Marry Me Twice

by Monica Walters

  She nodded. Whether she was using me or not, I didn’t know, but I didn’t care. She could keep on using me until she used me up. “Thank you, Haji. You’re like my guardian angel.”

  “Quit saying thank you, man. I don’t wanna just be your guardian angel, baby. I wanna be your everything. Since the first day I saw you. I didn’t even approach you that first time… just watched this beautiful, black skin walk across the parking lot. When I saw you again, I knew I couldn’t let the opportunity to talk to you pass me by. All that was before my dad died. So, relax in this. Pretend that I never asked you to marry me… I mean until we actually go do it.”

  She giggled and rubbed her hands down my chest. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. This shit was gonna be harder than I anticipated. “How long before we do it?”

  “Do what?”

  My mind was on filling her with this African rod of satisfaction. “Get married.”

  “Oh, umm… maybe a month from now so it won’t look as suspect. My family doesn’t know much about my personal life, so they have no idea if I have a girlfriend or not. The last time I was there, I vowed I wouldn’t go back.”

  Chinara had learned a little about my family when we went to lunch at Longhorn Steakhouse. When she’d talked about her parents and sister and how she moved to the country to go to school and had lived with her aunt, I felt like I should tell her a little about my family. All she knew really was that my dad had just died and that my mother and brothers still lived in Freetown. She obviously knew that we were wealthy by my proposal, but I hadn’t told her anything about my relationship with any of them, besides my dad. I could see her eyes widen slightly at my admission. “Why?” she asked.

  “I feel misunderstood a lot. Because I chose to live my life differently, it was like I was outed by my family, despite my accomplishments. Nothing I did was ever good enough for my father and it was like everyone followed his ideologies. Since I didn’t agree with him all the time, my family looked at me as the rebel and somewhat detached from me. My mama talks to me occasionally, but that’s about it.”

  She stepped closer to me and said, “So, you don’t really have anyone you can really talk to about things either, huh? I haven’t talked to my family in almost three months, but it isn’t because we aren’t close. My family is poor and they’re rooting so hard for me. I didn’t want to stress them out by telling them what I’m going through. My mama isn’t in the greatest health. I miss them so much.”

  “Call them. You’re good now.”

  I lifted her hand and kissed it, then walked away before I could give in to my urge to suck her bottom lip. I needed a fucking ice bath.

  8

  Chinara

  As I browned the stew meat, I jammed to Haji’s music playing through the speaker system in his house. He’d stepped out for a moment and I took the time to find my way around his kitchen. This moment in my life was surreal. This handsome, rich man was feeling me… wanted me to marry him to get his inheritance, but eluded that if things were good between us, we could stay married. This was so uncomfortable but the most comfortable part about it was that I was so attracted to him.

  When he pulled me onto his lap, I could have stripped right then. Feeling a man’s erection was like foreign territory. I hadn’t been that close to a man in five years. But in all my sexual career of twelve years, I’d never felt a dick so big, powerful-feeling, and desperate for satisfaction. The temptation was so real. Although I was living here, I didn’t know Haji. Our situation was unique, but at the same time, I wanted to take things slowly until I got to know him as a person.

  His kiss was pure bliss and I wanted to give in to him so badly. When I felt his strong grasp on my ass, I nearly said to hell with it. While it caught me off-guard, it felt good to my soul. Everything about him had me at hello, but I was fighting so hard against him. I was in a position I never wanted to be in again. Needing someone else always made me feel weak, but when their help had stipulations, it made me nervous. Haji said that he was feeling me before he knew about this and I wanted to believe that.

  It was hard for me, though, because of my past experiences. All the men I’d had sex with only wanted that one thing. While there had only been three, I’d struck out on love. I was determined to not let another man use me, but in Haji’s case… it was like my body was betraying me. It wanted him to use every inch of me for his satisfaction. As I sautéed the vegetables, I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan as Rotimi played through the sound system. My body began grooving to the sounds of “Next to Your Love.”

