Sometimes Love

by Victoria Kennedy

  Once we were all the way inside the house, it was evident that someone had painstakingly cleaned and polished each solitary item in the living room. Everything seemed to be in a designated place and not allowed to be moved. Humphrey had inherited this knack for cleanliness. The rooms were so unlived in, the house made me feel uncomfortable. His mother appeared to check my actions for a reaction as I took it all in and I wasn’t going to disappoint her.

  “Mrs. Pearson, you have a lovely home.”

  “Thank you, Dear.” Her posture straightened as she replied with a tight smile and a slight flare of her nostrils. She accepted my praise with modesty but her pride was obvious. She moved toward the dining room table and pulled a chair out for me.

  “Mama, that’s my job,” Humphrey chided.

  She smiled, as he walked toward us then called her daughters to come help in the kitchen. After I was seated, Humphrey sat next to me, at the end. I imagined it was considered the head of the table and understood to be his place. It was clearly a role that was celebrated in the matriarchal structure of his family. The special treatment he received didn’t seem to have spoiled him but if it had, I would have understood.

  His every wish was their command. For two hours, I watched as they lauded him with compliments, waited on him hand and foot, and extended him the authority to make important decisions in their lives: Should the twins transfer to Georgetown or stay at Howard for Law School; Should Pia go to the new daycare or stay at home until she’s older… It was like watching Michael Corleone give instructions to his family. He was the crown prince of the Pearson clan. I made a mental note to ask him if he expected that to continue, once we got married.

  Eventually, the dishes were cleared and Prince Humphrey requested his mother’s rum punch be served. Marlene was ordered to fetch the heady, island concoction from the basement while Monica got the crystal stemware out of the china cabinet. Mrs. Pearson poured a generous portion for each of us and Madonna stood to toast the occasion: Humphrey’s and my engagement.

  “May you have a long and loving life together. A life founded on truth and loyalty.”

  She spoke with a wistful look in her eye and a wish far too sentimental for our family dinner, which drew a stern look from her mother.

  Madonna excused herself abruptly from the table and departed to the upstairs. The twins snickered amongst themselves, as they seemed to be humored by a private joke, regarding the recent interruption. At that, Mrs. Pearson silenced them with a searing look. The smiles were wiped right off of their faces. She was the little general in command of her troops. She cut her eyes over to Humphrey who gave an affirmative nod, as if saying she acted appropriately.

  Madonna seemed a bit fragile and delicate in both appearance and demeanor. She carried herself like someone seeking permission with every step, afraid to make the wrong move or utter the wrong words at the wrong time. She reminded me of fi china that would break if handled too roughly. To my surprise, she emerged minutes later with company—her cherubic daughter, slung over her hip with chubby brown legs and still-drowsy eyes, her fat fingers holding on for dear life. She was a pretty child with cinnamon brown skin, big dark eyes and a dimpled chin. Her mother carried her directly to Uncle Humphrey who promptly relieved his sister of the baby. Her eyes lingered on her mother for comfort until she finally laid her head on his chest allowing him to savor her baby softness and to smell her sweet baby smell. He was gentle with her and handled her with a familiarity that let me know he was no stranger to childcare.

  “See? Babies love me.” He maintained eye contact with me, while he cuddled the baby.

  “I see. I guess that could be a good thing. Children usually have a keen sense for weeding out the bad guys.”

  “That means I’m a good guy, right?”

  “According to your niece, you’re a really good guy.”

  It wasn’t long before she was eating out of his hands, literally.

  She warmed up to him, as if he’d been with her all of her life.

  Mrs. Pearson began clearing the table and forbade anyone to help her. She wanted us all to get acquainted. I think she really meant for them all to get warmed up to me. It seemed Humphrey and Madonna were close, having grown up together in London. I watched them sitting off to the side of the room engaged in heavy conversation and taking turns with Pia. Their relationship was natural with each other, but their relationship with the twins seemed awkward at times. Marlene and Monica weren’t very sociable and if they had that family smile, they weren’t eager to display it. Most of the night, they sat in a huddle completely oblivious of everyone else or talked on the phone.

