I stay silent as we walk to his office. He sits behind his desk and I sit across from him in one of the two chairs. He’s looking down at some papers on his desk as I pull my gun from my purse and aim at him. When he looks up, he laughs, so I shoot him in the shoulder. He jerks back in the chair and cusses and then reaches down and pushes something underneath his desk, a silent alarm I’m guessing, so I shoot again and hit him in the other shoulder while still calmly sitting in my chair. The minute I fired that first shot, I sealed his fate, and mine. No turning back now. I have to protect Callie.
“You fucking bitch!” he bellows. “The police will be here any second so you better fucking run or be prepared to go to prison. I’m a fucking judge. I run this town. You’re going to be sorry,” he says while slumped back in his chair. Now I recognize his voice as the one I heard talking to Davis and the man with accent the day I was hiding in the shower in his office. I sit and stare at him as he tries to get up but can’t. Minutes later, I hear the sirens so I better get down to business.
“Who else knows Davis was Callie’s father?” I ask calmly with the gun still aimed at him.
“Fuck you. I’m not telling you anything,” he says trying to sound brave, I put another bullet in him and he screams out in pain.
“Better tell me or else you’ll be dead before they even make it in here,” I say while leaning back in my seat.
“I don’t know,” he cries. “Me, just me!” he quickly says when I hold the gun up again.
“You know, I don’t believe you,” I close my eyes and sigh as I take the bottle of pain pills from my purse and twist off the top. His phone starts ringing and I lean back as he reaches out to answer and groans in pain from the bullet in his shoulder.
After he answers I tell him to put it on speaker. He does what I ask. “Judge Doss, this is the police. Is everything okay?” He starts to answer but stops when I point the gun at him.
“No, he’s not okay. I’ve shot him three times and he’s bleeding a lot. I just need him to answer one question and then I’ll let him go and you can get him help.”
I hear shuffling and then another voice. “Hello, this is Captain Kebodeaux.” he says and I hear more shuffling. “Would you like to tell me your name and let me see if I can help you?” he asks cautiously.
“My name is Sasha Rowe and Judge Doss here is working with others in this town manufacturing and distributing drugs. He was working with Dr. Davis Jennings. They’ve poisoned me while using me as a lab rat and that killed my son. I need to make sure my daughter is safe. I need to know they won’t use her as a weapon because of who she is and what I know.”
Because I don’t know who to trust, I don’t tell him Callie is Davis’ daughter only that she’s important to these evil bastards.
The sound of tires squealing outside signals the arrival of the police. I know what’s going on. They've surrounding the house, looking for a way in to save this piece of garbage. I hear Captain Kebodeaux take in a breath and then he shocks me.
“Sasha, I need you to listen to me. We know what’s going on in this town. There are investigations underway. We know Judge Doss is dirty. We can help you.”
“With all due respect, you could be involved too. I don’t know who is friend and who is foe, but I do feel something that’s telling me I can trust you, Captain Kebodeaux, and we both know none of them will see the inside of of a jail cell. All I need is one thing; I need to know my daughter will be safe.” I sit and wait. I can hear rustling outside. They’re getting close. “Captain Kebodeaux, whatever they did to me is not curable. I’m dying and I still don’t have any answers. They also did something to Lina Jennings, her sons and others. As for me, I’m a nurse and I know I don’t have long. My pain gets worse every day and I can feel my body failing. I would like you to promise me one thing. I want your word and then I’ll end this.” Almost a whisper I ask him, “Just promise me one thing, please?” I plead.
His voice is soft, gentle, and full of kindness. He knows what I’m about to do and he’s giving it to me. “What would you like, Sasha?”
I raise the bottles of pills to my mouth and start taking them a few at a time. My tears helping me swallow them down. I manage to take all forty pills. No way back. Before the effects sit in, I answer him. “Promise me, Captain Kebodeaux, promise me that you will make sure, Callie, my daughter, goes with the McGinty’s. I know they’ll love and protect her. Make sure they adopt her as soon as possible. The sooner she carries their name, the safer she’ll be. Watch out for her, please. I’m giving you my permission. I’m giving up my rights to her but not my love. Please, promise me. Protect her from these monsters.” I take in a shuddering breath as tears pour from my eyes. “This is my deathbed declaration. This is my dying wish.”
