Act Like You Love Me (An Accidentally in Love Novel) (Entangled: Bliss)

by Madsen, Cindi

  Brynn closed her eyes, her skin a deathly sheet of white now.

  Sawyer placed his palms on the table and leaned in. “What the hell is going on? You went to high school with me?”

  Brynn’s eyes met his, a challenge inside of them. “What?” she asked, her voice quivering. “You don’t remember?”

  “No. I mean, I remember seeing that play. Hell, I told you about it.”

  Her eyes shone, tears gathering in the corners. “The play. That’s all you remember, don’t you?”

  He threw his hands up. “Am I supposed to remember more? I didn’t even know that was you until two seconds ago.”

  She closed her eyes and a tear ran down her cheek. Instinctively, he wanted to reach up and brush it away. A few minutes ago, he would’ve. But right now his mind was too busy spinning with the fact that they went to high school together.

  Which meant…she wasn’t from LA.

  Anger wound its way up his body, sending hot bursts of blood through his veins. “What game are you playing here? Why didn’t you tell me before that you knew me?”

  “Why?” She gave a mirthless laugh. “You wanna know why?” She gestured in the direction Dirk had gone. “You think I want to be called McFlasher for the rest of my life? To live my worst moment over and over?”

  Another tear slipped down her cheek. “Or how about the time I asked you to prom back in high school? It took me days to work up the courage to talk to you. And when I asked, you just shook your head and walked away like I wasn’t even worth five minutes of your time. Gee, why would I not want to relive that?”

  A clashing mix of sympathy, bitterness, and confusion was rising through him. “I don’t remember any of that.”

  Brynn clenched her jaw. “Of course you don’t.”

  “Don’t turn this on me. You’re the one who lied. You said you were from LA.”

  She sniffed. “No, you assumed I was from there; I just let you. I didn’t think I’d keep talking to you. Or start dating you.” She lifted her eyes to his again. “Or…fall in love with you.”

  His heart dropped. All the air shot from his lungs.

  The waiter chose that moment to come with the food. He set it on the table. “Sir? Ma’am? Don’t you want to sit down?”

  Brynn settled into her chair; Sawyer remained standing.

  “Anything else I can get for you?” the waiter asked.

  “No thanks,” Sawyer said, harsher than he’d meant to. He turned back to Brynn. “How can you even…? I can’t…” His heart was somewhere near his stomach now, but it felt like it was being ripped in two. How dare she tell him she loved him. Especially after that information bomb she’d dropped. No, she hadn’t even dropped it. Dirk had.

  Sawyer could feel the walls closing in, the suffocating tentacles wrapping around his lungs. “I’m going back to New York. I always told you I was.”

  Pain flickered through her eyes. Or maybe she was just that good of an actress. “That’s what you have to say to me?”

  “I don’t know what to say. I thought I knew you, but I don’t.” He shook his head. “I think maybe this whole thing was a mistake.”

  “Sawyer. Don’t.” Brynn stood so fast her chair rocked back but didn’t quite tip. People were starting to stare and whisper now. She glanced around and then moved next to him. He watched her chest rise and fall. Rise and fall. “Maybe I didn’t tell you the whole truth, but don’t tell me you don’t know me. You’re one of the few people in this world who does.” She reached out a hand and placed it over his heart. “You have to feel something between us. I can’t be the only one who feels like this.”

  She locked eyes with him. “Tell me I’m not.”

  He heaved a sigh. Her hurt expression from earlier flashed before his eyes. He could see how much Dirk’s words had cut her, and yes, he could see why she wouldn’t want to admit something like that. But his walls were back up, and he wasn’t sure he could let them down again.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Sawyer noticed the older gentleman Brynn had been talking to approach the table. “Are you okay, dear?”

  Brynn glanced at him and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m fine. Thanks, Howard.”

