Addicted to You

by Renita Pizzitola

  There were a lot of things that had confused me about Colby over the years; there’d also been a lot of second-guessing and desperately wanting to make something out of nothing. But if there was one thing I knew, as a girl who he’d looked at like that before, I wasn’t just seeing desire where I wanted to. And maybe it was the few beers I’d already had, or maybe it was the fact that he looked more than inviting with his messy hair peeking out of his cap, his lips a bit reddened from drinking, and his eyes, so intense and focused on me, but I found my confidence again. The same one that had sprung to life a few nights ago.

  As I slowly closed the gap between us, Colby didn’t move. Instead he just tracked my movements, as if he could will me closer with just a look. Which he obviously could. After all, that was exactly the motive behind every step I took. I had to know what was behind that look. Would he shut down, like that night by my car, or would he let go, like he had when he first kissed me?

  When nothing remained between us but a breath’s space, I placed my hand against his well-worn shirt, slowly letting my palm glide up his chest and around his neck.

  He took a deep breath, his eyes slightly glazed, and his mouth parted.

  But then a thought flitted through my head. He’d been drinking. I doubted he was drunk, but it was safe to assume he had a buzz. Was this Colby the only version who wanted me? I’d let that go the first time, but I couldn’t be nothing more than a drunken hookup. It was even lower on the totem pole than friends with benefits, considering he’d at least have to make that decision with a clear head.

  As I stood there, letting my thoughts and insecurities carry me away, Colby’s hand lifted. He twirled a strand of my hair, then moved his thumb under my chin, tilting my head toward him.

  “Life would be so much easier if you weren’t so beautiful.”

  Was that a compliment? Sure, it was flattering to be called beautiful, but did he mean it’d be easier to not drunkenly fall into bed with me if he thought I was unattractive? After all, shouldn’t Colby, the guy who knew me better than almost everyone else, see beyond my looks?

  “I think you took that the wrong way.” His eyebrows slanted down as he studied my expression.

  “Not really sure how to take it.”

  His hand dropped from my chin and he stared at the ceiling, lifted his cap, then settled it back on his head. “Inside and out.”

  “Oh.” Well, that changed everything.

  “I wouldn’t feel so guilty about this.” His hand moved back to my hair, toying with the long strands hanging over my shoulder.

  My hand slid back down his chest, and I stared at my nails. “Is that why this only happens when you’re drinking?”

  “What? No.”

  I looked up.

  “I feel this way every freaking second of every damned day.” Then he leaned in, his mouth making its way toward mine. And just as his top lip brushed my bottom one, the front door jiggled. “And I’m not the only fucking one,” he mumbled. Then he sidestepped away from me, yanked his beer off the counter where he’d set it, and practically stormed out the back door.

  What. The. Hell?

  I stood there, trying to find my bearings after another serious case of Colby whiplash.

  The front door swung open and Landon walked in juggling a case of beer and a paper bag that instantly filled the room with an intoxicating scent.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll share.” He laughed and kicked the door closed behind him.

  “Huh?” I tried to snap out of whatever the hell had just happened.

  “You look hungry, and I know how much you like fries.” He set the bag on the table, then slid the case of beer into the fridge.

  Hungry. Well, that was one way to describe it. Did I crave Colby? Absolutely. When it came to him, was I completely insatiable? Yep. So yeah, it was fair to say I probably looked hungry. Just not for fries. But considering they were basically my favorite food group, I wasn’t going to turn them down either.

  I peeked into the bag. Landon had brought food home from the bar in two big white takeout boxes.

  “Please tell me one of those is french fries.”

  “Yep. A whole box of them.” He grinned. “Help yourself. I texted Colby before I got off and he said you were here, so I got extras.”

  “You’re the best.” I pulled out the top box and cracked the lid and discovered it to be filled with french fries. Gloriously greasy fries. And after the way Colby had just pulled a complete one-eighty, I could use a little comfort carbs. Or a lot.

