Love Inspired December 2013 - Bundle 2 of 2: Cozy ChristmasHer Holiday HeroJingle Bell Romance

by Valerie Hansen

  “Josh has several more boys who want to come to your class.”

  “Yeah, he told me yesterday at church. I’ll have to think about it.”

  “It appears others are stepping forward to complain at school about Liam and Sean.”

  “If the majority won’t accept bullying, it can’t prevail. A few bullies against many in the end won’t succeed.”

  Emma pulled into a parking space near city hall and the park. Because of Jake, her son wasn’t as angry as before. He was smiling and laughing, not complaining about going to school. “Sandy and I have a mom’s group organized and we’re working with the school on an anti-bully program. After Thanksgiving they’re going to have a ‘Stand Up Against Bullies’ day.”

  Jake stared out the windshield at the platform erected for the ceremony.

  “Ready?”

  “No. I’d like to sit here for a while. Okay?”

  “Of course.” She took his hand and held it, feeling his slight tremor. “I’m ready when you are. Use the relaxation techniques Abbey showed you. Keep Shep next to you. And remember you aren’t alone. I’m here to support you. The Lord is with you.”

  More people began to arrive. The day was beautiful, the sky clear and the temperature in the low fifties. Slowly, the quiver she’d felt in him melted away, and he turned toward her.

  “Why don’t you go ahead and grab those seats you need? I’ll be along in a few minutes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Very.”

  Emma climbed from her car, part of her wanting to stay whether he agreed or not. But ultimately Jake would have to learn to handle his PTSD when it flared up. After crossing the street, she glanced back at him. With his eyes closed, he sat perfectly still. Was he praying? After going to church with her and Josh yesterday, he’d told her he would like to attend again.

  God, he’s in Your hands.

  *

  Shep, wearing his service dog vest, walked next to Jake, who took a seat on stage, scanning the large crowd. As promised, Emma sat in the front row with the four boys he worked with and her friends. He stroked the top of his dog’s head while taking in fortifying breaths and visualizing himself on that beach with the calming sounds of the waves.

  He’d asked to be on the program first when he had agreed. An older man slipped in behind Emma and tapped her on the shoulder. She threw her arms around him. Then Jake spied Ben coming up the aisle and sitting next to the person Emma had greeted. That must be her father. She mentioned once that Ben hoped to come to the ceremony but then hadn’t said anything else. He nodded once at Ben as the high school band played “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Along with Jake, everyone stood.

  The mayor approached the podium to lead the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance. When the audience retook their seats, the mayor said a few words about honoring the veterans who helped preserve the citizens’ freedoms. “It is my great pleasure to have a two-star general here to give our very own hero the Distinguished Medal of Honor. Please welcome General Tanner, former Captain Jake Tanner’s father, to present the award to his son.”

  Jake heard the words, their sound growing further away the more the mayor spoke. His heartbeat pulsated against his rib cage, increasing its thumping when he glimpsed his dad climbing the stairs to the platform. He should have known his father wouldn’t honor the wishes he’d made very clear a few days ago.

  As his dad joined the mayor at the podium, the world around Jake faded, noise assailing his ears but with no meaning. Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead. Shep moved closer, nosing his hand. Jake went through the calming techniques Abbey had shown him, his focus on Emma. He didn’t want to have a problem in front of Josh and the other boys.

  Emma smiled and rose, clapping. It took a few seconds for it to register that he was supposed to go up to the podium. He pushed to his feet, his gaze trained on Emma, his hand clutching Shep’s leash. Slowly, he moved toward his father, the sound of the applause echoing through his head.

  When he swung his attention to the general, his vision narrowed into a laser point. He watched his dad speak but didn’t hear the words. Stopping at the general’s side, Jake stood at attention while his father pinned the medal on him.

  The short speech he’d written fled his mind as the crowd cheered.

  “Don’t you have some words to say?” his father whispered through the haze that surrounded Jake.

