Fighting Shadows

by Aly Martinez

  Living in Eliza’s old apartment had its perks. The memories were abundant, and they carried me through more than just a few lonely nights. However, it also had its downfalls. It wasn’t wheelchair accessible, so it made even the simplest of tasks extremely difficult. I also had all of those memories haunting me but absolutely nothing tangible to ground me.

  I missed her.

  I missed Till.

  I missed Quarry.

  I missed Slate.

  But most of all, I missed Flint Page.

  I was wasting away. Hell, I’d thought I was half a man months earlier; I wasn’t sure there was even a proper fraction to describe myself anymore. It wasn’t just my physical appearance, either. My desire to fight was gone. Once my nemesis, wallowing became a way of life.

  The only thing I was actually doing well in was school. Despite my advisor’s recommendation, I was taking the maximum amount of hours allowable for a freshman. I fucking loved the distraction. School was probably the only aspect in life in which I didn’t have to struggle. It had always come easy for me.

  My life might have been a mess, but it was at least simple. I had a schedule that drove my day. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, study, go to sleep. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

  However, with a single knock on my front door, everything I had worked so hard to maintain crumbled in front of my eyes.

  But like a second bullet to the back, it also changed my life.

  “About fucking time,” Slate said, pushing me out of the way as he strode inside.

  “What do you want?” I replied with an attitude I never would have dreamed of using with Slate before that moment.

  “Did you join a cult?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

  “What? No?”

  “Then what the hell is that dead animal on your face?”

  I rubbed the scruff on my chin. “Did you come here to critique my grooming habits?”

  “No. But I would have brought you a razor if I had known you were having such a difficult time getting your hands on one.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How’d you find me?”

  “Leo followed you from class about six months ago.”

  “Awesome,” I mumbled.

  “Till got worried after he knocked on the door of every dorm on the first floor of the entire fucking college. Don’t worry. I didn’t tell him where you’re living. Your secret’s safe. You really should have given him your address. That was a dick move.”

  “Why? So he could have busted in here like you? I’m doing my own thing right now. I needed some space.”

  He walked over to the couch and flopped down, stretching his long legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. “So let me get this straight. You decided to just disappear and take some space. To hell with your family. Flint’s the only one who really matters, right? You’re more important than the people who love you and miss you, right?” He popped a knowing eyebrow. “It must run in the family. Seems to me that’s exactly what your mom and dad did to you.”

  My head snapped to the side, and rage boiled my blood. “That’s not at all what I did! I am not my parents!”

  “Could have fooled me.” He shrugged. “Just for future reference, you can have space and family. Phone calls and the occasional visit wouldn’t fucking kill you. But this little disappearing act you pulled is killing them.”

  I shook my head. He didn’t get it. And short of spilling all of my dirty laundry at his feet, he never would.

  “Awesome. Good pep talk. You done?”

  “Nope, not even close.” He smiled and pushed to his feet. “Your brother has been blowing up your phone this week for a reason.”

  “I’ve been busy.”

  “Well unbusy yourself. Your mom showed up at Till’s with the cops on Monday and took Quarry.”

  “What!” I yelled, never wishing that I could fly to my feet more. “She can’t do that!”

  “She can and she did. The law got involved, and Till has no formal custody agreement. Even though she abandoned you boys, she is still biologically your mom. Quarry’s only fourteen, so he defaults to her until a court date can be arranged.”

  “You have got to be shitting me,” I breathed.

  “We got a whole legal team involved and managed to get Till weekend visitation while we worked out a court date for next month. But that still means Q is gonna be living with your mom during the week until then.”

  “Son of a bitch.” I raked a hand through my hair. “Is Till freaking the fuck out?”

  “You can’t even imagine. I actually just dropped him off at the gym. I spent the last twenty-four hours trying to bail him out of jail.”

  “Jail?” I exclaimed.

  “Apparently, Till went to pick him up yesterday and your mom’s husband refused to let Quarry leave with him.”

  “Her husband?” I clarified in shock.

  “Yep. She married Ray Mabie, and that piece of shit was dumb enough to step between Till and Quarry. All hell broke loose.”

  Suddenly, I had a sickening feeling in my stomach. Nothing stood between “The Silencer” Till Page and his family.

  “Did he kill him?” I asked.

  “Nah, but Ray left in the back of an ambulance. Till was in the back of a police car.”

  “Fucking hell,” I cursed in relief that the death penalty was at least off the table.

  “Anyway, I need you to go pick up Q. Till isn’t allowed within two hundred feet of Mabie’s house, and it has to be an immediate family member to pick him up, which means Eliza and I are out.”

  Just the mention of her name twisted my gut. “I, uh, I mean . . . I can’t.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I can’t. I mean, I can. But—”

  “Okay, let me rephrase this.” He slapped the back of my head. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Your brother is sitting at your worthless-piece-of-shit mother’s house. You remember what growing up with that woman was like, right? Don’t give me any of this bullshit about can’t. Get your fucking keys, get in your car, and, if you have to, break every goddamn traffic law on the way to pick him up.”

  “I’m not going back to Till’s to drop him off. I’m just not!” I shouted.