  I plopped into a chair and angled the box between myself and an empty seat. Landon walked over, ketchup in hand, and squeezed what seemed like half the bottle into the box lid, then sat in the chair next to me.

  He opened the other box, which was filled with chicken tenders. More yummy, crunchy grease to help ease the confusion.

  Landon slid the box across the table, and I plucked one out.

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” He held up a cup of ranch but I shook my head. “Have fun with Gabe tonight?” he teased.

  I rolled my eyes, letting them wander toward the back porch where I could barely make out Colby’s silhouette. Was that what kept getting under his skin tonight? Gabe? He said he wasn’t the only one—but really, he couldn’t honestly find Gabe a threat. Or competition. Or whatever had him so worked up. Who cared if the guy flirted with me?

  “Be honest, did I give off anything that even remotely suggested I was interested in him?”

  “In Gabe?” He laughed. “No. You weren’t rude by any means, but other than letting the guy buy you a beer, no. I could tell you weren’t interested, but not too sure if he could.”

  Could Colby not tell either? I looked at him again, still sitting by himself. Matt and Taylor probably wouldn’t be back for a while, and he knew Landon was here, so why not come in?

  I lifted a french fry so drenched in ketchup it buckled under the weight, tilted my head back to avoid making a mess, then crammed it in my mouth.

  “Did Gabe say anything to you?” I asked between bites.

  “Nah, he mentioned the bonfire but seemed more interested in whether or not I could bring you, rather than me actually going.” He took a bite of ranch-covered chicken, then shrugged. “Not trying to break your heart or anything, but I’m sure he’s already found a new prospect at the beach party.”

  I grabbed my chest and feigned disappointment. “But Landon, he dedicated a song to me!”

  He laughed, just as the back door finally slid open. “This is why I love you.”

  Colby, who was once again nailing the role of brooding male, glanced at us.

  “Hey, I brought plenty. Help yourself.”

  Colby leaned against the bar dividing the kitchen and the small nook we sat in. “I’m good. But thanks.”

  I lifted another ketchup-saturated fry and dropped it into my mouth. Sure, most girls would try to eat in a manner slightly less barbaric, but most girls weren’t playing a game of will he/won’t he with Colby. And, quite frankly, this girl was sick of it. So he could stand there with his faint frown and sulking eyes, watching me cram five thousand calories into my sexually frustrated body. I mean, I had to find pleasure in something, right? And at this moment it was in the starchy, salty goodness of french fries.

  But when I glanced at him, he wasn’t watching me devour twenty potatoes’ worth of fries; he was instead staring at the boxes of food between Landon and me. Maybe he was hungry. Except his expression looked more sad than anything else.

  His gaze drifted to Landon, then slowly back to me. We made eye contact and the corner of his mouth tugged up in a tiny smile that somehow managed to look a lot like defeat. As if he’d discovered something he didn’t exactly like, yet had no choice but to accept.

  I tilted my head in question and he tugged out a chair and settled at the table with us. “So tonight was a good turnout.”

  Landon nodded. “Hell yeah. The band paid off.”

  “Bet your boss
is happy.”

  “Considering the way things typically die down at the end of summer, I sure as hell hope so.” He leaned back, finally having devoured all his chicken.

  “Did you put it together, like find the band and stuff, or just suggest it?”

  “I suggested it, then threw out the name of a few bands I thought we might be able to snag. He asked me to put in a few calls and it sort of fell together.”

  “That’s great, man. Good for you.”

  “Thanks. I enjoyed it.” He leaned back in his chair, tilting it onto the back two legs. “I’d love to make this into something more. Like some kind of event coordinator or something.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he shrugged as if to dismiss it and let his chair settle back on all fours. “Not that I don’t love bartending.”

  But Colby was quick to reassure him. “You’d be great at planning stuff like that. You know a lot of people, have a lot of connections. I think you should throw the idea out to your boss.”

