Berlina's Quest

by James Hartley

  When the farmhands all assembled, the farmer said, pointing at Berlina, “Men, you must do what this woman tells you.”

  Berlina said to the men, “All of you, line up. Shortest on one end, and tallest on the other.”

  The men stumbled around but finally got themselves arranged the way Berlina wanted. Berlina and Felistia walked up and down the row, paying special attention to the pants the men were wearing. Finally, the two girls turned to each other, and Berlina cast a silence spell, so they could talk without being heard by the farmer and his men.

  “What do you think, Fee? The shortest ones?”

  “Not the one on the end, even if he is the shortest. Did you see the shit on the seat of his pants?”

  “You’re right. I wouldn’t want to wear those. However, the second and third from the short end look fairly clean. Will those do?”

  “Yes, I think so.”

  Berlina lifted the silence spell, pointed to the two men she and her companion had chosen, and said, “Take off your pants.”

  The two looked at Berlina, and one of them said, “No. No.”

  Berlina repeated, more forcefully, “Take off your pants.”

  When the two still just stood there, the farmer said, “Do as she says. Otherwise, she may kill us all.”

  The two men removed their pants. The girls blushed slightly at the revelation that among farmhands, male undergarments were conspicuous by their absence. Berlina took the pants and handed one to Felistia. The men stood there, hands at their groins, trying to hide the fact that undressing in front of two women caused them to exhibit the gallant reflex. Berlina ignored them and led Felistia into the barn.

  When they emerged a few minutes later, they were wearing the pants, and had their skirts tucked up around their waists. “We should be able to ride bareback, now. Don’t you agree?” Berlina asked the farmer. He just nodded.

  The three mounted the horses, making sure that Lathan was on the largest and strongest one, and started to ride off. As they got to the edge of the farm, Berlina looked back. The farmer was trying to get his men—at least the six who still had pants—back out in the fields with little success. Berlina, Felistia, and Lathan proceeded eastward at a slow walk.

  “Can’t we get da horses to go, like, faster?”

  “Not these horses,” said Berlina. “If we try to go much faster, we’ll kill them. When we get to a town, I’ll see if I can trade these three in for three better ones…with saddles.”

  “Geese, how are yu gonna do dat, still wid no money?”

  “Simple enough, Lathan. Just what we did here…we’ll steal them. We’ll steal three good horses. Only this time, we’ll leave these nags in their places and call it a ‘trade’. With luck, we’ll be out of town before our little peccadillo is discovered. That’s why we need to eat first. Then, we’ll do our horse trading.”

  “Okay, youse is da boss, Princess.”

  Berlina leaned over to Felistia and whispered, “Is it just me, or does this guy get a little exasperating at times?”

  Felistia just laughed.

  As they approached the town, one of the first buildings was a tavern with three horses tethered in front of it. “What luck,” said Berlina. “See those three? They are wearing decorative barding in the maroon and orange colors of Prince Drailsen. I can hardly think of any horses I’d rather steal.”

  The three went over and tethered the nags to the rail, then went inside. Except for the bartender, the place was empty. Berlina went up to the bar and ordered three meals.

  “Money?” asked the bartender.

  Berlina exhibited a gold coin, and the bartender nodded. He scooped out three plates full of whatever it was he had in a large, cast iron pot, apparently some kind of stew, and took the plates to a table.

  “This place seems kind of empty,” Berlina said to the bartender. “There are three horses outside. We expected to see their riders in here.”

  “Oh, well. They are here but upstairs. They ate, and just a few minutes ago, they took all three of my barmaids upstairs for a tumble. As long as it isn’t busy, I can get by without them for an hour or so. I expect those men will take their time with the girls.”

  The three sat down and ate. When they finished, Berlina laid the gold coin on the table, and they got up and left.

  When they were outside, Felistia asked, “Where did you get the gold, Bee? I thought we were broke.”

  “Fairy gold, Fee. Fairy gold. I just hope he doesn’t touch it to cold iron before we get out of here.” She turned to Lathan. “Can you remove the decorative barding from the troopers’ horses and put it on our nags? Quickly?”

