First Love Second Chance

by Kira Blakely

  At least, for me. I got the feeling that Ava’s grief intermingled with the past still. Her parents were the cause of that. I couldn’t count how many lawsuits I’d fought off over the years because of them. Responsibility. They wanted someone to be responsible for their son’s death.

  I downed the last bit of whiskey in my glass, and I caught sight of Ava strolling by the window. She was wearing a simple white dress with lace trimming, and a pair of small, strappy heels. Her dark curls bounced lightly as she walked. The dress hugged her in all the right places, even though nothing was exposed. I liked the change in my life for once. Ava had respect for herself. She never dressed skimpily to catch my attention. She didn’t need to do it. I found her attractive, no matter what she wore.

  I stood up from the table as the waiter led Ava into the small room. I smoothed the wrinkles out of the white button-up shirt I had picked for this occasion. She glanced at me nervously while she ordered a glass of wine.

  “I’m glad you came,” I said as we sat down at the table. “I didn’t think you would want to come out to eat with me.”

  “It’s not a date,” Ava pointed out.

  I did my best to not let the comment get under my skin. It wasn’t a date. It was about the article.

  She pulled out her notepad, which had a few questions scribbled down. “I just have a few questions that Chuck and I started with. Good headway for this article.”

  “Right,” I said moodily. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  Ava looked up from the notepad with a frown. “Look, I know you’re still angry with me but you were the one who made a deal about this article. I’m here because you asked me to be here.”

  “You don’t even want to be here,” I remarked icily. “Fuck. I don’t even want to be here because you aren’t interested in hearing a word that I have to say.”

  “Try me.” She pulled out her phone to push record. “I’m all ears, Jude. What got you into freestyle motocross?”

  I stared across the table at Ava. She leaned back in her chair with an earnest expression that I had a feeling was to appease me.

  “My father,” I said. Her eyes widened in surprise at that. “I’m serious. He was the one who got me into this type of sport.”

  “How did that happen?”

  “He hit the bottle pretty hard all the time, so I used to see how fast I could get away from him on a bike.”

  Ava paused the recording. “Please tell me you are shitting me when you’re saying that. I thought it was for other reasons.”

  “I’m not shitting you,” I said, sipping at my drink. “I’m serious. That’s how I got into this sport.”

  “Do you want me to include that in your piece?’

  “It’s my story. Include it.”

  “All right then.” She hit the record button once more. “So, your father was the main inspiration behind your career choice?”

  “He was a good motivator to do things differently with my life,” I continued, my eyes slipping closed with all those fucked up memories of my childhood on repeat.

  My mother screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night. Bottles being thrown everywhere, including at me. I remembered hopping onto my bike one night to get away from my father who was in a drunk, black rage over spilled beer in the kitchen. My legs had burned with adrenaline as I raced down the street to detour off on a grassy knoll. I’d never forget the sensation of being lifted in the air for a brief moment before I crashed back down.

  I brought myself back to the present. “I mean, aren’t parents supposed to make you realize how you want to live your life? I didn’t want to live the way my parents did, so I decided to stick with the bikes because they were the only good thing in my life for a period of time. I just got better over the years.”

  “And how is fame to you?” she asked.

  I opened my eyes to gaze at Ava, who was studying my face intently as I talked. “I like the fans. They are what made me a huge name here in this circuit. I feel like I’m sharing a piece of myself with them, and I like having someone look up to me as a role model. Even if you think I’m not the best role model, at least I keep myself out of trouble with the law and shit.”

  “I never said you weren’t a good role model,” she replied quietly. “Is there a downside to being famous?”

  I snorted at that. “Fuck, yeah. People always ask you for money and shit. There are contracts you have to honor because if you don’t, you lose the endorsements. I just like being able to ride and communicate with my fans. That’s it.”

