by Burke, Dez
“Hi, Levi. What are you doing here?”
Her voice is also surprised and a tinge hopeful. Or is that my imagination?
I take a moment to admire her once again. She looks different dressed for work, older and more professional. A few tendrils of hair have escaped from her ponytail and gently frame her face, resting against her high cheekbones. She’s wearing a soft pastel pink lipstick, but no other makeup. Her light freckles are visible across her cheeks giving her a sun-kissed and healthy glow.
I momentarily forget how to speak.
“Are you here for Edward’s prescription?” she asks helpfully. “I noticed another one is ready for him.”
“Yes. Please. Cole asked me to pick it up.”
“Let me get it,” she offers sweetly and reaches for a paper bag on the shelf behind her. “That should be everything he needs for the week. If you run short, you can order a refill online or call me.”
“Thanks, Annie.”
I poke through the contents of the bag, not knowing what I should be checking for. I don’t know anything about Dad’s medicines. I turn back to her.
“It’s a little strange to see you here behind the counter, being all stern and businesslike.”
“Is it?” she says with a shy smile. “Why?”
“Last time we were together, you were a huge fan of denim cut-off shorts and crop tops. Now you’re in a professional white lab coat with your hair pulled back. I barely recognize you.”
She grins at me. “I could say the same about you. When I last saw you, you had unruly hair, no beard, and only wore concert t-shirts. Now you’re on the cover of women’s magazines and being called the country’s most eligible bachelor and ‘Playboy of the Year.’”
I make a face at her. “You read that article, huh? Don’t believe anything you read about me. None of it’s true. I swear. The media makes up shit just to keep people entertained.”
“Everyone in Monroe read it,” she says with a shy laugh. “Not just me. Here at the pharmacy, the manager ordered ten times the number of copies we stock of the magazine. They sold out the first hour once it hit the stands.”
She studies me carefully without speaking, then says, “You look good now, Levi. Different, but good. Older and more mature.”
“So do you. As beautiful as ever. I always said you were the prettiest girl in Monroe. Nothing has changed in that department.”
She blushes in a sweet way at the compliment and tucks one of those tendrils of loose hair behind her ears.
“Thanks.”
She clears her throat then lifts her eyes to meet mine. “Are you in town for long?” she asks. “Or is this only a weekend trip?”
“I’m not sure,” I say honestly. “At least a few weeks. My record label will have the final decision on how long I’ll be in town. We’re working out the details now.”
“That long? Wow, that’s great. Your family will love having you around the house this summer. Especially Lily. She clearly adores you. You were all she could talk about.”
“It wasn’t easy to get the time off. I’m on very thin ice with my manager. He’s not a happy man. Family comes first though, right? In this life, you only get one.”
“Right,” she says. “I know Cole has been trying to get in touch with you for a long time. Things have been tough lately for him.”
I frown, not liking the idea of Cole venting to Annie about me and my failings.
What must she think of me?
“I feel guilty about that,” I tell her. “I should’ve returned his phone calls sooner. Things have just been crazy on tour. Not that business is much of an excuse to neglect my family. Or any excuse.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t know things had progressed so rapidly with Dad. It’s the kind of thing you need to see in person to believe. Cole tried to tell me, but unless you experience it firsthand, it’s impossible to comprehend.”
“I told Cole you were probably super busy,” she says. “Things must be going pretty well for you. I keep hearing your songs playing constantly on the radio. Sometimes I pinch myself when I hear your voice to make sure it’s real. You’ve come a long way from Monroe.”
“I’m not the only one. You’ve done well too.”
She waves a hand at me and rolls her eyes. “I’m just a pharmacist. Nothing fancy. It’s a regular job. I would say a nine-to-five job, but the hours are quite a bit longer than that.”
“What do you mean ‘just a pharmacist?’ You’ve done exactly what you set out to do. That’s huge. You’re exactly where you wanted to be. You had a goal and you went for it. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Levi,” she says. “I’m sincerely happy for you too.”
She fiddles nervously with some paperwork on her counter and rearranges the hand sanitizers sitting in a box nearby.
“I don’t know what to say,” she confesses with a nervous laugh after a moment. “I keep telling myself you’re Levi, the same great guy I’ve known most of my life. But I keep seeing your face on magazines and talk shows. I hear you on the radio and see you on television specials. It makes me feel a bit tongue-tied and awkward to have a conversation with a celebrity. Even if you were once someone I used to know.”
The thought that she’s uncomfortable around me makes me sad.
“Believe me, sometimes I can’t believe it either,” I say. “Inside my soul, I’m still a wannabe singer struggling to be legit. Then I see my face up on a screen on a huge stage, and it hits me that it’s all real. I certainly don’t consider myself to be a big shot any more now than I did back then. I’m someone who’s still working hard to not fuck everything up and lose it all.” I smile reassuringly at her. “Nothing’s changed much. I’m still that same old Levi.”
Her face tells me she’s not so sure. When I see the indecision, I realize I want her to see me as I am, not the Levi Hamby the fans see.
I need someone in my life to know me.
The real man inside.