I wait, I can barely see through my tears, but I know that Judge Doss is trying to move from his chair, but I don’t do anything. I wait. Then I hear the words I need to end this.
“You have my word, Sasha. I promise you I will make sure Callie is taken care of. That your wishes are followed.” he says softly as he clears emotion from his throat. “I’ll protect her. I promise.”
With that, I empty every bullet I have into Judge Doss. I watch as he falls from the chair, eyes open, but dead. I hear the door being busted open and I toss the gun to the floor. I slump in my chair; my breathing is shallow. It won’t be long because I’m already halfway dead from what they did to me. Maybe I’m weak for not fighting harder but I’m so tired. I just need the pain to stop. I just need Callie to be safe and as long as I’m alive, she won’t be.
My body falls from the chair to the floor. Police rush in and head for Judge Doss and all I can think is, too late, he’s in hell. My eyes lock onto one of the men as he makes his way to me, gun raised and he’s dressed in black. He kicks my gun away and then drop to his knees beside me. I look at him as my breathing becomes even more shallow.
“Ma’am, where are you hurt?” He starts checking me over while talking. “I’m Officer Bradshaw but you can call me Johnny, okay?” He stops checking when he sees something and I watch as he reaches over and picks up the pill bottle and reads it. “Sasha?” I look up at him through the slits in my eyes that have become heavy and are closing. “Sasha, please tell me you didn’t take all of these.” One hand goes to my throat, feeling for my pulse and with the other he wipes the hair from my face, cupping my cheek tenderly as my eyes slip closed. “Sasha, stay with me. Help is almost here.”
I manage to slightly open my eyes and look up at Johnny, but then I sense, more than see, a light and it’s warmth surrounds me. A brilliant silhouette comes into my view and he’s holding hands with a little boy. The little boy smiles at me, his silver eyes sparkling and he reaches for my hand.
Johnny calls out one more time. “We need help here! Hurry!” I feel his breath on my face as he pleads. “Sasha, please, hang on.” he begs as I feel my last bit of air leave me.
In that moment I think back to the preacher’s words at Cole’s service when he said, ‘I’m sure God himself comes for the children.’
I walk to them and take Cole’s hand and my pain slips away. I smile down at him as Cole, my son, pulls me into the light.
Daniel and Lincoln
I hear the door open but don’t look up. I know it’s my brother. I can’t look at him. I can’t face the disappointment I know I’ll see in his eyes. Maybe even hate. They think I’m a monster but I’m not and at the same time I am. I know what I’ve done to him, my brother, and at one time, my best friend. I tried my best to protect him but then tried to kill him. It didn’t matter what happened to me but I failed anyway. I failed them all. Our Mom sits in a wheelchair and he’s left me. I betrayed him. I betrayed her. I betrayed them all. I never understood why. How the soul in me grew so dark. My dad told me it was for the greater good. Told me I would be a hero. Now, I know he was only trying to help himself as he turned me into a villain.
“Rocky.” Linc says and although he can’t see it, I rec
oil at him using the name. I used to be his Daniel.
I don’t move, keep my head down, looking at the papers spread out over the table. He comes over and sits next to me on the sofa. I can see he’s trying to be brave but he’s scared shitless of what I might do. I don’t blame him. He doesn’t see Daniel anymore.
“How?” Linc asks while looking down at all the papers.
I’m looking at the papers but I don’t need to. I’ve read each one a hundred times. But he’s not asking about the papers.
He wants to know how I’m alive.
Dr. Jennings. Our bastard father is how I’m alive.
“Dad.” I say the one simple word and he knows.
