by David Rees
APPENDIX:
WINES THAT TASTE LIKE PENCILS
Some readers, having consumed this text, and finding their love and fascination for pencils inflamed to a feverish intensity thereby, may now be surprised by their desire to literally consume a pencil. The impulse is understandable.
However, as it is not recommended to eat pencils—or their shavings—we must search for proxies.
One strategy is to seek out wines that taste like pencils. The complexities and subtleties of fine wine make it the ideal vehicle for instantiating the complexities and subtleties of a #2 pencil. Many happy evenings can be spent in pursuit of the perfect “liquid pencil.” Below are a few suggestions for beginning (or appending) your cellar.
A NOTE ABOUT TECHNIQUE: Pencil shavings were collected in an odorless container and presented to a wine-store owner and culinary institute graduate, who smelled them and opened bottles of wine with similar bouquets.
Château Saint Julian 2006 Bordeaux Supérieur AC
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “I’m getting a stoniness here, it’s not sweet. There’s a mineral core to the flavor, which is due to the vintner’s hands-off approach—they’re not over-cropping or reducing their grape output, which would have led to more concentrated fruitfulness and less concentrated pencilfulness.” PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Yeah.”
Château Greysac 2007 Médoc AC
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “This wine is from Bordeaux, like the Château Saint Julian (above); it’s smoother, though, with less graphite bite. I think the ‘pencil smell’ we’re going for has more to do with the graphite and clay in the pencil point than the cedar in the pencil shaft. That makes sense because a lot of these wines are grown in stony regions with heavy clay deposits.” PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Goddamn this tastes good!”
Domaine du Deffends 1992 “Clos de la Truffière” Coteaux Varois AC
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “This is a blend of syrah and cabernet sauvignon. There’s a hint of graphite underneath the mushroom (which is so big and explosive on the nose), but this tastes more of cedar. I’m not surprised; as wines age, their edges are polished away and their cedar-y qualities are accentuated.” PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “It was really nice of you to open this old bottle of wine from 1992. I appreciate it.” WINE EXPERT’S COMENTS: “No problem.”
Antonio Vallana 2008 Spanna Colline Novaresi DOC
PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “The bouquet is very graphite-y, but the actual wine tastes very grape-y and yeasty.” WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “If you want to taste pencil, go with a dryer wine.”
Marc Ollivier 2010 “La Pépie” Cabernet Franc Vin de Pays du Val de Loire
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Mineral-y, red cherry with a hint of graphite—chalky and refreshing. A nice essence of pencil in this bottle.”
PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Yeah, I smell the chalkiness which reminds me of pencil shavings. Also the label is funny—it has a drunk chicken on it. Although I cannot endorse intoxication while sharpening pencils, I recognize it may be an accidental byproduct of tasting pencil-wines and also I feel like the chicken and me are friends.”
Marc Plouzeau 2009 “Rive Gauche” Chinon AC
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Initially this wine is very sulphury. As it aerates, though, we lose the pencil shavings on the nose.”
PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “What does ‘aerate’ mean?” WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “See how I’m swirling my glass? I’m introducing air into the wine.”
PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “I love how much you know about wine.”
Caves São João 2007 “Porta dos Cavaleiros” Dão DOC
WINE EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “Touriga nacional is another grape that frequently offers that sense of graphite and chalkiness that you get in a pencil. This is a Portuguese red, and they’re a good bet for pencil flavors—especially those with the touriga nacional grape.”
PENCIL EXPERT’S COMMENTS: “This tastes like pencil shavings! And it’s cheap. This is my go- to wine from now on.”
