Wow…
She moaned again, and a male groan followed.
I tensed. Holy shit. I felt like a creeper, sitting here and peeing while listening to two strangers go at it like animals. I finished and flushed the toilet before stepping out of my stall. I walked to the sink and reached to turn on the water. Before I could, I heard the dude speak.
“Fuck yes. Your pussy is so tight, baby,” he groaned.
My blood ran cold. It couldn’t be. I walked to the handicap stall they were in and pushed the door open. They hadn’t even bothered to lock it. I felt like I was going to vomit. Adam had the girl pushed up against the wall while he fucked her brains out. I took a step back and then another. He raised his head, my movements catching his attention. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he looked away. He never stopped fucking the little bitch.
I turned and ran. I ran out of the restroom and out of the bar. I didn’t stop running until I made it back to Drake’s house. I ran inside and grabbed my keys off the table next to the door. Eric was nowhere to be seen, thank God. I turned and walked right back outside to where I’d parked my car. With shaking hands, I unlocked my car and climbed in.
I didn’t move. I didn’t start my car. I just sat there.
He’d been with that woman less than an hour after he’d been with me. Bile rose in my throat. I threw my car door open and vomited in the grass. When nothing but an empty feeling remained in my stomach, I sat back up.
This hurts so fucking bad. How could he?
I knew he was angry and hurting from what he’d told me about Hilary, but he should’ve stayed with me. I would’ve been there for him. Instead, he had gone out and found the first girl who would fuck him. It hadn’t taken him long at all either.
All this time, I’d sworn that I was over him. It’d been a fucking year since we last saw each other. That should’ve been more than enough time to move on and forget about him. But I hadn’t. Instead, my pulse had sped up the moment I saw him. He had been all I could see, and I’d instantly lost myself in him. He obviously hadn’t felt the same way.
I took a deep breath. My head felt like it was going to crack in two. I rested it against my car seat and closed my eyes. This was it. This moment was the one that would change everything. There was no going back now, not after what he’d said to me earlier. Then, I’d watched him with someone else. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take it anymore.
He’d won. He’d broken me. I’d fallen in love with a man who didn’t give a damn about me, and now, I was paying the price. I felt like my life was over.
“No,” I whispered to myself. “It isn’t over. I just have to start over.”
I promised myself that I would never let Adam touch me again. I wouldn’t let him near me.
This chapter of my life was finished. I had to start over—without Adam.
Two Years Later—August
Morgantown, West Virginia
People come and go in life. It happens. But there are those who I thought I’d have forever.
God, I was so naive.
Chloe had left me first. She’d moved to California long ago. She’d live in L.A. when Drake wasn’t on tour, and when he was on tour, she’d follow him across the country and then the world. She was living the married life with her rock god of a husband.
Her leaving had stung, but it’d been bearable since I’d still had Logan. Our terrible threesome had been dropped down to a duo, and it’d sucked, but I could handle it.
Then, Logan had left. He’d been gone for almost a year now. I still couldn’t believe it. Logan had always been so in love with Chloe that I was sure no other woman would ever catch his attention. I had been wrong. He’d fallen for Jade, and after several months of fighting with her and himself, he’d finally pulled his head out of his ass and gone after her, so he was in L.A. now, too.
And I was completely alone.
I hadn’t seen Logan since he left, and it’d been even longer since I’d been face-to-face with Chloe. I would still talk to both of them on the phone, but it wasn’t the same.
I felt abandoned and lost. The house we’d rented had felt empty without their bickering and laughter. Once, I’d thought it was too small, but after they’d left, it’d felt huge. As soon as my lease had been up, I’d moved into a smaller apartment only a few blocks away. I hated it, too. It was so quiet. I didn’t do well with quiet.
I’d graduated from college a year ago. Shortly after, I’d found a job at a local law firm, working as a paralegal. It wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it paid decent, and I was content with it. I’d made nice with a few of the other girls I worked with, but I didn’t feel close to any of them. It wasn’t their fault. They’d welcomed me with open arms. No, it was all on me. I wouldn’t dare get close to anyone, too afraid that they’d leave me like everyone else.
I hadn’t spoken to Adam since that night. I’d seen him several times, just not in person.
Breaking the Hunger had exploded in the last two years. They were constantly on the radio, online, and on the television rock channels. I couldn’t escape them even if I tried, but I didn’t. I hated myself every single time I’d search for the band’s name online. I’d watch their music videos over and over, my eyes glued to Adam the entire time.
I hated myself for it. I hated Adam, too. He’d broken me and left, not once looking back. For all he knew, I could be dead. No, that wasn’t true. Chloe would’ve told him that, I was sure, but I doubted if he’d even care.
I hated men in general. I would still go out from time to time when I had an itch that needed to be scratched, but it wasn’t often. I didn’t crave sex the way I used to. Adam had ruined even that for me. Yeah, I was a little bit bitter.
Add in the fact that my two best friends had abandoned me, and it didn’t take me long to sink into depression.
