The Other Woman

by Sandie Jones

  The bottle spun and landed on Charlotte.

  ‘Truth or dare?’ Seb declared.

  Her eyes darted to me. ‘Truth.’

  ‘I’ve got a question,’ Pippa called out. ‘What’s your biggest regret?’

  She seemed to know what was coming. ‘I stupidly thought I was in love,’ she said. ‘Only problem was, he wasn’t mine to love, he was my best friend’s.’

  I could feel Pippa and Seb bristling beside me.

  Tess gasped loudly.

  Charlotte went on, ‘I naively believed that everything would work out for the best, but of course it didn’t. It never does.’

  ‘So, what happened?’ asked Tess. ‘Did your friend find out?’

  Charlotte stared straight at me. ‘Yes, in the worst possible way, and I’ll never forget the look on her face. She was broken into a thousand pieces.’

  My chest tightened.

  ‘Was it worth it?’ Tess pushed. ‘Did you stay together?’

  ‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘We both loved her more than each other, and once we’d realized the hurt we’d caused, it was over. A silly mistake with so much consequence.’ A tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. ‘I wouldn’t advise it,’ she laughed tightly, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

  I swallowed back my own hot tears, only realizing fully at that moment the pain I’d been holding in for all those years. I’d never really stopped to take stock of the enormity of losing my boyfriend and best friend, seemingly to each other. I’d just stuck my head in the sand and soldiered on, in complete denial of the damage it had done. Maybe I thought that by not acknowledging it, it would somehow make it go away, make it seem as if it’d never happened. I’d almost convinced myself that it was the best thing that had ever happened to me; it had certainly sorted out the wheat from the chaff and I was better off without them. Except I wasn’t. Until then, Tom had been the love of my life, the man who I was going to have babies with. And Charlotte? Well, she’d been by my side since we met in Year Three of primary school.

  ‘Joined at the hip, those two are,’ my mum had commented to her mum at the school gate. ‘They’ll be together forever.’ Her mum had nodded, smiling, and from then on, not a day passed without us speaking to each other. We’d gone to the same secondary school, been on holidays together, and even got our first jobs just a few streets away from each other behind Oxford Circus. I’d call her mum every few days for a catch-up, as she did mine. It felt like we’d come from the same mould, had the same stamp running through us. But she’d proved we were nothing like each other at all.

  Looking at her now, as she wiped the tears from her eyes, I grieved for the times we’d lost. The love and laughter we could have had, instead of the pain and hatred.

  ‘Okay, so who’s gonna be next?’ cried Seb, as he spun the bottle again.

  A chorus of ‘whooaaah’ grew louder as the bottle began to slow down.

  ‘Emily!’ They all called out, clapping. ‘Totally deserved,’ shouted somebody. ‘The mother hen needs to repent of her sins.’

  I smiled unconvincingly. ‘I have no skeletons in my closet.’

  ‘We’ll see about that,’ Pippa said, laughing.

  ‘Can I ask?’ pleaded Tess.

  I drained my glass and turned to her expectantly. ‘Truth or dare?’ she asked.

  ‘Truth.’

  ‘Okay, have you ever been unfaithful?’ she asked.

  I didn’t even need time to think. ‘Never.’

  There was a collective groan. ‘What, never? Not even when you were younger?’ Tess asked.

  ‘Nope, never.’ I looked to Charlotte, my oldest friend, to vouch for me.

  She shook her head.

  ‘Well, it all depends on what constitutes being unfaithful,’ said Tess, rather forthrightly. ‘I mean, are we talking snogging, sexual relations, or full-on sex?’

  They laughed and feigned shock at normally quiet Tess’s outburst.

  ‘What are sexual relations even about?’ asked Pippa. ‘They talk about that all the time on Jeremy Kyle, you know, when they do the big lie-detector reveal. “Have you, since going out with Charmaine, had sexual relations with anyone else?”’

  ‘Well, it’s more than a kiss, but not as much as proper sex.’ Tess giggled. ‘So, it’s got to be anything in between.’

  ‘Oh, well, that makes it a whole lot clearer, Tess. Thanks for enlightening us,’ Seb said.