  I believed he’d put this playlist on intentionally. The song before this was talking about if I was your man. He was seducing me with music. It was working. My panties were so wet, I would surely need a shower once the food was simmering. I’d already cooked the rice in his rice cooker. I turned to look at the huge island in the middle of the kitchen and admired everything about it… imagining myself spread eagle on the white, granite countertop. Quickly turning my head back to the stove, I knew I had to hurry and get this food going. The gushiness between my legs was becoming a bit much.

  Right after getting the roux done and adding the meat and vegetables, along with water, I was preparing to head upstairs for a shower. However, Haji walking through the door halted me. I smiled at him and he offered the same. “It smells good in here.”

  “Thank you.”

  As I turned to head upstairs, he said, “Chinara, hold on. I have something for you.”

  I turned back to him in time to see him pulling out a small box. My eyebrows lifted and he said, “I bought you a ring. Although this is put on… I don’t know.”

  I walked over to him and stood there in front of him with my head down as I watched my mama do over the years with my daddy. I knew what he was trying to say. It felt somewhat real. Sensitivity to him was flowing through me and I knew I needed to get away from him. “Lift your head, Chinara. Look at me. This ain’t that old traditional shit.”

  He smiled, then grabbed my hand and slid the beautiful diamond ring on my finger. It was so gorgeous. When I looked up at him, I said, “Wow. This is beautiful. How did you know my ring size?”

  He took one of my rings out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Snatched it up when I was helping you put your things away before I even popped the question,” he said, using air quotes, then chuckled.

  I smiled then looked back at the ring. Although I knew this wasn’t real on the inside, it was definitely real on the outside. “I think we should update our social media pages and post a few pictures of us.”

  “Okay. What about your women?”

  He frowned. “Women?”

  “You don’t have anybody you kicking it with? You said you weren’t celibate.”

  “Nobody important enough for me to care. It’s just sex. You know more about me than any woman I’ve ever dealt with since I’ve been here.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Na come on, so we can take this picture.”

  I giggled, then straightened my hair as he put his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I smiled big and held my hand up as he took the picture. “You’re a great actor,” he said as he leaned against the island, staring at me.

  “So are you.”

  I walked away, feeling his eyes bore into my back as I headed up the stairs. As I ascended, I looked over at him to find his eyes on me. I wouldn’t last long. My body was ready to offer him the gift without a box or gift bag to put it in. The throbbing in my panties was driving me crazy and it was only going to get worse. Maybe I should just give in. It wasn’t like he was a complete stranger. I did know a little bit about him.

  Walking into my room, I could hear him coming up the stairs. I could feel the heat around my neck, threatening to choke the shit out of me. Grabbing the scrunchie from the dresser, I pulled my thick hair up as he appeared in the doorway. He didn’t say a word and neither did I. When I lowered my hands from my hair, I walked closer to him, then leaned my bod
y against his. His erection was teasing me, but we couldn’t do this now. Could we? No. No. No. “I just wanted to tell you that I would watch the food, so take your time,” he said in a low voice.

  He leaned over and softly kissed my neck, pulling me even closer to him, molding my body against his. Slowly, I slid my arms around his waist, then looked up at him. Our attraction was strong, and it seemed like we couldn’t quench our desires. Sliding my hands up his body to his face, I pulled him to me and kissed his lips tenderly. When I pulled away, the fire in his eyes all but scorched me.

  Slowly backing up, he eased forward, like a puppy begging to be fed. Glancing down at his bulge, I was torn. We weren’t a real couple, but it felt like we were. Did I want him to get satisfied elsewhere? I didn’t, but why was I putting that on me? As I looked away uncomfortably, Haji said, “I better go back downstairs.”

  He turned quickly before I could respond. Sliding my hand between my legs, I gripped my sex and whispered, “Oh fuck.”