I had no idea why I’d chosen this bar tonight. I stared around Gold’s as I took a sip of my cranberry vodka, my favorite drink. There were so many memories here, haunting me with every sip I took. I should’ve gone to another bar, any other bar, but I’d come here. I knew why. I didn’t want to be alone, and the memories here were as close as I could get to my friends and…him.
I also had an itch that needed to be scratched. It’d been almost two months since I had sex, and my body was constantly reminding me of that. Even my body had been plotting against me lately.
As soon as I’d come home after work today, I’d all but ripped off my dress slacks and white button-up shirt. I’d gone to my closet to find the dress to end all dresses. I’d found it quickly—a bright red dress with no back. It was low-cut, showing almost too much cleavage, and it barely covered my ass, but it was perfect for what I wanted—male attention.
And I garnered lots of attention tonight, but none of the men who had approached me sparked my interest. I finished off my drink and put the glass on the bar. This night had been a disaster. Despite the craving my body had, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with some scumbag’s pick-up lines tonight. I grabbed my purse and stood to leave.
Before I could move, someone called out my name behind me. “Amber?”
I turned to see a man standing a few feet behind me. I squinted at him, trying to figure out who he was. Finally, it clicked. “Alex?”
He grinned as he walked over to me. “Yeah. Damn, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”
“Yeah, it has,” I said as I studied him.
It felt like decades had passed since I’d hooked up with him my freshman year. He’d been the start of my decline, whether he’d realized it or not.
He sat down next to me. “How have you been?”
I settled back down onto my barstool. “Not too bad. I’m working as a paralegal at a local law firm.”
He nodded, giving me a small smile. “You look good.”
My eyes traveled down his body. “You do, too.”
He’d obviously changed a little over the years but not much. He was no lon
ger the teenager I’d hooked up with at a frat party. His blond hair was cut shorter now. His blue eyes were still gorgeous. He’d beefed up over the years. His tight black shirt clung to his body, showing off the muscles in his arms, chest, and stomach.
He grinned. “Can I buy you a drink? I’d love to catch up with you.”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
He motioned for the bartender to come over. I asked for another cranberry vodka before turning my attention back to Alex.
“So, what have you been up to?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I graduated with a degree in engineering. I’ve been working for the power company for about six months. I work a lot, but I like it so far.”
“That’s…impressive,” I told him. And it was. It took far more brainpower than I was capable of to get an engineering degree.
He smiled. I turned my attention to the drink the bartender had just set down in front of me. I took a sip of it before turning back to Alex. I glanced down his body again. We’d had fun together before, but I’d grown bored with him quickly. I couldn’t help but wonder if that would still apply. He was definitely attractive. He was also the first man I felt interested in all evening.
He leaned closer to me. “Keep looking at me like that, and our chat will end earlier than expected. I’m more than willing to do more than talk with you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I see you’re still as forward as ever.”
He shrugged. “I just remember how good you are in bed.”
I glanced down, and something caught my eye. I froze when I saw a gold band wrapped around his finger. Anger rushed through my body. The fucker was married.
“So, anything else interesting happen to you in the past few years?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice calm.
“Not really.”
“You sure about that?”
He gave me a questioning look. “Um…yeah. Why?”
“I don’t know. I would think getting married is a big deal.” I pointed at his ring.
He swallowed roughly before looking away. “Yeah, I suppose it is.”
“You’re an asshole,” I told him. “What the fuck are you doing in a bar, flirting with me, if you’re married?”
He looked back up at me, his eyes blazing. “I didn’t come here to pick a girl up, if that’s what you’re thinking. Believe it or not, that wasn’t my intention when I saw you either. I just wanted to say hi. But then…I got distracted.”
I snorted. “Again, you’re an asshole.”
His nostrils flared. “Well, my wife’s a bitch, so I guess that makes us a good pair.”
“I guess it does.” I grabbed my purse and started to stand. “Nice chatting with you.”
He grabbed my wrist before I could leave. “I’ve been married for two years now. I’ve hated every minute of it. I think she has, too.”
“Then, why don’t you just leave her?”
“It’s not that simple.” He glanced down to where he was holding my wrist.
He ran his thumb across my skin, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through my body. If he weren’t married, I would offer to let him come back to my apartment.
“It is that simple. If you love her, stay faithful. If you don’t, then leave. End of story,” I told him.
“It’s not that easy if your father-in-law is also your boss,” he grumbled. “Trust me, if I thought I could leave, I would, but I like my job. There aren’t a lot of openings in the area for someone with my degree, and I want to stick around Morgantown.”
I studied him for a moment. “What do you want me to say here, Alex?”
He shrugged as he released my arm. For some stupid reason, I settled back down onto the barstool.
“There’s really nothing you can say. It did feel good to get that off my chest though.”
“I can’t believe you got married in college. From what I remember, you were all about not settling down.”