  “I can do dat.” Lathan went to work and quickly accomplished the task.

  “Good,” said Berlina. “That will make the glamouring easier.” She muttered a spell, and suddenly, the three nags looked just as the troopers’ horses had before the barding was removed. “Mount up, and let’s get out of here.”

  She untethered one horse and mounted. Felistia and Lathan did likewise. They headed down the road through the middle of the town. They held the horses to a fast walk, so it would not look as though they were fleeing.

  They were almost to the far edge of the town when they heard a shout behind them. The bartender from the tavern had run into the road and was yelling, “My gold. My gold.” Behind him, one of the prince’s troopers had hobbled into the road half-naked with his pants around his ankles. Two upstairs windows flew open, and the other two troopers were looking out.

  The one in the road talked briefly to the bartender, then suddenly realized his state of undress and pulled his pants up. He gestured to the ones upstairs, who abandoned their posts and rushed down into the road. They went to mount the horses they thought were theirs, but quickly realized something was amiss. They discovered the saddles were illusions, and that they were mounted bareback. Nevertheless, they attempted to give chase.

  The nags moved forward at the best pace they could, but by now, Berlina and her companions had brought their horses to a full gallop and were outdistancing the troopers. One of the troopers attempted to spur his horse to a faster pace, when the horse suddenly collapsed and fell over dead, pinning the rider to the ground. The other two troopers came to a halt and went back to help their fallen companion. By the time they freed him, Berlina and the others had disappeared in the distance.

  Now, the glamour faded from the dead horse. It was obviously an old farm nag wearing the decorative barding. The troopers looked at the other two horses and the glamour faded on them too. It revealed two more old nags instead of their fine mounts. They took the reins, and walking, led the two horses back to the tavern. “After all,” said one of them, “we paid for the girls. We may as well go back and get our money’s worth. After that…well, we can figure out what to do.”

  * * * *

  A few miles out of town, Berlina and the others slowed their horses to a walk. “Don’t want to overexert them. It’s best to vary the pace every once in a while.”

  “That’s for sure,” said Felistia. “I think one of those idiots killed the nag he was riding by pushing it too hard. I’m pretty sure I saw it go down just before we got out of sight. The guy deserves a good whipping.”

  “I don’t know about that, but now, they have two horses for three of them. That may be enough punishment.”

  They reached a small stream they easily forded. There was a path on the other side leading upstream along the banks. Berlina signaled that they should turn off the road. They followed the path until they reached a pleasant clearing surrounded by oak and elm trees. “We’re out of sight of the road. I think this would be a good place to stop for a rest. I want a chance to check out the saddlebags on these horses and see if there’s anything of value.”

  “Uh, ya mean we gotta give it back, cause we ony wanted to steal the horses and not da other stuff?”

  “No, Lathan. We stole it all, and we’re going to keep it all,” said Berlina. “Those were Prince Drailsen’s me
n. After the way the prince imprisoned us, he gets no favors from us.” She started rummaging around in the saddlebags of the horse she had been riding.

  “Spare uniforms…phew…not even clean!” She threw them in the bushes. “A halfway decent dagger…guess I’ll keep that. A pile of paper…damn! He has a stack of ‘wanted’ posters with my picture on them. That son of an incestuous swine, Drailsen!”

  She put the papers back. As she moved around to the other side of the horse, Felistia asked, “Why are you keeping those papers?”

  “Handy for starting fires with,” Berlina said, “or for wiping my…well, never mind.” She dug into the other saddlebag. “Some packages of food and…aha! Down at the bottom, a pouch of gold. Not too much. I’ll bet he spent a lot of what he had on the barmaid. I hope he gets his money’s worth from her, because I have a feeling that’s going to be his last pleasure for a very long time. When his boss finds out how he and his companions lost their horses…”

  Felistia went through the bags on her horse and found much the same things, while Berlina checked Lathan’s horse—not trusting him to do it himself.

