Emma watched Josh take a swing at the ball and miss. The next one, though, he hit and it sailed through the air. Her son ran to first base then kept going while Sandy scooped up the ball and threw it to Emma’s mom. Nancy bobbled her catch, and Josh raced past her for home plate. Emma and everyone cheered him on. When Josh reached it, he pumped his arm in the air and beamed as though he were playing in the major league and had won the game for his team.
Jake limped toward Josh and gave him a high five. “That’s the way to hit the ball. You’re a fast learner.”
“Josh needs a good man in his life,” Emma said as Craig stepped up to bat.
“Jake is that, even with what he’s going through,” Marcella said.
“I agree.” In that moment as Jake stood again on the pitcher mound, Emma knew she loved him. She hadn’t wanted to fall in love, not after Sam. But in spite of the guilt she felt for her husband’s death, she had.
“Are you going to the Christmas tree lighting next weekend at the park downtown?”
“Yes, do you want to go with us?” Emma asked, remembering that Marcella drove only during the daylight hours.
She winked at Emma. “I thought you would never ask.”
“You know you’re always welcome.”
“I didn’t know if you had a date or not.”
“A date? With my son?”
“No. With Jake. I know last year your son went with Craig’s family so I thought this would be a great opportunity for you and Jake to go out.”
“I haven’t even said anything to Jake about the Christmas tree lighting. It’s gotten awfully big in the past several years.” She wasn’t sure Jake would like it, but after how things had been going in the past couple of weeks, maybe he would.
“Ask him, and if you want to make it a twosome, just let me know. I can catch a ride with another neighbor.”
Emma combed her fingers through her hair. “I will say something to him but you’re going with us.”
“I’ve already got my presents bought and wrapped. How about you?”
“Not totally. I’m not that organized.” Since her money was limited, it wouldn’t take long to finish her short list. The fall had flown by and before long it would be winter—and the possibility of snow and ice. “I love Christmas, but I could do without the cold temperatures.”
“Me and these old bones feel the same way.”
Emma turned her attention again to the game. She scanned the baseball field and caught a glimpse of Sean, standing next to one of the dugouts watching them play. Even from a distance she could see a look of yearning on his face. The expression made her wonder what was going on with the boy lately. Josh hadn’t said much to her about him. She hoped he wasn’t here to make trouble or waiting for Liam and his buddies to come. Then Emma remembered all the adults surrounding her son, keeping him safe.
Josh made it to second base before he was tagged out. Jogging back toward home plate, her son passed close to Jake who said something to Josh. He swung around, saw Sean and detoured toward him. Emma tensed and began to make her way toward the pair. She couldn’t see her son’s face but surprise flitted across Sean’s. Then the older boy nodded and disappeared behind the dugout. A few seconds later he came into view and out onto the field.
Jake stopped his windup and kept an eye on Josh and Sean as they walked to where the boys were waiting for their turn at bat. Jake headed toward the group at the same time Emma did, still holding the leashes for Butch and Shep.
As she approached, Jake said, “As long as you agree to play by the rules, we’d love to have you join us. Wouldn’t we?”
Sean looked in each boy’s eyes as he nodded, then said, “Yes, sir.”
Emma’s throat filled with emotion as the boys played for another half hour, including Sean as a friend would. Jake was worth fighting for. He was teaching her son the right way to handle problems.
*
The soft sounds of “What Child Is This” played in the background while Jake, seated near the eight-foot pine, handed Emma and Josh Christmas ornaments. His leg ached from pitching at the baseball game earlier then helping Ben string the lights on the artificial tree. But he didn’t mind the dull pain. Today was worth it.
Emma glanced back at him. “Do you see any spots that need more decorations?”
“Are you kidding? I can’t see the tree now,” Jake said with a chuckle, the song ending and “Joy to the World” starting.
“It’s there, under memories of my past.” Emma held up a cutout from an egg carton transformed into a bell with glitter, paint and a pipe cleaner used as a hook. “Josh made this when he was three. I have a set of six.”
