Secrets of the Weeping Willow

by Kathleen Anastasia

  Panic consumed her, swallowing her whole as she sensed the danger the woman would be in. Then knowing as clear as if it was happening at that moment that this woman was her mother and no other. She also knew they were not going out for fun they were going out to do the bad things. Wanting to stop her before... before what?

  Unable to hold onto the vision, its slipped away until she once more found herself standing in the long line, her mother gone, and the legs of the people around her like prison bars blocking her. A child with big blue eyes watched her with curiosity from behind a pair of legs, a hand reached through pulling her forward.

  Elizabeth pulled back as the overhead announces for a Josie Wilson, the hand pulled her more firmly as she attempted to stop the forward momentum by digging her heels into the floor, panic overcoming her, closing her eyes, the desire to run strong. Her mother’s voice soothing, Elizabeth opened them once more to an impatient look, as she knelt in front of her, “It is our turn, darling.”

  She shook her head in denial, “But it’s not our name.”

  “Remember what I said, it’s our name now. Now be a good girl and don’t say a word.” Her mother said as her words became distant, her face drifting away from Elizabeth.

  The next moment she found herself hiding in a small cube, a small hole her only light. A muffled voice pierced her ears through her hands that covered them, her mouth opened in a soundless scream as she shook her head in denial, her eyes transfixed as Roger hits her mother once more, demanding she tell him where she hid the money, the evidence. Her beautiful mother stood defiantly against his brutality.

  She had promised her mother that she would stay hidden, but the desire to defend her was so strong, a scream just beyond her lips as she bit them to keep the urge at bay, the taste of blood mixed with her salty tears. She couldn’t watch anymore without breaking her vow, her head turned away from the nightmare as she hid her face in her upright knees. The space small and confining, bile rose in her throat, time meaningless, her body rocking, the sound of flesh hitting flesh broke through the frail barrier of her hands as she contracts them into fist hitting her ears over and over to stop the madness.

  A voice full of desperation broke through the nightmare, the words an echo in her head, beckoning her to return to turn away from the past. Elizabeth felt the past slip away as though she was watching a whirlpool rotating, taking the visions into its depths, the random pictures of the past obscure. Her body jerked as she sat upright on the sofa, the room now darkened from the night, a small lamp lit the room slightly. A slight tremor ran through her as she wrapped her arms around her midriff as she took in several deep breaths. A warm afghan draped over her shoulders as Leo’s strong arms wrapped around her. His lips warm as he brushed them against her cheeks, his thumb brushing away the moist tears she didn’t know she had.

  His voice was full of anger, concern, “Damn it, Elizabeth. You scared the hell out of me.”

  Elizabeth looked up in confusion, a sense of feeling out of place and time filled her as she looked around. “Why? What happened?”

  “What happened? What happened was Sara had a hell of a time getting you to come back to us.”

  Elizabeth jumped from the accusation in his voice; a flash of the past filled her head, her breath released in a gasp of fear as she found herself having difficulties separating the past from the present.

  “Leo. Stop.” Sara said, her voice firm, as her eye’s shot a stern look toward him, then softening as they turn to Elizabeth. “Elizabeth, take in some deep breaths.”

  The loss of the dream, and her past filled Elizabeth with deep despair. Looking up to Sara, a sense of panic consumed her when she was unable to take a deep breath. “I can’t.”

  “You can. Focus on your surroundings. Let Leo and I help you back from the past. You’re over the worst of it.”

  Nodding in understanding, Elizabeth let herself settle more securely in Leo’s arms. His arms enveloped her in a reassuring cocoon. After a few moments, she felt her heart calm, her eyes focused on Sara who sat calmly, reassuringly, in a large brown leather chair, her eyes gentle.

  Elizabeth took in several more deep breaths, before she pulled away from the comfort of Leo’s arms, reminding herself everything is not as it appears as she clears her throat, “Will the memories fade like before?”