  By midnight, I was ready for the ride back home. I was tired, all talked out and frankly, tired of socializing. I found myself under his mother’s scrutiny too many times to completely relax and the twins studied me equally, only they did so quietly. It was unnerving. They didn’t seem interested in warming up at all and I didn’t plan to convince them. Under Humphrey’s attention, Madonna had opened up like a sleeping flower but at least, she did open up. She and Pia saved the night for me. They were the most pleasant and closest to the behavior I was used to in a family. On the front porch, once again, we said our good-byes.

  Humphrey’s mother hugged him around the waist and he kissed the top of her silver-flecked crown. When she hugged me, her body was stiff but her words were warm. She pressed her cheek against mine.

  “Welcome to the family, daughter. If you need any help with the wedding plans, give me a call.”

  “Yes, Ma’am, I will. We haven’t actually set a date yet, but you’ll be among the first to know.”

  “Good, maybe now that you are in the picture, I’ll get to see my son more often.”

  I didn’t know if that last remark was supposed to be sad or sarcastic but sounded like a bit of both. It was important that I impress her and I didn’t think I had.

  The baby was fully active by then. She giggled loudly and enunciated her words remarkably for her age. Tears welled up in Madonna’s eyes as we said good-bye, then Pia’s happy sounds quickly turned to cries as Humphrey handed her back to her mother and we walked to my car. He looked back, as if he could change his mind. Once again, I saw the longing in his eyes I noticed on our first date and wondered if children were the key to his fairy tale. I squeezed his waist and we continued on our way. The drive back home was peaceful. The highway was pitch black at night, almost like driving on a long country road with double lanes. We were listening to the Quiet Storm and they were playing every love song imaginable from old school to present day, almost crooning me to sleep. Humphrey caressed my hand as we rode along in silence. There was no need for words; the songs were saying everything we were feeling. And they were doing a beautiful job.

  When we got back to the house, I instantly perked up as I recalled Humphrey’s promise before we left. I planned to totally comply by allowing Humphrey to make sweet love to me— thoroughly. There was no sense of urgency, nowhere to go and nothing else to do but each other, until our passion was spent.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I’d finally settled into Humphrey’s apartment. We were three weeks into making a pat tern for our life together, making our own rhythm. Having discarded most of my old wardrobe,

  I didn’t have much to speak of. My new clothes were already there and the only furniture I’d moved in was an old vanity table handed down by my mother’s mother. Its oak veneer fit in with the warm woods and autumn tones of his bedroom.

  I was getting to know his friends (the few he had) and he was finally going to meet Phillip and Patrice. We were invited to their place for a Sunday brunch, then we were all going to a poetry reading at a gallery in Chelsea. The poets were friends with Patrice and the night’s performance was going to be filmed. I had been staying in New York a lot for nearly three months, yet I’d only seen my brother once. He was so consumed with his impending wedding. That particular morning, he looked happy and content with his life. I was shocked to see that he
was starting to lock his hair. It was obvious Patrice had influenced his personal style. I wondered if people felt the same about my new look and my new relationship. But Phillip looked well. I couldn’t ask for more than that.

  I had been excited about introducing Phillip to Humphrey for the first time. But it seemed impossible for us to be on the same page at the same time. When we were available, he and Patrice weren’t or Phillip would have something going on at the gallery. Me…I had plenty of time on my hands. I’d made every excuse imaginable as to why we couldn’t get together, taking our inconvenient schedules as a bad sign. Eventually, Phillip stopped asking. Now he had a lot on his plate, with the wedding and preparing the house in Baltimore to be put back on the market. Patrice made the last attempt at organizing a gathering between us and it just so happened the timing was right. A gathering was long overdue.