They were all prominently displayed, Jake noted as his gaze went from one to the other. “Well spaced on the tree.”
She gave him a narrow-eyed look. “Are you making fun of me?”
He held up his hands, shaking his head. “No way. I know better.”
Stretched out by the chair, Shep looked up at Jake then settled back with his head resting on his front paws.
Josh giggled. “Mom never throws away an ornament until it totally falls apart or smashes. Didn’t you notice Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Ben left before she brought out the rest of the balls to put on the tree?”
Emma put her hand on her waist. “Hold it right there, you two. I warned you I had a lot. Besides, my parents and brother had to get back to Tulsa. Ben has to work tomorrow.” The teasing gleam in her eyes brightened then, the sparkle competing with the lights on the tree.
Her look transfixed Jake. “About those extra boxes. I thought you told me your decorations were all out in the garage. Where did these five come from?”
“These are my special ones.”
“Yeah, mostly made by me or ones from her childhood.” Josh took an ornament from Jake and loaded a branch with another ball.
“Time for a break,” Marcella said, carrying in a tray with mugs of hot chocolate.
Emma took it from her and placed it on the coffee table. “We only have a couple more, then we’re finished.”
Jake struggled to his feet, ignoring the ache in his leg, and hung two of the last five ornaments while Josh put the others on the pine. “Done. Your timing, Marcella, is perfect.” He limped toward the couch and sank onto the cushion at one end, Shep settling at his feet.
“But we still have the garland to put up.” Emma opened the last box over in the corner and showed the group the shiny red strings.
“That will cover up your beautiful ornaments.” Jake reached for a mug of hot chocolate, steam wafting from it.
Emma stood back from the tree and cocked her head. “You’re right. Except for this one.” She pulled out a length of homemade red-and-green paper rings. “Josh made this in first grade.”
The child’s cheeks turned a rosy tint. “Mom, do you hafta put that up?”
Emma studied the pine again then scanned the room. “No. You are right. The tree has enough, but—” she headed to the mantel and hung the paper garland along its edge “—this will be a nice addition here where it won’t get lost among the ornaments.”
Josh looked at Jake. “I’ll never make another decoration again.”
Jake laughed and handed the boy a mug, then raised his. “That’s moms for you.”
“Yeah, but mine goes overboard.”
“I hear you, Josh.” Emma finally took a seat at the other end of the couch and grabbed her drink.
Marcella leaned back in her chair across from Jake and sipped her hot chocolate. “I want to thank you, Emma, for inviting me to share your Thanksgiving dinner and meet your family. This was a treat.”
“I second that.” Jake lifted his mug again and tapped it against Emma’s then Josh’s and Marcella’s. “This was a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I’m looking forward to Christmas for the first time in years.” As he said those words, he realized the holidays hadn’t meant much to him in the past but Emma’s enthusiasm was contagious.
Emma rose and bowed. �
��I’ve done my job. I’ve spread my joy of the Christmas season to others. Finish your drink and then all we have to do is put away the empty boxes.”
Jake groaned along with Josh and Marcella. When Emma gave each one of them a mockingly stunned look, Jake laughed. Josh joined him, followed by Marcella and Emma. Both Shep and Buttons began barking.
“You’re a hard taskmaster, but since I helped make the mess, I’ll help clean it up.” Jake turned to Josh. “You game?”
The boy nodded.
Thirty minutes later with Shep by his side, Jake stood in the entrance to the living room, surveying his work. With all the lamps turned off, the tree dominated the area, the hundreds of lights shining. Emma came up behind him and touched his arm as she moved beside him. Her lavender scent vied with the pine aroma from a lit candle on the mantel.
She glanced toward him and took his hand. “Thanks for going along with me today.”
“That was easy to do. It was fun.” I almost felt normal today. But one good day didn’t mean everything would be all right tomorrow or the following ones. He would cherish, though, the time spent today with Emma and her family.