  ‘Maybe it’s about even more than that,’ cut in Pammie. ‘Maybe even having the intention is enough to be deemed as being disloyal?’

  ‘Crikey, Pammie,’ called Pippa. ‘If just the idea of it means you’re being unfaithful, I’d be the biggest floozy ever known to man.’

  I laughed as Pammie crinkled her nose in distaste. ‘I’m not talking about the thought of it in your head. I’m talking about the very real intention of doing something wrong, such as agreeing to meet someone when you know that’s the way it’s going to go.’

  ‘I don’t know that that constitutes being unfaithful, Pammie,’ stated Pippa.

  ‘It is if you keep the meeting a secret from your partner . . . regardless of whether you go through with it or not. The mere fact that you went there, fully in the knowledge of what might happen . . . that’s being unfaithful in my book.’

  There was much tutting and disagreeing amongst the girls and Seb. ‘That means I’ve been unfaithful to my Dan several times,’ pitched in Trudy, suddenly downcast at the suggestion.

  ‘So, you’ve met someone, specifically with the intention of going to bed with them?’ asked Pammie.

  ‘Well, no, but I’ve met guys on nights out that I’ve found attractive.’

  ‘And have you ever arranged to meet any of them again, on the basis that both of you know why you’re there? Because, let’s be honest, that would be the only real expectation,’ continued Pammie.

  ‘Well, no . . .’ said Trudy.

  ‘So, you’re fine then,’ she went on. ‘I’m just saying that if you were to meet someone with the sole intention of cheating, even if you don’t go through with it, are you not being unfaithful?’

  There were a few more muted nods than when she’d last posed the question.

  ‘So perhaps you should ask Emily the same question again,’ she went on.

  My ears were starting to burn as I looked at her through narrowed eyes. Images of me and James flashed behind them: us looking cosy in the corner of a back-street cafe; the pair of us perched on stools in an exclusive hotel bar, his hand on mine, the body language that must have screamed, ‘will they, won’t they’. I knew what it looked like in my head, and I could only imagine what it would have looked like to someone else. Had someone seen us? Is that what she was implying?

  Tess looked at me. ‘Okay, so I’ll put it to you again, Miss Emily Havistock, have you or have you not ever been unfaithful, by intention?’

  Pammie crossed her arms in front of her and raised her eyebrows, seemingly waiting for my response. She couldn’t possibly know, could she? There would be no reason for James to tell her. Why would he? And the chances of someone seeing us and putting two and two together were a million to one. I was just being paranoid.

  I looked straight at her. ‘No, never.’

  She bristled in her chair, and the others turned their attention to the next player, but she mumbled something under her breath and I was sure she said, ‘James.’

  23

  ‘What a fun night,’ said Mum, as we stood in front of the bathroom mirror, taking our make-up off. We were both swaying. Well, I was anyway. Maybe me swaying made it look like she was swaying too.

  ‘I haven’t laughed like that in years,’ she said, as she lifted one leg up to unbuckle her shoe.

  I smiled. ‘I think that waiter had the hots for you.’

  ‘Oh, stop it!’ She laughed, before leaning precariously towards me, one leg still in the air. ‘Ooh, Em, help!’

  I caught her as she leant into me. ‘What are you trying to do?’
I giggled.

  ‘Well, if I could just . . .’ she said, before dissolving into hysterics. I caught hold of both her elbows before she fell to the floor. I’d never seen her like this before.

  ‘And how good is it to see Charlotte again?’ she said. ‘I really am pleased that you sorted things out with her. No friendship is ever worth losing over a boy, especially not one like yours and Charlotte’s. I said the very same thing to Pammie.’

  Just hearing her name sobered me up. ‘What did you say to her?’ I said, careful to keep my tone light.

  ‘Just that,’ she said unhelpfully, still sitting on the bathroom floor. ‘When I told her what had gone on, I said how sad it was because you were so close, you and her, weren’t you?’

  There was a heat bubbling away under my skin. I sat down on the floor beside her. ‘Why were you talking about it, Mum?’