  At first sight, my brother and fiancé seemed to rub each other the wrong way. It was amusing when Humphrey tried to use his size to intimidate Phillip by stretching to his full height and holding his chest taut, his arms flexed. But my brother was no slouch. He possessed some power in his physique too, just not the big, muscular kind. He was in excellent shape—tall, lean, and sinewy. Phillip wasn’t threatened, in the least. He checked Humphrey out, automatically sizing him up. When their eyes met, Phillip’s usual smile turned into a smirk. And the challenge was on. What should have been a regular handshake, looked like a test of strength.

  “Okay, break it up. Y’all are going to have to sniff each other out and arm-wrestle another time. Patrice and I are ready to eat. Aren’t we, Patrice?”

  “We sure are. Men, let’s eat.”

  She was a congenial hostess. Although I was sure Phillip had prepared the food, her feminine touch was evident in the way it was presented. Not unlike myself, Phillip had been experimenting with a new way of eating and trying new recipes. There were no pork or dairy products on the table. My brother had changed. No question about it, Patrice was on her job. I just wasn’t sure how much I liked her handiwork.

  I wanted to be able to still recognize him. He, however, appeared oblivious to anything that concerned me. The only thing he seemed concerned with was Patrice. He doted on her the entire time and catered to her every whim. The last time I’d visited with him, he was spilling his guts about a guilty conscience and how his secrets might ruin his chance at a happy life with her. According to his behavior, worrying was a thing of the past. I knew she was a psychologist and would have sworn he’d been hypnotized because he was a conquered man with no objections. I couldn’t wait for the rest of the family to witness the miracle of Phillip’s taming.

  His new demeanor, however, was the only thing that remained tame for the rest of my visit. Brunch was a disaster. Over the course of one hour, I witnessed Phillip and Humphrey constantly clash over one thing after the other. They disagreed about sports. They took opposite positions on the Mumia Abu Jamal controversy. They argued over the best movies and who the best movie stars were, including the best-looking actresses. You name it. When one said ‘yes’ the other was bound to say ‘no’. What ensued was a communication meltdown. Since I was caught in the middle of their sparring match, it was hard for me to be objective and Patrice looked helpless, like a rabbit caught in a snare. If I was going to be honest though, I’d have to admit Humphrey seemed to be goading Phillip into an all-out war and I didn’t know why.

  I didn’t know a man more easy-going than my brother but when he was provoked, he knew how to lash out, too.

  “What is going on with you two? I can’t take the bickering anymore.” I was becoming impatient with them both.

  “Where did you meet this man,” asked Phillip in an annoyed voice.

  “Right at your front door. Remember?”

  “I thought I taught you not to talk to strangers.”

  “Wasn’t Patrice a stranger until you said hello?” Humphrey jumped in with both feet.

  “And you’re still a stranger, after the hello because you’re just strange.”

  “No. I’m not strange.” Humphrey’s voice rose a decibel or two. “I can tell you’re not used to a challenge and I thrive on one.”

  “Whatever, man.”

  I was so disappointed I didn’t know what to do or say after their hostile sparring. I did know this was not an afternoon I wanted to extend. It was best we left, as soon as possible.

  “I really think we should call it a day, guys. I thought we were going to chill. These fireworks are a bit much for me.”

  “You don’t have to leave.” Phillip flashed Humphrey a look of pure hatred.

  “I think we should Phil, but I’ll call you tonight.” Humphrey was at the height of cockiness. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  “I’m coming, Humphrey. Can’t I say good-bye to our host and hostess? Where are your manners?”

  “I’m the guest who has been insulted and you ask me where are my manners? Where is your brain?”

  His insult stopped me mid-sentence and prompted Phillip to fling some biting words of his own.

  “Don’t disrespect my sister. I don’t know what she sees in you, but you are one arrogant asshole who obviously doesn’t know a lady when he sees one.”

