Life's a Beach

by Jamie K. Schmidt

  “Sunshine, it was a done deal as soon as you smiled at me.”

  “I wish we weren’t on such a curvy road,” she said. “I’m feeling a little naughty.”

  “And there goes my hard-on again.”

  “Now who’s being a tease?”

  —

  Kai had failed to mention that Maui Grindz was next to a coffee plantation. She made Dude go on the self-guided tour with her and held his hand as if they were newlyweds. Amelia told herself she wasn’t going to fall in love with his beach-god looks and his sexy innuendos. This was a casual affair. She was a modern woman. But damn, it would be easy to forget that this was temporary. He made her laugh, and her heart beat faster when he looked at her with those ever-changing hazel eyes. Amelia could barely wait until tonight.

  “You should have gotten an SUV,” Dude said on the drive home.

  “Why? Are the roads going to be that bad?” She squinted through the windshield. It hadn’t rained. Amelia couldn’t imagine these roads slippery and crumbling with mud.

  “No, you bought out the entire bakery section, and most of the coffee section.”

  Amelia held up a hand. “That was in self-defense. Do you know Makoa buys the coffee at Office-freaking-Max?”

  “That’s why I drink the beer.”

  She couldn’t argue with that. “Just remember to be sober for your scuba lessons tomorrow. I don’t want to have to rescue you this time.”

  “Are you going to be my assistant?” he asked. “You can rub waterproof sunscreen all over me.”

  “As tempting as that sounds, I’m actually busy tomorrow morning.”

  “Doing what?” Dude frowned. “You’re on vacation. You should be relaxing in a lounge chair.”

  “Makoa, Hani, and Kai wanted some help organizing some of the new tours the hotel is doing.”

  “You should be going on tours instead of setting them up.” He blew the horn at a motorcycle that passed them on the right. “Pupule!”

  Amelia shuddered. “What’s that mean? Or do I want to know?”

  “It means ‘crazy.’ ”

  “You got that right.” There was a difference between being a daredevil and being flat-out suicidal.

  “What new tours?” Dude asked when they reached flat road again.

  “Ever since Kincaide announced he was selling the hotel, all of the good tours put Palekaiko Beach Resort at the bottom of their lists. We get the newest drivers and the worst buses, and it’s starting to wear thin with the guests.”

  “The hotel is going to be closed in a matter of weeks.”

  “I know,” she said. “But there are people here like me who are only going to get to Hawaii once in their lives, and they deserve to have it be memorable. Besides, Kai tells me that the buyer is dicking Kincaide around, so that he lowers his price by a few million.”

  “What?” Dude whipped his head around to look at her.

  She swatted his arm. “Keep your eyes on the road.”

  “I can’t believe Kai told you that.”

  Amelia nodded. “Yeah, it’s painfully obvious that Kincaide wants to sell. So the buyer is just waiting for him to lose patience.”

  “I see.” Dude glared out the windshield.

  “What are you going to do when Kincaide caves?”

  “What?”

  “Another ‘what’ out of you and you’ll be a lightbulb. Dude, I know work talk bores you. I’m just concerned, that’s all.” She stroked her hand down his arm. “When Kincaide capitulates, what happens to you? From what I understand, the buyer is going to raze the hotel and build condos in its place.”

  “Don’t worry about me, sunshine. I’ll manage.”

  “Okay.” Amelia backed off. What she wanted to do was make sure he had an updated résumé, but then she figured people who lived in glass houses—or in this case, grass tiki bars—shouldn’t throw stones. When he wasn’t looking, she had grabbed a local paper and an apartment guide. The more she walked around that coffee plantation, the more she realized she didn’t want to go back to New York. If she was going to start over, why shouldn’t it be in Maui? Of course, Amelia didn’t want to mention anything like that to Dude. He’d freak. If she could find an apartment and a job in two weeks, she could leave and just not tell him where she was going. Let him assume it was back to New York. And if they ran into each other on the island, she’d play it cool. She wanted him too much to risk having him get cold feet about their affair if he got a whiff she might not leave at the end of her vacation.

