First Love Second Chance

by Kira Blakely

  “Yes, I had to,” she said, whipping her curtain of shining, dark, straight hair over her shoulder as she started unpacking the groceries on my kitchen table.

  I was still in my two-day-old pajamas with a mug of tea in my hands that had gone cold several hours ago.

  “Are you trying to actively keep my godchild away from me?” I snarled at her, following her energetic movements with my eyes.

  She rolled her perfectly eye-shadowed eyes at me and opened the refrigerator to arrange some groceries in there.

  “Marla! Why are you keeping Zoe away from me? Do you think I’m incapable of looking after her now?” I asked, banging the mug of tea on the kitchen counter.

  “You’re having a rough time, and once you’re past it, she can stay with you again. You need some space, and we are giving it to you. You know she misses you. But I think this is for the best,” Marla said, facing me with her hands on her hips.

  “I’m not having a rough time; I just have a dissertation to submit. I’m studying!” I raised my voice at her when I knew she was right.

  “Lily, we both know that isn’t true. You’ve been done with your dissertation for a while now. You just need to finish typing it. You’re still hung up on that guy.” Marla started unpacking the fruits to arrange in my fruit bowl.

  I stared at her blankly for a few seconds. “I should have never told you about him. Now you’ll be throwing him at me every chance you get,” I snapped, and she shook her head and twisted her mouth at me.

  “Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you left the house in a week? Why do you keep listening to sad love songs? You’ve barely showered, and you haven’t done your laundry, and you keep snapping at all of us. You are love sick, girl, and you need to just man up and deal with it.” Marla was serious now. She crossed her arms over her chest, and I knew what that meant. She wasn’t going to back down now.

  “Love sick? Are you crazy? I barely know the man,” I said with a high-pitched laugh.

  “It doesn’t take that long to fall for someone, especially someone who looks like that,” she said in a softer voice. I was breathing in ferociously, and my nostrils were flared.

  “Look, Lily,” she continued and walked closer to me, placing her hands on my shoulders affectionately. “You’ve always been there for me. Through my divorce, all of Zoe’s life, you’re my best friend, and you’ve taken care of me. Now you need help, so let me take care of you, sweetheart,” she said.

  I knew my lips were quivering, and I was close to bursting into tears. She pursed her lips and was nodding her head like an affectionate old grandmother, and I sighed.

  “Thanks, Marla. I’m sorry for being rude. I’m just a little lost. I feel used and angry, but I miss him at the same time.” The words came painfully. I was admitting to my feelings for the first time out loud. I had tried to hold onto my rage against Casper for so long that I’d forgotten to admit how I really felt about him. I had painted a picture of being used for sex and then being thrown away. She thought I was only licking my wounds when, in reality, I felt a little heartbroken.

  “I know, honey. Love is a strange thing,” Marla whispered and stroked the sides of my arms.

  “Stop using that word. The “L” word. That’s not what this is,” I said, and she laughed a little.

  “And stop being a teenager, Lily. An important part of being an adult is to admit your feelings honestly,” she said, and I rolled my eyes.

  Then a thought suddenly hit me.

  “Marla, you just said that it’s doesn’t take long to fall for someone who looks like that. I never showed you a picture of Casper. In fact, I don’t even have a picture of him. How do you know what he looks like?” I asked, wriggling out of her grasp with my brows furrowed. All of this was making me very suspicious.

  Marla shrugged her shoulders and went back to unpacking the groceries. “I saw him on TV, and you’d told me his name, so I put two and two together.”

  “You saw him on TV? Casper Argent? What was he doing on TV?” I was excited again.

  “He was giving an interview on some news channel. I think I saw it today, in fact,” she told me.

  My heart was racing again. An opportunity to see his face again! I ran out of the kitchen into the living room, and I could hear Marla’s heels clicking against the floor as she followed me.

  “Lily, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Seeing him again.”

  I was rummaging through the piles of pizza boxes and bundle of clothes to look for the remote for the TV.

  “Lily! If you’re trying to get over him, you need to cut him off.” Marla was being more assertive now, but I was on a mission to see Casper’s face again.

  I switched the TV on and started flicking through all the channels.

  “Lily!” Marla yelled from behind me.

  “I’ll be fine. I just want to see him again. I just want to know what he was saying,” I said to her absent-mindedly. And I finally found the news channel where they were replaying the interview that Marla had seen earlier that day.

  My body instinctively collapsed into the couch. I was still clutching the remote in my hand as my eyes focused on the screen.

  Casper Argent.

  As crisp and handsome as ever. He was sitting on a chair in a lush garden with the backdrop of a beautiful luxurious mansion. I assumed that the interview was taking place in his house. He was in a sparkling white shirt, and this time, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, so I could see the veiny muscles of his forearms every time he moved his hands.

  His shoulders were wide, rippling under the confines of his shirt as he sat. Lithe and muscular, like a beautiful Greek god. Like a statue carved out of marble in a museum somewhere.