  Finally, Berlina gathered everything together. “A little gold, some food, a few knives and daggers, and a pile of other junk. We’re a heck of a lot better off now than we were before. I don’t know how long we have to keep going. I doubt the gold will last to the end of our quest, so we’ll still have to steal a bit here or there, but it will help. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to steal from Drailsen’s men. If not, we’ll steal from whoever we happen across. I don’t like stealing, but needs must when the devil drives. Look, it’s getting on toward evening. I think we’ll spend the night here and push on in the morning.”

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” said Felistia.

  Lathan just nodded his head.

  Rather than go hunting, they pulled out the supply of food they found in the saddlebags. They made a small fire to toast the stale bread and scraped the mold off the cheese, ending up with a barely passable meal. After eating, they spread out on the ground and went to sleep.

  In the morning, Berlina sent Lathan out to find some more bargabird eggs. While he was gone, she said, “Fee, maybe I was hasty in complaining, yesterday. Lathan does have his uses.”

  “Yes, he does, but I wouldn’t get too enamored of him. You don’t know if you’re going to find a cure. You wouldn’t want to get serious with him the way he is now.”

  “Oh, I’m not talking about getting serious. Mother would have a fit if I, a princess, took up with a common guardsman—brain dead or normal. No, that just wouldn’t do.”

  When Lathan returned with the eggs, she scrambled them with chopped up bits of a rather greasy sausage from one of the saddlebags. Once again, they toasted the stale bread, making a breakfast that was edible but little more.

  After they finished, Berlina said, “We are going to have to go back down to the road. Keep a sharp eye out as we approach it. The last few hundred feet, we will need to dismount and walk the horses.”

  They got back to the road, moving cautiously. When they found no enemies in sight in either direction, they mounted up and headed east.

  For most of the day, the road ran through forest and wilderness, and they saw nobody. As the sun started to set, they spotted another path going off to the side and followed it until they found a small clearing to camp in. The evening and the morning were a repeat of the previous day, but as they finished breakfast, Berlina said, “We’re pretty much out of the food from the saddlebags. Either we’re going to have to find a village, or we may have to do some hunting.”

  “Hey, Princess. I got my bow and arrers, and I’m a good shot. Hunting is purty easy.”

  “Perhaps I could change and bring down a deer or two,” said Felistia. “In my cat form, I’m faster than most of the wildlife.”

  “We’ll see how far we get, today.” Once again, Berlina led them slowly and carefully back to the road, and as there was nobody in sight, they mounted up and once again headed east.

  Chapter Ten

  Dolorophus

  As the three rode down the road, Berlina suddenly halted her horse and signaled for the others to stop.

  “What’s the matter, Bee?”

  “See those two bushes of yellow flowers with a path leading between them? I think we’re being told to take that path.”

  “Why would you think that? There have been any number of little paths along here. Why this one?”

  “Fee, don’t you recognize the yellow flowers? Those are forsythia bushes. I’m going to assume they were put there by…”

  “Forsythia! Your witchcraft teacher! Okay, okay. Now I see why you want to take that path. The plants are her way of telling you there is something important here. Lead on.”

  Berlina turned her horse and headed down the path, followed by Felistia and Lathan. It seemed to go on forever, but eventually, they got to a clearing containing a small but well-built cabin. Berlina dismounted and walked around it, her wand at the ready in case of traps. When nothing happened, she went to the door and pulled it open, then hurriedly backed away, coughing and choking.

  “What’s the matter?” asked Felistia.

  “It stinks!” said Berlina. “A horrible smell. I swear I’ve never run into anything half as bad. You two come closer, slowly and carefully. See if either of you has ever encountered this before.”

  Felistia moved in closer, then grabbed her nose and backed away, but Lathan sniffed at it and said, “It’s like…a dead poyson. Dey all stink like dat a few days after dey bin kilt. I smelt lotsa dem after a battle.”

  Berlina opened the door again, while holding her breath, and looked in. There was a body on the floor clad in Sorcerer’s clothes. It had obviously been dead for a while. The exposed parts, like hands and a face, were rotting away.

