by Natalie Ward
“I never told him about you coming to Boston, you know that,” I say, watching as Luke nods again. “Obviously, he found you, and apparently he found out about me leaving Chicago. Something he apparently didn’t want me to do because of how it would make him look.”
Luke nods as if he understands, and I know he does. We both know the man knows no bounds, will stop at nothing to get his own way. God, it’s like Luke and I aren’t even people to him, much less his children. We are nothing but commodities, at best, clients, with only one role; to make him look good.
“That probably explains the random phone call I got from him then,” Luke suddenly says, his hand rubbing his hair again.
“What, when?” I ask him.
Luke shrugs as though he’s trying to remember. “Dunno, maybe around the time you guys were breaking up.”
“What did he say to you?” I can’t believe our father. Not only would he come and see me, try and tell me how to live my life, threatening the people I love the most if I didn’t do what he wanted, but now he’s apparently called Luke too.
“He asked me why you were leaving Chicago,” Luke says, his fingers gripping his head now. “Seemed to think Jared and I had talked you in to ditching your job out there.”
I’m shaking my head in amazement, even now, still surprised at the lengths our father will go to, just to get his own way.
“And what did you say to him?” I ask.
Luke laughs a little now, his hand moving so it’s resting on the counter next to mine. I reach out and rest mine over the top of his, trying to let him know it doesn’t matter what he said, the damage was already done and that was solely thanks to our father.
“Well, I told him that he didn’t control you, that you are an adult and he couldn’t tell either of us what to do anymore.”
I smile, I can’t help it. Fuck I would have loved to have seen dad’s face when he heard that. “Really?” I ask, my voice like an excited little kid.
“Yeah, and then I told him to stop trying to control everyone and everything, to listen for once in his life and…” Luke pauses as though he wants to get the words exactly right. “And then I said not to fucking call me again.”
I’m laughing now, wishing I’d had the balls to say all of that when dad had shown up at my front door. Luke always was the stronger one out of the two of us. Maybe that’s why dad liked beating him down so much; he hated that defiance, hated that someone would actually have the gall to challenge him.
“And what did he say?” I ask.
Luke laughs as he says, “I have no idea, my phone stopped working when I threw it against the wall and it smashed into a million pieces.”
We are both laughing now and I step into my brother, pulling him into a hug. “You are the best brother I could have ever asked for, you know that.”
Luke rests his chin on the top of my head. “Yeah, you’re not so bad as a sister either, you know.”
I laugh as I gently punch him in the stomach, glad we can both see the humour in all of this bullshit that’s happened.
“You never left Chicago in the end though,” he says, his voice serious now. “What happened Mia, how come you never came back? Why did you and Jared break up, why didn’t Jared just move to Chicago? Did dad have something to do with that?”
I pull back a little, look up at Luke and slowly nod.
“What did he do to you?” Luke whispers and I know I have to tell him everything. About giving up Chicago and why I was going to, and about giving up Jared and why I had to do that.
By the time I am finished, I am crying again and Luke has his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I have no idea if Jared has woken up, no idea if he is wondering where I am right now. I left the door open, so I hope if he is awake, he can hear me. I have nothing to hide from him anymore.
“Mia, fuck,” Luke says. “Why didn’t you talk to me, talk to Jared, talk to one of us at least?”
I wipe my cheeks, sick of crying over all of this shit now. “I don’t know Luke, I was scared. Scared of making everything worse, scared of him doing something to either of you, especially after seeing what he was capable of, what he did when he found you. I don’t know, I just…”
Luke pulls me into another hug, his arms wrapping around me as he rests his chin on the top of my head again.
“So you broke up with Jared, spent the past year unhappy, all because of him, because of what he said he would do?” he asks.
I nod against his chest.
“And if you’d just talked to us, one of us, we could have sorted this out so you wouldn’t have had anything to worry about?”
“I know, I know, I was an idiot,” I say. “Trust me, I do know this.”
“So what now Mia, what happens now?”
I pull back again, but Luke keeps me close, an arm around my shoulder still. “Now I’ve told you both everything,” I say. “And now I’m not going to let him tell me what to do, not going to let him threaten the people I love. It’s not going to happen anymore.”
Luke doesn’t say anything and when I finally look up at him, I can see he’s smiling, looking at me with a mixture of amusement and something that almost looks like pride.
“What?” I ask him.
He laughs, rubbing his knuckles on the top of my head like he did when we were kids. “Well it’s about fucking time you stubborn ass!”
I laugh, wiping the last of my tears away.
Seven days later – Jared
I wake up to the sound of ice and sleet hitting the window. Winter is here, I think as I roll over. Mia is gone, but for the first time, this is okay. I can hear her voice coming from the kitchen, the door to my room slightly ajar as though she wanted me to know that they were talking. They need to talk, I know that, but I also need to make sure she is alright.
Throwing off the covers, I pull on a pair of sweats before quietly walking out. The two of them are standing facing each other in the kitchen. Luke has his arm around her and when I see Mia brush tears from her face, instinct drives me and I walk out into the living room as though I don’t have a choice.