*
Clear lights were strung everywhere—in the trees and on the bushes—in the downtown park across from the city hall. As Jake, with Shep by his side, strolled with Emma toward where the Christmas-tree ceremony would take place, he slipped his arm around her, their steps slowing. Marcella and Josh hurried ahead of the couple, wanting to find a good spot from which to watch. One of the town’s celebrities—a pro baseball player—was throwing the switch to light the fifteen-foot pine. Josh wanted to get his autograph afterward.
Coming to a stop, Emma looked up at Jake. “This looks like a fairyland. I always love walking through here at this time of year. It’s even prettier when it has snowed.”
“I don’t remember this ceremony being as festive and big when I was here at Christmas as a child.”
“It’s grown each year. Afterward, all the stores and restaurants stay open late and people linger downtown. I was hoping we could. I need to do some Christmas shopping. After the ceremony, Josh is going home with Craig to spend the night.”
“How about Marcella?”
“When she heard about Josh, she told me she was grabbing a ride home with a neighbor. They were meeting at the café across the street for some dessert.”
Laughter welled up in him. He clasped Emma against him. “That means we have the evening to ourselves. Interesting how those two maneuvered that.”
“You think? I don’t think it crossed Josh’s mind, but Marcella, yes, she could have. Are we still on for decorating a tree at your house tomorrow?”
“Just because you put yours up Thanksgiving night, doesn’t mean I have to have one.”
“Yes, it does. When I look at mine, I think of all the past Christmases. The ornaments from friends and family bring back fond memories, but they also make me realize why we celebrate Christmas. With Christ’s birth, the world changed forever. He gives me hope. Sometimes I need that reminder.”
He did more than ever. Somewhere along the way Jake had lost hope. God and Emma were teaching him how to find it again. “Put that way, how can I refuse?”
“You can’t. Besides, all those ornaments your grandma kept will be put to good use.”
He brushed his hand through her hair, loving the feel of it sliding through his fingers. “Thanks for helping me to get them down from the attic. It’s still hard for me to climb all those steps to the third floor, and with the amount she had I would have had to do it several times.”
She smiled, her eyes sparkling like the lights all around them. “Anytime.”
As people headed for the ceremony, they skirted around Jake and Emma on the path. He pulled her off the trail to allow everyone to pass and for a little privacy. He wasn’t in any hurry to be with a crowd.
“You’re beautiful, Emma, inside and out.”
“You ain’t too bad to look at yourself! But I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done to help Josh. Since Thanksgiving and the baseball game, Josh told me Sean has talked to him at school as a friend. Sean doesn’t seem to be involved with Liam much anymore.”
“Liam has a lot of anger inside him. I hope he gets the help he needs.”
“See what I mean. You’re a fine man.”
He smiled, slowly lowering his head toward hers. The few kisses they’d shared only left him wanting more, and with his better outlook lately, maybe they had a chance for being more than just friends.
“I know we need to get to the ceremony before Josh comes looking for us, but I can’t resist…” He whispered the words over her parted lips and bridged the gap.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The sound of gunfire sent him in motion. He was suddenly back in the mountain village. He dived for the ground and cover, taking Emma with him, shielding her as best as he could.
Chapter Thirteen
As Emma lay plastered against the cold ground, Jake’s body over hers, she felt him shaking, his heartbeat hammering against his chest.
The popping sound of the firecrackers resonated through the chilly air, the noise similar to rapid gunfire. She wiggled out from under a paralyzed Jake, frozen in probably a flashback, sweat drenching his face.
As she freed herself, she noticed a crowd forming around them, Josh’s eyes huge, fear on his face. “Please get back,” she said to the people, then turned toward Jake, Shep nudging him and barking.
In her calmest voice, Emma said, “Jake. Jake. You’re in Cimarron City at the park. Those were firecrackers going off. Probably some kids.”
