Finding Me: Book 1: All I've Ever Wanted (A New Adult Romance Series)

by Unknown

  'Now, you both eat your sandwiches. And when you're done, Laura can show you what to do with the plates. You'll be in Linda's old room, Abigail. Everything will be laid out by the time you two are done. I have to get the rest of your paperwork ready for tomorrow.' Rebecca put the lid on the soda and placed it back into the fridge.

  Laura took a bite out of her sandwich and waited for Rebecca to leave before talking to Abigail.

  'So, what's your story?'

  Abigail didn't respond, but continued to chew on her sandwich. After a couple of minutes, Abigail decided to break the silence. She sighed and responded quite seriously.

  'There's not much to tell. I moved from home to home. Pretty sure I won't be here too long. I'm never anywhere for too long.'

  'How many homes have you been to?'

  'Enough!' Abigail barked, hoping to find Laura shocked at her outburst but was surprised to see her stay totally calm.

  Laura took another bite of her sandwich and washed it down with the soda.

  'Why do you move around so much? Do you get in trouble?'

  Abigail looked down at her plate and put her sandwich aside. She took a sip from her cup and then put her crisp into the lemonade.

  'Same here' Laura answered for Abigail having figured she wasn’t ready to talk. She looked over at Abigail and smiled. This time, her smile wasn't the fake Rebecca clone, but something genuine.

  'I don't like them much either. But this one's not been too bad, so I gave it a shot. I've been here for two years now. It isn't too bad. I've been in worse. Much worse. Besides, we don't have too long to stay here. Rebecca has been saying the government will shut this hole down soon. I hope that's true.'

  Abigail put the soggy crisp into her mouth and sucked the soda out of it without saying a word.

  Laura reached out and put her hand on Abigail's. 'You're probably the only one to understand what it's like to keep moving around like this. You aren't like the others.'

  'What about the others?' Abigail was a bit taken back. This girl seemed different. She was desperate for friendship as much as she was though she never showed hers.

  'Bullies. The whole lot of them. Ella's the ring leader. Things weren't as bad before she came. Granted, Holly and Brenda can be really horrible too, but they never had the...well...they never had the ambition to be mean all the time. Ella on the other hand...' Laura's fingers clasped around Abigail's and started to squeeze.

  Abigail could sense from Laura’s fidgeting that she wasn't ready to talk too much about the situation.

  'And the older woman? The one with the fake smile?' Abigail asked, trying to satisfy her curiosity.

  'That's Rebecca. She's all right. Her smile may be fake, but at least, she tries to be nice—fake or not. The others aren't so caring. The link workers here are hit and miss. And Fred..., don't let him near you. He'll touch you up.'

  'Fred?'

  'He delivers groceries and stuff. He wasn't much of a problem until Rebecca had to lay off more and more staff. Now he comes every week. He can get you anything. Well, that's what I heard Ella say to Holly. But he demands payment up front in an alternate fashion, if you know what I mean. A total creeper.'

  Abigail held her rabbit closer. Laura noticed.

  'What's with that though?' Laura nodded to the toy in Abigail's hand. Abigail paused, she wasn't sure how to respond.

  ‘Just something of mine.'

  Dear Diary

  I finally arrived Glencoe. Mr. Moss said I need to behave until at least my birthday. I'm so sick of these things. All of the moving in the world won't help. Nothing will help.

  Nothing.

  Not even you, diary. I know I am supposed to write in you every day, but I can't seem to get the energy sometimes.

  I wish I were just back at home with Mamica and Pa.

  I know I won't be back there again. I won't see them again. I can't even visit their grave. Not that I know where they are buried at.

  I met a girl named Laura today. She seems cool.

  I met a few idiots too. Maybe my dark luck will rub off on them? Finally, a group who might deserve it.

  That's all for now, Diary.

  Abi

  Chapter 13

  Both Abigail and Laura took a stroll on Glencoe grounds. It was Laura's idea to have Abigail explore the back garden with her. What struck Abigail first was the lack of greenery in the garden. It seemed to be just a collection of soil, the random cat turd, and small patches of crabgrass. In fact, the most abundant thing in the garden seemed to be patches of cigarette butts and used lager cans. Occasionally, used condoms could be seen.