He grinned, but it faded quickly. “I was. Then, I met Joanne, and…yeah, I thought I loved her. When she pushed me to get married, I didn’t want to, but she wore me down. Then, once we were married, she started to change. The sweet, kind girl I fell for disappeared. In her place was a stuck-up, controlling, mean woman who lived to piss me off. It’s only gone downhill from there.”
“Have you tried counseling?” I winced. Why the fuck was I trying to give out relationship advice? I was the last person who should be doing that.
“No. She wouldn’t go anyway. She’d be afraid someone might find out that our lives aren’t perfect.”
I stared at him. God, he looked so…defeated and just plain old sad. “Alex, you shouldn’t waste your time on someone who makes you this miserable.”
“I’m trapped. There’s no way I’m going to throw away my career and home just to escape her. I’ll deal.”
I finished off my drink and motioned for another one. It looked like I wasn’t going to drive myself home tonight.
“Love sucks,” I mumbled as the bartender put another drink in front of me.
I picked it up and took a drink and then another. Listening to Alex talk about his problems was reminding me of my own.
“Yeah, it does. The worst part is that I doubt if she even loves me. She just likes the fact that I’m hot, and I bring home a nice paycheck.”
I grinned. “You are kinda hot.”
He chuckled. “I know.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes as I drank my concoction, and he sipped his beer.
“I think she’s cheating on me.”
I almost choked on my drink. “Why do you think that?”
“She’s been…distant lately, more than normal, and she’s never home. She tells me that she’s out with her friends, but I don’t buy it. She was supposed to be out with her friend Samantha one night, but then I saw Samantha at the gas station without her. I know Joanne is lying, but I can’t catch her. I’m not even sure if I want to.”
“Damn,” I mumbled.
“Yeah. So, as you can see, my life is pretty fucked-up right now.”
“Just a little,” I mumbled.
He grinned. “You still hate me for hitting on you?”
“A little. I’ve decided not to punch you in your junk though. Consider that a win.”
“My junk thanks you.”
I laughed. I realized the alcohol was starting to hit me as the room spun a little, and I had to grab the bar.
“Whoa, you okay?” Alex asked, his voice full of concern.
“I’m fine,”
“You don’t look fine.”
I glared at him. “The vodka is catching up with me, that’s all. I think I need to head home.”
“You’re not driving,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “Wasn’t planning on it. I’ll call a cab.”
“Let me take you home.”
I shook my head.
“Come on, I won’t bite.”
I pointed to the beer in his hand. “You’ve been drinking, too.”
“This is my first beer, and it’s still half full. I’m fine.”
I shook my head again. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me a little closer. “Let me take you home. I have nowhere else to be. It’s not like we haven’t been alone before. I promise to be good.”
I studied him for a moment before sighing. “Fine. Come on.”
He grinned as he helped me stand. He kept his arm around my waist as we walked through the bar. I tried to shove it away, but he wasn’t having it.
“If I let you go, you might fall. I’m only watching out for you.”
“Sure you are,” I muttered as we stepped outside.
I took a deep breath. The night air seemed to clear my head a little. Alex led me over to where a brand-new Dodge Charger was parked.
I whistled. “Nice ride.”
“Thanks. I just bought it a few months ago. I’ve wanted one of these suckers since I could walk.”
He helped
me into the car and then walked around the front to the driver’s side. Once he was settled in, he started the car and pulled away from the lot. I gave him directions to my place before leaning back against the seat and closing my eyes.
The first thing I noticed was how good his car smelled. It was a mix of leather and something distinctly masculine, maybe his cologne. I breathed deeply, enjoying the smell. I felt myself drifting off as the movement of the car relaxed me.
Alex didn’t speak until the car stopped. He nudged me gently until I opened my eyes. “We’re here.”
I mumbled, “Thanks,” as I fought to find the door handle. Once my fingers wrapped around it, I forced the door open. It felt like it weighed a million pounds.
“Need some help?” Alex asked as he opened the door further.
I hadn’t even noticed him getting out of the car.
He grabbed my arm and helped me stand. I leaned into him as he shut the door, and then he walked me to my apartment building.
“What floor are you on?” he asked.
“Second,” I mumbled. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I cursed the fact that my building didn’t have an elevator. Stairs weren’t going to be my friends tonight.
“I’ll help you up. Come on.”
We stumbled into the building.
I groaned as I looked at the stairs. “This is going to suck.”
He chuckled. “I got ya.”
Before I could say anything, he scooped me up into his arms and started up the steps. My protests fell on deaf ears as I tried to get him to put me down.
“Which apartment?”
“First door on the left.”
“Keys?”
I dug through my purse until I found them. He continued to hold me as I unlocked the door. It only took three tries or maybe four. I wasn’t sure. Once we were inside, he flipped on the light switch by the door.
“Want me to dump you on the couch or take you to your bedroom?”
“Bed. Down the hall, second door.” I rested my head against his chest. God, he felt good.
He carried me to my room and gently laid me down on the bed. He pulled off my shoes and dropped them on the floor.
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