Freefall

by Traci Hunter Abramson

  “Come here.” Matt reached out and pulled her into his arms. “I’m just worried about you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” Amy sniffed back most of the tears. “I just don’t understand how out of all the guys in the world I have to fall for one who leads an impossible life, one who will probably never have room for someone like me.”

  Matt laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Hey, you’re talking to the expert on difficult relationships here,” he said. He leaned back so he could look into his sister’s face, then reached out and brushed away a stray tear. “If it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way.”

  Amy sighed, pointing to the grill in an effort to distract him. “You’re going to burn the hot dogs.”

  “I’ve got it covered.” Matt stepped over and loaded up the serving plate with hamburgers and hot dogs. “I hope you realize that just because you’re in love with this guy doesn’t mean I don’t get the chance to play big brother and make sure he’s worthy of you.”

  As Amy’s face paled, he took her hand and led her inside.

  * * *

  “Since when are you a Florida Marlins fan?” Kel sat down next to Brent in the officer’s club and motioned for the waitress.

  “Is there something wrong with kicking back and watching a ball game?” Brent asked, avoiding Kel’s question.

  “I’m just wondering what’s going on with you since the Nationals game is on in the other room.” Kel looked up at the waitress. “I’ll take a Sprite.”

  Brent remained silent.

  “Have you talked to her since we got back?” Kel picked up his soda and took a sip.

  “Talked to whom?” Brent kept his face deliberately blank.

  “Oh, come on, Brent.” Kel hooked an arm over the back of his chair and shifted to look at him. “We all know you’re hooked on Amy Whitmore. Why aren’t you on the phone right now planning when you can see her again?”

  “Because there’s no point in seeing her again.” Brent’s voice was low, but regret hummed through it.

  Kel shook his head in confusion. “You’re going to have to explain that one to me. You like her, she likes you. Heck, she’s even LDS. What’s the problem?”

  “You tell me.” Brent turned on him, anger in his voice now. “How does your wife like it when you disappear for weeks, sometimes months at a time?” He dropped his head into his hands. “I can’t do that to her. I just can’t.”

  “Look, I’ve made enough mistakes in the marriage department for both of us. Don’t give up on your own chance for happiness because I did it the hard way.”

  “How can you say that?” Brent pushed on, looking up again. “How can any woman actually want to be married to someone with a career like ours?”

  “I don’t know. I married one who didn’t,” Kel admitted. “She thought I would give up this life, and I thought she loved me enough to let me keep it. It’s been generally miserable all the way around for both of us, but that’s both of our faults. We didn’t talk about it before we got married. Not really.”

  Again Brent fell silent.

  With a shake of his head, Kel pushed back from the table. He took two steps before he turned back. “By the way, church is at ten tomorrow.”

  Brent nodded and turned his attention back to the television. A few minutes later Matt Whitmore walked to the plate. Brent watched as the pitcher had him on the verge of a strikeout and then threw the wrong pitch. Matt slammed it high over the left field fence. The camera stayed on the field as he rounded the plate behind his two teammates who were already on base.

  He had hoped that the camera would flash to Matt’s family in the stands and maybe give him a glimpse of Amy. She had said she was going to spend a few days in Florida before heading back to Virginia. That had only been four days ago.

  With a shake of his head, he ordered another soda and settled back to wallow in his misery.

  CHAPTER 18

  Amy followed her escort through the maze of hallways in the Pentagon, finally arriving at Admiral Mantiquez’s office. Amy had returned home to Virginia the night before to find that the admiral wanted to meet with her as soon as possible. Now here she was at eight o’clock on a Tuesday morning wondering what in the world this man could possibly want with her.

  “Amy Whitmore?” The admiral moved to shake her hand and motioned for her to sit down, then closed the door behind her. He wasn’t very tall, probably an inch or so shorter than Amy, and his dark hair was mostly gray. He smiled at her as he moved to sit down behind his enormous desk. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice.”

  “Your message said it was important,” she said simply, smoothing her skirt over her knees.

  “I know you went through a series of debriefings in Italy, but I hoped that you could clear a few things up for me,” he began.

  “I can try.”

  “First of all, where did you get your information about the planned terrorist attack in DC?”

  “I don’t know.” Amy lifted a shoulder. “My dad mentioned something about that country trying to develop biological weapons, and then I heard the intelligence officer mention that they couldn’t transport something safely.”

  His eyebrows shot up, his voice skeptical. “That’s how you knew there was going to be an attack on the DC subway system?”

  “I also saw a map of the subway on the ambassador’s desk.”

  He leaned back in his chair, considering. “What exactly are your plans for the future?”

  “I’m not sure,” Amy said honestly. “The State Department has offered to send me to London, but the job sounds pretty tedious. That’s probably terrible to say, but I don’t think I want to process the same old paperwork every day.”