  “Man, you can’t talk to me about nothing. You don’t know what respect is. You think being here in your cozy place with your woman makes you a respectable man. I know more about you than you think and you shouldn’t be allowed to use the words ‘woman’ and ‘respect’ in the same sentence.”

  Humphrey stormed out of the apartment in a rage and I ran off behind him, in spite of Phillip’s protests. I needed to know what it was that could yank his chain so viciously to cause this fevered reaction. It was almost like he came along in search of a confrontation with my brother, but why? He claimed he knew something about him, while my brother didn’t want to have anything more to do with him. My hopes for a harmonious relationship between Phillip and Humphrey were useless. Here I was again caught in the middle.

  Once we made it back onto the street, a light rain had started falling and the temperature had turned chillier than before. It suited the chilly reception I received from Humphrey when I joined him at the corner.

  “Your brother has some nerve trying to act all high and mighty. All he’s known for is being a pretty boy who’s into playing women.”

  “How can you say that? You don’t even know Phillip.”

  “I know his type, always preying on the young vulnerable ones until a new one comes along.”

  “Well, you must have given him a lot of thought to create a profile.”

  “Lots of thought.”

  We walked along in silence down into the subway and we rode all the way to Brooklyn the same way, quietly. I could almost see the tension between us; it was so powerful. I was confused and it hurt my feelings that Humphrey had formed such a poor opinion of Phillip without really knowing him. I took it personally. It was like when we were growing up and somebody said something against someone in our family. It was an insult.

  “Humphrey, I don’t think you realize how close I am to my brother. If you did, you would try harder to overlook the things about him that you don’t like.”

  By then we were in our neighborhood; the rain had stopped and the sun was starting to appear. We were nearing our block.

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  “I don’t understand where the hostility is coming from and I do want to understand. Please enlighten me.”

  “There’s nothing to understand. I’ve seen him, alright?” He was yelling now. “I’m sorry. I can’t respect a man like that. As a matter of fact, I was surprised he was related to you. When he opened that door, I had to fight to keep my composure.”

  “I’m really sorry you only have that impression of him because Phillip is so much more than that. As you can see, that phase of his life is behind him. He’s going to marry Patrice. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

  “Well, I encountered him during that phase of hi
s life so that’s the way I’ll always see him—as a player.”

  “Look Humphrey, men have played women for years and I’m sure you’ve had your share. Why are you taking Phillip’s social behavior so personally?”

  “You’re too close. You’d never understand.” “I’m close to you, too. That’s the problem.”

  “Let’s not fight, Baby. Phillip has nothing to do with you and me.” He smiled a naughty half-smile. “Let’s get tangled up in the covers and watch a good movie or have a little afternoon delight.”

  He was trying to evade the issue. I was going to protest and tell him sex was his solution to everything: a morning ride, an afternoon delight, a midnight tryst; but I realized I had no complaint against his method of diplomacy. Instead I reaped the benefits of his truce with plans to take up the fight for my cause again, when I had a better chance at victory. That time, I’d let him win.

  Things were looking up in my professional life and because of that, Monday was a little more focused. The better part of the day was spent consulting with my new and only client, Trey DeWitt. Humphrey had recommended me to his boss, while he was interviewing event planners for an upcoming charity dinner. He was hosting an affair to raise money for his arts education program for inner-city children and it was a privilege for me to cut my teeth on a juicy New York project. His mailing list included movie stars, singers, producers, and reality show celebs. When I realized the magnitude of the event, I was almost overwhelmed. Then I reminded myself I was more than capable to accomplish the deed with aplomb. I decided it would be the vehicle to launch another branch of the business, while the little voice in my head reminded me of how well Michael would have done with that opportunity.

  Trey nixed just about everything I suggested for a theme, but I was undaunted. From my five years’ experience in the business, I was sure something would strike his fancy. He didn’t want a cocktail party or a formal sit-down dinner. He rejected my idea for a benefit concert and that one, I thought he’d really go for. In a last ditch effort, I presented him with my portfolio, which always included details and photographs of my projects.