Random Meeting

by Maggie Mundy

  “How are you holding together, mate?” Des asked.

  Silence. Greg didn’t know what to say.

  “This is fucking stupid, Des, I want the kid, but the staff all think I’m playing happy families. I should just book a flight and be gone in the morning. You can tell Beth I had some emergency.” Someone near Greg was smoking. Greg hadn’t had a cigarette in years and yet at this moment, he could do with one.

  “I would do that for you, but you’d kill me if I said it meant you could never see Josh again. For fuck’s sake, Greg, he’s your kid. You leave now, she ain’t ever going to want you back near him.”

  “Come and pick me up in half an hour. Tomorrow, Beth will be back at work in the day and then I’ll come home at night so it won’t be so bad.”

  “You know you’re going to have to tell her eventually,” Des said.

  “Yeah, and then it will be, ‘Get lost, Greg, and make sure you stay away and never come back near your kid again’. I’ll see you soon, Des.”

  ****

  Two days later, Josh was improving enough to put him on the kids’ ward, out of ICU. Yet again, all the nurses assumed they were together, because he would be there all day and Beth in the evening. One comment from a nurse called Carrie hit home for Greg.

  “It’s nice to see a dad coming in and spending so much time with his child. Have you two been together long?” she asked as she cuddled Josh.

  “We aren’t together. I just help out with looking after my kid.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” she said as she handed Josh over. “You’re good with him. Some of the dads don’t touch them. Some wouldn’t know how to change a nappy if they tried.”

  That evening when Beth turned up, he left as soon as possible. He didn’t want Beth getting any ideas like the nurses. He kept telling himself he was doing it to protect her, but the real reason was he couldn’t be around her too much or he would end up caring, which would be pointless.

  ****

  It had been an awful week, but today Josh was coming home. Beth took the day off and Greg told her he would be at the hospital by three. He took her car, as it had the safety attachments for the capsule in it. He realized how much shorter she was when he needed to move the seat right back. Pete and Sara had wanted to do the honors, but he made it clear to them he was going. His boy was safe, and he wanted to be there when he came home. Sara said they would come around and do tea, so Beth wouldn’t have to worry about it.

  Beth was waiting, holding Josh when he got to the ward and Carrie the nurse was doing his discharge.

  “You behave yourself, little one. We don’t want to see you back here again. You caused Mum and Dad enough worry. Take care, both of you.”

  Greg grabbed the bags as Beth carried Josh. They needed to get back to how it was before, and away from people who saw them as a couple.

  ****

  Sara was a wonderful cook. Greg hadn’t realized it until he took the first mouthful of the dinner she had prepared. He had been eating crap with the guys. David devoured his food as if he had not eaten in six months. Keri sat quietly and ate her vegetarian alternative.

  “Well, Greg, I’d like to say something,” Sara said, as she picked up her glass of wine.

  Here it comes, he thought. The whole, “You’re great, but” speech.

  “When you materialized on Grand Final day, I could only see trouble, but you’ve proved me wrong. You’ve been there one hundred percent for Josh and Beth. All I’m trying to say is, I’m glad I’ve been wrong about you.”

  “That’s a first. She’s never wrong, Greg. You’ve made my wife a changed woman.” Pete laughed.

  “It’s good for me as it’s the first time I’ve been right,” Greg replied.

  Beth put on the coffee. She hadn’t looked at him since he’d said he was leaving in half an hour. He thought tonight would be fine, but in the long run it did his head in. It was just more of that happy family stuff that wouldn’t last.

  Keri had finished her tea and gone out with some boy, and David went to his room. Pete and Sara took their coffees. Greg sipped his.

  “I’m just going to check on Josh,” Beth said.

  Greg followed her down. Josh slept soundly as Greg stood beside her and gazed down.

  “They tug at your heart strings, don’t they? It was the same with my other two, though they drive me insane now. The first minute I saw them, they had me in the palm of their hands.” Beth placed her hand on top of his as they both held the side of the cot.