  “How would you feel about processing new paperwork every day?”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I have read Commander Bennett’s report about your performance during the subway incident, as well as Lieutenant Miller’s report about the rescue.” Admiral Mantiquez steepled his fingers together and continued. “For some time I have been trying to fill a support position for this unit, someone to help on intel assignments and run support when they are deployed. Every time we find someone, they quit within a few days. Most civilians underestimate the pressure that comes with the job and find they can’t handle it.”

  “Why don’t you just fill the position with someone in the military?” Amy asked, a knot settling in her stomach as she wondered how Brent would feel about her working with him on a regular basis.

  “The military is stretched too thin right now. That’s why we were slated with a civilian position, to keep our manpower where it’s needed most.” The admiral leaned forward and looked her in the eye. “I’ll be honest with you. The job is only a couple of steps above entry level, but it has potential. You might travel a lot for a few months and then not travel at all for a year. Your days off will vary, although since the whole unit is LDS they attend church on Sundays whenever their duties allow it.”

  Amy smiled at that. “You sound like you’re trying to talk me out of taking the job.”

  “Not at all.” He shook his head. “I just want you to understand what it entails. The job won’t be easy, and this unit has a unique temperament, but if you want to be part of something special, you should consider it.”

  “I don’t have to consider it,” Amy replied, following impulse rather than logic. “When do I start?”

  * * *

  Amy showed her ID to the guard and then made her way upstairs to her father’s office. She had promised to go to lunch with him after her meeting, and she was already wondering how he was going to take the news. She was nearly to the door to his outer office when she thought of Jared and said a quick, silent prayer that he would already be out to lunch.

  The prayer wasn’t answered the way she had hoped, and she forced a smile as Jared skirted around his desk and moved toward her. “Thank goodness you’re safe.” He embraced her, and Amy couldn’t help but stiffen.
He pulled back, apparently not noticing her resistance, and continued. “Your father said you were coming in today. I thought you would want to take a few days off before starting work, but I’m glad to see you.”

  Amy shook her head, sorting out his words. “I only came in to meet my dad for lunch. I’m not working here.”

  Jared’s eyes narrowed. “But I thought—”

  “You thought wrong.” Amy stepped past him and knocked on her dad’s door. As soon as she heard his voice call “come in,” she pushed the door open and immediately closed it behind her.

  Jim was already moving toward the door, and he scooped her up in a hug. “I was hoping that was you.”

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yeah, let me just see if Jared wants to join us.” Jim reached for the door.

  “Dad, if Jared’s coming, then I’m not,” Amy stated firmly.

  “What? Why?” Jim asked, turning back to face her. “I thought you were fond of him.”

  “Fond of, yes. In love with, no,” Amy clarified. “I have no interest in marrying Jared now or ever. The more you invite him along when I’m around, the longer it’s going to take for him to understand that I’m really not interested in him that way.”

  Jim stared at her for a minute and then sighed. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to keep pushing him on you. I just thought—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Amy told him. “Let’s just go get some lunch.”

  They walked out of Jim’s office, and Jared was standing by the door as though he had already anticipated an invitation. Jim nodded at him and guided Amy to the outer door. “Jared, I’ll be back in about an hour.”

  Jared’s eyes widened, but he said nothing as the two left the office.

  Twenty minutes later they were sitting in their favorite seafood restaurant overlooking the Potomac River.

  “Are you going to tell me how your meeting went?” Jim asked after they ordered.

  “Only if you promise not to yell.”

  “Why would I yell?”

  “Promise?” Amy waited until her father reluctantly nodded before continuing. “Apparently the admiral wanted to clarify how I had come up with some of my assumptions.”

  “And?” Jim asked.

  “He offered me a job.”

  Jim’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of a job?”

  “It’s a support job down at Quantico.”

  “You’re staying here in Virginia?” Jim’s smile broke free. “Honey, that’s fantastic. Your mom and I will love having you so close by.”

  “I was hoping you would say that.” Amy dabbed a piece of shrimp cocktail into some sauce and took a bite.

  Slowly Jim’s smile faded. “Wait a minute. Why were you worried I would yell?” His eyes narrowed again. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “I’m just not sure you’ll like the unit I’m working with.”

  “Oh, no.” Jim shook his head. “Not Miller’s unit.”

  Amy just shrugged and braced against the lecture about to come.

  “Amy, those boys are on hazardous duty as often as not. I don’t want you involved with them.” Jim grabbed her hand across the table. “They are under incredible amounts of pressure all the time.”

  Her voice took on an edge. “Do you think I can’t handle the pressure?”

  Jim’s voice rose in response. “I don’t want you to have to handle the pressure.”

  “You promised not to yell,” Amy pointed out calmly. “Besides, I’m only providing support. It’s not like I’ll be going behind enemy lines with them.”

  “What happens when one of them doesn’t come home?” Jim asked bluntly. “How are you going to handle that?”

  “Dad, I’m aware of that possibility. I also know that by some bizarre twist of fate, I helped save people a few days ago.” Tears threatened, but she quickly blinked them back. “And as hard as it was to think about what might have happened if we didn’t do a good job, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I made a difference in people’s lives, people I’ve never even met.”