  Slate crossed his thick arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at me. “You care to tell me why not?”

  “Because I’m not going back there.” I paused before throwing in, “Ever,” so there was no confusion.

  “Fine. Bring him to the gym. You know, it wouldn’t kill you to come inside and put in a decent workout too. You look terrible.”

  “I’ll drop him off.” I had zero intention of going inside that gym, and no insult Slate could sling at me would change my mind.

  “Flint—”

  “Excuse me. I’m supposed to be racing to pick up Q right now. I’ll drop him off at On The Ropes in a little while.”

  He sucked in a resigned breath and shook his head. “Fine. I’ll text you the address. But for the record, don’t for one second think that you have anyone fooled. You’re not getting your shit together by holing yourself up in this apartment. You’re avoiding it. But you know what? Problems don’t need a map. They’ll follow you everywhere. You can’t hide forever, Flint.”

  “Noted,” I smarted back.

  He chuckled without humor, and the muscles of his jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth. “Man the fuck up, son.” He shook his head then stalked out the door.

  “Excellent advice, Slate! Bravo. Really,” I yelled after him, but the door slammed without another word spoken. “Fuck,” I whispered to the empty room.

  “FLINT!” MY MOTHER YELLED AS she opened the door. Clutching her imaginary pearls, she cried, “Oh my God, look at you.”

  “Debbie,” I acknowledged without actually greeting her.

  “You’re in a wheelchair,” she whined in the most nerve-grating way possible.

  Folding my hands in my lap, I copped as much attitude as I could muster. I had so much indifference
for the woman standing in front of me that even being an asshole, something I usually excelled at, was difficult. It was hard, but I still managed to snark, “Very astute observation.”

  “Don’t treat me like that. It’s not fair. I didn’t know until last week that something happened to you. Till didn’t even bother telling me.”

  “Really? He didn’t call you or anything?” I questioned dryly.

  “No! My son was paralyzed and he didn’t even have the common decency to let me know.”

  “Wow. What an ass!” I said with a large dose of sarcasm that sailed right over her head.

  “This is all his fault. I don’t know where he gets off acting like he does. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would have happened.”

  “You know, I never expected to say this when I came here today, but I absolutely agree with you. Me being in this chair is one hundred percent Till’s fault.”

  Her eyes lit with shock that shifted to pride at my agreement. Mine lit when I realized I would be able to force them to dim again. Suddenly, being an asshole wasn’t so difficult anymore.

  “Actually, there are a lot of things that are Till’s fault.”

  Her smile expanded. God, it felt so fucking good to see that on her face—it was going to feel amazing removing it. I became damn near giddy.

  She checked over her shoulder before leaning in close and whispering, “Flint, he’s an animal. Did you hear what he did to Ray? I thought he was going to kill him.”

  “I know! That’s another one of Till’s fuck-ups in life,” I said seriously. I mirrored her move and leaned forward in order to whisper, “He should have killed him.”

  Her head snapped back in surprise and just as quickly as her smile fell, mine grew.

  “Excuse me?” she asked.

  “I’m actually really impressed with Till’s self-control. You had the balls to show up at his house unannounced, with uniformed officers, to take a child he has been raising for years. I figured you’d be picking out a casket right about now.” I laughed loudly.

  “He belongs with his mother!”

  “Are you shitting me? Quarry’s gotten in his fair share of trouble, but he’s never done anything that would warrant the cruel and unusual punishment of being forced to live with you again.”

  She gasped. “How dare you speak to your mother that way!”

  “Oh, I dare, all right. How dare you think you’re someone’s mother! Were you thinking of Quarry when you decided to uproot him during this petty excuse of a custody battle?”

  “I missed him.”

  “You missed him? Did you miss him when you abandoned us?” I roared. “What a load of bullshit,” I sneered. “You are such a piece of work. You were absolutely right. It is Till’s fault that I’m sitting in this chair right now, because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be alive at all. Who the fuck do you think cleaned up your mess when you walked away? Who exactly do you think fed us and put a roof over our heads for the last three years while you were off doing God knows what? We were kids! So yeah, it’s all Till’s fault. And thank fucking God for that.”

  “I should have known you three assholes would gang up on me. You have no idea what you are talking about or why I left. I didn’t have a choice.”

  “We all have choices. Even worthless wastes of oxygen like yourself.” I turned to wheel away. “Do me a favor and tell Q I’m waiting out front.”

  “No need,” Quarry said, jogging out the door.

  “No. I’ve changed my mind. You aren’t going anywhere!” she yelled, but I heard Quarry’s footsteps continue behind me. “Quarry Page! Get your ass back in here!”

  “No can do! It’s Till’s weekend!” he shouted over his shoulder before grabbing the handles of the wheelchair to push me faster.

  “Stop!” I snapped.

  “Then go faster, before she calls the cops.”

  “Ray!” my mother screamed.

  I glanced back while Quarry continued pushing me to the car. Ray Mabie came lumbering out of the house, and a simultaneous gasp and laugh flew from my mouth. His face was nearly unrecognizable, and I’m not just saying that I didn’t recognize him as Ray—I didn’t even recognize him as human.