  ‘Pammie asked if there might be anybody that we’d left off the invite list. She was just double-checking that everybody that was supposed to be coming to the wedding was coming. I told her that I thought we had it covered, but when she started asking about friends from your younger years, it got me thinking.’

  ‘Ah, that makes sense,’ I said, although inside I was screaming, what the hell’s it got to do with her? We were paying for our own wedding, and Mum and Dad had paid for our honeymoon. Pammie had no right to ask questions.

  ‘So, I said that the only person that wasn’t invited, who under any other circumstance would have been, was Charlotte.’

  I nodded my head, feigning patience and trying desperately to sober up.

  ‘And then you told her everything that had happened?’

  ‘Well, to some extent, yes. I didn’t think it appropriate to go into how you found out. I just said that Tom and Charlotte were seeing each other behind your back.’

  There was a vice-like grip squeezing my chest.

  ‘Right, let’s get you up,’ I said, holding her under her arms.

  She giggled all the way into bed, and I quietly left the room and closed the door.

  I went across the landing and down the corridor to the bedroom at the back of the house, my stride getting faster and heavier with each step.

  I flung the door open without knocking.

  ‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ I hissed.

  Pammie didn’t even look up from the book she was reading. ‘I wondered how long it would take you,’ she said.

  ‘How dare you?’ I spat. ‘How dare you invite yourself to my hen weekend and bring her with you?’

  ‘I thought you’d be pleased,’ she said. ‘I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity to bring you back together again.’

  She put the book down on the bed beside her and took her glasses off, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

  ‘It’s such a shame,’ she went on, ‘to have a good friend and lose contact with them. Was it over anything in particular?’

  So, she wanted to play? Okay, let’s play.

  ‘No, not really,’ I said matter-of-factly. ‘We just grew apart.’

  ‘Well, when I heard that you’d met at school and used to be so close, I couldn’t stand the thought of someone so special not being there on your big day,’ she said, a glint in her eye. ‘I ran a search on that computer thing, what do they call it? Book Face, or something?’

  God, she was good. But she seemed to have forgotten that Adam wasn’t here now. He couldn’t hear the piteous tone in her voice or see the simpering look on her face. No doubt he’d glow with pride at her ingenious detective work. ‘Ah, bless her,’ he would have cooed. ‘How thoughtful is that? Isn’t she incredible?’

  I smiled. ‘Facebook, Pamela. It’s called Facebook.’

  She flinched and pulled up sharply, the childlike act gone in an instant. ‘I don’t have to be civil to you,’ she hissed. ‘But, for better or worse, you’re going to be my daughter-in-law.’

  I grinned. ‘Indeed I am, and I, for one, can’t wait.’

  ‘You’d do well to lose the sarcasm,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t become you.’

  ‘And you’d do well to stop being such a bitch.’

  Her eyes flashed dark as she drew in her thin lips, revealing the gum line above her two front teeth, like a snarling dog. ‘Have you really no manners? Do you honestly think my son is going to stay with someone like you for the rest of his life?’

  I sensed there was more to come, so I stood with my arms folded in front of me, waiting for the onslaught to continue.

  ‘He could have anyone he wanted,’ she went on. ‘So why on earth he’s settling for you, I don’t know. But he’ll see sense eventually, you mark my words. I just hope that it comes sooner rather than later.’

  I smiled, as if her vicious words were rolling over me, like water off a duck’s back, but every syllable was like a sword cutting through the very strings that held my heart in place. I felt as if I had gone back in time, been transported back to primary school, to when nasty Fiona had loomed over me in the corner of the playground, and had laughed as I lay sprawled on the ground, my blue gingham dress caught up around my waist.

  ‘Why are your knickers dirty?’ she’d sneered. ‘Look, everyone. Emily’s pooed herself.’

  Other children came over to point and laugh, while I hastily pulled my dress back down and went to get up. Fiona offered me her hand, but as I reached up to take it, she pulled it away and I fell back again. ‘Oh, silly, dirty Emily.’ She laughed, and everyone around her joined in, if only for fear of being picked on themselves. ‘You might want to go and change, ’cause no one is going to want to sit next to someone who smells of shit.’