  “You didn’t get famous right away,” Ava stated, sipping at her glass of wine. I watched those luscious lips press up against the glass, and a stab of desire went through me. “How did you manage yourself after eighteen?”

  “I showed up to exhibitions,” I said, shrugging. “I stayed in shelters if I had to. I just kept traveling around until I started earning enough money to hire people around me. There were a few times that I slept outside in a tent with my bike chained to me.”

  “Chained to you?”

  “Yes,” I said with a grin, and Ava burst out giggling. “I’m serious. I used to chain that fucker to my ankle so no one would steal it in the middle of the night.”

  Ava dabbed at her mouth with a napkin as she laughed. “I can’t say that I’m surprised at that. I know how much those bikes mean to you.”

  “I’ve beaten the shit out of people trying to steal them from me. My bikes are my babies, and I work hard to make sure they are in top shape. Which sometimes gains a little bit of attention from other people.”

  “Other racers?”

  “Mainly my family,” I said darkly. “They are always the ones telling me that if I can provide for myself and the bikes, then I could provide for them.”

  “You don’t provide for them, though,” Ava replied, and the anger in her voice surprised me. “It’s not your job. They don’t deserve any of your success because of what they did to you as a kid. Remember that, okay?”

  I smiled thinly in response. “I’m glad someone agrees that I’m not just a piece of shit son who doesn’t want to take care of his parents.”

  “Is that why you want me to do this article?” Ava reached over to turn her phone off, placing it in her purse. “Are you worried that they are going to try and slander your image with your fans?’

  “The thought occurred to me more than once,” I replied honestly. I doubted that my father would ever be sober enough to pull a stunt like that, but my mother was an entirely different story. She had a mean and vindictive streak in her. “I don’t think anyone would pay attention to it, but it can have some backlash.”

  “You’re smart to do this, then,” Ava said, nodding. “You could’ve told me that you wanted this as a favor, Jude. It would’ve made things a bit easier.”

  “I didn’t think you would even consider doing me a favor,” I said. “There were other reasons why I wanted you to be the one to write this article, too. My parents blackmailing me for money is a very small reason why I asked for you to come along.”

  “What are the other reasons?”

  “I wanted to talk about Andy,” I said.

  Just as I expected, Ava recoiled visibly at the mention of her brother’s name. She looked down at the table as the waiter returned with our plates of food. Neither one of us reached for our cutlery.

  “I don’t want to include Andy in the article,” she whispered. “Please don’t make me mention that as a motivator for you.”

  “No, I wouldn’t ask for that,” I said, shaking my head. “I just wanted to give you my side of it, you know? I never got the chance to talk to you about that night.”

  Ava traced a finger along the table top. She refused to look up at me, but I could feel her defenses caving in. She needed this. She needed the closure like I had needed it years ago.

  “What is there to talk about?” she asked. “I remember you and the boys egging him on. All of you with a beer in hand.”

  �
��I tried to tell him not to do it,” I blurted out passionately. “Jesus, Ava. I tried to tell him not to do it but he told me he could do it. What was I supposed to do? Yank him off the bike?”

  “Yes!” Ava exclaimed, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. “My brother would still be alive if you had! Your crew—”

  “My crew,” I spat out. “They aren’t here, Ava. Look around us.”

  “You were the one who could’ve talked him out of it. You and I both know that.”

  “I tried to talk him out of it. He wouldn’t listen to me.”

  Ava rose from the table to grab her purse from the back of her chair. Her hands were trembling as she slipped the strap over her shoulder. Tears slipped out from the corner of her eyes as she looked at me.

  “Where are you going now?” I asked.

  “I can’t do this,” she said. “I can’t do it. Seeing you out there, doing the same stunt that killed Andy. It’s too much.”

