Dare to Rock

by Carly Phillips

  He removed her hand from where she’d been stroking his cheek. “I’m doing my best to be a gentleman.” And he had a painful case of blue balls to show for it.

  “That’s sweet but unnecessary,” she all but purred.

  He pulled her wrist to his mouth and licked her hammering pulse.

  She sucked in a shallow breath, trembling at his touch.

  “A little while ago, you were still unsure of me and my life. I’m not going to screw up a second chance by fucking you tonight and dealing with your regrets in the morning.” Nobody would believe Grey Kingston was turning down sex.

  “I won’t have regrets,” she whispered, but he could tell she wasn’t as sure as she sounded.

  “You might.”

  She opened her mouth to dispute his words and sighed. “You’re probably right.”

  Her words hurt even if he’d already suspected as much.

  “So what do you suggest?” she finally asked.

  He blew out a long, frustrated stream of air and pulled himself together. “More get-to-know-you dates. More making out—but not tonight, on this bed, when you’re wearing nothing but my shirt and barely there panties I want to rip off with my teeth.”

  “Oh my God.” She visibly shook at his pronouncement, her nipples hardening beneath the faded tee shirt.

  “Yep. Now you understand.” He swung his legs over the bed and rose to his feet. “Let’s see if the rain’s let up.”

  “Good idea,” she said in a trembling voice.

  He walked out of the room and climbed up top, relieved to find the rain had slowed to a drizzle.

  “We can head back to the car,” he said as he returned.

  “Good.” She held her wet dress in one hand.

  He left his jeans and shirt on board. He’d pick them up tomorrow. “What are you doing next Thursday?” he asked, unwilling to take her home without making plans to see her again.

  “During the day I volunteer at the Miami Children’s Hospital with cancer patients.”

  He turned to her and stared.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You amaze me, that’s all.”

  Grey hadn’t known Avery when she’d donated bone marrow. He’d entered her life in high school. But she’d confided in him just how difficult that year and those afterwards had been, both the revelation that her father had another family he spent more time with than hers and the fact that he’d needed one of her full siblings to donate in order to save one of his other kids. Avery had been the best match, leaving her feeling used and hurt. Yet here she was, years later, donating her free time to help other children who were in her half sister’s position.

  God, she was something else.

  “It’s nothing huge,” she said, deflecting. “I bring my iPad and makeup. I look through online magazines and sites with the girls and teach them how to feel better about themselves while they’re going through treatment.”

  “That’s cool. It really is.”

  She smiled at him, and it fucking lit him up inside. “How about afterwards? Want to meet Rep and Lola? They invited me over, and I know they’d love to meet you too. No groupies,” he promised her before she could find that as a reason to say no. “Just some good friends hanging out.”

  “Okay.”

  He blinked. “Just like that?”

  She studied him for a long while. “Just like that.”

  * * *

  Avery spent Sunday doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, food shopping with Ella, and trying not to think about her feelings for Grey. She wanted distance from his hands on her body, his lips on hers before she could put things in perspective. And since Ella had so much to tell her about her job and the dinner with an up-and-coming designer, Avery managed not to daydream. Too much.

  Of course Ella wanted details about Avery’s weekend, and she had to fill those in too. Still, she survived Sunday, and she woke up Monday knowing she had a full day’s worth of things to do to keep her busy. Before she could leave the apartment, she had to check her blog and answer messages. Another way to keep her mind off of Grey Kingston.

  Except today’s blog extolled the virtues of her favorite Nars blush, and wouldn’t you know, it was called Orgasm. The well-known product had held a place on most Best Of lists in major magazines since the mid-2000s and was a cult classic worth mentioning yearly. But today, it merely served to remind her that she had spent the night alone on a yacht with her gorgeous ex, and she hadn’t had one.

  Nope, not an orgasm to be found for Avery because Grey had decided to play things safe. At this point, Avery believed she might be thinking more clearly today if he hadn’t held back. If he’d let them both give in to the simmering sexual desire that was so obviously between them. But he hadn’t. And she admired his restraint.

  It also scared her because she’d been wearing nothing but his shirt and barely there panties that he, quote, wanted to rip off with his teeth. Her entire body trembled at the memory of his words. Her sex clenched, empty and needy. If he’d been able to walk away from that desire, he had a wholly different agenda … and she didn’t know if she’d survive whatever it was.

  He wasn’t the easygoing Grey she remembered. He was more dominant in his speech, more frank about what he wanted. And that kiss? He’d controlled it and her, until she’d have done anything just to get more of him. But as much as she wanted him, as much as they had in common, she still believed there were too many differences to overcome.

  She had a half a week before she had to worry about dealing with him again, and so she settled in front of the computer to work. On Orgasms.

  She answered some reader questions, going back over the weekend’s posts before turning to today’s blog. She pulled up the comments and began to read, startled and annoyed to find troll comments under a variety of different screen names. Words like skank and whore greeted her, and she immediately deleted them, hoping she’d discovered them before too many viewers had seen them too.

