Sean moved up my body a little, his torso pressing firmly against mine as he deepened the kiss. His hand slowly inched up my body and stopped on my ribcage, just below my breast. I was glad he stopped where he did, but I could still feel the heat radiating from his hand, and it made me want to do things I'd never done before. "Sean," I whispered against his lips; then I moaned when he did something oddly enticing with his tongue. The only way I could describe it was as a swirly motion. After a moment, he released my lips and gazed down at me, his brown eyes penetrated my soul as if he were trying to impart some of the lust he felt onto me. Little did he know, I had enough of my own coursing through my veins.
"I'm sorry." He traced my lips with his thumb.
"Why?" God, please don't let him tell me that he was sorry for kissing me. I couldn't handle that; not when I enjoyed it so much.
Sean ran his hand down my stomach to my waist and then dragged it back up to rest on my rib cage again. His gaze followed the path of his hand before settling on my eyes. "For getting carried away," he said with a smile. "I can't seem to help myself around you."
I blew out the breath I'd been holding. "It's okay."
"No, it's not." He gave me another kiss, this time much shorter and a lot cooler. "I like you a lot, Nicole, and I want to make sure we do this right."
I had to resist the urge to coo at him, but that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. "I like you, too, Sean."
He smiled. "Then that solves it. We'll take things slow."
Slow was good, very good. I liked slow. "Okay," I laughed.
"Hungry?" he asked.
I hadn't been when we arrived but all that kissing made me hungry.
"A little."
We both sat up. Sean emptied the contents of the picnic basket onto the blanket. There were a variety of sandwiches, fruits, and pastries. Everything looked delicious. Then he pulled out two glasses and a bottle of red wine. He poured two glasses and handed me one.
"To taking things slow," he said.
I nodded and clanked my glass against his before taking a small sip. The wine was sweet and it went down easily without much of a burn or an after taste (just the way I liked it). I licked the flavor from my lips and closed my eyes to savor it. Sean startled me when he leaned over and captured my lips in a lingering kiss that had the potential to spiral quickly out of control. And that's exactly what happened. Sean took my glass from my hand and set it aside along with his before using the force of our kiss to guide me back down on the blanket. He lay half on me half on the blanket. I lost track of how long we kissed, or how many times he caressed my stomach, face, arms, waist, but when we finally came up for air. I was in a blissful daze. "Mmm," I said dreamily, "What happened to taking things slow?"
CHAPTER 8
Sean McKenzie
I chuckled. "In hindsight, that probably wasn't one of my best ideas."
In fact, I had no idea what the hell I'd been thinking when I'd suggested taking things slow. All I really wanted to do was tear the clothes from her body and get to know her in the most intimate way.
She smiled. "I agree, but we do need to slow down just a little, okay?"
I knew she was right. We barely knew each other. Sex right now would only complicate things and things were so not complicated with Nicole. I loved how easy it was to be with her, how relaxed I felt around her. I'd never be able to live with myself if I messed this up.
"Of course, and if I ever cross the line, I want you to tell me because it's obvious I have no self-control when it comes to you."
That elicited a soft chuckle from her. Man, how I loved that sound.
"I promise to tell you if your behavior is anything less than gentlemanly."
"Gentlemanly?" I cocked a brow and grinned. "That's a pretty high standard to live up to," I teased.
"Well, so far, you've been doing a very good job."
"Really? Hmm, well, that's good to know." I could spend all afternoon just like this with half her body beneath mine, her lips within my reach, ready and eager for me to kiss them whenever I wanted. If we didn't speak another word, I'd be okay with that. Just holding her, having her close, it was all I needed or wanted. With Nicole by my side, I knew I could overcome anything. I wasn't sure how I knew that, I just did.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Ask me anything you want," I said, refusing to move an inch. Not that she seemed to mind at all.
"What are you going to do when you finally leave the VA Center?"
"I don't know for sure. I do know I'm going to be staying around here, though." Her smile was all the answer I needed to know she was happy with that decision. "Jeff, he's my roommate at the VA, we've talked about getting an apartment together. The center will help get us set up in a place, but then we've got to find a way to pay for it. We'll get veteran benefits, but I want to work again."
"What did you do before you were sent to Afghanistan?"
"Lots of different things. I gave private music lessons. I was a substitute music teacher at the high school for a while. I really enjoyed that."
"I bet you did," she said in a playful tone.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, I'm sure all those high school girls just adored you," she laughed, "I know if I had teachers that looked like you, I would've paid a lot more attention in those classes."
It was my turn to laugh. I really had no idea what to say to that, so I simply leaned down and gave her another kiss. Her fingernails scraped along the nape of my neck and I trembled.
"I love it when you do that," I whispered. She smiled against my lips and did it again. What a little minx, I thought as I nipped at her bottom lip. "Keep it up and I'm going to be forced to do something that might be out of the realm of gentlemanly behavior."
She laughed again, "Okay, I'll stop."
I really didn't want her to stop, but she'd said she wanted to slow down, and I would respect her wishes.
"So, what do you do when you're not singing with your quintet?"