The day I was shot by the police and went off the cliff into the lake. The day I almost destroyed a family. The day I almost killed my brother and two women. Abigail, the sister of the one person I ever truly loved, my Jaycee. That day, inside my head, a battle raged. I could hear one side telling me to stop what I was doing. Stop the path I was on and the other side was yelling at me, causing me to feel rage, screaming at me to fight. Hurt them if they tried to take her from me. To take her if she tried to leave me. After I was shot and went off the cliff, I managed to float on my back using what little strength I had and drift down the water along with the current, eventually coming close enough to a small rocky bank to pull half my body out of the water. I could hear them searching for me, their voices, their footsteps. A helicopter was flying over back and forth. I was weak but in my head I was screaming, over here! Come get me! Stop me! Then I turned to the side and saw blood, my blood, sliding down the rocks into the lake. Either way, it won’t be long. Whether I die or they find me, it ends.
I woke up to find myself in a cabin. Lying in a bed with an IV hooked in my arm. I remember forgetting for a few minutes and closing my eyes. Thinking I'd been asleep and had a nightmare but then I heard movement and slowly looked over to see I was still in my nightmare and he was standing there, looking down at me, shaking his head. Showing me how pathetic he thinks I am. He’s right.
“Over a woman,” he says in disgust and sticks his hands in the front trousers pockets. “Thought I taught you better. But it doesn’t matter. You’re back. You always come back. Couldn’t even escape on a ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. No matter how long or how far, you’ll come back, even death, you can’t escape, Rocky. I’ll bring you back one way or another. Now, you’ll have to work undercover but you’ll be okay. You’ll just live in the shadows.” He pulls his hands from his pockets and sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches over to check the spot where there’s a catheter near my hand. Anyone on the outside would think it was a gesture of caring but I know he’s just protecting his own investment.
I look away from him. Why couldn’t I have died? Even going to hell, because God would never allow me in Heaven, would be better than this.
“Yes, sir,” I say. My words barely come out. I need water.
He helps me sit up and I feel stiffness in my shoulder and stomach. I manage to sit up just enough to take a few sips and then lean back against the headboard of the bed. I look around, not sure where I am.
“You’re at Judge Doss’ cabin about three miles from our place. When I got news of your stunt, I called up some of Andres' men. Had them comb the area looking for you. When you didn’t turn up for a few hours, the police gave up the search for the night presuming you were dead, but I knew you weren’t. Andres had his men come out and they searched all night along the banks where the current flowed. I knew you’d follow that,” he tells me as he stands and walks over to the window and looks out. “You managed to float into an alcove just a few hundred yards from the dam wall. Had yourself tucked away in a nook. They were just about to give up when they heard you praying. Said you were asking God for forgiveness.” He looks back at me. “Rocky, God will never forgive you for the things you’ve done just like he won’t forgive me.” He makes his way back over to me. “And that’s okay.” He glances back out the window and then at me. “Got you up here, removed the bullets and stitched you up. Took three...shoulder, arm and side. That police officer was a terrible shot.”
“Jaycee,” I say her name like it’s being torn right from my heart. I can’t believe I killed her. I feel my eyes fill with my tears. Jesus, what have I done. I lean my head back and close my eyes. I feel the drops sliding down my face, my body jerking in a sob.
“Boy, calm down. She’s alive. Both she and her sister are fine.” he says, exasperated as he sits down in the chair next to my bed.
I jerk my head to look at him. “Alive?” I beg him to be telling me the truth.
“Yes, Rocky. They both survived your ridiculous jealous rampage. Jaycee is back home and living with Blue Bradshaw. You need to forget about her. Her sister, Abigail, is back home too. Forget about all of them. Rocky, if Jaycee is going to be a distraction, I’m going to have to take care of that. Don’t make her a problem. I don’t like problems,” he says while staring at me.