  When they got back to the hotel, Amelia stored some of the goodies in the employees’ break room for tomorrow. Dude helped her carry her personal stash up the five flights to her room.

  “This place needs renovating. An elevator, for one thing,” Dude said as she fumbled through her purse for the key.

  “An elevator would be nice,” she said. “But it’s the little things that people care about more, like the coffee and the entertainment.”

  She opened the door and did a double take. Zarafina had a line of people waiting for her readings. She was set up on the lanai and was speaking with a young couple who Amelia guessed were newlyweds. One woman sat in a chair knitting, and another was sitting on her bed texting.

  “Uh, don’t mind me,” Amelia said, and stuffed her things into the dresser drawers.

  “So much for utilizing the lanai,” Dude said, nipping her earlobe.

  “Yeah,” she said, and leaned back against him.

  “We’ll be out of your way soon,” the knitter said. “Zarafina’s limiting the times to a half hour each. She didn’t think you’d be back until after dinner.”

  “That’s all right,” Amelia said. “I do have other plans. I just wanted to drop my packages off in the room so I didn’t have to carry them.” As a precaution, Amelia put a bunch of things into the safe. But, truth be told, she really didn’t have much of value.

  “Want to go for a sunset swim?” Dude asked.

  “That sounds great.” She grabbed a towel and her key.

  “That was a little weird,” he said.

  “Not as much as you think,” Amelia said. “That’s how Zarafina earns her living. She can’t really afford to take too much of a vacation. I hope she doesn’t get in trouble for that, though. Maybe I can ask Makoa to put her on the approved-vendor list. I mean, if Hani’s auntie is coming in to do hair braiding and Kai’s uncle Lomo is doing fishing trips, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “You’re not staff,” he pointed out.

  “I’m almost staff,” she said. “I even spoke to the big kahuna himself today.”

  “What did he have to say?” Dude asked, slinging an arm around her once they’d cleared the four flights of stairs down.

  “Nothing pleasant, but he didn’t kick me out of the hotel.”

  “That’s good. But you guys should be careful on who you get to come work here. The local yakuza doesn’t like freelancers taking away from their cut.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m just saying there are certain understandings that the local businesspeople have with the protection agencies. Uncle Lomo may find his boat full of holes if he doesn’t give a cut of his profits to one of them.”

  “You’re talking about organized crime. That’s illegal,” Amelia said. “This is still America.”

  “Yeah, and you’re on an island in the middle of the Pacific, wahine. These things happen. I’m just saying be careful, that’s all.”

  “Do you mean Kai, Hani, and Makoa have to give a percentage to the mafia?”

  “No, not the hotel employees. Just the independent contractors.”

  “That’s awful.”

  Dude shrugged. “It keeps every haole with a boat away from opening up his own parasailing business.”

  “I would imagine getting a business license and all that governmental red tape would also be a challenge.”

  “Yeah, we drown ’em in red tape.”

  Amelia would have answered
him back, but he took off his shirt and she lost her train of thought.

  “Last one in is a rotten egg,” he told her, and started sprinting to the surf.

  As she slid out of her sundress, Amelia thought it was worth it to be a rotten egg if she got to ogle his backside. He splashed in and dove under. She strolled down to the edge and enjoyed feeling the warm water cascade over her feet and legs. They had done a lot of walking and had been cramped up in the car for a while.

  “Come on,” Dude said, waving her in.

  She walked out to chest height, letting the gentle waves pick her up and down. This was a lot different than yesterday. The blue waves were much calmer today, and there was hardly any wind. There also wasn’t any undertow. She swam out to where Dude was treading water.

  “This is bliss,” she sighed, floating on her back next to him.

  “That’s why they call it paradise, sunshine.”