  Laura pulled out a cigarette and offered it to Abi, 'Want one?'

  Abi shook her head, giving a silent no.

  'Suit yourself.'

  Laura took the cigarette and popped it into her mouth. She took out a small green Bic lighter and started to light the stick when she heard Ella's loud voice coming across the garden.

  'Shit!' Laura almost squealed as she tried to hide her cigarette.

  Ella and her posse walked over to Laura. She stopped right in front of Laura's face. Ella outweighed and was taller than Laura. She scrunched her nose in a way she thought made her look tough, but really just made her look like a rat.

  'Give it!' Ella said.

  'Give what?' Laura asked, feigning confusion.

  'Give what? Do you hear what this cow just said? Like we're dumb or something. Are we dumb, Holly?'

  Holly stepped next to Ella and shook her head, 'No. We’re not. I think little Miss-Too-Good is rubbing off on her.'

  Brenda laughed. 'I bet she's rubbing off on her. I see they spend all their time together in their rooms. I wonder what they could be doing there, eh?'

  'Probably being losers like they are every day.' Ella answered.

  Abigail walked up towards Ella and stood close to her.

  'Oh look, little Miss-Too-Good wants to protect her girlfriend!' Ella said.

  Abi remained silent but didn't move from Laura's side.

  'At least, we know what got your tongue now. It wasn't the cat, but another pussy!' Holly said.

  'Here! Now leave us alone!' Laura slightly pleaded as she handed Ella the cigarette.

  Ella took the cigarette and put it into her mouth. 'That's one for us, but it seems that my two friends here want one too. So hand over the rest!'

  'No, don't...' Abigail exclaimed.

  Ella turned and shoved Abigail to the ground. 'You picked the wrong time to talk, little Miss-Too-Good!'

  'Don't hurt her! Here! Take them all! Just leave us alone!' Laura cried as she gave her pack over to Ella.

  'About time you came to your senses, your cheeky cow.' Ella took the pack and handed it to Holly, then she slapped Laura hard across the cheek, 'That's for making me ask twice!'

  Laura covered her face and could feel the burn of the slap. Ella's ring had cut her and a small line of blood came to meet her hand.

  'Come on girls, let’s leave the lezzies to lick their wounds.' Ella took her group towards the far end of the grounds to enjoy their smokes.

  'You okay?' asked Abigail as she got up and moved towards Laura, dusting herself off.

  'Yeah, I'll be okay. But that was my last flipping pack!

  'Ignore it, just get another! I'll lend you some money if you need.'

  'No thanks. Not going through that again.' Laura said.

  'Just be more careful next time, Ella won't even know...'

  'Don't care about Ella. She's just a mean bitch.' Laura's eyes rolled in the fashion of someone reluctantly making an unsolicited confession. 'I mean, not going through getting them again. Can't stand his bloody hands all over. Creeps me out'

  'What do you? ….Oh. Sorry.' Now Abigail understood.

  'Come on, let’s get back inside. I'm not sure why I took you out to see this shithole anyway.' Laura said.

  The two girls started back towards the house with Laura heading in first, nursing a reddened cheek. Abi then paused, looked over
at the group of bullies and gave them the finger. When she turned to follow Laura, a rock by a clump of crabgrass wobbled and then began to spin. Within moments, it launched itself and flew through the air striking Ella on the head. It hit her hard, leaving a gash above her brow and soon began to bleed.

  'Shit! Aww!' Ella exclaimed as she grabbed her head.

  'Why. What happened?' Holly asked, charging forward towards Ella.

  Ella looked across the garden to the door in time to see Abigail move into the house. The rock had come from her direction; Ella was sure of it.

  'I'll tell you what happened! That new skank and her lezzie friend is what! Oh, they're going to get it. They are so gonna get it!

  Dear Diary

  It's me again. Did you miss me, Diary? I didn't miss you. I've been busy with my new friend Laura. She's really great. The only thing that keeps me in this hell-hole. The others, well they are just little mean twats.