Only someone from my past would be able to do that. Only someone who knows where I came from and the struggles it took to get there.
All the people in my life now are more concerned with what I can do for them or their career to give a shit about me.
I’m smart enough to know that.
And if I’m being honest with myself, to most of the fans, I’m nothing more than a hashtag.
“It’s been good to see you.” Annie folds her arms across her chest and examines me closely. “If you’re in town for long, maybe I’ll get a chance to run into you again before you leave. I’m always here at the pharmacy if you want to drop by to chat.”
“Oh, I’m not leaving seeing you again to chance,” I say, leaning forward on the counter between us. “We’ve got too much to catch up on. Let’s go for a drink and make it happen. Can I pick you up after work tonight or meet you somewhere convenient for you? What time do you get off? Let’s do this thing.”
“Tonight?” Annie’s eyes widen in surprise. “Are you serious?”
“Hell yes, I’m serious. I can’t wait to catch up with you. Being a pharmacist, you must know all the local gossip that I’m years behind on hearing. I miss Monroe and the people.”
“Then I’m free tonight,” she says. “I’ll meet you somewhere.”
“It’s a date then,” I reply, grinning back at her. “Where do you want to meet? Is the Red Barn Bar still open? We could never get into the place as kids because we weren’t old enough to drink.”
She laughs at the memory. “Do you remember the time when we tried to get in using fake IDs? The guy checking them at the front door knew your dad and ratted us out.”
“I remember that! The bastard called him right away. Dad was waiting for me in the living room when I got home that night. Mad as a mean old hornet. He threatened to whip my ass if I tried to use a fake driver’s license again. Even worse, he told me he’d tell Mama the next time. That was the worst thing he could threaten. Nothing was worse than disappointing Mama, and
he knew that.”
“The threat worked,” she says. “We didn’t try it again. Do you want to go check it out? We’ll see if it would’ve been worth the effort back then. How about eight o’clock? I get off work at six-thirty, and that will give me time to go home and change.”
“You bet I do. I’ll see you then, Annie.”
I slap my hand down on the counter and grab the bag with Dad’s medicine. When I leave the store, I glance back over my shoulder to catch Annie smiling to herself as she goes about filling the next customer’s order.
Jogging back towards the pick-up truck, I can’t keep the smile off my face either.
In the past few months, I’ve played countless shows in huge arenas to tens of thousands of fans. Which should’ve been the biggest thrill in the world. At the time, I believed it was.
Truth is, all of that doesn’t begin to compare to what I’m feeling right this minute.
I can’t believe I might get a second chance with Annie. Something I’ve never let myself consider more than a fleeting moment in all these years.
Deep down inside, I’ve always believed that giving her up was the sacrifice, the cost, of reaching my dreams. That I didn’t deserve to have both in my life.
To think there might be a chance to have it all makes my heart soar.
And terrifies the shit out of me that I’ll screw it up again. I climb into the pick-up truck and blow out a long breath.
I can do this.
All I need is time with Annie to make things right again.
All I need is one more summer...
13
Annie
Taylor volunteered to come over to my house to help me get ready for my date with Levi. Now, I’m beginning to regret telling her anything about it.
I’m nervous enough about seeing him tonight, and her constant chatter is making me even more anxious.
She’s sitting cross-legged on my bed, bouncing up and down in excitement as she watches me try on twenty different outfits.
“Levi Hamby! I can’t believe it,” she says. “He’s one of the biggest country music superstars in the country and you’re going out on a date with him. You must’ve worked some magic on him when you were kids.”
I bite down on my lip and give a casual shrug.
“He doesn’t know anyone else in town to hang out with,” I explain. “Most of our classmates have moved away or are married with ten kids by now. Maybe he wants to get away from the farm. Or to talk about the situation there. I suspect Cole is being rough on him about not coming home sooner. Levi might even be wanting to get my professional advice about his dad’s dementia.”
“You’re not a doctor,” she points out. “There’s not a whole lot you can tell him as far as professional advice goes. I doubt that’s the reason he wants to see you.”
“True,” I say. “Okay, I’ll strike that thought off then. Either way, I think you’re making way too much of this. We’re just getting a drink together to catch up on old times.”
She rolls her eyes and flops back on my bed.
“Why are you so reluctant to believe that he might be interested, or that maybe you meant something to him? Honestly, Annie, you don’t write a song about a girl if she means nothing to you.”
“And I’ve already told you a million times, the song isn’t about me.”
“It’s not that hard to figure out,” she says. “Who else could it be about?” She sits up again and catches my eye in the full-length mirror beside my closet. “It’s hardly the riddle of the century.”
“Even if he was thinking about us when he wrote it, they’re just words. Songwriters need something for inspiration. Maybe there was a time long ago when he felt a certain way. He could be channeling that same emotion. For example, I was scared of thunderstorms too when I was a kid. I remember the fear I felt when the thunderclouds would roll in. It doesn’t mean I’m scared of them now, but I sure remember the scared feeling.”