  “Ava—”

  She slipped out of the room before I could say anything else. I threw down my napkin in frustration before rising out of my own chair to pursue her through the dining area. Heads turned in our direction as I strode past the tables to finally catch up to her in the restaurant. I managed to grab her by the elbow before she could dart out into the night.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, tugging her out of view as onlookers turned to look in our direction curiously. I pulled her into a private hallway, away from everyone’s eyes. “You don’t even know where you’re going to stay tonight, Ava. Where are you going?”

  “Back to the bus,” she said flatly. “I can’t be here any longer. This was a mistake.”

  It was sheer impulse and lust that drove me forward to press her up against the wall. I pinned her hands up above her head before crushing my lips to hers for a sweeping and thorough kiss that left her breathless and hot beneath me. Her lips were swollen when she jerked back to look up at me with darkened eyes the color of the forest at night.

  “It’s not a mistake,” I said, passionately. “It’s stupid that you’re staying in the bus. Come stay in my room. No strings attached. I’ll even stay on the couch.”

  “No strings attached?”

  I let go of her wrists when she tugged at them. I took a step back to hold up my hand in the universal sign of scout’s honor.

  “My word,” I said, even though I had no intention of honoring it. “It’s hotter than hell out there, too. I can’t let you sleep on the bus. It doesn’t have air conditioning if it’s not running.”

  Ava chewed on her bottom lip as she weighed out my words and her options.

  “Fine,” she said. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 12

  Ava

  I had no idea what I was I thinking when I followed Jude off the tour bus to walk across the quiet parking lot in the direction of the hotel lobby. This wouldn’t lead to anything good. I knew that, deep down, as we crossed through the lavish hotel lobby. The staff seated at the front counter didn’t even bat an eyelash as we walked by them to the elevators.

  They were paid to keep quiet. I was confident about that as they all twisted away to give us privacy when Jude hit the elevator button. His shoulder brushed against mine as he leaned in to whisper, “Don’t worry about them. They aren’t going to risk their jobs by talking about us in the paper.”

  “I’m not worried about that,” I replied, watching the lights above the elevator doors. “You were the one who said rumors are rumors.”

  “Most of the time, they are.”

  “And the rest of the time?”

  The doors slid open. Jude stepped inside to push the fourth-floor button. The doors closed shut but he didn’t bother replying to the question. I didn’t push it any further, either. There were things that I didn’t need to know about. Everything about Jude was harsh truths. He never sugarcoated anything, and while I admired that honesty, there were times it was too much to take.

  The fourth floor, I realized quickly, was only for the wealthy. A big, burly man stood in front of a doorway. Jude led me past him and down the hallway to a door on the very end.

  “Is there a celebrity in there?” I whispered, glancing at the man who kept his gaze focused on the elevator doors. “I feel a little out of place up here.”

  “Money talks to anyone,” Jude said and punched his hotel card in the slot on the door. “It doesn’t matter who you are. If you can afford to pay for a suite, everyone treats you like royalty.”

  He pushed the door open, reached inside, and clicked the lights on. I stepped past him when he motioned for me to come inside first. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the lavish living room with nice furniture and decorations throughout. There were a few vases of roses on various tables. Large windows overlooked the entire city of Charleston. I slowly slid the strap of my purse down to set it on the couch while Jude shut the door behind us and locked it.

  “Wow,” I said. “I mean, wow. I never expected—”

  “Someone like me to have this type of money?” Jude finished with a smirk. He glanced around the living room with a small frown. “It’s strange for me, too, sometimes. I think back to that shitty living room in my parents’ house that had cigarette burns in the carpet. It used to smell of mold and rotten milk.”

  I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “Major upgrade.”

  “Agreed,” Jude said. “I don’t have a spare room in this suite, but you can stay in the bedroom.”

  “I can’t do that,” I protested, turning back to look at him.

  My heart thrummed anxiously in my chest at the sight of him unbuttoning the top of his pressed, white shirt. I didn’t dare tell him that I liked this version of Jude—the tall and tatted man with black silk hair, dressed sharply in casual trousers and a white button-up. Elegant but masculine and dangerous, all combined in one.