  The ring leader, Ella, is a really nasty one. I think she’s lying about her age because nobody can be that big and nasty and still be young enough to live here. Even in a dump like Glencoe, they need to have some sort of rules.

  Rebecca turned out to be a useless cow too. She knows the abuse is happening but does nothing about it. She puts on that fake smile and thinks everything will be okay.

  It won't be.

  I know it won't be. You know it won't be. I think it started already. That bitch Ella blames me for cutting her head. Like I could throw a rock that far and hit her let alone make her get stitches like that. She had to tell Rebecca she fell off the pavement.

  I wish she would have just said I threw it at her like she tells her girls. Then I'd be gone from this place. But that would mean Laura would be alone. I don't want that to happen. She's the only good thing that has ever happened in my life. I'll never leave her.

  Bye Diary!

  Abi

  Chapter 14

  Ella took a swig from the bottle and passed it to her boyfriend narrating her earlier ordeal with Laura and Abigail. Her boyfriend, Garry, took the bottle and put it to his lips. He was much older than Ella but he liked that she did things girls her age wouldn't. She was a real pleaser. There was something quite unsavory about the two of them as a couple. Or at least, there ought to have been laws against such unions. He passed the bottle back to Ella.

  'I need a smoke.' Ella said.

  'Don't look at me. I'm clean out.'

  'Oh, come off it, I know you can get some! Isn't Tom working at the pub? He's always got some.'

  Garry shrugged. 'What'd you want with Tommy? You’re with me right! Don't you forget that.' Garry's blood was up. He was quick to anger. Ella knew that. She also knew he was a bigger dog than she was on any given Sunday. She had found that out the night they met and definitely didn't want a repeat lesson. Ella thought it best to always keep him happy.

  'I didn't mean it that way! I just wanted a smoke. Those two bitches have my nerves all up.'

  Garry laughed. 'Well, if you wanted something for your mouth, why didn't you just say that?'

  'Garry, I'm serious! You see what that new skank did to my head! I had five stitches on that! They even shaved my brow. Looks bloody weird now!'

  'I never went with you for your brow.'

  'What did you go with me for then?' Ella asked, as she pushed her chest out in a tease.

  'Oh, I think you know of a couple of good reasons that just popped to mind.' Garry said.

  'Anything else pop into your mind?' Ella sleazed up to him.

  Garry pulled Ella closer to him. The smell of whisky was strong on his breath. 'I'm sure there will be.' he said, thinking his line was witty. Ella pretended all was peaches and cream. Garry was in one of his randy moods after the drink and Ella need not be reminded how urgent she needed to put the situation under control. Garry was the type of guy that got what he wanted regardless. So for Ella, taking the pain and bruise-free option was the best for her. She just had to play the calm game and play it right.

  'Garry...' Ella said as he undid her bra.

  'What?'

  'How much do you love me?' she asked.

  'So much it hurts, luv. So much it hurts.' Garry lied. The means justified the end in his books.

  Dear Diary

  I can't believe Ella! She stole all of my clothes from the shower and I had to walk around the place naked! She and her cow friends made fun of me the entire time. I tried to go to my room and the door wouldn't open. I had to go to Laura's room and they followed me saying it looked like we were horny and needed it.

  Laura was really sweet. She let me use some of her clothes until Rebecca came back to unlock the door. To top it off, Rebecca blamed ME for somehow locking the door on myself!

  I never did get my clothes that Ella stole back. I hope she chokes on them.

  Abi

  Chapter 15

  Laura sipped from a small bottle of rum and slightly struggled to down it, squeezing her eyes and lips in the process. It was another item she acquired in the unorthodox manner of 'Fred-rules-express'. Laura always kept her “stuff” wrapped in plastic grocery bags so as to keep her not-so-little secret safe from Ella, her gang and of course, Rebecca. Though she almost never brought them out, she felt at ease in Abigail's company. Laura offered the bottle to Abigail, but Abi refused in her usual fashion.

  'That's not good for you, you know.' Abigail’s concern was apparent in her voice.