  The man narrowed his eyes at Sawyer, then turned back to Brynn. “I’ll check on you when I come into the shop tomorrow.” He either said it loud to let Sawyer know, or he was nearly deaf. This whole scene was turning into a spectacle, and Sawyer was waiting for someone to come kick them out. The man patted Brynn’s shoulder. “Save me your best batch of night crawlers. I’m planning on catching some big fish tomorrow.”

  “Night crawlers?” Sawyer said when they were alone again.

  Brynn bit her lip. “Right. So…I work at Bigfish Bait and Tackle shop. I sort of… Well, my family owns it. My brother and I run it now.”

  “You run a bait and tackle shop? So when we went fishing…?” Irritation rose up in him again. “Damn, Brynn, is anything you told me real?”

  “It’s not a big deal. Just a few minor details that—”

  “Not a big deal?” he asked, stepping back. “You lied to me about everything. What are you trying to do? Get me to stay? You thought I’d move here and then you’d spring the truth on me?”

  “Of course not. I was planning on telling you, I just didn’t know how.”

  She was exactly like Zoey. Manipulative and a liar. “I don’t want to hear it.” He took some bills from his wallet and tossed them on the table. “I’m done.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. The beautiful dishes with their artfully presented food blurred as tears filled Brynn’s eyes. She’d told him she loved him.

  And he walked away.

  A hole opened up in her chest, and warm tears slipped down her cheeks. He was out of my league anyway. She’d spent years telling herself that the people she’d gone to high school with didn’t matter. In a lot of ways, she still felt like that. But Sawyer mattered.

  Every breath was like inhaling glass, every sound too loud. She couldn’t move, but she didn’t want to stay here, surrounded by elegant people, tears running down her face. She didn’t want to think about how awkward the play would be tomorrow—opening night. And the two shows on both Saturday and Sunday. No matter how good an actress she was, she wouldn’t be good enough to not see Sawyer and feel the stab of rejection. He’d discarded her heart, the same way he’d done in high school.

  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I guess I deserve to have my heart ripped out of my chest, stomped on, and put back in all mangled.

  Brynn forced herself to place one foot in front of the other and head toward the exit. She could call a taxi, but she didn’t want to go home, where she’d have to see Sawyer’s house and possibly him. No doubt she’d start thinking about him and end up doing something desperate and/or stupid.

  She pulled out her cell and hit speed dial number one.

  “Hey,” she said when he answered. “I need you to come get me.”

  …

  Sawyer kicked the trashcan on the sidewalk, then swore when pain shot up his toe, into his shin. As soon as he’d left the restaurant, he just started walking, hoping… He didn’t know, that he’d stop feeling so pissed. That he’d get Brynn’s hurt expression out of his head.

  That he’d blink and this would all be a nightmare and he’d still be sitting across from her, talking about how she wrote tragic romances between baking experiments and painting. Or quoting play lines back and forth.

  Thinking about how much he loved her.

  I don’t love her. I love a figment. A character.

  A very beautiful character with pretty eyes and perfect skin and a smile that makes everything seem like it’ll be okay. He kept seeing her face. Laughing. Smiling. Looking at him like he was somebody she needed in her life.

  She’d made him want to stay here.

  He clenched his fists, his insides turning cold and hard. He’d opened up to her about his dad, and she
hadn’t even bothered telling him the truth. He eyed the trashcan, wanting to kick it again. He needed to destroy something.

  Brynn, the girl he’d thought was so different from his ex, ended up trying to trap him, just like Zoey had. He couldn’t let that go. He’d learned the hard way that one lie led to another.

  He remembered the relief he’d felt after breaking up with Zoey the first time. With every crazy message she sent, whether it was the hate-filled rants or the begging to take her back, he’d think, Thank God I got out of that before it was too late.

  But then she’d sent a very different message.

  He could still remember the way his heart had stopped when he read the text.

  I’m pregnant.

  Zoey had told him she was on the pill—he’d asked several times, always willing to use extra protection if needed. The last thing he was ready for was a baby. He’d never wanted to have kids because it meant they’d need the most stable home life possible, and that meant actually committing his life to someone. Zoey wasn’t who he’d had in mind for a wife even if he was going to go that route, but what was he supposed to do? If she was going to have his baby, he couldn’t just leave her.