Both of them turn when they hear me, both of them smiling when they see me.
“Hey,” I say tentatively.
Smiling, Mia squeezes her brother’s arm before walking over to me. Standing on her toes she puts her lips against mine and whispers, “Hey yourself.”
Smiling back, I kiss her, my arm sliding around her waist and bringing her closer.
“Come back to bed when you’re done,” she whispers before walking back into my room and closing the door.
When she’s gone, I turn back to face Luke, not sure what to expect from him. The smile and a “Hey,” I get back in return are probably not top of the list. As walk into the kitchen, I get busy pouring some coffee for us, anything to distract myself. I’m surprised when Luke finally speaks.
“I owe you an apology Jared.”
“What?” I ask, pausing mid pour with the coffee.
“Mia,” he continues, gesturing towards my room. “She told me everything.”
“What?” I say again, not entirely sure where this is going.
“She told me why she broke up with you,” he continues. “Said it was never your fault, anything that had happened. Seems we can thank me and my asshole father for that.”
I finally look up at him as I say, “That’s not exactly true.”
“You and I both know that it was for those reasons. I might not have realised it, but I should have. I never knew why you guys broke up…”
“I never really knew either,” I interrupt, exhaling loudly as I push my hand through my hair.
“Yeah, I get that now,” Luke says quietly. “But I’m sorry I was a part of it, I really am sorry. I should have been looking out for her, not the other way around. And…” he trails off, running his hand over his head as he takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry that my father continues to be a problem. For you and your family.”
I look at him. He
looks wrecked, which is probably to be expected given everything he’s been through the last couple of days. They only just got home from the hospital yesterday and I suspect whatever Mia has told him is the last thing he needed to hear. I can’t imagine he’s even slept since the night it happened, because he sure as shit doesn’t look like it. I’m about to ask if he’s okay, when he shocks me.
“She told me about being pregnant Jared,” he murmurs, his words barely loud enough to hear.
I don’t know what happens next. All I know is the room suddenly goes blurry and all the noise fades to the background. All I know is that suddenly Luke is hugging me. Hugging me for fuck’s sake.
“I’m sorry Jared, I really am. I’ve been a fucking asshole friend to you, dragging all of my family drama into your life, and your family’s. I never even knew half of what was really happening, or what you were going through, but I’m sorry.”
I pull away, embarrassed by my reaction. “It’s okay Luke, really,” I say quietly. “You can’t control who your dad is and anyway, it’s, you know…it’s in the past.”
“Maybe,” he continues. “But I know you never got over her, and I know living with me couldn’t have made that easy. Fuck, living with me has never been that easy, obviously, and for that I really am sorry.”
I smile now, looking at him and saying, “Yeah well, I’m sure I wasn’t always a walk in the park either.” Trying for a joke, desperately wanting to end this conversation.
Luke smiles back now, holding out his hand to me. “Thanks for putting up with me for so long,” he says as he pulls me in for another hug. “Thanks for putting up with all of our shit.”
“Yeah,” is the only thing I can say.
Eventually the two of us decide to grow our balls back and we pull away, Luke turning to the two coffees he had poured, spooning sugars into both of them.
“Ash sleep alright now that she’s back here?” I finally ask, genuinely concerned.
Smiling Luke answers, “Yeah, she did, she’s happy to be home, slept really well.” He takes a deep breath now and I suspect the same can’t be said for him.
“And you, are you doing okay?”
Luke just shrugs and I can tell that means he’s probably not, but he only says, “I’m gonna take her coffee in to her. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah,” I reply, hoping that this isn’t the start of everything unravelling for him again.
When Luke leaves, I stand at the counter for a few minutes, trying to work out what the fuck has just happened, but at the same time, calm myself down before I go back to Mia. With shaking hands, I eventually pour us both coffees and then walk back into my room, our room, and to her.
“Hey you,” Mia says when I walk in.
“Hey yourself,” I reply, smiling as I climb into bed beside her.
Laughing she pulls me closer, her body already warm beneath the covers. Pressing my mouth to hers, I decide right then that kissing her is a far better option for waking up than coffee ever will be.
Eight days later – Mia
“Shit…”
Jared and I smack into each other. Hard.
He’s coming into the bathroom just as I am walking out. I’m busy rubbing my hair with a towel, trying to dry it before the others all get here and I don’t see him as I’m walking through the door. We literally smash together, my cheek hitting his shoulder before we both fall backwards.
“Shit baby, are you okay?” he asks, his hands gripping my shoulders to stop me from falling.
“Oww,” I say, rubbing my cheek.
I can hear Jared laughing softly as he turns me and when I look up at him, I scowl. “What are you laughing at?”
He smiles as he leans in and gently kisses my cheek, once, twice and three times. “Oh nothing,” he says, moving so he’s kissing my lips now. “Only that this kinda feels a bit like deja vu.”