He stared at her, but she didn’t think he was really seeing her. Her concern mounted, especially with the crowd still pressing close.
She stood, gesturing with her hands to move back.
Someone said, “Should I call 911?”
“No, that’s not necessary.” That was the last thing Jake would want.
An older man plowed through the people. “I’m a doctor. Can I help? Is he having a seizure?”
“No, a panic attack,” Emma said as quietly as she could but several people heard her, including her son. Josh’s face went pale.
When the onlookers began to disperse, Josh stepped back but didn’t leave.
Emma went back to Jake, not touching him but near if he needed her. “Let’s breathe deeply on my count. Inhale one, two. Exhale one, two.” She continued until she reached the count of four.
Jake’s stiff body began to relax. His awareness of his surroundings came back, and he scanned the area. His gaze latched on to Josh, then Marcella, who came up behind him.
“Shep’s here to help,” Emma said to pull his attention from Josh. “Everything’s all right.”
“What was that sound?” Jake finally asked.
“Firecrackers.” When he seemed calm, no longer shaking or sweating, she asked, “Do you want to go to the ceremony?”
His eyes widened. “No. Home.”
“Fine. Let me tell Josh and Marcella.” As she approached them, Jake struggled to his feet, still stroking the top of Shep’s head.
“What happened, Mom? What’s a panic attack?”
Emma glanced at Jake to make sure he hadn’t heard her son. “He thought the firecrackers were a gun going off.”
“He’s like Uncle Ben?”
“Yes, hon. Marcella, will you make sure Josh connects with Craig and his parents?”
“I will. Come on, Josh. We don’t want to miss the ceremony and your chance to get an autograph.”
The boy peered back as he walked away, his brow knitted, uncertainty making him hesitate.
“See you tomorrow at church, hon.”
“He knows about me?” His voice bleak, Jake stood right behind her.
“Yes. Let’s go.”
“I want you to drop me off and then you can come back here. I know you wanted to do some shopping. I don’t want this to stop you.”
She didn’t answer. She decided to
give him some time and distance from the incident. But she wasn’t dropping him off and leaving him alone. She loved him and wanted to be near if he needed help.
*
At his house, a familiar environment where firecrackers wouldn’t send him into a panic, thinking he was back in Afghanistan being shot at, Jake finally released the last bit of tension gripping him. He turned in the foyer and spread his arms wide. “See. I’m fine. You can leave now.”
“No, I’d rather stay with you.”
“But I don’t want you to.”
Hurt darkened Emma’s blue eyes, and her shoulders sagged slightly. “Because of what happened at the park? I’ve seen panic attacks. What happened to you is nothing new. You had one. It’s over. Move on.”
Her tough, matter-of-fact words hit him as though she’d slapped him. “I tackled you to the ground. Aren’t you just a little embarrassed?”
“If that had been a real gun going off, you could have saved my life. You reacted to a noise that was similar. You have been trained to react quickly. Firecrackers aren’t supposed to go off in the city limits so it was an unexpected sound.”
“Quit trying to rationalize something that isn’t rational.”
“Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself. You’re improving, but that won’t happen overnight. Ben still has some problems. Acknowledge the panic attacks, deal with them then let them go. Don’t let them rule your life.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You haven’t dealt with panic attacks.”
“No, but I lived with a husband who had epilepsy for most of our marriage. His seizures would happen unexpectedly, and we had to deal with them. We knew what to do, what not to do…” Her voice disappeared as she gulped.
There was that look she got when talking about her husband. Regrets she’d married a person with epilepsy—deeply flawed the way he was? A seizure led to his death. “What aren’t you telling me? Every time we start to talk about your husband, you put a distance between us. I’ve told you about my relationship with my father, about my panic attacks.”
She averted her gaze, staring into the living room. Her teeth bit into her lower lip. Her hands balled. “My husband died because of me.”
Love Inspired December 2013 - Bundle 2 of 2: Cozy ChristmasHer Holiday HeroJingle Bell Romance Page 37