nightshade and refilled his hay net, these being jobs for which I knew staff were paid and which they were willing to do. I knew then that I cared very much for Suki, a princess with no pretensions and who cared for animals and people alike with love. Quite a rare find amongst those who often treated servants with total disdain and contempt. I think my mind must have wandered for a minute until I realised that Suki was tugging on my sleeve.

  “Uncle Daud, I am going to trust you with a secret. I know you will tell no one, but as you are so kind to me and my family you should know this”. With that, Suki tugged on the hay rack at the back of Nightshade's stall. It tilted as though she'd pulled it off and I moved to catch it. As I did so, there was a clicking sound and part of the back wall slid open.

  “Come”, she said, “follow me”.

  I did so and entered a dark passageway, where I promptly tripped over and landed on my hands for support. I heard a small chuckle followed by, “Mind the step, Uncle Daud”.

  I heard the door slide closed behind me and t
hen with a click there was light.

  “We've had electricity installed since this was built, Uncle Daud, though of course we had to kill all the electricians who worked on it”, said Suki with a straight face.

  My mouth must have opened in shock before she said, “Be careful you don't catch flies like that, my uncle. Actually we just used electricians from abroad to do the job then sent them home, as I hate cleaning up blood”. She laughed then and remarked how serious I looked.

  “Where does this passageway lead to, Suki?” I asked with a smile at her antics.

  “One way is down to the dungeons, one way to the throne room and one to the bedrooms”, she answered. “But there are spy holes from the passages to most of the ground floor rooms”, she added, which gave me an idea.

  “Suki, can you show me all the entrances and exits, please, where all the light switches are, before I fall again, and how to open and close all the doors?”

  I could see her wondering if she had made a mistake and if I could be trusted with all this information, but her decision was rapid.

  “Of course, Uncle Daud. But... if I do so, you must agree to tell me if you find anything out about who wants to kill my father”.

  “Deal”, I said sticking out a grimy hand from where I'd fallen. Suki ignored the hand and instead came close enough to give me a peck on the cheek and a hug. I hugged her back gladly. This delightfully bright child had made it easy for me to watch people and to see if I could solve the mystery of who wanted the sultan dead.

  We spent the rest of the morning going round the ground floor and upper floor passages where Suki showed me all the spy holes and all else that I had asked for. One passageway even opened into my bedroom, and I wondered if Mustapha knew of it and had used it to get into my bedroom previously.