I smile back at him, thinking he’s right.
Because right at this very moment, I’m backed up against the bathroom wall, just like I was a week ago. Jared’s hands, which were just on my shoulders as he caught me, have now slid down my arms as though he’s about to pull me into his. I want him to, even if it is kinda pointless, because we are already as close as we can get. His body, his deliciously hard warm body, which I have spent the last week rediscovering, is now pressed right up against mine. With the wall at my back and Jared against my front, I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place, again. And my heart, which is of course, pressed against his, is pounding in my chest, my breathing coming hard and fast from the look he’s giving me right now.
“Deja vu huh?” I ask, dropping the towel I was using to dry my hair and sliding my arms around his waist.
He smiles as he presses his body harder against me. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, which I presume he pulled on when he crawled out of bed to come in here. I have only a towel wrapped around me and right now, one of Jared’s hands has let go of my arm and is slowly undoing it, so it too, falls to the floor.
“Well, yeah,” he whispers, leaning in as he presses his lips to my collarbone. I feel the gentle bite of his teeth; hear the soft moan I let out in response as my head falls back against the wall. “But I was thinking things could go a little differently this time.”
Smiling, I force my head off the wall as I find his mouth again with my mine. “Oh,” I say, gently nipping at his lower lip. “How so?”
Jared lets out a soft laugh as one of his hands slides around my now naked waist and pulls me even tighter against him. He presses himself into me, showing me exactly what he has in mind. As his other hand lets go of my arm, he reaches out and slams the bathroom door shut, locking us both in here.
“I was thinking…” he whispers, his arm winding around my shoulder now as his lips kiss their way down my neck. “That this time…” His kisses continue, his lips trailing on to my shoulder. “I wouldn’t walk out of here so fast…” His lips reach my chest and slowly kiss a trail across, from one side to the other. “That maybe, I’d stay…”
I slide my hands down to his boxers, my fingers inching their way under the waistband and pushing them down his hips. “But you were the one coming in here, Jared,” I say teasingly. “I was walking out, remember?”
“No,” he moans, his lips on my breast.
My fingers dig into his skin, pulling his hips back towards mine. I can feel my heart, pounding hard in my chest, my breathing heavy and deep, as I stupidly try to get my body under control, knowing I’m failing completely. “So you want me to stay then?” I ask, my voice low.
Jared pushes his hips hard against mine again, his arm around my waist squeezing me tighter, in answer to my question.
I smile; my hands cupping his face so I can bring it back to mine. “Is that a yes Jared?” I ask him, our eyes locking and my bottom lip between my teeth as I wait for his answer.
Jared smiles at me in a way that has me losing what little control I have left as I practically melt into a puddle on the floor. My pounding heart is now actually trying to break through my ribs and my legs start to shake, barely holding me up as he leans in towards me. Everything is moving in slow motion and I watch transfixed, as he slowly moves closer, his beautiful blue eyes shining as they stare into mine. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my skin, the feel of his fingers, his arms, his body, as he holds me against him, holds me up. Just as his lips are about to touch mine, just as I lean in and try to close the last little distance between us, Jared stops.
“That baby,” he whispers, his lips, his whole body resting against mine now. “Is a fuck yes.”
And then he kisses me and this time, neither of us walks out of the bathroom for a very long time.
Jared & Mia’s Encore
All I Need – AWOLNATION
I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
Here’s To Us – Halestorm
Acknowledgements
Second time around was a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially whe
n I realised I actually should’ve been writing an entirely different book. I know Luke’s was supposed to have been next, and his will happen, I promise. But Mia and Jared really needed to have their story told; they needed their HEA. Having said that, the second time around was also a lot more fun and that was because of so many people.
To all of the amazing people I have met through writing these stories. There are far to many of you to name, but just know, each and every one of you has helped me. I appreciate all of your messages, support and friendship, more than you’ll ever know. To all of the blogs who have helped me out, thank you. I couldn’t do this without you. To everyone at Triple M, thank you for welcoming me into your group, you gals are a blast and I can’t thank you enough for pimping me, supporting me and for all those casting pictures. To my RWBs, thank you for the daily vibers, voxers and hilarious conversations, here’s to many more.
Sarah Hansen. Geez woman, I thought I loved the first cover you made me, and then you go and make this one and I love it even more. Thank you for giving Stubborn Love such a beautiful cover. It’s gorgeous, perfect and exactly what I wanted for them.
Jenny and Gitte. You ladies took a chance on me, way back when no one knew who I was, much less that I’d written a book. And you’ve supported me, every single day since. Thank you for all of the support, the laughs, the friendship and love. I appreciate it more than you know.
Nikki. Thank you for your endless friendship and support, and for laughing with me. You never stopped telling me I could do this, even before you’d ever read a single word of it. Thank you for fixing all of my grammatical cock ups (told you I’d get it in here), even if you did laugh your arse off at me along the way. One of these days I’ll learn, although grammar karma payback is definitely still my bitch, even Pusheen agrees.