  “This is a relatively new sort of therapy. But from what I have been able to observe, you should be able to retain the memory.” Sara’s legs crossed as she leaned forward, “But...it will be jumbled, so not everything can be taken at face value.”

  Elizabeth laughed at the absurdity of it all “Don’t worry. I don’t.”

  Sara’s voice professional, “Can you tell me about the dream?”

  Elizabeth nodded her head positively as she closed her eyes. “Yes, but not yet. I need to sort what I remember. Work it out somewhat in my own head before....” Her words stopped at the feel of Leo’s fingertips rubbing her back gently, the memory of earlier returning in a flash of thought as she pulled away from his touch. Finding herself censoring her thoughts, she tried to think of what she was going to reveal and what needed to be kept hidden. “Before I trust anyone else with what I know.” Feeling the weight of the last few hours, Elizabeth felt her eyes grow heavy. “If you don’t mind, I would appreciate a few minutes to close my eyes. I feel like I was hit by a truck and my head is starting to pound somewhat.”

  Smiling kindly, Sara uncrossed her legs as she stood up. “Of course. You must be exhausted. What you have just gone through is draining to say the least.” Looking over to Leo, “How about you give me a quick tour of this place like you promised me earlier.” Then turning back to Elizabeth smiling, “Elizabeth we can always continue once you have some rest.”

  “Yes. Thank you,” Elizabeth said, pointedly ignoring Leo.

  “Baby. Anything I can get you?” Leo asked, his voice full of concern, hesitant.

  Elizabeth’s shook her head negatively. Leo’s earlier transgression once more filled her with anger towards him. Leo nodded hesitantly, his mouth opened slightly as if he was about to say something further. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in a sarcastic manner as she absently waved him away, watching as his body tense at the gesture, a mixture of anger and sympathy filled his eyes.

  Elizabeth leaned back against the sofa, panic replaced her anger for a moment as she realized that her knowledge of Leo was limited, at best. The session had left her feeling insecure and vulnerable. A question of whom she could trust plagued her as the full impact of what she was discovering filled her with a sense of foreboding of what else she would uncover. Everywhere she turned seemed to bring forward even more betrayal and everything she knew just an illusion of half-truths.

  Chapter 28

  Elizabeth sat Indian style on the sofa contemplating what she had discovered during her regression session. The storm outside raged with an electric current, carrying an earthy scent from the pounding rain just beyond the window. The combination sizzled through Elizabeth with an excitement she found every time a storm struck, as she anticipated the next flash of lightening, counting the seconds between the flash that filled the night sky and the blast of sound that soon followed.

  Lily, that was her mother’s name. Elizabeth played the name over and over in her mind, letting it settle. It wasn’t the only name her mother had gone by, she knew this; there were many names over the years. Many names that seemed to float and drift through her mind, each bringing forward a new place, new people they had met over the years before Roger had entered it, only to destroy what little joy they had found. But none of the names affecting her as much as the last, the last name her mother ever carried-this she saw and knew. As the years started to melt away, her mind finally let her see what she had forgotten.

  A blast of thunder sounded beyond the window startling Elizabeth from her thoughts. Taking in a deep breath she wiped the tears that had fell softly, un
knowingly, down her cheeks. Reaching around herself she pulled the soft burgundy afghan more snugly around her shoulders, attempting to warm the chill that had settled around her. Leaning back more comfortably, she rested her head on the back of the sofa and sighed as she pulled her knees up hugging them to her chest beneath the afghan.

  Another flash of light reminded her of her childhood before her memory loss. She saw herself at about the age of seven swinging on a porch swing with a woman who she now knew as her mother before the accident. The wood swing was rough on the back of her bare legs, the air heavy with moisture as they watched dark clouds approach in the distance, a rumble distant and faint. The woman next to her was excited as she leaned over pulling her close to her warm body, her hands soft as they brushed back Elizabeth’s long hair tucking it neatly behind her ear. Her breath warm and sweet smelling as she whispered against her cheek, “Feel the power, baby, feel how it fills you leaving you breathless. There is no greater power than nature. Always remember that, my love, always remember that.”