And he would. He’d have someone kill her without blinking an eye. He’s in deep with the Mexican drug cartel. He has connections all over this state and into Mexico. His threats have kept me doing his will for as long as I can remember. It started with him hurting my mom, then Lincoln. He never expected me to step up being the youngest, but I did. I love my mom and brother so I did what he told me. Sometimes it was as simple as letting him inject me with something or swallowing a pill, making deliveries, checking on shipments or roughing someone up that upset him. I remember those early days. My early teenage years I remember feeling my body burn from the inside as the chemicals made their way through my system. He would take me to a private lab not far from the hospital he worked at. Everyone knew him at this place. There were others beside me. His guinea pigs. He only stopped when a fellow doctor said that I couldn’t take anymore or there would be permanent damage to my mind and then there would be questions. As soon as I was of age, I ran off to the first recruiting station and joined the military, but it was too late. The damage had been done and I came back home and accepted my fate. A monster had been created. Inside my mind a constant battle waged. He made me his soldier. His drug runner and enforcer.
Now, weeks after the shooting, weeks after my dad’s death, I sit in our family’s cabin looking through papers I found hidden under some floorboards beneath the claw tub in the master bathroom. I knew he’d have something somewhere. I tore this place apart and couldn’t find them. I had just about given up and was standing in the master bath remembering how much Jaycee loved the tub.
I remembered that first day, the most beautiful day of my fucked up life, thinking how much I couldn’t wait to bring her back up after I got done dealing with Kelly. I was going to run her a bath, light candles, and love her. I feel my breathing become heavy. I walked over to the tub and dropped to the floor. I’m not sure how long I sat there but I kept thinking about Jaycee. Finding something. Finding answers. It’s like a voice whispered in my ear to look underneath the tub. I felt along the floor and finally came across a loose board. I pushed the tub as back, surprised at how easily it moved. The pipes moved along with it, but just enough so they didn’t break. I pulled one board back and then another and reached in and pulled out a fire safe metal box. Without putting the boards back, I lifted the box and carried it into the family room. After picking the lock I lifted out file after file.
Now two days later after sending him a text from a burner phone, I sit here with Linc. He needs to know.
I’ve been sitting here for hours now going over everything with Linc. When he got to my file simply marked ‘Daniel’, he lost it. He’s been apologizing nonstop. I don’t blame him. I don’t blame anyone except the monster who did this to me. Our father.
Finally, I hand him the last file.
I watch as it hit him. The veracity of what’s in that file. All the puzzle pieces start coming together.
“He was breeding new lab rats,” I say in disgust.
“He kil
led him and he was probably going to kill her, eventually.” Linc says in shock.
“They’ll come after her.” I tell him. “They’ll come looking for these files. If they find out about her, they’ll use her as leverage. I’m sure someone knows about her.”
“They already have. Someone tore the house apart.” he says and looks back at me. “And his office.” He sits back against the couch. “What are we going to do, Daniel? We have to protect her.”
It’s a punch to the gut to hear him call me Daniel again and I cough back the emotion. I have nothing to lose now and he has everything. He has to be there for Mom and her.
I can never come out of the shadows so I’ll destroy them all from there, the dark.
“Lincoln, we’re not going to do anything.” I look him dead in the eye. “I am.”
I pick the most important paper up and take one last look. Memorizing every single name. They will all pay. I drop the paper back down and stand up.
“I have to protect her.” I say while walking over and looking out the back bay window.
“Do you know where she is?” he asks.
“Yes, I know where. Look at the very bottom of the last page.”
I watch as he reads it and then as it hits. “What?” he asks in shock and I walk back over and drop down into the chair across from him.
“Both of them.” I say and watch as his eyes dart from me to the paperwork to the floor and finally back to me.
“Brock and Paige McGinty adopted our brother and sister.” he says.
“Cole passed away but they continued with the adoption, gave him a proper burial. Their mother, Sasha Rowe,” I tap the name listed on the file. “Can’t be found but I’m pretty sure she’s that nurse we met that one day, his birthday. I think he called her, Ms. Rowe. Their mother is Sasha Rowe. It has to be the same person. Do you remember?” He nods. “Now, the McGinty’s are fostering Callie. Waiting to get the clear to adopt her officially, but she’s already a McGinty.” I say trying to gauge his reaction. Will he want to step in and raise her? I hope he leaves her be. If he could see what I saw that afternoon.
Love Is Forever Blue Page 19