Taking Control

by Danielle Dickson

  “Mr. Haynes is available if you can make it here in the next half an hour.”

  I was hoping for a phone call to suffice, but this will do. “That’s perfect, thank you so much for your help.”

  “You’re welcome, have a great day.”

  Blowing out a breath, I walk over to my boss’s office again. I ready my hand to knock and then drop it. This is my client, I should be able to leave and attend a meeting, right?

  But then again, I don’t want to ruffle his feathers anymore than they’re already ruffled.

  I sigh and knock on the door before I can change my mind. “Sir?” He looks up at me with an agitated expression, but I power through, ignoring it. “I have the opportunity to go over the design with Mr. Reed’s partner. Can I take off?”

  “You want to leave work…” He looks at his watch. “Two hours early?”

  “Yes… well… no. It’s still work, I just need to leave to meet with Mr…” Damn, why can’t I remember his partner’s name! “Mr. Reed’s partner. I’ve finished all my tasks for today and I can ask Stephanie to come sit in for me?”

  He scrutinizes me, playing with his top lip before shooing me with the same hand. “Go.” I’m about to turn and walk out when he adds, “Nine a.m., Taylor.”

  I cringe. “Yes, sir.”

  Zander

  I sip at the water in front of me, the coolness of the liquid wetting my parched throat.

  “You look like shit, little brother.”

  Looking up, I smile at the woman standing on the opposite side of the table from me. Her eyes twinkle and her dark hair shines under the lights. I finally got the balls to call my sister, Kinsey would’ve kicked my ass if I didn’t. “Can’t say the same about you, Em. You look incredible.” I stand and envelop her in a warm hug, my back stiffening as her bulging belly presses into me. “I can hardly get my arms around you now. Are you giving birth to a football team?”

  She playfully slaps my arm before rubbing her belly in a motherly way. “Feels like it these days. Three weeks and they’re getting evicted.”

  A genuine smile lifts my mouth. I’m so happy for her and her husband, they’ve both been trying to have kids for years. “I bet you can’t wait to meet them.”

  I pull out her chair for her and she lowers herself into it carefully. “We’re both so excited. Of course you’d know that if you called me once in a while.” She rubs her belly again. “I’m starving.”

  Taking a seat, I hand her a menu, watching as she reads it with her brows drawn down into a frown. “Have anything you want, this is on me.”

  “Thanks.” A waiter takes our order and as soon as he leaves, Emma sets her sights on me, the smile fading from her face. “What’s up?”

  Fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers, I shrug. “Nothing’s up.”

  “I haven’t had a call from you in four months then out of the blue you call and ask if I’m free?”

  I roll my eyes. “Can’t a brother want to see his sister?”

  “No. That isn’t you.” She puts her hand over mine that’s straightening the vase in the middle of the table. “Zander, look at me.”

  I do and she scans my face, trying to read me like she did the menu. When she doesn’t find what she’s supposedly looking for, she looks down at my hand. “New tattoo?”

  Pulling my hand away, I rest it on my thigh so she can’t scrutinize it anymore. “How’s Jack?”

  “Okay, I’ll play along.” She sips at her own water, her brows pulling down into a frown. “He was laid off again.”

  My belly tightens at her admission. I like her husband, but he works for a shitty sector. “How long ago?”

  She shrugs like it’s not a big deal when in fact it’s a very big deal. “Two months maybe.”

  Two months! “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I haven’t spoken to you since it happened funnily enough. We have to be in contact to have a relationship.”

  I look away from her. I’m a shitty brother. “You know you could’ve called me anytime.”

  She places her knife and fork down, her food forgotten. “No, I couldn’t, you would’ve tried to help.”

  “Damn right I would. Why is that such a bad thing?”

  She sighs before picking up her knife and fork again. “Jack has too much pride, you know that.”

  “He’d rather his family went without?”

  She scoffs. “Money’s tight, but we’re not without.”

  My gaze darts to her belly. “And how are you going to support two babies, an eighteen-year-old, and yourselves when they come?”

  Her face flushes pink and I feel guilty for grilling her, but all I want is for her to live comfortably and not have to worry about stupid things like money when I have a shit load sitting in my account doing nothing.

  “Zander, you’re my little brother, you shouldn’t be worrying about me. I’m supposed to take care of you.” Her face turns pained. “I want to take care of you.”

  I put up a hand to stop where I know her thoughts are going. “Don’t. I’m a grown-ass man. I’m fine.” I lean back in my chair as the waiter takes away our empty plates, avoiding eye contact with me.

  “Are you though?” she asks when the waiter is out of earshot.

  “I said I’m fine.”

  My sister is four years older than me and was out of the house before I turned twelve. She blames herself for leaving me with my mom for what I went through, but I have no one to blame but myself. She needs to cut herself some slack.

  Besides, she doesn’t even know the half of what I went through or did, but she knows enough to keep checking up on me.

  We didn’t get back in touch until six years ago. I learned that she left at sixteen because she’d gotten knocked up by a total loser, but one good thing came out of it; my niece, Kinsey.

  “I’d be better if you let me take the pressure off you a bit more though.”