  Elizabeth closed her eyes so she could see the memory more clearly, precisely, surprised by the clarity of the moment. They were happy days when her life was uncomplicated, full of laughter and innocence. Yes, innocence, her childhood kept ignorant of her mother’s private life, her desire for danger and excitement. Innocent that is, until they had met Roger, her mother’s secret desire for danger and adventure.

  Elizabeth shook the memory away, needing to remember the woman who had been her only sense of security in those days. She had loved her in her own way, even with all the upheavals she had put them through, she could always feel the love her mother had for her, protecting her from the seedier side of life. Back then she had been called Julia, she can’t recall any other name she may have gone by, but she knows there had been others. Maybe that was the reason she had so easily accepted Elizabeth as her name, having lived a life with so many alias. But that could be for another time to analyze. Right now, she just had to remember what she had forgotten for so many years and sort out the memories to find what Roger wanted from her. Because this much she was most certain about, the man that had been secretly stalking her, attempting to evoke the return of her memories was the same man that had swept her mother off her feet, promising them all they desired.

  He had also been the cause of her fairy tale life to be shattered under her mother’s swooning heart. It had been as if Roger had placed her mother under a spell, such as she had read in her fairytale books she so loved. But, not the fairytale that portrayed Roger as a prince who had come to rescue them from the life of deception that they had been living, but instead an evil prince that wove a spell over her mother that only she could see.

  It was all flashing back to her as she recalled days filled with visions of Roger’s smooth talking words, his devilish good looks and the effect they had on her mother. Back then, she had not seen it, she had been too young to be persuaded by these things, but now as an adult looking back, she could see why her mother had desired him. She had felt helpless in those days, as she begged her mother to leave him, that they didn’t need him.

  In her young eyes she had still believed that fairy tales could come true. Even when Roger had forced her to do things she felt were wrong, she dreamed of the day when her mother would wake from the spell the evil prince had put over her and take her away. Then when she had felt like this would never happen, her mother had awakened her in the middle of the night. begged her to be quiet as not to wake Roger and she was taking her away. Away from her nightmare, away to a life she had only dreamed about. Knowing her fairy tale was coming true, Elizabeth had imagined herself as a secret agent whose mission was over and she was going home.

  At first, life had been good. Her mother was her mother again, not a stranger passing in the night. Roger just a distant memory.

  Elizabeth took in a shaky breath, as she pulled herself back to the present. Her head turned to look out the window where she saw another flash of lighting light up the night, as it turned the night to day for a slit second. But, what she saw in that split second turned her stomach over as a scream froze in her throat, the face of her enemy flashed before her, taking away the pleasant vision, replacing it instead with the nightmare that lingered without end. The moment seemed to last an eternity as Elizabeth saw the small sly smile curve his lips, his eyes piercing, watching. Water ran like a river down his face.

  Her private little world came crashing down around her, as the walls seemed to expand and bow exposing her to the darkness as the day turned back to night. The glass that held back the storm now seemed fragile and non-significant, her heart raced at what was beyond her sight. The storm drew closer, becoming more violent as it grew.

  Determined to stop the madness, Elizabeth found herself running to the door, into the night. Stumbling backwards from the violent wind and rain that assaulted her, blinding her momentarily. A fury rose in her breast, as she stood defiantly against the elements, searching the blackness for the man that continued to taunt her.

  Her voice rose above the noise of the storm, “Show yourself, you spineless coward.” She yelled in fury.

  Her heart racing when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her, Elizabeth threw her body back to offset the strong arms, fighting against the restraint, her teeth clenched against each other as she fought, her legs kicking the air as she bucked backwards. A part of her knew it was Leo who held her back, yet she was unable to stop her fight against the unwanted confinement, her voice now hoarse as she yelled above the wind for Leo to let her go.