  Jake swallowed twice then leaned toward the mike. “I’m accepting this Distinguished Service Medal in the name of the men who served under me in the Night Hawk Company.” His throat swelled, cutting off any other words. He stepped back, saluted his father, then did an about-face and walked to his chair.

  It took all his willpower not to keep going until he’d left the platform. Instead, he sank onto his seat. Shep placed his head in Jake’s lap, and he scratched his German shepherd behind his ears, the action soothing his taut nerves.

  He hadn’t fallen apart—even with his father here at the ceremony. Even with the park full of people—most strangers.

  The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur with Jake keeping Emma in his line of vision. She anchored him. She believed in him. He didn’t want to let her down or make a fool of himself. But he wouldn’t appear on stage before a crowd again anytime soon.

  When the throng dissipated, Josh flew toward his end of the platform with the other three boys following. Emma hurried after them.

  “Can I see it? Can I see it?” Josh and his friends crowded Jake, cutting off his view of Emma.

  Carson cocked his head. “What’s that in the middle of the circle?”

  “The United States Coat of Arms. That’s a bald eagle,” Jake said, pointing at it. “And it’s clutching thirteen arrows for the original thirteen states in one talon and in the other an olive branch.”

  Josh’s forehead creased. “War and peace?”

  “Yes,” Emma said, putting her hand on his shoulder and moving him back to give Jake more breathing space.

  “Cool.” Zach’s eyes grew round. “And you got this.”

  “Not just me. All the men in the company.”

  “Are they going to get a medal like this?” Craig asked.

  “No, I’m keeping it safe for them.” Jake looked at Emma. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “I’ve got a spread set up at my house to celebrate Veterans Day. Ben and Dad are heading over there and getting the food out on the table.”

  When Jake saw his father disengage from a reporter and the mayor, he took Emma’s elbow, moving toward the stairs. Leaning toward her, he whispered, “Who else?”

  “The kids, Sandy, Abbey and Dominic. If that’s too many, I can make some excuse.”

  “No, I’m used to them.”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “Should I say anything to your father?”

  “No. If I know my dad, he’ll be waiting for me at my house.”

  “Outside?” Tiny lines puckered her brow.

  “No, he has a key. The house belongs to both of us.” Maybe he’d outwait his father if he stayed at Emma’s.

  When he heard his name being called, he hurried his pace, causing his leg to ache. But he couldn’t deal with the general after the ceremony. He could do only so much and keep it together. If he had his preference, he’d go home and lock the world out.

  “Mom, I’m coming with you. Carson’s mother will bring the other kids.” Josh fell into step beside Jake.

  “Uncle Ben told me that medal you got is a big deal.”

  Jake remained quiet, not sure what to say to Josh. The medal declared to the world that he performed heroically, but he didn’t feel like a hero. He felt like a man barely holding his life together and beginning to care about someone he shouldn’t.

  At Emma’s house, Jake hugged Ben and clapped him on the back. “It was good to see you today. Are you staying for a while?”

  “Dad and I are driving back in a couple of hours. I got today off but not tomorrow.” Ben smiled. “We’ll be back fo
r Thanksgiving. You haven’t had a holiday meal until you’ve been to Emma’s.”

  “She’s had me to dinner a few times, so I know what a great cook she is.”

  Ben edged him away from the doorway as others began to arrive. “How’s it going? It looked like Shep was helping.”

  “Was I that obvious?”

  “I know the signs. Remember I’ve felt all of the symptoms.” Ben moved into the dining room. “I don’t know about you but I’m hungry. Hey, I thought General Hatchback was giving you the medal.”

  “He was.”

  “It was nice seeing your father give it to you. I can imagine how proud he is. Is your dad coming to the party?”

  “No, but I’m sure I’ll see him later.”

  Ben assessed his expression. “You’re not on good terms with your dad?”

  “No. He doesn’t see why I left the military.”

  Ben blinked, his eyes wide. “He wanted you to stay in with a bum leg?”