  So he’d reconciled with her, fighting back bitterness that he was stuck in the situation every single time he’d look at her. He tried to make himself love her—focus on all her good qualities—but he’d felt himself shutting down, living life on miserable autopilot.

  At the premiere of his movie, Zoey was on his arm, looking stunning in a silver dress. To the casual observer, they were the picture-perfect couple, and he plastered on a smile, playing the part. That night, Sawyer started remembering the reasons he’d liked Zoey in the first place. She talked him up, made him feel good about his movie, and she was driven and smart. He decided he needed to accept his life and find a way to enjoy it. For the first time, her pregnancy didn’t seem like a burden instead of a reason to celebrate. He started picturing a son or daughter to carry around. And, eventually, watch movies with, the way he’d done with his dad.

  Then the after party came, and he noticed Zoey was downing champagne. Some of the actors and crewmembers from her new television series were there, too, and they were surrounding her, drinking and laughing. When Sawyer tried to subtly tell her to cool it with the alcohol, she laughed and grabbed another drink. When he blurted out that it wasn’t good for the baby, her coworkers’ mouths had dropped.

  Her producer and agent were there, and when they’d erupted in questions about how this was going to work with her TV shooting schedule, she finally confessed that she wasn’t pregnant. Had never been pregnant.

  Sawyer saw red that night. It was all he could do not to tell her right then and there in front of everyone what a manipulative bitch she was.

  While she packed her belongings, she cried and begged him to give her another shot, but there was no way he could be with someone who’d tried to trick him into being with her.

  …

  Paul eyed Brynn as she got into the car. “I said to be yourself, not dress like a hooker.”

  Brynn blinked at the tears, but they started pouring all over again. She was sure her mascara had relocated to her cheeks.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. That was supposed to be a joke.” He patted her on the shoulder. “Whose ass do I need to kick?”

  Brynn leaned her head back. “It was my fault. All the lies finally caught up to me. And now that Sawyer knows who I really am, he doesn’t want me.”

  “Yeah, I think I need to have a chat with him.” Paul cracked his knuckles.

  “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters now.”

  “Good to see you haven’t lost your flair for the dramatic.” Paul merged into traffic. She thought he’d flip around at the light, but he didn’t.

  “Hello? Your house is in the other direction.”

  “We’re going to Mom and Dad’s. I left Carly there to come pick you up. I was going to bring her, but you sounded…rough.” He slowed for a light and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “You’ll feel better once we get home.”

  “No, I won’t. Mom will want to know the details, then she’ll give me tips on dating. Possibly suggest a boring, balding guy she could set me up with.” Brynn flopped forward and shoved her fingers into her hair. “This is why you don’t sleep with the director. Not that I even got to sleep with him, which is just so unfair.”

  “Okay, my ears are bleeding now,” Paul said.

  “You don’t understand. He hates me, and I’ve got to go be in a play for five shows where he’s inescapable. It’s going to be awkward and horrible, with a side of someone shoot me now.” The raw achy feeling in her chest grew even bigger. “I love him.”

  Paul drove the car into Mom and Dad’s driveway and sighed. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “Thanks.” Brynn flipped the visor and cleaned herself up the best she could. Her eyes were a little red and her makeup was smeary, but it’d have to do.

  When she got inside, Carly actually hugged her—so that was what it felt like to be on the other side of an attack hug. “Are you okay?” She looked Brynn up and down. “Wow, great dress. And your hair…” She lifted a couple strands and let it drop. “Whoever the guy is, he’s an idiot.”

  “He’s going to be a dead idiot soon,” Paul said, wrapping his arm around Carly.

  Carly smiled at him. “I admire you for taking care of your sister, but right now, I’m guessing she needs a lot of chocolate, possibly a chick flick—or are you more of a watch-action-or-horror-movies-when-you-have-a-bad-breakup girl?”