  I needed to release, and I knew my body wouldn’t calm down until I did. My shit was raging, begging for him to douse my fire. Closing the door, I stripped and immediately slid my finger inside of me. I moaned as I used my other hand to grip one of my nipples. Grinding against my finger, I knew I needed more. Sliding another finger in, I lifted my leg and rested my foot on the bed. My hips instinctively rolled against my digits as my juices rolled from my palm and down to my elbow.

  I hadn’t been this turned on in years. What in the fuck was he doing to me? I wanted to scream out to him to come put me out of my misery, but instead, it came out as a whisper, “Hajiii… yes.”

  My eyes closed as I finger fucked myself, trying to achieve an orgasm that would cool me off. That would have to suffice for now. The more my fingers penetrated my folds, the faster my hips rolled. I used my thumb to rub circles around my clit and the sensations I felt had me whimpering in satisfaction. “Oh my God,” I whispered. “Yes…”

  Images of Haji’s face between my legs were enough to take me over the edge. My sounds of passion got louder, no matter how I tried to contain them. I practically fell to the floor trying to control the jerks of my body as my orgasm covered my hand. I heard a loud pounding, then a growl from Haji. “Fuck!”

  Slowly pulling my fingers from my extremely wet tavern, I wondered if he was jacking off. Going to the bathroom, I turned on the shower, then washed my hand and arm. Going back inside the bedroom, there was a knock at the door. I went to it and answered through the door. “Yes?”

  He was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Your whimpers of satisfaction are so sexy. Chinara… damn. Let me have you.”

  His breathing was heavy and so was mine as I rested my forehead against the door. “Let me take your body places that you can’t. I promise I’m gon’ be ten times better than your fingers were. Let me in, Pretty Black.”

  His voice was low and steady, and it caressed every part of me. Resting my fingers on the doorknob, I thought hard about what we were about to do. My pussy was ready for sure, but my heart wasn’t. My heart needed more assurance that this wouldn’t be over once he got what he wanted… not me, but his inheritance. Just him calling me pretty black made me wanna see what that bow in is legs was all about.

  I could hear him breathing as he waited for my decision. Just as I was about to open the door, he said, “It’s okay. I know you aren’t ready. Whenever you are, you free to hop on this dick anytime, anyplace. I promise to take you to ecstasy every time, Pretty Black Doll.”

  I could hear him walk away and I wanted to melt to the floor. Why didn’t I say anything? I was so fucking horny; I could pass out from desire. But something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to give in to him. Even though thoughts of him had led to the best self-pleasuring session I’d ever had. If thoughts of him could do that, then I knew the real thing would probably kill me. My body was sacred to me, though. I needed some sort of commitment before surrendering to him. If he said that I was the only woman for him, then I’d lay before him, allowing him to do with me as he pleased. Attraction… desire… lust… none of that was enough for me.

  Finally making my way to the shower, I couldn’t deal with how hot it was anymore. My shit was still contracting from the aftershocks. The shower would be for nothing if I was in a full sweat when I got out. Haji could have it all. Getting to know his heart was more overwhelming than I had imagined. He was intelligent and could flip the script in a minute. I learned that just from conversation. He could sound like a thug from the American streets or a highly cultured, intellectual man from London.

  His accent was somewhat of a mix. Since Sierra Leone was once inhabited by the British, a lot of natives had that accent mixed with their African accent. Haji was just everything a woman could want. The only issue for me was the casual sex. Hopefully, he was wrapping up. As I washed, I thought about what my plan would be. I still would continue to look for a job. Although he said I didn’t have to work, I needed to be able to provide for myself. When the seven to eight months were over, what if we couldn’t stand each other?

  Getting out, I quickly dressed in an oversized shirt and leggings, then made my way downstairs to check on the food. Haji was stirring the pot, wearing basketball shorts and a wife beater. Dear God. His biceps were shining like he’d rubbed oil on them. He was so damn sexy. Turning to me, he stared at me, slowly licking his lips. “I think it’s ready.”

  Using the spoon, he scooped up some for me to taste. He blew it to cool it off but incited a whole new fire within me. I sipped it from the spoon and closed my eyes as I savored the taste. “Mmm. It is. Let me prepare you a plate.”