  “There are a lot of ways to make a difference, Amy.”

  “That’s true, and now I know what I’m good at.” Amy paused while the waiter arrived to deliver their food. As soon as he moved away, she continued, “This is what I want. I hope you’ll be happy for me.”

  “Do you really think this is a good idea, you working with Brent Miller?”

  “I don’t know.” Amy shrugged, forcing herself to speak her fears. “In fact, that’s my only concern about this job, that my presence might in some way make things difficult for him.”

  “I’m more worried about him making things difficult for you,” Jim muttered. “I’m sorry, but I don’t trust him with you.”

  “But you trusted Jared around me. Why is that?”

  “He’s reliable, steady . . .”

  “Arrogant, conceited, boring,” Amy finished for him. “You know, I trusted Brent more in the first day I knew him than I have ever trusted Jared. Maybe it’s time you let me follow my instincts. Right or wrong, it is my life.”

  “And whether you like it or not, I’m always going to worry about you,” Jim countered.

  “That goes without saying.” Amy rolled her eyes, the tension between them finally easing. “What do you think Mom will have to say about all of this?”

  “I don’t think she knows enough about Navy SEALs to be worried. That’s probably a good thing.” Resigned, Jim asked, “When do you start?”

  “A week from Monday. The admiral said it would take that long to push through my security clearance.”

  “Just promise me you’ll always be careful.”

  Amy grinned. “Dad, I always try.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Brent lengthened his stride as he jogged along a tree-lined path on base and let his mind wander. His unit had returned to Quantico three days ago, but he had yet to settle back into a routine. The rest of his unit had gone for a swim at the base swimming pool for their PT, or physical training, but Brent had opted for a run despite the heat and humidity that was currently consuming northern Virginia. His arm was almost completely healed, but for today he didn’t want to confine himself to the pool.

  From the time he had run cross country in high school, the freedom of running had always helped him clear his mind. Running allowed him to focus on his problems and, more importantly, the solutions. He had popped in at his folks’ house for dinner the night before, hoping to take his mind off of Amy. The diversion had been successful for a few minutes, but once he was back in his car heading back to Quantico, he was thinking about her again.

  No one else had ever consumed him so completely. Her face was the first thing he thought of when he woke each morning. He went to sleep each night wondering where she was. He was pretty sure she was still in Virginia visiting her parents, but he couldn’t be sure. For all he knew, she had taken a job in another embassy overseas and he would never see her unless she happened to be taken hostage again.

  He owed it to her to stay away, but every time he thought of not seeing her again his stomach felt like a ball of lead. Kel’s words had been running through his mind for days. Did Kel’s marriage struggles really stem from a lack of understanding and communication, or would those problems surface in any marriage dealing with the stress of constant deployment? He couldn’t find any answers, even in his prayers at night, although that was probably because his own fears were getting in the way.

  He emerged from the woods and went inside to shower and change. After forcing down a sandwich, Brent headed back to his office. He stopped at Kel’s office to tell him he was back from lunch, then stepped inside when Kel motioned to him.

  “We’ve got good news,” Kel told him. “I just got off the phone with Admiral Mantiquez. He’s finally filled our support position.”

  “He fills the position every couple of months,” Brent pointed out. “No one ever lasts long enough to get up to speed, much less be useful.”

&nbs
p; “He’s convinced that this civilian is up for the task.”

  “I hope so. It would be nice to have the help for a change.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Kel agreed. “The admiral told us to take the weekend off. He said we deserve it after the pace we’ve set for the past few weeks.”

  “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

  “I’m sending everyone home early today,” Kel said. “Go ahead and close down your office. Just make sure you have your phone with you in case the admiral changes his mind.”

  Brent nodded and moved into his office. He started to turn off his computer, but instead he logged on and did a quick search. After scribbling down an address, he shut everything down and headed for his car. For the first time all week he felt like he was looking forward instead of back.

  * * *

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Katherine asked from Amy’s bedroom doorway. “The Whites would love to see you.”

  “Thanks, Mom, but I really just want to stay home and relax for a while,” Amy responded. “It’s too tiring having to repeat the same story over and over again.”

  “Okay, but call me if you need anything.” Katherine moved back into the hallway, and a moment later her heels echoed on the wood in the entryway below.

  As soon as she heard her parents drive away, Amy headed downstairs to the living room and turned on the television. Charlie had left for the beach that morning with a few friends, and for the first time in what felt like forever Amy could just be alone. She hadn’t realized how much her family had hovered over her since her return until she finally had a chance to spend an evening without them.

  Grabbing the remote, she flipped through the channels looking for her brother’s game. When she finally realized that it wasn’t scheduled to start for another hour, she decided she could root for the Nationals for a while. She considered heating up a frozen pizza and quickly decided against it. Her last experience in her mom’s kitchen had involved a fire extinguisher and buying her mom a new set of curtains. She had only been sixteen at the time, but she didn’t trust her luck lately and decided against taking any chances.