  “I go for the masochistic, watch romance movies and cry my eyes out while yelling, ‘Why can’t I find love?’”

  Carly laughed. “A girl after my own heart.”

  For the first time, Brynn saw Carly for who she really was. A beautiful, genuinely nice person who cared about Paul. They’d been on the opposite end of the spectrum in high school, but maybe that was as much Brynn’s fault as Carly’s. And none of that mattered anymore.

  “Girls are weird.” Paul kissed Carly’s cheek and sighed. “I’ll leave you two to find the torturous movie. I’ll go see how much chocolate I can dig up.”

  Brynn walked into the living room and scanned the shelf of DVDs. “Hey, do you remember Dirk Markham?”

  Carly wrinkled her nose. “You mean Dirk the Jerk?”

  Brynn smiled, though it felt out of place on her face right now. “Yeah. He’s still a jerk.”

  “Is that who you were out with tonight?”

  “No! I would never… Just no.” Brynn looked at Carly’s raised eyebrows and sympathetic expression and thought, Well, it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose now that Sawyer hates me. “Remember how I asked you about Sawyer Raines?”

  Brynn let loose the mortifying confession, starting with way back in high school, to his showing up at the theater, to the blowup tonight. “So, I’m sure this is super weird for you now, huh?”

  Carly patted her hand. “That was such a long time ago. And I’m serious about wishing I knew you better back then—I’m sorry high school sucked so much for you. As for Sawyer… I don’t know what I can say except that I’m sorry. And that he won’t ever find anyone better than you. Like, ever, so it’s totally his loss.”

  It still felt like an elephant was standing on her chest, but confessing to Carly had actually lightened the pressure. Brynn might even be the one to initiate the next tackle hug.

  Another thing had happened during her confession, as well. She felt like she was finally ready to fully let go of the bitterness she’d held onto over the years. There’d always be guys like Dirk, who only had the glory days of high school, which was sad when she thought about it. Maybe he’d changed, maybe he even had good qualities now, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter. Her old nickname, all her misguided attempts to be cool—even her crush on Sawyer—had formed who she was now. And she liked who she was, even if she’d had to get there the hard way.

  She only wi
shed she’d figured that out before she’d screwed up everything with Sawyer.

  Mom came down the stairs. “Brynn! I didn’t know you were here.” She hugged her, then studied her, the lines in her forehead deepening. “You look different. And sad. Are you okay?”

  Paul came in armed with cookies and a bag of Peanut M&M’s. Dad was beside him, a bottle of wine in one hand and a stack of plastic cups in the other. “I hear we’re watching a sappy girl movie,” he said.

  Mom took Brynn’s hand in hers, bringing her attention back to her. The question she’d asked still hung in the air unanswered.

  Later, Brynn wasn’t going to be okay. Right now, she wasn’t really either—her heart ached deep down, the kind of throbbing, constant pain that was there to stay. But surrounded by her family and a girl she might just call sister one day, she thought she could maybe get through tonight.

  “I’m okay,” she lied.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Brynn doubled over, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, sure she was going to puke. She was always nervous opening night, but it’d never been this bad. Her insides were revolting, turning on her at the worst possible time. Everyone else was running around, frantic energy in the air. Usually, she’d take in the excitement and let it wash over her. Tonight, it just wasn’t enough.

  The theater was packed, the buzz of the audience’s conversations drifting backstage.

  In a lot of ways, though, it felt like only one person was in the place. The guy who hadn’t spoken to her and looked away every time she tried to make eye contact. A sharp pain shot through her chest. Last week, every glance, every smile, made her heart soar; today she ached for everything she’d lost.

  There was so much to tell him, but no time.

  “Brynn, honey, what are you doing?” Wendy approached and tugged on Brynn’s dress, smoothing it down in places and fluffing it up in others.

  Brynn glanced at Sawyer, who was talking to Leo while gesturing toward the stage. Another stab pierced her heart.