  “I need to go soon. I promised the guys that I’d do something with them tonight.”

  She pulled her hand away, which was what he’d hoped for. It was easier, that way.

  “So, I’ll see you Monday as usual?”

  “Yes, fine,” Greg replied, and turned away.

  As he got in the car, he knew he was making the right decision. Josh was one thing, but Beth was something else. He had to keep his distance, even if his body was reacting to the thought of her. He ached and wanted to run back in and kiss her. To whisk her up in his arms and make her realize what a wonderful woman she was. It was exactly why he needed to stay away.

  Chapter Ten

  The Saturday Josh came home, Greg went out with the guys. It had been a lark, but he wasn’t interested. He just needed to get out of the house. Since prison, he had moved around, trailer parks were a mainstay. He hadn’t intended on stopping here long either. He owed Des. He thought at first the idea of being around young guys enjoying themselves would make up for the years he had missed. He knew after these past few weeks you just have to accept you missed them.

  Pulling up outside of Beth’s didn’t feel the same, either. She said she had been happy that night in Gawler, with just sex, but they both knew that was rubbish. Before Josh went into hospital, it had been enough. Now he wanted more. He needed to work out how he could stay close to Josh without things being expected of him. Beth’s parents were away for another week, and then she wouldn’t need him anymore. He liked life when it was simpler, but he also liked life with Josh. He’d almost lost him once, and he didn’t want to again.

  Beth was running around grabbing things when he walked in.

  “I’m sorry I’m running late, Greg. Everything is ready. The kids didn’t tell me ’til the last minute they needed stuff for school, and today I’ve got a huge order to fill. Tomorrow’s no better, with two weddings. Remind me when I get back. I need to talk to you about something, okay?”

  Beth grabbed her bag and kissed Josh on the forehead and ran out the door. Looking down at his son, Greg felt a whirlwind had just passed by.

  “Well, mate, we’re doing the back steps from the patio today. You know your role as supervisor. You’ve got to watch everything. No going to sleep on the job like yesterday.” Greg popped Josh in the bouncer as he started on the steps leading down to the garden.

  Greg had left his tools behind and was pleased to see David hadn’t touched them. Keri had new shelves in her room that were already covered with her dragon collection, and her wardrobe door actually opened without a gargantuan effort. The rotten decking had been replaced. Greg was amazed no one had fallen through before now, and he also planned on building a pergola.

  The biggest change in the household he observed was David. He didn’t come home from school and head to the computer anymore. He was handing Greg nails and asking questions. Greg laughed at first, thinking what the hell, but the kid seemed keen. Whatever Greg asked him to do, he tried hard to get it right. Greg didn’t want to be anyone’s role model, though.

  When the kids walked in today, it was no different. Keri went to her room and David came to help. Josh was in his cot in the bedroom, and Greg had the intercom on. David asked questions about what type of wood and how he joined it together. He was a good kid, but he never shut up. Then again it must have been rough, losing his dad at nine years old. Greg knew Jeff had died in an accident but never pushed to find out the details. He didn’t want to know. Greg heard
the car pull up. The front door closed, and Beth stuck her head out the patio door.

  “David, you’re not bothering Greg, are you?” She smiled seeing them working together.

  “No, he’s fine. You’re not meant to be doing homework, are you?” Greg winked at him.

  “Nope,” David answered, as he tapped in another nail.

  “That’s it for today, time to clean up.” Greg could see the kid wanted a dad around. He wasn’t applying for the job, though. Greg would tell Beth to talk to the teachers at David’s school and get them to steer him toward carpentry, if it was what he wanted.

  Beth sat in the kitchen with Josh in her arms, breastfeeding. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it home at lunchtime,” she said. “I’m assuming he was okay on what I had expressed?”

  “Yep, he also took the jarred stuff like he’d never eaten before. Do you want a cuppa?