  She didn’t let them get to her. The Internet was full of mean-spirited people who took pleasure in bashing people under the guise of anonymity. She put the insults out of her mind and focused on discussing why the shimmery peach-colored blush worked on so many different skin tones, as well as answering the typical jokes about the product’s name in good humor.

  Before she signed off for the morning, she refreshed the screen one more time to see if she had anything else to answer. The troll comments had returned, coming in heavier than before, this time adding names she wouldn’t repeat out loud alone, never mind in public.

  So bizarre. And annoying.

  She groaned and called her web people, knowing she needed to have them lock things down before the ugliness spread. They had to shut down comments for the day. And the whole mess took up the better part of her morning, forcing her to reschedule a nail appointment with a new salon she had hoped to feature in one of her local postings. Finally, she finished with the web hosting company and hung up the phone, praying they’d fix the site before the end of the day.

  She headed over to an outdoor café for lunch, to meet her sister, Olivia, her sister-in-law, Riley, and her soon-to-be sister-in-law, Meg. When she arrived, the others were already at a table beneath a large umbrella.

  “I’m so sorry I’m late!” Avery said, pausing to give each woman a hug and a kiss before settling into the empty seat between Riley and Olivia.

  “Relax,” Olivia said. “We are. It’s fine. Nobody has to rush back to work.”

  “Yep, summer for a teacher means time off,” Meg, a pretty and very pregnant brunette, said with a relieved smile.

  “I’ve been working less and less hours,” Riley admitted. “I really love being home with Rainey.” She shrugged at the admission.

  Avery grinned. “Your little girl is a handful.”

  Her sister-in-law pulled her long curls behind her and laughed. “Blame your brother for that part of her personality.”

  “And you?” Avery glanced at Oliv
ia. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

  “I can take time to be with my favorite people if I want.” She patted her large belly. “It’s amazing how the men in the office will tiptoe around a deliberately whiny pregnant woman and give in to anything she asks for.” Olivia grinned.

  “You have no shame,” Avery muttered.

  “Nope.”

  “Can I get you a drink?” a waiter asked Avery.

  She glanced around the table. The girls already had their beverages. “I’ll have an iced tea, please.”

  “So how was everyone’s weekend?” Olivia asked.

  They went around the table, taking turns with their stories. Avery was grateful for the time to get her head on straight and decide what, if anything, she’d tell the women closest to her about Grey. After so many years of wondering about him and missing him, actually being with him this past Saturday night had been surreal.

  Her emotions had fluctuated all evening. She’d been wary at first, withdrawn during the influx of fans, then once they were truly alone, all her old feelings for him had swamped her full force. They meshed on a level she’d never experienced with anyone else. He understood the girl she was deep down inside, respecting what he knew of her insecurities. Any other guy would have responded to her blatant sexual overtures and taken advantage of the obvious chemistry and desire pulsing between them.

  Not Grey. He wouldn’t let proximity and need dictate his actions. Instead of making use of the bed, instead of taking their kisses to the next level, instead of peeling off the tee shirt he’d lent her and sinking deep inside her willing body, he’d called a halt. Because he knew, even if she’d been well past caring, that if they’d had sex, she’d regret it the next day.

  And she would have. Of course she regretted not sleeping with him too, but that was her needy body talking. She’d returned home from the boat on edge, her panties damp, her nipples hard and aching, wishing he’d at least taken the edge off with a nice climax. But instead, her rocker had played the good guy. And she hadn’t been able to use her vibrator to slake her need, because she’d known it wouldn’t have been as good as the real thing.

  “Avery Dare, where the heck are you?” Riley asked, waving a hand in front of her face and bringing her back to the present.

  “You’re flushed,” Meg noted with a grin.

  “We live in Miami and it’s hot out,” Avery muttered, grasping for an excuse.

  “No, that’s not a weather flush. It’s a guy blush,” Riley said, eyeing her with curiosity.

  Olivia pursed her lips. “You’ve been in your own head ever since the concert with Grey, and I’ve let you stew because you seemed to need time. But you seem lighter now … and I want answers.” Her sister nailed her with a determined expression that had Avery shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to discuss things in public,” the ever-diplomatic Meg said, taking a sip of her iced tea.

  Avery realized her drink had been put down, and she took a long sip of the cool, sweet liquid. Olivia was right. She’d been sad and grumpy after her run-in with Grey and his groupie at the concert, and she hadn’t let her sister in. She didn’t want to hurt Meg’s or Riley’s feelings by blocking them out now, even if discussing her love life wasn’t something she did easily.

  “I saw Grey this past weekend,” she admitted, then sat back and let the comments fly.

  “I can’t believe you and Grey Kingston. Damn, girl, he’s hot.” Meg fanned herself with her hand.

  Riley’s smile started slow and built until she was grinning. “It’s about time.”

  And then there was Olivia. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

  Guilt slid through Avery, and she grasped her sister’s hand. “I’m sorry. It’s just that after the concert—”

  “I don’t know what happened after,” Olivia reminded her.

  Avery sighed. “Nobody does.” Except Ella, but Avery wouldn’t dig the wound deeper by saying so. “I went backstage, and there was a female wrapped around him. A half-dressed groupie with teased hair and too much makeup, clinging to him like a Howler monkey. And yes, he pushed her off him, but then she began shrieking like he’d hit her. She made a scene. He ignored her, ran after me, but it … hurt.”