  “Chinara, I can fix my own food. Let me fix yours, though.”

  I stared at him as he went got a couple of bowls from his cabinet. Once he spooned rice in both bowls, he went to the stove to fill our bowls with beef stew. I’d put potatoes and carrots in it as well. The seasoning was perfect. I never got it right on the first attempt, but I guess there was a first time for everything. I was waiting for him to bring up what happened before our showers, but he didn’t say a word. Bringing our bowls to the table, he smiled at me and said, “So, I’m glad you can cook. Maybe I won’t have to eat fast food so often. Sometimes when I get off work, I don’t feel like cooking.”

  “I love to cook.”

  Pulling his wallet from his pocket, he took a card out of it and slid it to me. “This is for whatever you might need. I go back to work Monday. So, if there’s something you need, you can use this. I also need a list of your bills so I can pay them.”

  I fidgeted in my seat some, but I didn’t pick up the card. This shit made me so uncomfortable. “I don’t wanna make a habit of being forceful with you, Chinara. Take the card. I expect to have that list tonight. I know for sure you have a car note, insurance, and a phone bill. Hit me with all of it.”

  I swallowed hard as I looked at the credit card. He stretched out his hand and I put mine in his. As he blessed the food, I couldn’t help but think about how blessed I was. Just when I thought God had forgotten about me, he sent Haji to my rescue. Taking a deep breath, I looked at him and said, “Okay. Besides the bills you mentioned, I have a storage bill for my aunt’s furniture.”

  “That’s it? I want even the minor shit like XM Satellite or Apple Music or whatever.”

  “Okay, Haji.”

  I smiled at him as he stood to get our drinks. Instead of being uptight, I supposed I should just thank God for the elevation and keep my previous mantra when I didn’t have the help. Worry about tomorrow when it got here.

  9

  Haji

  Chinara had put her foot in that damn stew. It was so good. I already knew that I would boil her some seafood tomorrow. Remembering how her stomach growled in the store that day when she looked at it on the conveyor belt still plagued me. She was starving that day. I never looked at being able to buy groceries as a privilege until that day.

  Sliding that ring on her finger felt right as hell. I knew slidin
g in between her walls would feel right as well, but I would do that shit on her timing. Her moans took me down earlier. I had to go jack off just to get the edge off. I’d hit the wall and had to verbalize my satisfaction. I came so hard in that toilet, my knees had buckled. Thoughts of her… making love to her… fucking her, had me like a damn hound dog on her scent.

  After we finished eating and cleaning up, she sat at the table and made a list of her bills on her phone, then sent it to me, along with how to pay them. What she had was less than eight hundred a month. Since neither of us had a thing to do tomorrow, I brought her to the couch and let her pick a movie for us to watch. After picking Love Jones, she snuggled into me. Putting my arm around her, I found myself praying for strength because being this close to her as badly as I was fiending for a taste was torture.

  I found myself playing in her hair just so I didn’t see the romantic moments playing out on the screen, but I found that wasn’t any better. When Nia Long’s character and Larenz Tate began making love, she looked up at me, then ran her fingers through my beard. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, biting my bottom lip. I needed to get in some slick shit, for real. She slid her hand over my cheek and pulled my face down. “You can change the movie. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “It’s cool. We can watch it. You just can’t be moaning all loud and shit when you masturbate tonight. I had to jack off. And to be clear… I’m not complaining about anything, but I never beg. You had a nigga willing to give a lung to slide in that pussy, Pretty Black.”

  The light from the TV allowed me to see the goosebumps on her arms, but I also heard her breathing go shallow. I leaned over and kissed her neck, then nibbled at her ear, torturing my damn self. We were going to have to stay away from moments like this. She turned to me and laid those pretty lips on mine, slipping her tongue inside my mouth, giving me life with its every stroke against mine. I squeezed her thigh, then quickly pulled away from her. “See, I know you craving that intimacy shit right now, but I can’t go that far with my intimacy. My dick hard as shit right now.”