"I spend time with Toni or read. I do a lot of volunteer work for different organizations. And I do some babysitting for my neighbor's little girl. She's adorable. I love the time I get to spend with her."
I listened intently, realizing how perfect and pure she was. Everything about her was kind and giving. What could she possibly see in me? I was riddled with demons, emotional and psychological ones. I couldn't sleep through the night without thrashing and screaming, waking up in a cold sweat, thinking I was still in that Godforsaken desert.
"Sean?" Her sweet voice pulled me back to reality.
"Huh? What?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yea,." I nodded and smiled, "Do you want to have kids of your own?"
"Someday, after I'm married, yeah. Do you?"
I shrugged, "I hadn't really thought about it, but I'm not opposed to the idea."
"And what about marriage? Are you one of those guys Toni's always complaining about? The type who's afraid of commitment?"
"No, that's one thing I’m not afraid of. My father always told me there was nothing better than finding that one woman to spend your life with and then giving her everything you've got. I plan to do just that someday."
I kissed the tip of her nose and she wrinkled it in the most adorable way. I chuckled. "You said you wanted to have kids after marriage. That must mean you're open to the idea."
"In theory, yes."
"In theory?" I gave her a confused look.
"I like the idea of marriage, but I watched my mom go through a painful divorce and then man after man after man, none of them ever loved her. It was sad and pathetic. I don't want that for myself. That’s is the reason I hardly date."
"I have a hard time believing you don't date."
Any man that wasn't lining up to go out with her was just plain stupid. How lucky was I she was here with me right now? I still couldn't believe it.
"I don't," she said.
I decided not to push
the issue. The fact she didn't date was good news for me. It meant I didn't have to compete with anyone else for her affections. I sighed, "We should probably head back to the center. I have a session with Dr. Monroe this afternoon."
Nicole nodded, "That's okay. I have to get home and get some stuff done anyway. Toni is coming over later."
We both got up and gathered our stuff. I took her hand, loving how perfectly it fit into mine, and kissed her knuckles. She blushed and I had to stop and admire the gorgeous crimson hue of her cheeks. I noticed she did that a lot, usually when I kissed her or said something sweet to her.
"What?" she asked self-consciously.
My lips quirked up into a faint smile. I tugged on her hand, pulling her closer to me.
"You're blushing."
Nicole looked away as if embarrassed. "I don't even realize I'm doing it half the time."
"Hey," I turned her face back to me, "I think it's sexy."
"You do?"
I clutched her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lowered my mouth to hers, stopping before they actually touched. Keeping my gaze locked with hers, I said, "Everything about you is sexy, Nicole." Then I kissed her.
*****
I popped a wheelie in my wheel chair then rocked on the two hind wheels.
"Well, it looks as though your spirits are high this afternoon," Dr. Monroe said with a grin.
"I've never felt better."
"Want to tell me about it? What has you feeling so good today?" He tapped his pen against his notebook.
That constant, repetitive sound normally annoyed me, but I barely noticed it. "Nicole." I couldn't say her name without smiling.
"A woman?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "Is this the same woman who is assisting with your musical therapy?"
I nodded. "We went to the symphony last night, and today we had a picnic out by the pond. She's wonderful. She makes me feel…alive."
"That's good. The last time we spoke you were having trouble sleeping. Are you still?"
"Sometimes," I said, "Last night I slept like a baby, and after the day I had today, I'm sure I'll sleep the same tonight."
"How's the prosthesis working?"
"I've been wearing it a lot more lately. It hurts, but it's getting easier."
"Let's talk about Nicole some more." Dr. Monroe jotted something down in his notebook. "Have you told her about your injury?"
"Yes. I told her about how it happened."
"And how did she respond?"
I shrugged. "She was sympathetic."
"And how has she dealt with your injury?"
"What do you mean?" This line of questioning was causing my mood to plummet. Where was Dr. Monroe going with all of this? "She acts like she could care less. It doesn't seem to bother her."
"How does that make you feel?"
What kind of question was that? Of course it made me happy. I was glad my missing leg wasn't an issue for Nicole. "Okay, I guess. It's good she doesn't dwell on it. In fact, when I'm with her, I sometimes forget I have a fake leg." Dr. Monroe shook his head. He hated it when I called it my fake leg. He said it minimized my trauma. "Do you think she could love someone like me?"
"Love?" He raised his brows. "That's a strong emotion for someone you've only just met."
I hated it when he did that. I'd ask a question and he'd pick out one word and focus on that instead of answering me. "I didn't say I loved her. I'm just wondering if someone like her could ever love someone like me."
"What do you mean by someone like her and someone like you?"
I rolled my eyes and indulged him with an answer. "She's just so pure and innocent. She's good and kind and sweet. And I'm…well, I'm not any of those things. I have scars. Lots of them," I said and then added, "I've seen and done things; bad, horrible things that she'll probably never understand."
"You've put this woman on a very high pedestal."
"So?" Dr. Monroe didn't know Nicole. He didn't know the type of person she was and he had no right to tell me how I viewed her.