  I was drinking in all those angles, those features, the shape of his pointy nose… everything I had missed for so many days. His sandy blond hair was styled in its usual sophisticated fashion. Casually parted to one side, forming a tuft at the top of his head. His eyes were gray and relaxed. Every time he smiled, he made me instinctually smile, too. I was like a love-sick puppy who couldn’t stop staring at the screen. I hadn’t heard a single word that had been said yet.

  “He is gorgeous. I will give you that.” Marla’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I snapped out of my admiration of Casper and finally heard what he was saying.

  “Yes, it was a rather sudden move, but I decided to take all things into consideration,” he was saying.

  My ears pricked up, and the interviewer was nodding his head.

  “But hadn’t your company already invested a sizable amount of money in securing that land for the wind farms?” the man asked.

  Casper nodded his head, and ran a hand through his hair. Not one lock of hair was moved out of place.

  My brows crossed immediately. This interview was about the wind farms?

  “Indeed. But I was recently made aware of how the farms would affect the natural habitat of an endangered species of birds,” he said, and for a second I swear he was looking right at me.

  My heart stopped, and the remote fell out of my hands.

  “Did this have anything to do with the protests and demonstrations staged by environmentalists a few days ago?” the interviewer asked.

  Casper gave a small laugh. “I suppose it did. Some people made very strong arguments, and I just want to make it clear that we are listening. Our company is listening. We are trying to find a sustainable source of energy. That is the whole purpose of constructing wind farms, but we are also aware of their effects on the rest of our environment. We are all in this together.”

  Marla was standing behind me, smiling at the screen. “God, this man is good. I’m buying whatever he’s selling.”

  “Marla, he’s moving the wind farms!” I screamed, unable to control my excitement any longer. She looked surprised and a little confused. She didn’t really know what I was talking about.

  “Okay?” she said, following me around the room as I jumped and did fist pumps out of excitement.

/>   “Does this have something to do with you?” she asked, and I rushed over to her and gave her a tight hug.

  “That is what we were protesting. That is how I met him!” I explained to her, my smile stretching wide.

  “Wait, so he did this for you? You’re the one who changed his mind?” she asked, as I shook her shoulders.

  “I don’t know. But I don’t care. He’s moving the wind farms. Our protests worked. The birds will be safe, Marla,” I screamed.

  “Lily. He’s done this for you. He’s a billionaire businessman. He wasn’t simply swayed by a bunch of hippie protesters. He changed his mind because he wants you back. Because this is his grand romantic gesture!” Marla was also screaming by now while I was laughing. I didn’t want to believe what she was saying. In fact, it sounded ridiculous to me. But a tiny part of me wondered if Casper Argent had really done this for me.

  Chapter 18

  I blinked up at the multiple storied, sky-high office building of Argent Energy Systems. The last time I had been here, I had never met Casper Argent, and I was protesting his business decisions. By the end of that day, I’d been covered with glitter, and I had two tampons stuck up my nose.

  Marla and Zoe were in the car with me now. She had driven me here, and now they were both beaming at me with their identical toothy grins. I couldn’t help smiling back at them.

  “Good luck, Aunty Lily,” Zoe said, and she threw her arms around me to give me a tight hug. She could sense that something important and nerve wracking was going on with me.

  “Thank you, baby. It’s not a big deal,” I said to her, closing my eyes with the warmth of her squeeze. When we parted, I noticed the way Marla was looking at me.

  “What?” I asked her, suppressing a smile.

  “This is a big day for you,” she said, and I bit down on my lip.

  “I don’t know what you mean by that!” I tucked in some errant strands of red curls behind my ears.

  “Lily Fitz never apologizes. I think the only person you’ve ever apologized to in your life is Zoe,” Marla said, gripping the steering wheel.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ve apologized to people before.”

  Marla gave a high-pitched laugh.

  “Why are you apologizing to this man, Aunty Lily?” Zoe tugged at my arm. I turned and ruffled her hair, a smile forming on my face.

  “I’m not just apologizing to him, Zoe. I’m here to thank him as well. Our protest signs worked,” I said.

  “So, the birds are safe?” she squealed, and I nodded.

  “But remember to apologize, too, Lily,” Marla said, like an indulgent parent.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’ll apologize for what I said to him,” I said, cracking the car door open as I began to step out.

  “But keep your head high and walk out of there with poise,” Marla said, as I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind me.

  When I bent down at the window, my two favorite girls had their faces turned to me – shiny, expectant, adorable faces. I couldn’t help but beam at them.

  “This is a good step, Lily. You’ll be able to get past all of this with dignity. An apology works,” Marla said.

  “Time to move on with my life,” I added.

  “You sure you don’t want us to wait for you?” she asked, as I began to walk away, blowing Zoe a kiss.

  “Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ll take a cab. You go on off to work. See you girls tomorrow,” I said, waving my hand at them. Marla looked worried suddenly, but Zoe was my cheerleader, waving her hand at me furiously as I walked toward the building.

  This was big. I had never felt so nervous before.

  I could hear my heart thumping against my chest as I walked slowly toward the revolving glass doors of the magnificently tall, polished building.

  I was taking a leap of faith. I didn’t even know if Casper was here or somewhere else, or if he would be willing to see me.