  Beth nodded.

  “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Greg asked, as he put the kettle on.

  “It’s embarrassing, but Sara has set me up for a date,” Beth sighed, “and it’s in a couple of weeks’ time when the kids are both on sleepovers. I wondered if you were free, about seven-thirty? I don’t want to go, but she said I should get out more, as all I do is work and look after the kids. It’s been two months since Josh was born, so I guess she’s right. It’s just a meal and a movie.” Beth’s face had gone red.

  “It’s fine, I’m free.” Greg clenched his fists at the thought of her with someone else even though he had no right to.

  “I just thought you might be going out as it’s a Saturday night.”

  “No, I’ll be packing up my stuff then, I’ve rented a unit. The guys get to be a bit much and I like the idea of being on my own.” He put her tea down as she talked about the shop. He could feel the old anger raising its head again.

  Greg drove his pick-up fast. Beth should have guys in her life. It wasn’t about that and he knew it. If she found someone new, they wouldn’t want him around his kid. He also tried to keep the idea of someone else doing what he had done to Beth out of his mind––it didn’t work. It didn’t work one little bit.

  ****

  He considered being an ass and phoning and saying he couldn’t make it. If it weren’t now, then it would happen at some point in the future. He might as well get it over and done with. She opened the door and looked good, too good, but that was old news. Beth had always been too good for him. He had just caught her at a weak moment once, and now she would probably meet someone decent.

  “Thank you so much for this. I shouldn’t go, but...” Beth turned to walk back to her bedroom.

  Greg grabbed her arm. The look she gave as she stared at his hand made him let go. He knew that look: he’d used it.

  “Beth, when was the last time you just went out and had fun?” She wouldn’t look at him. Damn, wrong question. If the night she spent with him was the last time, then she was long overdue. “What time do you expect him?”

  Beth stood there in the kitchen fidgeting. “Eight, so he’ll be here soon. I feel sick. Sara should never have set this up. I don’t want to date. I know she’s coming from a good place, but I don’t know where my head is right now. I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear this.”

  They walked back down to the lounge and sat at different ends of the couch.

  “I know I don’t, but I’m here and it’s okay. Just have a good time, and don’t worry about Josh. Look, I have something I want to talk to you about that’ll take your mind off of it. I want to talk about David.”

  “What about him?” Beth asked, with concern in her voice.

  “He loves woodwork and he’s out there with me patching things up any chance he gets. It has to be better than playing games on the computer. I hear the kids can get into training stuff at school these days, and I think you should talk to his teachers about it.”

  It worked like a dream, and she seemed relieved as her shoulders relaxed. She hadn’t said anything before, but had been worried since Jeff had died that she wasn’t helping either of her kids to find direction.

  “Thank you. I noticed he didn’t want to come in for tea the other night, because you were hammering away. He’s a good kid.”

  “They both seem like good kids to me.”

  “Keri has some guy who is older, and I can’t say anything to her about it or she snaps at me.” Beth kept wringing her hands.

  “I’ll sort him out for you, if there’s any problem.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want you roughing up my daughter’s boyfriend.”

  The way she shook her head made him understand how different they were. He didn’t want to sort things out with violence, but if it were the only alternative he would run with it. It equaled pain, and that was something he knew about well. If someone messed with his family, then they should watch out. When did he start thinking of them all as family?

  The doorbell rang. Beth didn’t move, so Greg answered it and saw the confused look on the face of the man standing there.

  “I’m the babysitter.” Instant relief showed as Greg let him in. He was smart, nicely dressed and worked out at the gym, most likely. Beth said he was a friend of Sara’s from work, and had a kid of his own from a previous marriage. Greg hated him even though he didn’t know him. Beth chatted and fluffed her hair. She smelled good, but it was for another man. He watched from the window as they drove away.

  As if on cue, Josh gave a cry. Well, at least he could have one of them.