  I could still feel that shame and embarrassment. The heat that had scorched my cheeks, even though I’d battled feverishly to stop it. I’d run towards the toilet block, where the usual gaggle of kids blocked the way. I pushed through them just as the bell sounded for the end of playtime.

  ‘Emily Havistock, the bell has gone,’ shouted Mrs Calder from the other side of the playground, seemingly with eyes in the back of her head. I chose to ignore her, preferring to incur her wrath over Fiona’s. I banged the cubicle door shut and locked it before pulling my knickers down to check for marks. There was nothing but a scuff of dirt where I’d fallen onto the dusty tarmac. I don’t know why I’d believed it would be anything else. I burst into tears then, the type that you try so hard to hold in, for fear of knowing that, once they start, they may never stop.

  The type that was threatening to fall now, some twenty years later, as I stood in front of another bully. I swallowed them back down and fixed Pammie with a steely stare.

  ‘When are you going to realize that Adam and I are going to be together forever?’ I said, my voice wobbling ever so slightly.

  She tutted and rolled her eyes. ‘I don’t think so.’ She sighed. ‘You don’t stand a chance.’

  I moved closer to her. ‘I’m marrying your son, and no matter what you say or what you do, you will never stop that. It is going to happen, whether you like it or not, so I suggest you start getting used to it.’

  She leant in even more, so that our noses were almost touching. ‘Over my dead body,’ she spat.

  24

  ‘You seem to have quite a fan,’ Adam mused, as he snuggled up to me. It was 2 a.m. and he’d been home for an hour, most of which had been spent making love. I was never going to turn that down, especially after we’d been apart for four days, and he’d no doubt had every imaginable temptation put in his way in between times. But now I was tired and needed to get some sleep before the alarm went off at six.

  ‘Mmm,’ I murmured. ‘Who?’

  ‘Mum,’ he said jubilantly. ‘She said she had a great time, and you made her feel really welcome.’

  I drew in a deep breath, waiting for the sarcasm to pass before he told me what she’d really said. God, had she really got to him that quickly? Spoken to him even before I had? He’d only been on English soil for a couple of hours.

  ‘So. Thank. You,’ he whispered
, in between planting kisses on my cheek.

  I turned to face him.

  ‘What?’ He laughed.

  I thought back to the vow I’d made – to never see her again, after the wedding – when she’d questioned my relationship with Seb.

  Her comment had come out of nowhere, whilst I was sunbathing by the pool, the morning after our fight. ‘You do realize that you won’t be able to see so much of Seb once the wedding’s been and done with, don’t you?’ she’d said.

  I hadn’t even realized she was up, let alone lying next to me by the pool. I didn’t move a muscle, just opened my eyes under my sunglasses to see Tess and Pippa snorkelling in the shallow end.

  There was no one else around.

  ‘Is that so?’ I’d replied.

  ‘Yes, it is so,’ she’d sniped. ‘It’s not right, you having such a closeness to another man. Adam is prepared to put up with it until the wedding, but once you’re married, Seb is going to have to go.’

  I still didn’t move, though my muscles were twitching beneath my skin and all I really wanted to do was jump up and tear her eyes out.

  I kept my voice steady. ‘Adam said that, did he?’

  ‘Yes, he’s always had concerns. He told me at the very beginning how unhappy he was about it.’

  ‘I don’t know if it’s slipped your attention, Pamela, but Seb’s gay.’ As soon as it came out, I wanted to suck it back in again. It felt like I was justifying our relationship to her by saying that him being gay made it okay.

  ‘I fully appreciate that,’ she’d sniffed. ‘But it’s not right. He shouldn’t be here. Adam was horrified when he realized you were inviting him.’

  Adam had not so much as breathed a word of it to me. He wouldn’t dare. But now, thinking about it, we’d never had that conversation, ever. Mine and Seb’s relationship was just what it was, had always been, long before Adam had come along, and I’d thought, assumed, that he’d accepted it, but perhaps he hadn’t.

  ‘What did he say, then?’ I’d asked confidently.

  ‘He just couldn’t believe it,’ she’d said. ‘Gay or not, he’s still a man, and he’s cavorting with his girlfriend, going on her hen weekend. It’s embarrassing for him.’