"The higher the pedestal, the bigger the disappointment," he said, setting his notebook and pen on the desk and then folding his hands in his lap. "I'm worried about how all of this will affect your mental health should things not work out with this woman."
Guess that was my answer, "So, you don't think she could ever love me?"
"That's not what I said, Sean. Don't put words into my mouth. I simply think you need to go into this with your eyes wide open. Relationships among young people, even under the best of circumstances, are difficult. You're coming into this with a host of problems."
"Gee, thanks," I said. My mood had soured, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. "I like how I feel when I'm with her. I want to pursue this with her."
"And I think you should."
"You do?" I swear he talked in circles better than anyone I'd ever met. It was frustrating.
"Yes. I think it will be good for you, providing you have realistic expectations about the relationship."
"I do."
He smiled, "Good. So, I'll see you on Monday then."
"Yup, thanks, doc," I said, wheeling myself out of his office. I usually left those sessions feeling better or the same. Today, I just felt weird.
"Sean, you have a call at the front desk," said Beth, the front desk receptionist.
I had a call? That was weird. Who would be calling me? Nicole had the direct number to my room. I wheeled up and stopped by the front desk. Picking up the receiver, I said, "Sergeant Sean McKenzie." It was force of habit.
"Hi, Sean, this is Toni, Nicole's friend," she said in a bubbly voice.
"Oh, hi Toni."
Why was she calling me? Then a disturbing thought struck me. What if something had happened to Nicole? The color drained from my face as I waited for her to speak.
"Do you have a minute? I have a huge favor to ask you."
She had my interest.
CHAPTER 9
Nicole Baker
I opened the oven door and peeked inside. The cheese on my lasagna hadn't even started to bubble yet. It would be another hour or so. Perfect. That would give Toni and me time to practice before dinner. I heard a knock on the door.
"C'mon in, Toni, its open," I shouted as I hastily wiped my hands on a dish towel before turning to greet her. Only, it wasn't Toni standing in my doorway. It was Sean. He has his violin in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. To say I was shocked was an understatement.
Sean smiled ruefully and said, "Toni called and said you needed some help with your music. She said you asked if I'd be willing to come over and help you with it."
I gritted my teeth. I was going to kill Toni. This was a new low for her. Not that I wasn't happy to see Sean, because I was. But damn it, she could've given me a warning or something. "I…"
My ringing cell phone cut me off. I dug it from my pocket and answered it. "Hello?"
"Hey, Nikki, so sorry to do this to you on such short notice, but something came up and I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. I found a very suitable replacement, though. Have fun. And you're welcome." She hung up before I had a chance to say anything.
I looked down at my phone and shook my head with disbelief. She was unbelievable. Slowly, I looked back up at Sean, who was hesitating at the door. God, he looked good.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have just shown up like this. I can leave if you want," he said.
"No, of course not, please, come in." I took the bottle of wine from him and closed the door. "I'd love to have you help me." He smiled and followed me into the kitchen. "Something smells good."
"I hope you like lasagna," I said, putting the wine in a bucket of ice to chill.
"It's one of my favorite dishes."
"Really?" I spun around to look at him and he nodded. His eyes sparkled and my heart fluttered. He had the most amazing eyes. I could spend hours getting lost in them. "Well, it'll be about an hour before it's done. We could practice until then."
&nbs
p; "Sure."
I smiled and led him into the living room. He took a seat on the sofa and I sat beside him. I warmed up my voice while he prepared his violin. Within moments, he was playing so beautifully I almost forget to sing. When I did, my voice blended so perfectly with the dulcet tones of his violin. It was magical. My gaze was focused on Sean as we approached the part of the music I'd messed up on this morning. I breezed through as though I'd been singing this piece my entire life. Sean smiled and I felt my heart rate increase. I fought to keep my voice steady as my body heated and raced out of control toward some unknown, unfamiliar destination.
One look into his eyes and I knew. Passion, hot and thick burned between us. It was palpable. As soon as the last few notes of the music faded into the air, Sean practically dropped his violin to the floor, clutched my face in his hands, and kissed me. His tongue glided around mine, exploring my mouth with expertise, ratcheting my growing desire higher and higher with each flick of his tongue. I remembered what he said earlier about loving it when I grazed my fingers across the back of his neck, so I did it. He shivered from the contact and I moaned into his mouth.
Sean's hands left my face slipped around into my hair as he deepened the kiss. The sound of a loud beeping startled me and I jerked away from him. He looked as flustered as I did. It took a moment for me to realize what it was. Once I did, I jumped off the sofa and rushed into the kitchen. "The oven," I said, opening the door and saving my lasagna from burning. Sean joined me in the kitchen and we both laughed nervously.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked.
"You can open the wine. There's a corkscrew in that drawer right there." I nodded toward the drawer near the sink. Picking up the pan of lasagna, I carried it to the table in the small dining room just behind the living room. I set it down then hurried to gather some candles from the china cabinet in the corner. I managed to get them set up and lit before Sean came walking in with the opened bottle of wine.
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