  A shock coursed through her when he finally did and Elizabeth stumbled forward from the sudden release. Her feet slid on the ground which had turned wet and soft from the downpour of rain.

  Unbalanced, Elizabeth started to fall back, reaching out with her hands to catch herself as she felt herself fall, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. Then the hard ground hard meeting her descent momentarily jarring the breath from her.

  Anger consumed her as she sat in the mud and grime with her clothes clinging to her, weighing her down. She looked up through the sheet of rain, up to Leo standing above her, his expression unreadable. Her breath coming out in harsh gasps from the struggle and the adrenaline rush that had filled her completely only a few minutes earlier. Elizabeth stared angrily at the open palm Leo was offering her, his betrayal earlier still fresh in her mind. She found herself building back the wall that had crumbled somewhat over the last week. A part of her knew it was irrational to blame Leo for what was happening to her, but she found it easier to turn away from his help at this moment as her greatest fear assaulted her.

  She turned a cold shoulder towards him as she lifted herself up from the wet ground, an attempt to be more dignified than she appeared filled her. She lifted her chin as she stepped around Leo, refusing to look him in the eyes; she walked over to Sara who stood in the doorway watching them. Elizabeth stepped out of the rain onto the porch, a muddy hand lifted to remove a wet strand of hair from her cheek, the movement lifting the wet material, sending a chill through her. Elizabeth felt her lips quiver slightly from the chill as her teeth knocked together painfully. Clearing her throat, “You going back to town now?”

  Sara’s eyes looked beyond Elizabeth’s shoulder as she answered, “Yes.”

  “Well, you think I could catch a ride with you?”

  “If that is what you want? I can…”

  “I do. Just give me a minute to clean up some.” Elizabeth said, in a matter of fact fashion, choosing not to answer the question that was reflecting in Sara’s eyes, then walking forward with her shoulders held back, willing herself not to turn to look at Leo.

  Her heart clenched when she heard Leo call her name right behind her. She could almost feel the heat radiating from him, the rainy musky smell. Her brain became fuzzy as she took in a deep breath, falling slightly forward on the doorknob, waiting. His voice deep, ricocheting through her h
ead, “I would ask Aurora about the man she has been seeing.”

  The question raised doubt in her already paranoid mind. Angry about the shielded comment, Elizabeth turned back her shoulder brushed against Leo chest. Pressing her back against the door as she looked up at him. “And what is that suppose too mean?” She hissed through her clenched teeth.

  “It means I think you should ask Aurora about who she is seeing,” Leo said his eyes unreadable.

  “That is all you are going to say about it? You bring up this shielded comment and expect me to just say ‘Oh, ok. Thank you, I think I’ll ask Aurora about her man,’” Elizabeth said sarcastically. “When it is obvious you know something you are not saying.” Turning in disgust, Elizabeth swung the door open feeling Leo’s eyes drill into her back, furious at him for placing one more question in her mind.

  Chapter 29

  When Roger had seen his prize sitting just beyond the window pane on a leather sofa, he was reminded once more of her mother and how strikingly familiar was the resemblance. Then, Elizabeth’s expression at the sight of him, confirmed it further for him as he had watched her emotions change from disbelief and terror to a look of fury.

  He had quickly stepped back into the trees along the lake to keep an eye on the object of his desire. Her emotions warmed him, knowing that she was her mothers’ daughter after all. Lily had the same fire that he was seeing in Elizabeth and giving him the challenge he had been hoping for.

  His thoughts went to the first time he had seen her mother in action. She had been dressed elegantly in a simple black cocktail dress, her con simple, elementary actually, the man lost within her web of sweet seduction. The thought quickly faded when he saw Elizabeth run out of the house, thrown back by the elements before regaining her footing, as she raised her fist at the world. Yelling for him to show himself to her, Leo followed close behind, a look of concern on his face as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to get her back into the house.