The Barker's Dozen - Reminiscences of an Early Police Dog

by Robert Warr

  The nurse chose that moment to intervene. Roughly pushing between us, she wiped David’s hands. She then walked round the chair and took hold of the pushing bar at the back.

  ‘My Lady,’ she said, ‘I will take Master David to his room. We don’t want him catching anything from a dirty animal do we?’

  She began pushing David away, paying not the slightest attention to his clearly-voiced protest.

  ‘I am so sorry about that,’ said Lady Gough, gently patting me. ‘My son becomes tired so very easily. I am fortunate that Miss Blanchard is such a caring woman. She just does not like any animals near her patients.’

  I was very surprised by this because I have noticed that sick people always seem to recover faster when there is an animal in the house. Indeed, whenever I have been recovering from any injuries, I have found Fielding’s company to be extremely soothing.

  The events of Friday night were somewhat dull as my master refused to let me chase the ducks. I am perfectly happy to go to sleep while still damp, as I soon dry off on my master’s bed. His concern is rather touching, but if I don’t mind, why should he? There are, however, two small vignettes that I must share with you before we deal with the events of Saturday.

  The nurse, Miss Blanchard, came in to the drawing room just before we went in to dinner and spoke to Lady Gough. She was on her way to have her supper and had left Molly feeding David. Miss Blanchard said that she would relieve her after she had eaten and then put David to bed.

  As I followed my master upstairs to bed, I caught a glimpse of one of the young gentlemen holding onto a maid’s wrist while speaking urgently to her. He appeared to be somewhat drunk and started guiltily when he heard us pass. I do not think that your uncle saw them but the girl used the distraction to pull away.

  The first part of Saturday morning passed peacefully enough and by ten, most of the party had arisen and breakfasted. One of the guests, a young man called Jasper Yorke, was apparently somewhat unwell, and had decided to spend the morning in bed. According to gossip, he had drunk a large amount of brandy the night before and had become beastly drunk. I think his absence was more welcome than his presence, as he had spent the early parts of the evening asking friends, acquaintances and even strangers for the loan of a few pounds.

  Peter had arranged a drag hunt for the morning. One of the gardeners had been sent out early with a very smelly lure. The idea behind this hunt was for the party to charge around the estate while a motley pack, comprising of the housedogs and a few visiting pets, attempted to follow the scent. Peter called this ‘a bit of healthy exercise to build a spot of appetite’.

  On these occasions most of the people walk, although some of the older guests did ride. We gathered in front of the main entrance to the house, full of pleasant expectation. Peter blew an old hunting horn and we were off.

  I really enjoyed myself that morning. We raced across the lawn and out into the park. You must try to imagine the scene; there were about a dozen dogs, seven riders and nearly twenty people on foot. It was fortunate that it was a drag hunt because the cacophony of shouts, calls, yaps and barks would have driven any self-respecting quarry far away.

  After the first mile, we had opened up from a tight group to a long straggling line. The gardener had thrown the lure over fences and gates and only several delays while the lead dogs cast around for the scent kept us together.

  It was during one of these delays that I unwittingly caused one of the riders to come to grief. We were crossing a field when we lost the scent. I sat by your uncle and indulged in a good pant while looking casually around. There was a young rabbit browsing by one of the hedges that appeared not to have noticed our arrival so I leapt to my feet and raced towards it.

  ‘Look, everyone!’ someone shouted behind me. ‘The Spaniel has the scent. Tally ho!’

  The shout startled the rabbit and it looked up to see me bearing down on it. For a second it froze and I was within three feet when it shook itself and took to its heels, fleeing straight for a hole in the hedge. I looked at the gap it had chosen and decided that there was enough room for me, so I continued my pursuit. The rabbit did a sharp turn to the right and vanished into a hole. I was still looking at the hole when I broke through the hedge and tumbled down a bank into a large stream.

  As I fell down the bank, a horse crashed into the hedge and stopped suddenly. With a despairing shriek, a rather portly gentleman shot from his saddle and landed near me in the water.

  We looked at each other. I wagged my tail and ventured a friendly little woof. He glared at me and then waved a riding crop that he still held gripped tightly in his right hand. This gesture, coupled with an almost inarticulate growling noise, led me to believe that he wasn’t very pleased with me. I decided, therefore, that discretion was the better part of valour and fled back through the hedge to my master.

  The trail started to lead back toward the house so it came as no real surprise when we found the lure hanging from a hook in the stable yard. We were all a bit dishevelled, but it had been good fun. It was in a spirit of contentment that we re-entered the house. Laughing and joking we went to our rooms to change for lunch.

  Your uncle had just opened our door when we heard an outraged shout from the floor below. The shout was followed by some very loud imprecations. When other voices joined in, my master turned and headed towards the staircase. No real policeman can ever ignore a disturbance. There was a confusion of noise as various angry voices tried to speak at once. Then Peter’s voice cut through the din. He was obviously placating several angry people. Rounding a bend in the stairs, we saw him standing on a landing surrounded by five of his guests.

  Peter saw your uncle coming and came towards us with relief on his face.