  And this was what I’d always loved about all three of the Callahan boys. They may give each other a hard time, even have a disagreement from time to time, but in the end they were always supportive. Unlike my brother, Luis, who I’d barely even spoken to over the last three years.

  “Eh, it’s just an idea. Maybe I’ll get a few more successful nights under my belt first. Who’s to say it’ll work the next time?”

  “Who’s to say it won’t? Not much to do in Port Lucia once the summer ends. The tourists and their money vanish as soon as the weather shifts. It’s like the whole town goes quiet. Bring a little life back into it.”

  Landon nodded, his gaze drifting up as if lost in thought. Then he looked back at Colby. “I do have a few ideas, maybe I’ll see if I can get the green light at work.” He stood and shoved the take-out trash back in the brown bag. “I’m going to hop in the shower.” He turned to me. “Will you be here a while?”

  “I guess until Taylor gets back. She’s my ride.”

  “You’re always welcome to crash here,” Landon offered as he carried his trash into the kitchen.

  I glanced at Colby, unable to help but wonder if his mind had also returned to my last sleepover.

  “Thanks but I’ll probably head home when she gets back. Taylor hasn’t been drinking so I’m sure she’ll be fine to drive.”

  “Okay, well, if y’all change your mind, there’s always room.”

  “Thanks.”

  He walked out of the kitchen, leaving Colby and me alone at the table. Just like we’d been the other night. But instead of dwelling on the fact that something was obviously about to go down in the kitchen earlier, or on his mumbled remark, followed by storming off, only to then do a complete turnaround and join us at the table…I decided to move past it, tonight at least.

  “I love how you and Landon can talk. Like friends, not just brothers.”

  “We are friends.” He crossed his arms and stared into the kitchen. “What do you think of Landon?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just your general thoughts.”

  “He’s a nice guy, really fun, and sweet. I don’t know, what do you want to know?”

  “Do you think he’s attractive?”

  “Sure. He could get any girl he wanted. I’m actually surprised he isn’t dating anyone now.” I shrugged. “Why?”

  He studied my expression, then shrugged. “Just wondering. But you’re right, he should be dating someone. He’s a great guy.”

  I leaned in, sensing there was something he wasn’t saying. “Do you have someone in mind?” I smiled, hoping to convince him to spill whatever it was that he wasn’t sharing.

  “Maybe.” He returned the smile but it hardly seemed genuine. “Need to figure out how she feels first.”

  “Well, maybe I can help. Who is it?”

  “Don’t worry about it. It was just a thought.”

  “Oh.” I settled back in my chair, a bit disappointed that he seemed so closed off to the idea of me helping. “Maybe I should go look for Matt and Taylor. We probably need to get going.”

  “I guess it is getting late. You really could crash here if you wanted.”

  I stood and muttered, “Yeah, because that went so great last time.”

  “It did.”

  My head shot up. I was surprised he’d heard my mumbling but even more shocked by his response. His eyes were fixed on me and the look in them awoke everything that had built inside me during our little kitchen incident.

  Would it be completely crazy to just go over there and kiss him? Quit messing with these stupid games that he was so clearly playing tonight, and let things just happen?

  His gaze traveled down my body, then just as quickly flicked down the hall where Landon had disappeared. Did Colby worry his brother would see us and we’d no longer be able to keep it secret? Or maybe he felt bad having a girl when Landon didn’t. Though that seemed far-fetched, it wouldn’t be unlike Colby to be too wrapped up in making everyone else happy before thinking of himself. And if that was the case, I’d be more than willing to help Landon find a girl. Once he got preoccupied with a love interest, maybe that would leave the door wide open for Colby to do the same.

  So instead of closing the distance between us physically, I’d work on the emotional gap first. I’d offer my ear to listen, offer advice, and hopefully help him make his brother happy, since that seemed to be a real concern, and then, when the time was right, hopefully I could make Colby happy as well.