  “What brought you to Maui, Dude?” she asked as he pulled her out deeper.

  “Look around,” he said, pulling her into his arms.

  She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kicked with him so they glided through the waves. “I mean, what did you used to do? Before being a snorkeling instructor. What did you study at NYU?”

  “I flunked out of NYU. Went out to California for a while. Then Mexico. Now I’m here.”

  He didn’t look at her when he talked, and she got the impression he wasn’t telling the whole truth. But she didn’t push him.

  “Do you surf?” she asked.

  “Everyone in Hawaii surfs,” he said. “I thought you didn’t like surfers.”

  “I like you,” she said, leaning in for a kiss before a wave splashed over them.

  “I like you too, sweet thing.”

  His beard tickled her lips, and she would have gone in for another, but just then he warned her, “Hold your breath.”

  Amelia had just enough time to take a big gulp of air before a wave crashed over them.

  Dude came up sputtering. “So much for romance, huh?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” she said, kicking away from him. “It works for me.”

  “You need to raise your standards, sweet thing.”

  She splashed him.

  “It’s like that, is it?” He lunged for her, and she shrieked as he picked her up and tossed her.

  Opening her eyes under the water, she saw another turtle swim by. She stayed under so she could watch it, and when Dude dove down next to her, she pointed it out. Coming up for air, he grabbed her close. “We call those honu. They’re good luck, but they’re endangered and protected.”

  “Well, it was certainly lucky for me. I saw one yesterday just before you rescued me.” She pressed close to him, wrapping her legs around his. Her thigh brushed the front of his shorts.

  “Are you ever not hard?” she asked him.

  “Not when you’re around.” He cupped her breast and circled her nipple through her bathing suit.

  She kneaded his shoulders. “That feels good.”

  “I like how you touch me.” He tugged on the stiff peak, and she tried to grind against him, but the waves made them too buoyant. She moved so she had her legs wrapped around his waist and she could feel his cock through their thin swimsuit layers. His eyes half closed and he kissed her again.

  Amelia tangled her tongue around his, her body straining to get closer to him. Both of his hands were tormenting her breasts and she wanted out of her swimsuit to give him better access.

  “Please,” she moaned. And then a wave smacked them both.

  “Come on, before we drown.” Dude swam with her to the beach.

  She tried to body-surf in again and got pounded to the sand. The only bright spot was that Dude rolled as well. He helped her up as she tried to pull him back into the ocean with her.

  “No, you don’t,” Dude said, and hauled her bodily to the beach.

  “There is a lot of sand. And most of it is in my cleavage.”

  “Let me see.” He hooked a finger in her bathing suit. “I’d be glad to help brush that off.”

  “You’re on,” she said.

  “Let’s grab some food first. If you promise not to bail on me this time.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Can I get another kiss?”

  “After dinner. If you’re a good girl and eat all your vegetables.”

  “What do I have to do to get oral, then?”

  He stared at her in shock, and she laughed out loud at his expression. “I’m sorry for being obnoxious. I’m just horny as hell.”

  “Fuck dinner,” he said, and hoisted her over his shoulder.

  She shrieked, but in happiness. “Where are you taking me?”

  “The closest lanai.”

  But it turned out he was taking her to a large shed.

  “I call foul,” she said from over his shoulder. “There’s no balcony.”

  He unlocked the door and set her down to lock it behind them.

  “Oh, crap,” he said, looking out the small grimy window.

  “What?”

  “Shh—be quiet,” Dude pulled her into a corner and had her crouch down behind some Boogie Boards.

  The door rattled from the outside. Keys jingled and the door opened. A large, muscular man in a khaki uniform shone the flashlight around and then left, relocking the door.

  “Who was that?” she whispered.

  “That was the resort’s chief of security. His name is Holt Kawena. He’s a good guy, but he’s very by-the-book. Former marine. Even though I’ve got access to this place, what we’re about to do here would be frowned upon.”