  ‘Richard, we have a problem,’ Peter began. ‘Apparently these gentlemen have been robbed. I know that you are a guest here, but I would be greatly obliged if you could look into this.’

  ‘Certainly,’ your master agreed. He addressed the aggrieved guests. ‘I need to know what has been stolen and how you discovered the theft.'

  The story that emerged was simple and unpleasant. Each of the guests on entering the room had seen their wallets lying open on their beds. All the notes had been removed. Your uncle then examined each of the victims’ rooms. It became apparent that only money had been stolen, although there were several small valuable items easily to hand. Because I was still slightly wet, Peter absentmindedly stopped me entering the rooms. This was a pity: had I been allowed in, my sense of smell would have enabled me to identify the thief.

  By this time, most of the other guests had gathered to see what was happening. Your uncle waved for silence.

  ‘As you are all now aware,’ he began, ‘several items have been stolen. I want all of you to check your possessions and to tell me if anything is missing. While you are doing that, Peter and I will start looking for the culprit. I intend to resolve this unfortunate incident without causing any unnecessary disruption to tonight's event. To that end I would like to ask for your co-operation.’

  While my master was speaking, Jasper Yorke pushed himself to the front of the group. He waited until your uncle had finished and then coughed for attention.

  ‘I think I know who the thief is, inspector,’ Jasper said, pitching his voice so that all the onlookers were included in his confidence. ‘I was somewhat indisposed this morning and decided to take some laudanum to settle things. I was lying half-asleep when my bedroom door opened and a maid entered the room. I think she must have thought that I was asleep because she moved over to my dressing table. I naturally assumed that she had come to tidy the room and, not wanting to be disturbed, I told her to come back later. She apologised and, as she left my room, she seemed to put something in her apron pocket. It was only when I dressed that I noticed that my cuff links were missing.’

  ‘Do you know who this maid was?’ Your uncle asked.

  ‘I don’t know her name,’ Jasper said, ‘but it was the girl who took the idiot
’s supper up last night.’

  ‘Molly?’ Lady Gough exclaimed in amazement. ‘I just do not believe it.’

  ‘Do you know where she is now?’ my master asked. ‘There may be a perfectly simple explanation.’

  ‘She is with my son in his room, helping Miss Blanchard to get him ready for lunch,’ Lady Gough replied. ‘I have absolutely no doubt that she is not a thief. Come with me and we’ll put these ridiculous accusations to her.’

  My master asked Peter and Jasper to accompany Lady Gough and himself to David’s room.

  Lady Gough ushered us into her son’s room. We found Molly brushing David’s hair and talking to him. Miss Blanchard was not present. Although she was surprised by our entrance, Molly did not show any fear.

  ‘Molly,’ Lady Gough said, ‘this gentleman is Inspector Thompson and he wants to ask you a few questions.'

  ‘Certainly Ma’am.’ The girl smiled at her employer and then turned to my master. ‘How can I help you, sir?’

  ‘There have been some thefts of the guests’ property this morning,’ your uncle said. ‘Have you anything you wish to tell me?’

  ‘Nothing has been stolen from Master David or Lady Gough, Sir.’ She smiled at your uncle before continuing, ‘either Miss Blanchard or myself have been in here with David since Lady Gough left to join the hunt.’

  It was obvious to me that Jasper had been mistaken. I did not think that Molly was a thief. If she was guilty, then she was a very good actress.

  My master motioned Jasper forward while stepping back so that he could watch the two of them and then said, ‘Molly I want you to listen to this gentleman’s story. When he has finished tell me if there is anything you want to add to your account.’

  With seemingly far too much pleasure, Jasper repeated his tale. As he spoke the girl started to say something but your uncle told her to let him finish. She stood there in silence with her hands over her mouth. I saw a look of genuine shock in her eyes. This time, when Jasper reached the end of his account, he was certain that he had seen the girl take his cuff links. He pointed dramatically to her apron pocket. The girl instinctively brought her hand down and as she touched her pocket, she went white.

  My master reached gently into the pocket and pulled out a pair of gold cuff links. She stared at them and started shaking. For the first time I could smell her fear.

  ‘How do you explain these?’ Your uncle asked gently.

  ‘I can’t, Sir.’ She replied. ‘Honestly, I don’t know how they got there. I haven’t entered Mr Yorke’s room and I wouldn’t steal anything.’

  ‘I bet you hear this all the time Inspector,’ Jasper said, with a triumphant sneer. ‘You catch one of the lower classes red-handed and they don’t know anything at all. Before you know it she’ll be saying that I put my cuff links in her pocket.’

  ‘That must be it!’ the girl cried. ‘When you came in here this morning. You could have dropped them in my pocket then.’

  Jasper reached out and grabbed her wrist. From the way that she winced, I could tell that he was hurting her. I also realised that I had seen him holding her in the same way before.

  ‘Lying won’t help you,’ Jasper snarled. ‘If we get the inspector to search your room we will no doubt find the rest of the stolen property.’

  Your uncle forced Jasper to unhand the girl. There was a moment of bedlam when Jasper, Lady Gough and Peter all started addressing my master at once. I think that we had all forgotten David’s presence; it was almost as if he wasn’t there. We were, therefore, all shocked when he shouted. His words were incomprehensible but his anger was readily obvious.