  I smiled and asked, “Want to walk the beach with me to see if we can find them?”

  He blinked as if thrown off by my request, then nodded. “Sure. Let’s go see where they’re at. But if we stumble upon any naked beach activities, I’m blaming you.”

  He gently poked my shoulder as he stood and walked past me, and as dumb as it was, that little bit of casual familiarity calmed some of the worry that had been nagging at me since we’d slept together.

  “Let’s hope there’s nothing that crazy going on.” I grinned and followed him out the back door. “Maybe it’s just me, but there is nothing more unpleasant than the thought of sand getting into places where it shouldn’t be.”

  Colby laughed. “Not just you.”

  It was the first time I’d heard a true Colby laugh in several days and, God, had I missed it.

  Chapter 10

  For the next few days, I didn’t see Colby. Which was probably good and bad. A little space didn’t hurt, but I missed him too. Over the summer, I’d become accustomed to leaning up against the hostess stand as his dad’s charter boat pulled in for the day. I’d watch him unload ice chests and fishing tackle, the muscles of his chest and arms bunching and flexing with every movement, shirt rising on occasion and giving me a peek at his suntanned abs, and really, what girl wouldn’t miss getting to watch that. But my favorite part of the boat docking for the night was the little hope that he’d pop over to Eddie’s and grab a bite to eat before heading home.

  But now I just stared out at the lonely boats in the harbor, bobbing in the water, under an overcast sky. Felicity’s now empty houseboat sat right next to Colby’s deep-sea fishing boat, making me long for summer again.

  The only word to accurately describe this day would be dreary. Thick gray clouds stifled any chance of sunshine. The wind whipped harder than normal, turning the usual gentle roll of the ocean into a foamy mess. It felt as if my happiness had become buried right underneath it as well.

  With my hands perched on the small of my back, I stretched to alleviate the stiffness from standing around today. I glanced at my phone and was thankful to see my shift ended in twenty minutes, which also meant I could begin my closing duties. At least that gave me something to do.

  As I walked from table to table, gathering salt and pepper shakers and ketchup bottles for refilling, I greeted the faithful locals who still came in to grab a bite. I made a second quick sweep with water and coffee. It wasn’t my job as hostess, but I liked taking care of the regulars. If i
t weren’t for them, I’d be out of a job. And I needed one, and every penny that came with it. Until January at least.

  Living with Grandma meant I had few bills, but I’d been saving everything I could to help offset the cost of living on my own. Unlike my brother, I didn’t have my dad to pad my pockets, and financial aid would only take me so far. Luckily I had managed to find a roommate who I’d met at a nursing school informational session. We hardly knew each other, but like me, Emily was in need of someone to split bills while finishing up her degree. She was soft-spoken, not much of a partier, and very focused on finishing school quickly and successfully. All in all, she seemed like the perfect roommate. Hopefully, I would still feel that way after a few months of living together. But I had a feeling we’d both be so busy with school we’d hardly have time to do much else besides study.

  As I wrapped up my workday, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, knowing it would be Grandma, considering she was one of the few people who actually still called.

  “Hi Grandma,” I said while clocking out on the computer.

  “Hola mijita. Will you be home for dinner?”

  “I’m on my way now.”

  “Ay bien. I’m making your favorite.”

  “Fideo?”

  “Si. I’ll see you when you get here.”

  “Okay, bye.” I pushed my phone back in my pocket and headed to my car. Today was definitely one of those days where my mood was directly affected by the weather. A little sunshine could have gone a long way…or flowers? I glanced around the hood of my car, convinced someone had set the bouquet down and meant to pick them back up, but nobody was around.

  I reached into the thick green stems where a little white envelope was tucked.

  Smile, Beautiful.

  It didn’t say who they were from, nor were they addressed to me, which still led me to believe they may have been left here by accident. The handwriting wasn’t even familiar. I scooped them up and unlocked my car, then laid them in the passenger seat.