  One side of the cabin had the door in it, and the side walls contained windows. The far wall had a large, stone fireplace but no other openings.

  “Lathan,” Berlina said, “since you’re used to this, I want you to go in and open the windows and air this place out. Be careful, though. Don’t step on the body.”

  “I’ll be real, real careful,” said Lathan as he went in. Shortly, he came out again and said, “Dey’re open.”

  The three waited twenty minutes or so until the smell diminished to tolerable levels, then went in to look around.

  Felistia focused on the body, to see how the wizard had died. It didn’t take long for her to see the arrow through the man’s throat, and she said, “Come look at this, Bee. Cause of death is pretty obvious, but look closely—maroon and orange fletchings on the arrow. Drailsen’s colors.”

  “Well, I guess that tells us one thing,” said Berlina. “Not all sorcerers are on Zatarra’s side. This one must have been opposing Zatarra, and look what it got him. There’s a book on the floor. It looks like he might have dropped it when he was killed. Everything else looks neat and proper. Let me see…”

  Berlina pulled out her wand and began scanning the cabin and the corpse. “Interesting,” she said. “There was nobody in this room with him when he was shot. The arrow must have come in through the door and gotten him. Warriors, troopers, would have been afraid of entering a sorcerer’s dwelling, so I’m assuming they didn’t have any magic users with them. If they had, they would have searched the cabin. Zatarra would never have missed an opportunity to grab anything faintly useful in the magical line, so I assume he wasn’t here. Therefore, we are going to see what we can salvage.” She started looking carefully, paying special attention to books and anything that looked like wands or other magical tools. Felistia continued her search while Lathan, bewildered as usual, just stood in the middle of the room and watched the two girls.

  Berlina seemed most pleased with the book she found on the floor. “Fee, this is a grimoire of sorcerer’s magic. Forsythia told me that it differs from witch’s magic. She said I could probably learn it and use it, but she felt improving my witchcraft was a better use
of my time in class. However, with this book, I’ll be in better shape to handle Zatarra if we run into him.”

  “That sounds good,” said Felistia. “Does it say who this guy is…er, was?”

  “Yes, inside the cover, it’s inscribed ‘Property of Dolorophus’. Below that, it says ‘The funeral is on page forty-five’. Funeral?” She flipped to the indicated page and read it silently. “It’s an incantation to be used after Dolorophus dies. I’m going to wait until we’re finished here and back outside before I invoke it. I’m just a little worried about what it might do.”

  Felistia went back to exploring and said, “Hey, take a look at this. A crystal ball.”

  Berlina looked at the device, then went back to her pile of books, pulled one out, and flipped it open. “Yep, here it is. How to use a crystal ball. You cast certain spells to focus it on an enemy. Then, you can go back and spy on him later. It can actually be set up with several ‘channels’ to watch several enemies at once. This we are definitely taking. When…if I get a chance, I’ll set it up on Zatarra and Prince Drailsen. Fee, see if you can find a soft cloth—a towel or something. I want to wrap it up, so it won’t get scratched.”

  After she wrapped the crystal ball, Berlina held her wand out and spun around in a circle. There was a brief flash of light, and she swung back, aiming the wand where the light had been, until she got a steady indication. “Right next to the fireplace, there’s something there.” She walked over and tugged at a wall panel, but it didn’t move. “Lathan, can you use your sword to pry that panel loose?”

  “Yeah, shur.” He stuck the point of his sword into the crack between that panel and the next, and then gave it a sudden push. The panel popped off and fell on the floor, revealing a shallow compartment containing a book.

  Berlina grabbed the book and began to examine it. “The book is titled Faces of Evil. Each page seems to be about a sorcerer or a wizard, with Zatarra right up front on the first page,” she told Felistia. “In fact, someone handwrote on Zatarra’s page, ‘the evilest face of all’. Looks like we have a roster of bad-guy magic users, probably compiled by our dead friend on the floor.”