  “What is this place?” she asked.

  “It’s a lot of things. Storage, mostly. But it has a shower. Let’s get some of this sand off us.”

  “What’s wrong with your room?” she asked.

  “Too far away.” He took her hand and led her to a large concrete shower cell.

  “It looks like a prison shower.”

  “Done some time, huh? That’s hot,” he said, turning on the water. He slipped off his shirt and kicked off his shorts while waiting for the shower to heat up. Amelia couldn’t move. His body was perfection. She had seen most of it, but the entire package took her breath away.

  “See something you like?”

  She nodded, her mouth dry.

  “Your turn.”

  Slipping the straps of her bathing suit off her shoulders, she paused. “There’s not a dignified way to get out of a wet suit.”

  “I’ll help,” he said, and yanked it down to her waist.

  He held one freed breast in his hand and ducked his head to the other one. “I’ve been wanting to do this from the moment we met,” he said, and took her nipple in his mouth.

  “Dude,” she moaned, and then giggled. She never thought she’d cry out that name out in passion.

  “Something funny?” he said around her breast.

  “Don’t stop,” she begged, holding his head in place.

  His hand was caressing her breast, plucking at her nipple. “God, you’re beautiful,” he said, and led her under the shower spray. Kneeling down, he tugged the suit down over her hips and then to her ankles, where she kicked it free.

  “Now, I believe my lady asked for oral.” He put her foot over his shoulder.

  She went flat against the wall to steady herself. “Please,” she begged.

  “Oh, sunshine, I’m going to enjoy this.” Then his mouth was between her legs. The warm water beat down over both of them and drowned out some of her cries. His tongue soothed over her slick, wet folds. He stroked long and deep, probing through to her core, where he paid special attention to her throbbing clit. Each flick of his tongue shot through her with a sweet glide of desire. Amelia tugged on his hair and opened her legs wider. The scruff on his cheeks rasped against her inner thighs, and she was powerless to do anything but meet each lick with a thrust of her hips.

  She got louder the faster his tongue moved until she could hear her own cries
echo throughout the shed.

  “Damn, sunshine, you taste amazing.” He set her foot down and kissed up her belly to lavish licks and kisses on her breasts. Amelia wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand on her own, but fortunately that wasn’t an option. Dude grabbed the soap and lathered up his hands.

  “This is the best way to get rid of the sand.” He handed her the soap, so his hands were free to massage the suds over her breasts. “I will never get tired of touching you,” he said, thumbing the hard tips of her nipples before stroking over her stomach.

  Amelia was practically purring with pleasure, but she had enough presence of mind to fill her hands with soapy lather. When she handed it back to him, she took his hard cock in her hand.

  “Yeah,” he sighed, dropping the soap and clutching her backside.

  He was thick and long. Her hand stroked the entire length, and then she moved her palm against the tip.

  Dude groaned. “I like how you handle me.”

  Amelia pumped him faster, enjoying the slick feel of him sliding through her hand.

  He rubbed soapy circles over her backside and up her back. Ecstasy. But she was starting to get a little restless. She picked up the tempo.

  “You’re going to kill me,” he grunted.

  “You’re going to come,” she said. “All over my stomach.”

  He kissed her. The shower stream sprayed into their faces, but neither of them cared. As she stroked him, his body tensed. He left off gripping her ass to manhandle her breasts, but she liked the desperation in his touch. It took just a few more tugs, then he went off just like she planned. He growled his release and it was the sexiest damn thing she’d ever heard. Her legs were like jelly.

  Dude was swaying when he turned off the shower spray. “I think we got all that sand off.”

  “I know we got off.” She grinned and then shrieked as he swooped her up in his arms. He carried her to a cot and laid her down on it.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said.

  A few seconds later, he came back with a few towels and a three-pack of condoms.

  “This place has everything,” Amelia joked.

  “All-inclusive,” he said, and folded up a towel to put under her head.