  Lady Gough ran to his side and attempted to calm him down. It seemed to me that the more she tried to placate him down the angrier he became.

  Jasper rounded on the maid and shouted, ‘look what your criminal ways have done to him!’

  As Molly started protesting her innocence again, Jasper suddenly slapped her with his full strength. The blow knocked her from her feet so that she ended up half-sprawled on the bed. My master gently helped her to her feet and then took a step towards Jasper, who backed off holding up his hands apologetically.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Jasper said, without any real contrition, ‘but I find her lies almost unbearable.’

  David’s shouts rose to a crescendo and he started flailing around. Lady Gough and Molly each caught hold of one of his arms. If this stopped his flailing, it did nothing to reduce the noise of his shouts. He was crying, it seemed to me, in both anger and frustration.

  Miss Blanchard burst into the room and took charge; from her condition it was obvious that she had heard the commotion and come at a run. A few minutes later my master, Peter, Jasper and myself found ourselves banished into the hallway as Miss Blanchard started organising some treatment.

  My master had tried to escort Molly from the room but was informed that ‘the girl, useless as she may be’ was essential for David’s care. My master, therefore, compromised by leaving Molly in Lady Gough’s charge.

  We had to wait until David had been calmed down before your uncle could organise a quick search of Molly’s room as Lady Gough had insisted that both she and the girl should be present. Although the search was quick, the scarcity of hiding places in the attic room made it readily apparent that the missing money was not there.

  After some discussion, my master decided that Molly would be locked in her room except when she was needed to help with David's care. Should the stolen money be returned by Sunday afternoon the matter would be left in Lady Gough’s hands if not, Molly would be formally arrested. The only person who did not seem to want to avoid a scandal was Jasper. I found this strange, as he hadn’t actually lost anything.

  You are probably wondering why Molly was needed to help with David’s care. It may help if I describe the treatment that David received whenever he had one of his ‘fits’. The medical treatment given to David consisted normally of two baths; one filled with water that was almost scalding hot while the other was filled with iced water. David was lowered into the hot bath and after a pre-set time he was pulled out and plunged straight into the cold water. This was done to induce a fever. If David protested he was ignored because the treatment was for his own good.

  Every so often David was subjected to an even more scientific form of treatment. A table had been procured that could be spun around one end. David would be strapped to this table with his head pointing outwards and spun. The idea was that all his blood would rush to his head and cause a blackout. This instrument was referred to as the centrifuge and was visited on him when he was at home.

  David was, therefore, subjected to the baths and then drugged into a deep sleep with laudanum. I know that it stopped his raging fit, but I don’t think it did anything for his underlying problem. The only thing that I am certain of is that Miss Blanchard terrified him.

  The evening's party was quite a success. Most of the guests, probably in deference to Peter, seemed to have decided that the least said the soonest mended. Jasper, however, would initially speak of nothing else. He seemed to think that the maid was not being treated harshly enough. I must admit that I did not like him at all. Fortunately, the twin distractions of cards and brandy soon distracted him from ‘the undue leniency being shown to this larcenous maid’.

  I had a really good evening. To my surprise, the rather portly party whom I had unhorsed literally collared me. He then took me round the assembled company and told them, in frankly hilarious terms, the story of his soaking. After each telling he went back to the buffet table for ‘a little bit of dinner.’ As he always shared this bounty I was perfectly happy to accompany him on his rounds.

  I went to bed fatter and happier.

  After breakfast on Sunday, most of the party went to the estate church. I decided to stroll round the estate. I walked into one of the walled gardens, and found David sitting in his chair. No one was with him so I walked over to sit by him

  I had no sooner settled down than David began to ta
lk to me. Although I could not understand what he was saying, I suddenly realised that he had seen something. David was a witness! How to understand him was beyond me so, having told him I would hurry back, I raced off to the church.

  The service was thankfully quite short and I did not have to wait very long. When my master appeared in the doorway, I took hold of his hand and started pulling. Now I am not normally that direct with your uncle, but he is clever enough to know when I want to show him something. As soon as he said, ‘alright, I’m coming,’ I let go and led him back to David. Peter and Lady Gough saw my master hurrying back to the house and thinking that something was afoot followed him.

  I had no idea how I could make my master understand David, but I had reckoned without the young man’s intelligence. When David saw your uncle he spoke. The word he said sounded enough like ‘inspector’ to rivet my master’s attention.

  The young man then carefully touched his eyes and then mimed placing something into an apron pocket. He then repeated the actions.

  ‘David,’ cried Lady Gough. ‘Are you trying to tell us something?’

  The young man very clearly nodded his head. My master crouched down so that their eyes were almost level.

  ‘David,’ he began, ‘I am going to ask you a few questions; if the answer is yes nod your head, if the answer is no please speak. Do you understand?’

  David nodded his head emphatically. The rest of us watched in fascinated silence one of the most interesting conversations I have ever seen.

  By keeping the questions short and making sure that they all had yes or no answers, my master was able to extract the following facts from David. For simplicity I will recount your uncle’s questions and David’s answers as simple statements.