  “Holy fuck!” I cursed.

  Quarry followed my gaze only to bark out a laugh. “Dude, you should have seen it. Till lost his shit!”

  “Dude, you should have seen it. Till lost his shit!”

  “It looks like Mabie’s face found it.”

  “That guy is such a cocksucker. Mom doesn’t give two shits about having me back. This is all about Till.”

  “No, they’re up to something. This is all about Till’s money,” I corrected, sliding into the driver’s seat of the van. “Christ, when did you get so big?” I asked as Quarry shoved my chair into the back.

  “When did you shrink? You look like dehydrated shit.”

  “I see that your stellar personality has remained intact.”

  “I see that you’re still a cranky asshole. Must be from sitting on it all day,” he sniped.

  My lip twitched, but I quickly tucked it away. “Something like that,” I mumbled, starting the van and becoming familiar with the hand pedals again.

  “You look like a child molester driving this thing.” He laughed, looking around the van. “When we get to a stoplight, I’m going to start crying and pounding on the window for help.”

  “You do that. I’m sure dear old Mom would be happy to come pick you up off the side of the road.”

  “Oh, please. No, she wouldn’t. One of her reality shows might be on. I’d have a better chance hitchhiking while wearing an ‘I’m a serial killer’ T-shirt than getting her off her ass to do anything.”

  “I see she hasn’t changed, either.”

  “Hey! Slow down for a second.” Quarry jumped to his feet, scrambling into the backseat.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I bit out as he slid the back door open.

  Not two seconds later, a girl dove into the van.

  “Fuck,” I cursed, slamming on my breaks.

  “Don’t stop!” Quarry shouted.

  “Go!” he and our new guest yelled in unison.

  Quarry slammed the door. “Go! Before they see us!”

  “Who?” I questioned, confused about what the hell had just happened and who this chick was. I still appeased them both by peeling off, complete with squealing the tires on the minivan. It was a sad new level of manliness.

  “You drive a party bus!” the girl exclaimed, standing up off the floorboard and dusting imaginary dirt off her pants.

  She was young, but I could tell she was a good bit older than Quarry—at least eighteen, maybe even nineteen. Judging by the way she crouched over to keep her head from hitting the roof, she was pretty tall. Her long, strawberry-blond hair cascaded down over her shoulders, stopping just before the curve of her large breasts. The same large breasts I allowed myself several seconds to check out before snapping out of it.

  “Who the fuck are you?” I growled as I pulled into the gas station on the corner.

  “Flint, this is Ash. Ash, this stud of a man is . . . Okay, okay. Enough about me.” Quarry laughed. “Ash, this here is the king of the rolling throne, better known as my brother, Flint.”

  “Hey, nice to meet you. Can we stop and get something to eat?” She flashed me a bright smile.

  “Sure!” I sarcastically returned her enthusiasm before dropping it completely. “Get out.”

  “Nah, I’m good,” she replied, not even remotely fazed. “There’s a really good burger place up the street.” After flopping down on the bench seat, she crossed her long legs at the ankle and lifted her neon-green Converses to rest on the arm of my folded wheelchair.

  I watched in disbelief as she intertwined her fingers and rested them behind her head. She might have been completely relaxed, but as her breasts strained against her tight T-shirt, I became the opposite.

  “Shit,” I whispered to myself. God, I needed to get laid.
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br />   “Come on, man. Don’t be an ass. She’s cool. I swear,” Quarry interjected.

  “Thanks, Q! I think you’re pretty cool too.” She smiled, and it was genuine—a fact that infuriated me. As far as I was concerned, those didn’t exist anymore—at least, not in my life.

  “I don’t give a shit about ‘cool.’ Why the hell are you jumping in my car?”

  “Your car?” she asked, looking back at me, crinkling her nose.

  “Yes, my car. I could have run over you back there.”

  “Oh! You mean the party bus! Sorry. You confused me with the whole ‘car’ thing.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a pack of gum.

  I was hard up. Since I’d walked away from Miranda the gold digger, I’d been in quite the dry spell. It wasn’t exactly like women were throwing themselves at me though. Nothing says sexy like rolling into a room. Sure, it had been a while, but even if I had just finished fucking my way through the female population of the city, I still would have gotten rock hard from watching her fold that rectangular stick of gum into her mouth. Something about the way she slowly pressed it against her tongue left my mind reeling with a million different ideas of what else I could put in that mouth.

  “You want some?” she asked, extending the pack toward me.

  As a matter of fact, yes. I do.

  Clearing my throat, I turned back to face Quarry, who was staring at her with his mouth hanging open.

  “No. I need you to get out,” I lied. I needed her to get naked.

  “Are you always this much fun?” she asked condescendingly, but again, she didn’t bother to move toward the door—or remove her clothes.

  “Oh, you have no idea!” Quarry exclaimed.

  “Well, I bet a burger would fix you right up. They have the best milkshakes too. Oh. My. God. They make them with real homemade ice cream. You have to suck so hard just to get it through the straw.” She looked up at me and blatantly licked her lips before raking her teeth across the bottom one.

  Fuck. Me.

  As she giggled, it was apparent that she was just fucking with me.