  ****

  Eleven o’clock and a car pulled up. Josh was asleep but would want a feed soon. It would be good to stay and see how Derek coped with a baby. Damn him, the guy was probably kissing her. Greg remembered looking at those lips of hers that first night and wanting to lose himself––and he had.

  Beth walked in. Her top was a pretty green color that set off against her hair. Where was Derek? Beth sat at the dining table throwing her bag down and crossing her arms. Okay, someone was angry. He was just glad it wasn’t aimed at him.

  “Don’t you dare say anything!” she warned.

  Like he would? The glare she gave him would have seen off a ballistic missile. Josh must have heard her as he started to cry and Greg went down to the bedroom and took his time changing a particularly offensive nappy. It was still beyond him how something so small could make so much stink. He took Josh to Beth so she could feed him.

  “I’ll make a hot drink if you want,” he offered.

  “Thanks.”

  He put her hot chocolate down beside her and she smiled as she moved Josh to the other breast. Greg still wanted her so much it hurt. Why the hell was he still persecuting himself like this? Taking Josh from her, he put him back in his cot and watched as he settled off to sleep.

  This would be a good time to go. She was angry, and he didn’t want to know why. He grabbed his backpack and stared at the door. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave her on her own like this. He sat down beside her at the table. She leaned against his chest and cried and his arms went around her without thinking. He held her close though his brain said no, he shouldn’t go there. The flood of tears stopped.

  Greg needed out. She was showing too much of her heart. He stood, in need of distance between them, and Beth sighed.

  “I know you want to go, and I know I’m over the top right now but I could do with a whiskey. Would you join me before you go?” She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

  “Sure.”

  Beth poured some Glenfiddich into two crystal whiskey tumblers. He wanted so much more than whiskey. The problem was, Beth would be an addiction he would never get over.

  “You may not know this, but I’d never tasted whiskey until I met you.”

  He watched her sip her drink.

  “Some of it’s bad.” She sighed again and then took a deep breath. “Why am I so sad and angry at the same time?” She took a large gulp.

  “Beth. Why are you asking me?” Greg stared at the amber liquid. It
was a better option, as he didn’t trust himself to look at her.

  “Because you always seem sort of angry, but in control as well, and tonight is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

  She bit her thumbnail.

  “You’re lucky, then. Let’s go back a step. What happened with Derek that made you so mad?”

  Silence. He loved silence. If she wanted to sit here for hours saying nothing, he could cope.

  “Nothing, everything. He talked about his work and his life. His wife left him and yet she was all he talked about. I even got to see pictures of her in a bikini. Who takes someone out and shows them pictures of their skinny ex-wife in a bikini? I’ve just had a baby, and I’m not exactly taut and trim. He’s looking for a replacement to look after his kid, and I don’t need anyone else’s baggage. I’ve enough of my own.” Beth turned the glass around in front of her so the ice clinked against the side. “I sound like a real bitch, don’t you think?”

  Greg knew he was part of the problem. “Why are you asking the cause of your present predicament for an answer? I left you with baggage.”

  “I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t saying … oh, hell.”

  “I know you didn’t mean anything, but it’s true. I caused our noisy little friend down the hallway.”

  “We caused him, and I’m not sorry for what we did.” She turned and gave him a dangerously inviting look. He remembered every detail of what they did. He’d seen the look before and hadn’t resisted it last time. Her mouth, slightly open, and her eyes saying they wanted him as she leaned slightly forward.

  “We all need to deal with our own demons before we can look at helping others with theirs. That’s all it is.” Greg was amazed at the words he spouted. He was giving advice like he wasn’t going to touch her. That was a joke, when his body was reacting and he wanted her so much.

  “It’s just, everyone wants me to have gotten over things, and reached a place that’s okay so they can feel comfortable. It’s like I put on this face to say it’s all fine. Sara and Diane keep telling me how brave I am, but I don’t feel it. What I feel is lost, and you’re the only one who seems to see the real me.”