  I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass doors just before I stepped in. I’d taken extra care with my outfit today. I was concerned about making the right impression. If this was going to be the last time we saw each other, I wanted him to remember me at my best. I’d chosen a pencil skirt in blue pastel floral prints that accentuated the curves on my hips. The blouse was the same pastel blue in chiffon with an elaborate ribbon bow at the collar. I’d tied my hair up in a loose bun on the side so that several bright red curls fell around my face, which I had to constantly tuck in behind my ear. The bun was held together with a blue ribbon, which I felt added a nice touch.

  My trademark leather sandals and a bright red lipstick completed my look. When I looked into the glass, I was happy with the way I was going to present myself.

  I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Casper since two days ago when we saw him on TV. I couldn’t stop imagining that he’d changed his mind about the wind farm because of me. I knew that was foolish. He’d asked me to stay out of his life. I was aware that he’d probably turn me away. That he might have already found someone new to fuck. But I couldn’t sleep at night. I needed to see him again. I wanted to thank him for the decision he made and apologize for my behavior.

  There was nothing I wanted more than that. I repeatedly told myself that I was only here to thank him and for nothing else. And yet, as I pushed through the glass doors, I couldn’t stop the nervousness from gripping me hard. I couldn’t stop my mind from whizzing, playing out disaster situations, wondering if he was even there, what he might be wearing, how he might look at me.

  It was all very foolish. I tried to calm my brain as I walked down the polished marble floor of the reception area. Everywhere I looked, busy-looking people in dark suits and smart skirts were walking past me. Never before had I felt this out of place, and I couldn’t deny that several people were turning to look at me, and not for all the right reasons.

  I still pasted a smile on my face and walked with pretend confidence over to the reception desk where a prim-looking receptionist sat with a microphone on a headband near her mouth.

  She looked extremely busy and hadn’t even noticed me walk over to her.

  “Hi, good morning.” I was fumbling with my words and realized too late that it was already four in the afternoon.

  The woman looked up, training her narrow, dark eyes on me with a jerk. I could see that she was studying me thoroughly, from the ribbon in my hair to my worn leather sandals. And she did not approve of what she saw.

  Her hair was sleek and blond, tied in a thin, tight ponytail behind her head. She wore a dark silk blouse, and that was all I could see. She had gone for that heavy makeup look used to try and portray a no-makeup face. I could see the foundation congealing on her cheekbones.

  “Good evening. How may I help you?” she asked. Her fingers were poised above the keyboard while she paused her typing to stare me down. I had never met such a high-brow receptionist before, and I raised an eyebrow at her while she continued to look at me down her sharp, long nose.

  “I’m here to meet with Mr. Casper Argent. My name is Lily Fitz,” I said, as sweetly as I could.

  The woman looked away from me and started typing again.

  “Do you have an appointment with Mr. Argent, Lily Fitz?” she said, and I cleared my throat. So, this wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought it would be.

  “No, but he knows me, so if you call him and ask, I’m sure he’ll see me,” I said, still forcing myself to smile.

  “I see.” The woman was still typing furiously. “And is he expecting you, Lily Fitz?” She was saying my name like she was trying to stab me with each syllable.

  I sighed, my smile slipping for a second with my frustration. “No, but like I said, he knows me,” I said, and began to tap the floor with my shoes.

  Her fingers stopped typing on the keyboard, and she stared down at me with her narrow, dark eyes. It almost scared me into submission, but I held my ground. Now my nervousness was gone, and it was replaced with a new kind of bravado. Who did this woman think she was?r />
  “Look, Mr. Argent is a very busy man. If you wouldn’t mind just leaving the leaflet with me, I promise he’ll have a look at it when he can,” she said, her lips curling in an evil smile.

  “I’m not selling anything!” I raised my voice slightly as I shook my head with anger. “I’m here to talk to him, and he knows me personally.” I gulped as I said the words.

  Now the idea was dawning on me, especially since this woman had repeated my name so many times, that Casper might have actually put a ban on me. He might have spread the word in his office that under no circumstances was anyone to allow me to enter the building or see him.

  “I understand, Ms. Fitz, but Mr. Argent is busy in meetings at the moment, so you will have to come back.” The woman seemed to enjoy the way my face was now reddening with anger.

  “I’ll wait if he’s busy,” I snapped at her. I wasn’t smiling anymore. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was deeply offended.

  “Miss, I suggest you come back later. In fact, here is my card. You can call me tomorrow, and I’ll let you know if he’s available to see you,” she said, and turned to reach for her business card.

  Something inside me did a somersault, and I was gone in a flash. I took the opportunity of the woman’s inattention to make a run for it. I was running for the elevators at the end of the lobby, my sandals slipping on the polished marble floor.

  “Ms. Fitz! Stop!” the receptionist called in a high-pitched voice behind me. Then the hurry of boots, and when I looked over my shoulder, two uniformed guards were chasing me toward the elevators as well.

  I kept running, my breath catching in my throat, my curls flying behind me. This was insane. But I was doing it.

  The elevator doors pinged, and I could see people getting out. I pushed past them and pressed the penthouse button. That’s where I was taken on the day of the protest.

  In typical Hollywood style, the doors closed just as the guards reached them. I shrugged my shoulders at them.