General advice from a wine expert regarding pencil-tasting wines: “A wine is always going to smell more like a pencil than taste like a pencil. That’s just the way it is. Having said that, look for French reds from the southwest part of the country, particularly Bordeaux. Avoid white wines, because they almost never taste like pencils. As a bottle of wine ages, its edges are softened, and more interesting aromatics—secondary characteristics—emerge, and that’s a good place to look for those pencil-shaving flavors. So buy older wines if you can. Ask for bottles from more traditional producers, because they tend to use larger, older barrels—which have more of the natural, cedar-y quality that is so beloved in a freshly sharpened pencil. (Bursts into laughter.)”
APPENDIX:
RECOMMENDED WEB RESOURCES
www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com
Your author’s web site.
www.bleistift.memm.de
“Any old pencil won’t do”
A British web site featuring reviews of pencils and writing products that may not be readily available to the American consumer. Well designed and informative.
www.branfordhouseantiques.com
“A Historic 1850s Farmhouse on a Scenic Vermont Dairy Farm” One of the few antique stores specializing in vintage pencil sharpeners. The web site offers clear photographs from multiple angles and historical information. (The owners provided the vintage devices in this book. A trip to their store is highly recommended.)
www.fieldnotesbrand.com
“I’m not writing it down to remember it later,
I’m writing it down to remember it now.”
High-quality, American-made notepads, pencils, and other writing ephemera. Co-proprietor Aaron Draplin is a great raconteur and lover of pencils.
fredspencils.wordpress.com
“I have been a glutton for pencils, that’s for sure.
With this blog, I pause to burp.”
Astonishing collection of vintage pencils collected over the course of 30 years. Large color photographs paired with informed commentary. When this site launched in 2011, it blew the online pencil community’s mind.
matthewjamestaylor.com/blog/the-art-of-sharpening-pencils
This artist and designer’s web site has a legendary page on different pencil-sharpening techniques.
www.officemuseum.com/pencil_sharpeners.htm
Wonderful catalog of antique pencil sharpeners, including photographs and production information. Many profitable hours can be spent ogling these devices.
pencilreviewer.blogspot.com
“An independent guy who loves pencils, writing about them, reviewing them, promoting the use of them, sharpening them … He loves the smell of them, the feel of sharpening and using a vintage pencil … You get the idea.”
Exhaustive reviews of pencils and erasers.
www.pencilrevolution.com
“Pencil Philosophy: Wooden Wisdom,
Product Reviews & Ephemera, etc.”
One of the web’s most popular pencil sites featuring interviews, vintage advertisements, and reviews.
www.penciltalk.org
“exploring the art and science of pencils since 2005”
Product reviews and industry news; home to some of the web’s liveliest pencil-related discussions. Probably the best pencil web site in the English-speaking world.
www.woodclinched.com
“For the love of pencils”
General-interest pencil blog maintained by a former employee of the California Cedar Products Company (who, in turn, publish www.pencils.com).
APPENDIX:
PILGRIMAGE SITES FOR THE PENCIL ENTHUSIAST: A CHECKLIST
The Cumberland Pencil Museum
Southey Works
Keswick, Cumbria
CA12 5NG
United Kingdom
Located only ten miles from the site of the Borrowdale graphite deposit, this is perhaps the most important pencil museum in the world.
&
nbsp; The Paul A. Johnson Pencil Sharpener Museum
Hocking Hills Regional Welcome Center
13178 State Route 664 South
Logan, OH 43138
Paul Johnson collected thousands of pencil sharpeners during his lifetime. He also built a custom shed to house them. After his death, the collection was moved to the Hocking Hills Welcome Center. If you are reading this book, and you live near Columbus, and you have not visited this museum, spare a moment to consider the unfortunate direction your life has taken. Then take your car keys in hand.
“Pencil City, U.S.A.”
35°29’20"N 86°27’8"W
Shelbyville, Tennessee (population: 20,3351) has been in the pencil business since World War I, thanks to the region’s former abundance of juniper (“red cedar”). Although the glory days of American pencil production now languish in the past, Shelbyville can still pride itself on being home to the Musgrave Pencil Company, one of the few producers of #2s left in the United States.