  “When I was hurt, his dream of my following in his footsteps vanished. Now he has a crippled son who would rather stay in his house.”

  “He said that to you?”

  “Not exactly, but I know him. He’d go to work even when he was ill. He once said to Mom pain is part of a soldier’s life. It comes with the job. He never had patience for anyone who got sick.”

  Ben shook his head. “Hey, man. I’m sorry. You’re one of the toughest men I know.”

  Emma appeared in the dining room. “I figured I would find my brother hanging around the food.”

  “That’s because I’m starved.” Ben grabbed a paper plate and began piling seven-layer dip on it followed by tortilla chips.

  Emma enclosed her hand around Jake’s. “I want you to meet my dad. Okay?”

  “I’d love to,” Jake said, realizing he looked forward to being introduced to Emma’s father. He’d been stationed so much of his time in war zones the past few years that he’d forgotten what it was like to live a “normal” life.

  *

  As Jake neared his house, his body tensed more with each step. Maybe his dad had had to go back to Florida immediately. But when he came in view of his place, his stomach plummeted. An unfamiliar car sat in his driveway. As he approached the porch stairs, his pace slowed.

  He wasn’t ready to face the general. Taking a seat on the top step, he petted Shep and stared at the park across the street. He’d enjoyed the surprise celebration at Emma’s. Even with his dad’s appearance at the ceremony, he’d dealt with the day’s activities well. When he’d talked with Abbey at the party, she’d been pleased. Although he had not been in the midst of the crowd in the downtown park, but up on the platform, he’d been able to handle so many people in one place. And he didn’t flash back once to that time in the packed marketplace in Afghanistan’s capital when a bomb exploded, killing and hurting a lot of innocent people. Then not three days later, his company left for the mountains.

  At the sound of the front door opening, Jake shuddered. As much as he’d prefer to stay outside in the crisp evening air, he didn’t want to have a conversation with the general that the whole neighborhood might overhear. Weary, he pushed to his feet, using the railing to steady himself.

  The dreaded words came out of his dad’s mouth: “We need to talk.”

  With a sigh, Jake pivoted and made his way into his house.

  “Where have you been? You can’t avoid me forever.”

  Jake stopped in the entrance into the living room and faced the general. “A friend threw me a surprise party.” When his dad flinched, he continued. “I didn’t know about it until we were driving away from the ceremony.”

  One of his father’s thick eyebrows arched. “And you didn’t think I’d be here? I didn’t come all this way just to give you a medal.”

  Jake cringed at the barb. “Since the last time I talked to you I asked you not to come, I didn’t anticipate your being at the ceremony.”

  “That’s one of the reasons we need to talk. Why didn’t you want me at the ceremony?”

  As much as he wished he didn’t have to, Jake limped toward the couch and sank down. All his life he’d tried never to show any kind of weakness in front of the general.

  “I see your leg is healing nicely. You’re not using your cane.” Dressed in his uniform, his father remained in the doorway into the living room, his hands clasped behind his back. He looked every bit a two-star general in the U.S. Army—tough, distinguished, unrelenting.

  “I’ve been using it less over the past few weeks.”

  “I see you have a dog.”

  “Yes, a service dog. Shep.”

  “Why do you need a service dog if your leg is getting better?” His father finally traversed the distance between them and took the chair across from Jake.

  For a long moment he couldn’t say anything to the general. He could still remember when he’d been harassed by that bully in sixth grade. No sympathy or understanding came from his father. Instead, his father worked with him every spare moment, building his muscles and teaching him to fight and protect himself. If his dad could have added inches to Jake’s height, he would have done that, too.

  “You’re not one of those soldiers who thinks having a dog will make everything better?”

  Anger flashed through Jake. His willpower stretched to its limit, he remained seated when all he wanted to do was leave. He raised his chin. “Yes. I am, sir.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because I’ve seen it work for myself and a soldier in my company. It’s not the only thing I’m doing to deal with my trauma, but it is one that I will continue. If it hadn’t been for Shep, I doubt I would have stayed at the ceremony when I saw you coming up onto the platform.”