“You should ask him straight out about it tonight,” she says. “Let’s settle this argument once and for all. Ask Levi if he wrote the song for you. Just do it. If not for yourself, do it for me because I’m dying to know. Then I’ll hush about it.”
I raise my eyebrows at her while fiddling with my earrings.
“And how would that conversation go? Hey Levi, you know that debut song that made you famous? Is it about me? Because I think it might be.”
“But I want to knooooow!” she moans. “The suspense is killing me.”
“The answer is no, I’m not asking him, so hush about it now. It would be too humiliating. I wish you’d stop bringing it up.”
“You’re no fun.”
“What if he said it wasn’t about me? What if it’s about another girl he met after me? Then I would feel worse. I would rather not know for sure, then I can always dream. Sometimes it’s better to not know the truth.”
I twist and turn in front of the mirror to check out another sundress that I never get a chance to wear. It’s a white wraparound dress that comes to mid-thigh. It dips in a V at the neck to show just a couple of inches of cleavage. The material cinches in tight at my waist to accentuate my full, curvy figure. I slip on a pair of heeled sandals and fluff up my long blonde hair.
I turn back to Taylor. “What do you think? How about this dress? Will it work?”
Her face softens. “The dress is incredible on you. That’s the one. It gets my vote. I’ll help you hang the rest of the clothes back up in the closet.”
I return my gaze to the mirror, smoothing down the soft material over my hips. I nod at my reflection.
“I think so, too.”
Taylor completes my outfit by skillfully applying a tiny bit of eye makeup and light pink lipstick. I brush my hair until it shines and is full of volume.
“You clean up pretty good for a country girl,” she jokes.
“I’m no match for his model or actress girlfriends though,” I say, suddenly self-conscious and insecure. “I’ve seen photographs on social media of Levi with tons of different female stars.”
My stomach tightens at the thought and a wave of doubt washes over me.
“If he wanted to be with one of those women, then he would be,” she says softly. “Now stop fretting about it and go have some fun. It will do you good for a change. Just talk about old times. Catch him up on local gossip. Lord knows you have enough material to work with in this town. If nothing else comes out of it tonight, at least you’ll know you did something different and exciting.”
I nod back at her. “You’re right. Thanks for the pep talk.”
She climbs off the bed and grabs me in a quick hug, being careful not to mess up my hair or makeup.
“You’ll call me tomorrow with all the details?” she asks. “Because you know I’ll be sitting there with the phone in my hand anxiously waiting.”
“I will, I promise.”
She gives my hand a squeeze. “Have an amazing time, honey. You deserve it.”
14
Annie
I take a deep breath and step into the entrance of the Red Barn Bar. Our choice of venue reminds me of how much time has passed. The last time I was here, we were underage teenagers and not old enough to drink alcohol.
When I walk into the main room, I see that Levi is already there. He’s standing at the bar in dark denim jeans and a red-checked shirt with the top buttons undone. He’s wearing dark-tinted glasses to hide his startlingly green eyes. A trademark cowboy hat sits on his head.
When I walk across the room toward him, I notice a couple of women shooting glances his way and whispering. They’re wondering if it’s him, but aren’t certain enough to approach in person.
Yet…
It won’t be long before he’s recognized. The only reason Levi’s not being swarmed already is that nobody would suspect he would show up at a local bar in tiny Monroe.
Even if it is his hometown.
Levi glances up and sees me. His lips curve into a wide grin and he hur
ries over, placing an arm gently on the small of my back.
“You look wonderful, Annie. Stunning as always.”
“Thanks.”
He takes me to a small wooden table for two in the far corner of the bar with a good view of the stage. On the table are two plastic covered menus.
I sit opposite Levi and my heart speeds up when he smiles at me. I can’t believe I’m here with him after all this time.
“This is nice,” I say. “I’ve never been inside this bar before.”
“What?” he says with a raised eyebrow. “Why not? You’re legal now and could come in every day if you wanted to.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I guess it was always something we wanted to do together. There wasn’t any point in sneaking in here all by myself for a drink. It wouldn’t be the same. The whole point was seeing if we could get into a real bar. You know what I mean?”
“I do. So let’s order something we would’ve ordered way back then. Here, take a peek at the drink menu and pick out something delicious and tasty.”
He hands me a plastic menu and opens his.
“Wow,” he says a minute later with a tinge of humor in his voice. “Quite a large selection to choose from.” He clears his throat and flips the menu over to see if there are more selections on the back that he might’ve missed.
There aren’t.
“Okay,” he says. “It appears our only choice is beer, beer, and more beer. But don’t worry, there are lots of options here.” He runs his finger down the menu. “I appreciate how the choices are categorized by size instead of brand. That’s a little different. There’s a glass, a pitcher, a half-gallon, and a gallon. Too bad there’s not a barrel listed for tables of four.”
“You mean that’s not how they serve beer in the fancy places you frequent now?” I joke. “I’m game if you are. Choose something.”
“Okay, then let’s order. Do you want a glass, a pitcher, or a gallon? I think we should go all out and order a gallon jug of draft beer. Go big or go home. That’s what I say. We’ll sit here all night if we need to and get positively sloshed.”