  Jude cocked his head to the side with a frown. “Why not? It’s my hotel suite. I paid for it.”

  “I know,” I said, clearing my throat. “That’s what I’m telling you. You deserve to sleep in the bedroom. I can stay out here.”

  “Don’t be so damn stubborn,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight. I invited you to have a place to stay, so follow me to the room.”

  His tone left no room for argument. I followed him reluctantly through a pair of white doors to the master bedroom. A king-sized bed faced the large windows, while a couch and table faced a large screen television on the opposite wall. I glanced through the cracked bathroom door to see a deep tub and fresh towels folded neatly along the rim.

  I eyed the couch near the television nervously as Jude grabbed one of his bags from the foot of the bed. He slung it over his shoulder and nodded curtly at me.

  “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” he said. “I’m going to turn in. It’s been a long day. Tomorrow is even longer, so I suggest you get some sleep.”

  The tension in the room was thick. I could barely breathe through it as Jude turned on his heel to march out of the room. The doors closed shut behind him but my suspicions lingered about what sort of game Jude was playing. He had kissed me, hot and hard, back at the restaurant. I doubted that he was acting like a chivalrous gentleman out of the kindness of his heart. This had to do with something else entirely.

  After slipping into a sleeping shirt, it occurred to me that he might be biding his time. He was waiting for something to happen or some sort of sign.

  Fuck him. I clenched my thighs together, and I rolled over to stare out at Charleston’s city lights. It was working, too. Every inch of me felt taut and ready for him. My stomach knotted into a million knots when I tried to concentrate on anything besides that kiss in the restaurant, or how it had felt to have Jude’s mouth sucking feverishly on my breasts. Too good. It had felt too good.

  Sleep took me, but even then, I didn’t get an escape from him.

  He tormented my dreams. Jude’s bare body pressed up against mine. I could feel his
hands sliding along the inside of my thighs. Those deft fingers were calloused over from gripping the handlebars of his motorbike. Pleasure bubbled in me as those fingers brushed over my center again and again. I moaned his name and writhed on the mattress.

  It felt so real…

  I turned and buried my face into the side of the pillow.

  The threat of orgasm overtaking my body dragged me out of my dreams.

  Still half-asleep, I curled up onto my elbows to gaze down at the broad, naked shoulders between my legs. The dark head buried against my pussy. The panties he’d pulled to the side.

  It wasn’t a dream.

  My heart slammed into my ribcage. I took in every inch of Jude’s muscular body covered in tattoos. His erection gleamed in the moonlight as he knelt back on his knees to give me a wicked grin that instantly made my stomach feel like Jell-O.

  Jude’s hands slid down my inner thighs in sensual strokes, and he reached up to grab the elastic band of my underwear. I reached down to grab his wrists while I stared up at him, sucking in harsh breaths. I was on the verge of giving in, but I also knew what would happen if I did. We could never be together. It wasn’t possible. Not after everything. My parents would never accept Jude into our family.

  All those thoughts disappeared when Jude hooked his fingers in my underwear and tugged them down past my hips and thighs. He tossed the garment to the side of the bed. I swallowed thickly when a wave of heat crashed over me. Sweat was already beginning to pool in the palm of my hands as I felt my fingers finally let go.

  Wordlessly, Jude slid down to lay between my bent legs. His hands reached beneath me to grasp my ass cheeks firmly before nudging me with his nose. The tip of his tongue traced the outline of my clitoris teasingly until I was squirming helplessly beneath him, ready to be sucked. This was fucking new, and I loved it.

  “Tell me that you want it,” Jude whispered hotly against me. “Tell me, Ava. Tell me that you want it.”

  I clenched the bedsheets with my fingers when his tongue teased the bundle of nerves that were straining for his touch. I was utterly helpless against the power of him. His fingers gave a hard squeeze on my ass cheeks. There would be marks there tomorrow.