  “Stop making me feel like I can’t provide for my children.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying at all and you know it. I have way more money than I’ll ever need or want, so please let me help you.”

  She shakes her head. “I can’t. Jack still doesn’t know about you paying for Kinsey’s college tuition, he’d be so upset with me that I told you about his work struggles. Plus, he’s already mad at you for buying her that car.”

  The wheels start turning in my head. “What if I hired him? I have a new gym we’re planning on opening on the other side of the city.”

  She shakes her head. “He has no experience in corporate or fitness, you know that as well as I do.” She pauses and watches me with a wary gaze. “The other side? As in…”

  My jaw grinds together but I nod stiffly to her unanswered question knowing she’s asking about the area we grew up in, but I’m not willing to talk to her about it right now. “The building we’ve bought needs a lot of work. I want the best guys on it to have it up and running as soon as possible. Could you mention to Jack we’re struggling on finding the manpower?”

  She’s deep in thought as she studies my face. “Don’t you have people to do the hiring for you?”

  “This project is important to me, I’m overseeing a lot of the groundwork.”

  Our mains arrive and she doesn’t speak again until she’s had a few mouthfuls. “I’ll talk to him, but I’m not promising anything.”

  “The offer’s there anyway.”

  She gives me a grateful smile and with a hand over her pregnant belly, she moans, “Oh my God, I’ve never been so full.”

  I chuckle softly but something catches my eye and I turn toward a dark-haired woman being seated across the room, a guy sitting opposite her. My heart seizes before letting go when I realize the woman isn’t Taylor. I need to get a grip.

  “Know her?”

  Remembering my nosey sister, I answer her but don’t look away from the woman until I’ve seen her face properly, making sure it definitely isn’t the woman I want to see. “No, just look
s like someone I know.”

  “Someone you know?” The teasing lilt of her voice has me turning around and shrugging. “Does this ‘someone’ know you’re looking around for them like a lost puppy?”

  “Probably not. She wouldn’t care anyway.”

  “Doesn’t like you back?”

  I roll my eyes at her brashness, but I’m used to it. Emma has never been one to hold back what she’s thinking. “Doesn’t like who I am more like.”

  She furrows her brow. “How can she not like… what did you do?” I distract myself by folding up a cloth napkin, ignoring her question until she snaps, “Zander, what did you do?”

  “I told her I was an addict and she walked away. Happy now?” She looks around us, offering placating smiles to everyone watching us with wary gazes. I sigh and scrub my hands down my face. “I’m sorry, it’s a touchy subject.”

  When she looks back at me, she has a scowl on her face. “I was only asking a question. You obviously called me here today for a reason. Is she it?”

  My jaw ticks from how tightly it’s wound as I think back to snapping at Taylor, telling her to get out of my house. I cringe when I think back to the moments beforehand. She wasn’t cowering away, she wasn’t running, she was only trying to understand. But the sympathetic look in her eyes was enough to send me reeling. “I fucked up.”

  “How?” She brushes the waiter off when he comes and asks us if we want dessert.

  “What, no dessert?”

  She shakes her head. “Couldn’t eat another bite, but stop avoiding my questions. If you called me because you needed to talk, talk.”

  “I’ve never felt anything like it, Em.” The look on Taylor’s face as she stared into my eyes that first night flashes into my mind and I look down at my hands. “I’ve not know her for long but… fuck! When we’re together there’s a connection between us I can’t ignore. When I touch her, everything is silent. The noise; the headaches? They’re gone.” I look up into her eyes. “I’ve never felt more out of control and at peace at the same time.”

  Emma’s eyes glaze over and she picks up her napkin, blotting at them. “You really know that after a short amount of time?”

  “I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. She bumped into me and I barely had enough time to catch her before she fell on her ass.” I chuckle at the memory. “She was in a rush to go someplace and suddenly I wasn’t anymore. I was only supposed to be at the party I met her at for an hour to show face, but instead I canceled my plans and stayed the whole night, not able to take my eyes off her.”

  “You changed your plans?” she asks incredulously.

  “I did. And you know what? There wasn’t one instance where I felt out of control. It was like she kept me centered.” I let out a shaky breath, not quite believing I’m divulging this much information.

  “You have to go after this girl.”

  I shake my head. “I wish it was as simple as that. I can’t change her mind once it’s already made up.”

  “And who said it was already made up?” she counters.

  “I…” She has me stumped there. “I haven’t spoken to her since.”

  She slaps her forehead softly with the palm of her hand. “You’re an idiot. Why haven’t you called her?”

  “It’s not as simple as that.”

  “The hell it isn’t. You get your butt out of this restaurant and go find her. Put your pride and your ego to the side and let this girl love you the way you deserve.”

  The wheels turn in my head, self doubt and past occurrences clouding my judgment. “I told you, she doesn’t like me.” I sign the bill the waiter brings over, throwing some money down for a tip.

  “You just described this girl like she’s the air you breathe. Isn’t that worth finding out if there’s something there?”

  I shake my head and push my chair back. She stands up as I do up my jacket. “I have work to get back to. I’m already behind.”

  I start walking toward the doors of the restaurant, holding it open for her. She looks me square in the eyes as she walks past. “Stop running.”