  The general scowled but behind that expression Jake saw something else—susceptibility to being hurt by another—him. “How did we get to this place?”

  Jake ground his teeth, waiting before he answered. “You wanted to make all my decisions. I’m thirty and perfectly capable of deciding what’s best. I can’t fulfill your dream for me because it isn’t mine.”

  “All I’ve wanted is for you to succeed.”

  “Yes, in the army. I used to think that was what I wanted, but for the past couple of years I’ve been dissatisfied. I didn’t know how to approach you about it. Now it’s a moot point because I’ll always have some problems with my leg when I overextend myself. A soldier needs to be at the top of his game. I’ve accepted I can’t be.”

  “With that dog by your side, I’m guessing you think you have PTSD. You don’t need a service dog for your leg injury.”

  Is that contempt in his words? Jake couldn’t tell for sure. “When you’ve walked in my shoes, then you have a right to say what you think of PTSD. But I don’t think I have it—I know I have it.”

  His father’s mouth dropped open, his eyes wide.

  “I’ve heard you say before you think it’s just an excuse a lot of people use. It isn’t.” Jake rose before he said more. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

  “But it’s only nine.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact I’m tired, sir.”

  “I have an early flight in the morning.”

  “Then goodbye. Have a safe trip,” Jake said in a monotone, needing the space between him and his father. Nothing would ever make a difference. He had to face it. He wasn’t the son his dad wanted.

  After removing his coat and shoes, Jake collapsed onto his bed, exhaustion filling every part of him. Without changing out of his uniform pants and shirt, he stretched out to relax a while…

  Through the haze of gunfire, Jake spied the young boy crying, no more than four or five, coming toward him. All he could think about was the child getting killed. He rushed toward him, scooped him into his arms and hurried back to the hut he’d been using as a shelter. After he put the boy on the floor, Jake returned to the window and scouted his surroundings. With a quick glance back to check if the boy was all right,
he saw the child playing with a grenade.

  Jake screamed, “No! Put that down!”

  In slow motion the child pulled the pin.

  Nooo!

  Mixed in with the sounds of the explosion were—barks?

  Something scraped across his cheek. He twisted then rolled away. Suddenly he fell, hitting something hard.

  His eyes bolted open as his door slammed against the wall.

  Next to him Shep continued to bark while his father charged into Jake’s bedroom, fear carved into his features.

  “Son, are you all right?”

  Jake ached from landing on his left side. Crashing against the hardwood floor sent a shaft of pain up his leg. But that didn’t dominate his thoughts. He couldn’t shake the picture in his mind of the little boy playing with the grenade.

  “Where did it come from? The child didn’t have it on him. I would have felt it.”

  “Jake!” his dad shouted, kneeling next to him, grasping his arms. “What are you talking about?”

  His heart racing, Jake inhaled then exhaled, the room spinning. The words describing his nightmare came out haltingly, but somehow he got to the end or at least the part he remembered.

  “It didn’t happen exactly like that.”

  “How do you know? You weren’t there.”

  “You forget the camera on your helmet. I viewed all the footage of what was recovered from the ambush. You were wounded but giving one of your men cover as he darted toward the hut, carrying a young crying boy. When your sergeant put the child down in the hut and took his place at the other window, he left his backpack on the floor. You turned, saw the boy with the grenade and as he pulled the pin, you dived for him, grabbed the grenade and threw it out the window. It exploded a few seconds later. The aftershocks knocked you back and that was when you blacked out.”

  “There was a child? He didn’t die?”

  “No.”

  Relieved, Jake sagged back against his bed frame, holding on to Shep.

  His dad sat next to him, and he felt the general’s stare as he patted Shep. The feel of the dog’s fur as he ran his fingers through it soothed something deep inside Jake, grounding him in the here and now—not the past.