Grey Culbreth Junior High School
225 Culbreth Road
Chapel Hill, NC 27516
My strongest memories of using a wall-mounted sharpener date from my 7th grade pre-algebra class. I used the device constantly. My teacher delighted in my comings and goings, sparing no opportunity to remark on my preternatural sensitivity to pencil points. I thought we had established an ideal relationship until he called my mother in for a meeting in which I was reprimanded for sharpening my pencils too frequently! I remember flushing with bewilderment as he insisted the reason I constantly sharpened my pencil was because I enjoyed disrupting the class, monopolizing everyone’s attention with my pilgrimages—not to mention the amusing and pleasant comments I made while traveling to and fro. I was (and remain) skeptical of my teacher’s theory; I can only speak to the satisfaction I felt every time I returned to my seat with the sharpest pencil in the room—a pencil which could sometimes maintain its point for five minutes before needing to be re-tooled by the device inconveniently located in the corner of the room farthest from my desk.2
Eberhard Faber Pencil Company Historic District
47 – 61 Greenpoint Avenue (and surrounding area) Brooklyn, NY 11222
The former site of one of Brooklyn’s most important pencil factories, this suite of buildings in the post-industrial playland of Greenpoint is notable for its massive terra-cotta pencil reliefs. No other structure in New York boasts such handsome facades; indeed, “pencil fever” still happily afflicts many of the neighborhood’s residents—some of whose relatives worked at the factory until it closed in 1956. The tumultuous family history of the Eberhard Faber company (now Faber-Castell AG), as well as its centuries-old rivalry with German rival Staedtler Mars GmbH, is more thrilling than any spy novel. For some.
Fancy Pencil Land
801 Civic Center Dr #142
Niles, IL 60714
No artisanal pencil sharpener’s life is complete until he or she can say, “I have been to Fancy Pencil Land.” Fancy Pencil Land is nestled in a Korean shopping mall outside Chicago. It specializes in Asian school supplies. (I bought the pig sharpener used in Chapter 14 during a visit to Fancy Pencil Land.) Many stores specialize in Asian school supplies; only one has the greatest name of any business in human history.
1 2010 Census data
2 If this book serves any purpose, let it be as the definitive counter-argument to my teacher’s conspiracy theories: Mr. Stewart, it was always about the pencil point.
APPENDIX:
HELPFUL ADVICE FROM THE (ST. PETERSBURG) FLORIDA EYE CENTER’S WEB SITE, REPRINTED IN ITS ENTIRETY
If an object, such as a stick or a pencil, gets stuck in your eye, do not pull it out. Put a loose bandage on your eye. This is very serious. You need to go to the doctor right away.
THANKS TO:
Margaret and Philip Rees, for their support; Mike Houston, for the posters; Meredith Heuer, for the photos; Chris Minney, for the web site; Melville House, for the book; Christopher King, for the design; John Hodgman, for the foreword; Kassie Evashevski, for the contract; John Kearney, for the consultations and antique-sharpener photos; Melissa Flashman, for her encouragement; Daniel London, for his apprenticeship; Aaron Gray & Liz Tomasetti, for the records; Emily Dougherty & Sean McDonald, for the movies; Sam Anderson & Sarah Uzelac, for the food; Tim Buzinski & Mei Ying So, for the wine; Jonathan Coulton, for the cruise; Eric Stephan, for the waterfall photos; Branford House Antiques, for the vintage pencil sharpeners; Sophie Schulte-Hillen, for the El Casco; Sarah Lariviere, for her patience; James Philip Rees, for eating kale
Ralph Newstead, author of “Audels Shipfitter’s Handy Book: A Practical Treatise on Steel Ship Building and Repairing for Loftsmen, Welders, Riveters, Anglesmiths, Flange Turners and All Ship Mechanics With Illustrations Showing Current Practice,” for the inspiration
The City of Beacon, NY, for its empty high school
The United States Census Bureau, for the job.