  'There's a lot that's not good for me. I think you're the only thing in this place good for me at the moment to be frank.' Laura smiled. The drink relaxed her so she felt at ease.

  Abigail blushed. It was unusual for her to receive a compliment. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t sure anyone had ever paid her compliments for as long as she could remember and at that moment, she wasn't sure how to take it either. Laura sensed the discomfort building up and changed tact.

  'Besides, in this place you've got to know when to take something, as you never know when anything else will come along.' Laura prodded Abigail's back with the bottle, but Abigail kept her focus on what she was writing. Laura sighed.

  'Numb is the boredom in this place. What the hell are you doing anyway?' Laura continued.

  'Writing.' Abigail replied sharply.

  'To whom?'

  'A friend.'

  Laura's famous Rebecca-type grin came across her face and soon began her tease.

  'A boyfriend?'

  Abigail stopped writing and turned to Laura. After staring at her for a couple of seconds, she simply offered a smile back. The realization of the fact that Laura had it completely wrong amazed her.

  'It's not what you think. It's someone I've known for a long time who is more of a younger brother to me. He's the only person left I know.'

  Laura moved closer and hugged Abigail from behind over her shoulder and spoke in a voice that somewhat depicted emptiness.

  'At least, you know someone. All my family's gone. Mum's dead, Gran's dead, and my dad, well, let’s just say he's not exactly the pen-pal type.'

  'Well, you've got someone now!' Abigail said and hugged Laura back. She smiled again at Laura, then returned to her writing.

  Laura took another swig from her bottle and walked over to the window. Outside, the rain poured. And as she looked out onto the scrub ground, she could see puddles building on the sodden lawn. Across the perimeter fence, she could see members of the public darted for cover. Some braved it with umbrellas. Laura was lost in her thoughts and almost didn’t realize when the question fell through her mouth.

  'He must be special to have you write him all of these years.' Laura uttered wistfully.

  'He is. Like I said, the only one left I know. He was my only friend growing up. I don't think I would have made it this far if it weren't for the letters. They're special, you know? Abi paused, stared a little longer at Laura, then continued. 'I guess they remind me of the good times, the good memories.'

  'My Gran did that for me. She was great. Mum passed quite early and Dad
was, well, it was better when he wasn't around.' Laura took a deep breath.

  Abigail couldn’t believe Laura never fancied the idea of living with her dad. At least, not after she learnt about what her dad had done to her when she was much younger. She knew without a doubt that Laura needed a friend at that moment more than ever. Abigail pushed her writing materials aside and pulled Laura into a hug.

  'I'm so sorry, Laura. I didn't know...'

  'Not many people do. It's not something you advertise, you know. There's no shirt that says, 'Hi, my name is Laura and my dad fiddled me' or anything. Besides, It's in the past. It used to drive me nuts thinking about it, but now.’ She stopped for a moment. 'You're a great friend, Abi!'

  'You're the only friend I've had since moving into this system.' Abigail confided. 'I don't make them easily.'

  'You? But your little miss sunshine!' teased Laura.

  'Yeah, I know I can be a bit...'

  'Moody?' finished Laura.

  'Yeah, moody. It's just because I've been through a lot.'

  'Hello! Haven't we all? I mean, Hi! Remember me? My dad won't win the father of the year award anytime soon.'

  'You're so sarcastic. I can't guess why you never had friends before me!' Abigail teased, coming off somewhat sarcastic as well.

  Laura became introspective, looking into empty space 'It's my way of dealing with things, I guess. The moody and the sarcastic. What a strange pair we make.'

  'So, is your pa the reason why.... well...you know....'

  'The reason I... don’t like to trust anyone, or let anyone close?' asked Laura.

  'Well, yeah.'

  Laura sighs. 'Maybe. At least partly. I don't know. Maybe I just haven't met the right guy. I mean, not everyone can have a great friend like you. There really isn’t much to pick from inside the system, is there? We can't all be slags like Ella and knock with a boy twice our age. How about you?'

  'Me?' Abi asked. Her face reddened.

  'You know? Have you been with a guy?'