  I do an overexaggerated slow walk. “Better?”

  She snorts and links her arm through mine as we walk toward the car park a block away. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  Sighing, I take in a lungful of crisp January air, my gaze landing on a couple laughing with each other walking hand in hand toward us. I avert my gaze, feeling like I’m intruding on a private moment. “I can’t do it.”

  She halts and I jolt as I try to take another step. For a pregnant woman, she sure is strong. “Sure you can. Walk up to her and tell her exactly what you’ve told me.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” A niggling pain is starting to form behind my eyes but I ignore it. “I can’t be normal. I can’t do normal.”

  I know she’s containing an eye roll as she says, “Who’s normal? If you put everything out there and she doesn’t return any of it, then you’ve lost nothing.” Apart from my dignity and the sexiest woman on the fucking planet. “But if she feels the same way? You’ve gained everything.”

  We start walking again and I go back to my earlier point. “A woman like her deserves a normal relationship. She doesn’t deserve my fucked-up routine.”

  We reach the car park and I walk her to her car. “You’re right.” I blanch at her statement. “She doesn’t deserve your fucked-up routine.” She pauses as she digs her keys out of her purse before looking into my eyes. “So fucking talk to her, do something out of the ordinary and believe in someone other than yourself for once.”

  Mouth wide open, I stare at her. “Did you just say two ‘fucks’ in one sentence?”

  She smirks, looking proud of herself. “I did.”

  Emma doesn’t swear… ever.

  I chuckle. “Well, hell has frozen over.”

  Opening her car door, she turns to me and throws her arms around my waist. “This girl is good for you, I can feel it. Please don’t pass up this opportunity.”

  Determination fills my lungs and I breathe out all the trepidation I’ve been feeling. “Okay.”

  She pulls back. “Okay?”

  Nodding slowly, she pulls me in for another hug and taps her purse. “You call me more from now on. We need each other.” She slides into the driver's seat as I promise I will and close the door behind her.

  “Drive safe,” I mouth.

  She smiles and mouths, “Love you,” which chokes me up as she drives off.

  As I make my way to my car, I know I have to make good on both my promises starting with Taylor.

  It’s time to man up.

  15

  Taylor

  I anxiously chew on the skin around my thumb as I wait to see Zander’s partner. It’s a bad habit I’ve been trying to break for years. I once stopped for three months—yay me—but I really go to town on it when I’m nervous.

  I made it here in under half an hour like his assistant told me, but I’ve been sitting here for another half hour more. If they try to blow me off, I’ll be pissed. I need to get this information so I can go back and start working on my presentation for my boss. I know if I don’t pull this off, my ass is definitely fired.

  “Ms. Moore?”

  Finally! I’ve been waiting so long I don’t correct her that it’s just miss. “That’s me.”

  I stand and smile at the peppy-looking woman in front of me. “Mr. Haynes is ready to see you now.”

  The niggling feeling I’ve had since speaking on the phone with her colleague is back at the mention of that name. Why is it so goddamn familiar to me?

  She leads me into a hallway lined with photos and I nearly throw up at the one closest to where she points to “Mr. Haynes’s office.”

  In the photo is a handsome—but stern—looking Zander, but it’s the person standing beside him I focus in on. Mr. Haynes is Kai! Of course, how could I not put that together? I’m such a fucking idiot.

  They’re standing outside a small gym, both we
aring sweatpants and boxing gloves on their hands. I—

  “Ms. Moore?” I startle at the voice. “This way.”

  I walk within inches of his door and the panic in me rises. He’s going to freak when he finds out his next meeting is with me.

  She knocks loudly three times and someone clears their throat, saying, “Come in.”

  She opens the door and announces me, but I’m too busy taking in his flustered demeanor to remember the panic I had just moments ago.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” the secretary says, her eyes narrowing at the tension on both of our faces before shutting the door behind us.

  Kai clears his throat, standing and straightening his suit jacket before walking toward me and… shaking my hand? Okay, I guess we’re forgetting I’ve slept with him and pissed him off. “I erm… I can go.” I point to the door.

  His gaze meets mine and he offers me a small smile, if not a forced-looking one. “Have a seat.”

  Doing a double take, I finally relent and sit down in the seat he points at, watching as he sits opposite me, crossing his ankle over his knee. “Do you mind if I take my laptop out? I’m faster at typing than I am at writing.”

  An awkward chuckle escapes my lips and he sighs. “Taylor?”

  “Mmmhmmm?” I busy myself with taking out my laptop and booting it up.

  I startle as he touches my hand, not realizing he even left his chair. He kneels as I look up at him, our gazes locking. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other night.”

  “That’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. You were only looking out for me.”

  He lets go of my hand with a guilty expression. “No, I do. You and Zander were together, and I ruined it. I guess I just…” His expression turns pained. “Never mind.”

  “I… we’re not together,” I quickly tell him, but I don’t know why because every fiber of my being is screaming, “But you want to be!”

  He frowns. “I’m really sorry, Taylor. I’ve fucked everything up.”

  I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not really your fault anyway. Things got real after you left and he kicked me out of his house. So that’s that.”