  “Aww, honey,” Meg murmured.

  “He knew you were coming and couldn’t keep them away?” Olivia asked, outraged on Avery’s behalf.

  She swallowed hard. “It’s part of his lifestyle. That’s what had me so thrown afterwards. To even be friends with him now, I’d have to expose myself to that, and I didn’t know if I could handle it.”

  “And you couldn’t share that with me?” Liv asked, really and truly hurt. “I know what you went through because of Dad. I was there for you.”

  “And I knew you’d be there for me again. But you were busy making things right with Dylan. And then when you did, you were happy. I didn’t want my problems to drag you down. Plus you’d have felt bad about moving out, and I didn’t want that either. You finally had your happiness, and I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of that.”

  “What about your happiness?” Olivia asked, obviously moving on from the personal issues between them.

  Avery shrugged. “I don’t know. We still click. It’s all still there between us, but so are the differences. I sat in a corner for thirty minutes while he signed autographs and took selfies, and that was at a local restaurant.”

  “You don’t think you can handle the spotlight?” Meg asked.

  Olivia nodded. “When Dad came clean about the others, and then Avery was a match for Sienna, everything became public. And ugly. Dad’s well-known in Miami. It hit the papers, and we had a really hard time in school. From the youngest”—she glanced at Avery—“to Ian, the oldest, kids were awful. Mean. People looked at Mom in the grocery store, whispered behind our backs.”

  Avery knew Olivia was leaving out the rest to protect her, but she didn’t mind confiding in her friends. “I started getting panic attacks after the first time the photographers surrounded us. They yelled horrible, intrusive questions at my mom, and light bulbs flashed at me … I was nine. And I freaked out.”

  “Passed out is more like it,” Olivia said.

  Avery dug her fingernails into her hands at the reminder. “Yeah. So I really don’t like being the center of attention … not for any reason.”

  “Yet you put yourself out on the blog. That’s so interesting,” Meg, the teacher, said.

  “I know. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I studied psych in college. Extroverts like Grey feed off the crowd. They get energy and a high from it. For introverts like me, it’s draining. I control the blog, I put myself out there on my terms, and the rest is behind-the-scenes, where I’m most comfortable.”

  “Makes sense,” Riley said.

  “You know I support whatever makes you happy, right?” Olivia asked.

  “I know. And I love you for it. But don’t worry. It’s early days for me and Grey. I can’t begin to even think what will happen.”

  Olivia narrowed her gaze. “I don’t want you hurt again, but I do want you to open your heart to possibilities. I did myself and Dylan a true disservice by not doing that.”

  Nice words, Avery thought, but she’d learned the hard way that by opening her heart up to possibilities, hurt inevitably followed.

  * * *

  When Grey picked up Avery on Thursday evening, the weather was hot and humid, but the sun shone overhead, setting in a beautiful explosion of orange, red, and yellow on the horizon. He’d let nearly a week pass without more than a few texts and little pressure, despite the fact that he craved her with every cell in his being.

  Where she’d been a vague dream for the last three months, a goal and hope for the future, since he’d seen her again, spent time with her, kissed her, now she was so much more. He wanted a future, and not knowing if she’d come around ate at him more than he wanted to admit. Grey didn’t do nervous. Not before a show, not ever.r />
  Yet as they drove over the bridge to Star Island, his stomach was in knots, and he knew why. This was his shot. Avery would meet his friends, see what his life beyond the stage was really like, and she’d judge whether or how she fit in. He had no doubt Lola and Rep would accept her and make her feel at home. But would she relax enough to give them a chance? He felt like a fucking pussy, worrying so damned much.

  “Alex used to live here on the island,” she said of her half brother, former quarterback for the Tampa Breakers.

  Grey was grateful to her for breaking into his thoughts. “It’s a great place for people who need privacy.” He glanced over at her as he drove.

  She nodded. “He liked the area, but I think he was lonely. He and Madison have a smaller house now in a more residential area, and they love it.” She adjusted her sunglasses on the bridge of her nose.

  He loved how she looked in a strappy, skin-revealing sundress, her hair pulled back in a soft braid. Easy and casual yet so beautiful she took his breath away.

  “So who will be here?” she asked.

  “No clue.”

  She laughed. “That’s such a guy answer.”

  He grinned. “When it comes to Lola, having friends over can mean anything from just me to a houseful of Rep’s football buddies. But she did say small.”

  “Good.”

  He agreed. The smaller the better. He hadn’t seen Lola since their visit with Milo in rehab, and Grey hoped she meant a very few close friends.

  “So how was your week?” he asked Avery. He’d missed her, and he wondered if she felt the same.

  “Good, except for a hassle with the blog,” she said, sounding frustrated.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Trolls. Hackers. I don’t know. I keep getting an influx of insulting comments on the daily blog. Same on the videos.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “Is that normal?”

  “Not like this. I’ve spent hours on the phone with my web people getting them to isolate and shut it down.”