One More Summer

by Burke, Dez

  “If he gets worse or if you need me, will you promise to call right away? I’ll answer your calls this time, I swear. Things will be different than before.”

  “Don’t worry, I will,” Cole says. “I’ll keep you informed about everything that’s happening.”

  He pulls up to the curb at the small airstrip and turns off the truck.

  “Let’s not make this a long goodbye,” I say. “You’ve got work to do on the farm.”

  Cole helps me unload my suitcase and guitar from the bed of the truck then grabs me in a quick hug. “Don’t be a stranger, Levi,” he says. “Lily loves you. We all do. She doesn’t have much family left to depend on. She needs you in her life, we all do. You’re important to us, so remember that.”

  I nod, blinking back tears. “Take care of everyone for me,” I say. “I wish things could be different.”

  “Stop wishing your life away, Levi. It’s time to make the best of the only one you’ve got.”

  42

  Levi

  “Tell me I’m not seeing a mirage?” Maverick yells out when he sees me, grinning from ear to ear. “Is that Levi Hamby in the flesh?”

  He jumps off the top step of the tour bus to greet me, holding tightly to his big black Western hat to keep it from falling into the dirt.

  “Damn, Levi!” he says, slapping me hard on the back. “I thought you were never coming back to Nashville. Me and the boys were starting to sweat wondering what the fuck we were going to do without you. Thank God we don’t need to figure that out now because I didn’t have the slightest idea. I can’t tell you how fucking glad I am to see you, buddy.”

  I laugh at his contagious enthusiasm about my return. “It’s good to see you too, Maverick. I hope you didn’t get into any trouble while I was gone.”

  “Nah, things have been pretty boring this summer,” he says. “Life at home sucks. All I’ve done is watch too much reality television and sit around the pool by my lonesome trying to get a tan. I can’t wait to get back on the road. How about you? Are you raring to go?”

  “You bet I am,” I say, lying through my teeth. “I can’t wait to get back on the stage.”

  I force a phony smile and try to appear as excited as he is about joining the tour again. While deep down inside I know it’s all a big, fat lie I’m telling everyone and myself.

  Since returning to Nashville, everything has felt forced and phony. The beautiful mansion I once thought would be my pride and joy now feels sterile and empty. After walking through it once after I returned to Nashville to check on the renovations, I moved straight into a hotel and put it up for sale.

  When I wake up in the morning now, there’s no sounds of life coming from the kitchen or the smell of bacon wafting up the stairs.

  There’s only silence to greet me.

  I’ve never felt so alone.

  I keep telling myself that once the tour starts and we’re all back on the bus, that I’ll adjust. That the empty hole inside me will be filled back up with my music and love from my fans.

  I’m not super optimistic about it happening anytime soon.

  Meanwhile Harry has been acting as if I’ve never been away. “You had me scared for a moment that you were going to back out,” he tells me as he comes up behind me and places a hand on my back to herd me into the tour bus. “I should have known you wouldn’t let us down. You’re a one-of-a-kind star. I always believed in you. You’ve got what it takes.”

  His familiar suck-up makes me want to puke. For months, I’ve had to put up with Harry yelling at me, and now we’re back to being best friends again. I’m nothing but a pile of cash to him, and I see it clearly now.

  I climb onto the tour bus behind Maverick and glance around. For some reason, it seems smaller than before, more claustrophobic.

  How did I ever spend weeks at a time on this thing without suffocating? I miss the fresh air of the farm and the big, open Georgia sky.

  Already sitting inside on the small sofa inside is one of my new backup singers. He’s young, eager, and hungry. He’s tried to copy Maverick’s style and has failed. In his grey tweed sport coat and large black-rimmed glasses, he strikes me as more hipster than country.

  He stands when I enter the bus and thrusts out his hand towards me. “Mr. Hamby, I mean Levi, I’m Joshua. It’s an honor to meet you. I can’t tell you how excited I am to be working with you and the band. I won’t let you down.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do a fine job,” I tell him. “Is this your first time on the road?”

  He nods quickly. “Yes, sir. I’m ready to go. I’m a fast learner and a hard worker.”

  “Alright then. That’s all I need to know. We’ll get along just fine.”

  I look around the bus again at my companions for the next six months. There’s hot-blooded Maverick, always ready for a party, newbie Joshua who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s gotten himself into, and Harry, who’s jerking all our strings like a puppet master.

  I settle down on the seat next to Joshua, and the driver sets off.

  “We’re starting off the second leg in Virginia,” Harry tells me, “then making our way down to the Carolinas, then the east coast of Florida. We’ll stay four days in Miami to give everyone a quick breather and a chance to hit the beaches.”

  “I can’t wait,” Maverick says. “The women in Miami are hot!” He lets out a low whistle. “And always up for a good time if you know what I mean. Those Miami girls know how to party.”

  “Sounds like my kind of place,” Joshua says, his face lighting up. “When are the parties?”

  Maverick leans forward with a wicked grin. “Every fucking night is a party, my friend. Every damn night.” He leans over and slaps Joshua on the leg. “Glad you’re with us. I need a new running buddy, since old stick-in-the-mud Levi over there has given up his partying ways.”

  The two start up a long conversation about what Joshua can expect with life on the road and the upcoming nights loaded with never-ending alcohol and women. I quickly tune them out.

  Harry squeezes himself onto the sofa beside me. When I don’t say anything, he nudges me with his elbow.

  “What’s wrong, Levi? You’re not getting cold feet on us now, are you? You’re committed to the tour, so it’s too late to back out.”

  I stretch out my long legs and lean back against the seat. “No, I’m just a little tired from the trip. It’s taking me a while to get back into the right mindset. I’ll be okay once we start performing.”

  Harry raises his pale eyebrows at me and gives me a doubtful stare. “I hope so because if you’re going to be here, I need to see one hundred percent every day. Just like you’ve always given. It’s the only way to assure a successful tour. Otherwise your fans will know something is wrong and they’ll feel cheated. And we all know the last thing you need right now is a bunch of pissed-off fans.”

  “I hear you, don’t worry.”

  “There’s no use in letting your mind wander back to Georgia too much,” he continues, not picking up on my mood. “You went home and did your duty as a good son. Now you need to get your head back in the game. You’re in the big leagues here, Levi. You do well on this tour, and you’ll be set for the rest of your life with more money than you can spend.”

  I don’t respond. My mind is a million miles away.

  Harry carries on. “You need to forget about that girl too. I know in the heat of the moment that a fine woman can seem as if she’s one in a million, but I promise you there are millions more just like her.” He pats my back reassuringly. “Once we get you out and about, you’ll soon forget all about her. She seemed nice enough when I talked to her on the phone, but why settle down with one woman when you can have them all?”

  I’ve about had it with Harry and his bullshit. The bus hasn’t even made it out of the parking lot yet and he’s trying to control everything I do and feel.

  “Would you stop, Harry?” I snap at him in irritation. “I don’t need this. You wanted me back, and I’m here.
I don’t need you to give me a pep talk. And I don’t want to hear another word about Annie. Not one fucking word. You got it? She’s off limits from now on. So don’t even start.”

  Harry’s mouth opens in surprise at my outburst. He lifts a finger in warning towards me, as though he’s going to let me have it, then lets it drop slowly.

  “I’ll give you that one for free, Levi, since I know you’ve had a stressful summer, but don’t let me hear that shit again. Don’t forget who made you and can break you in a heartbeat.”

  He gets up in a huff and heads to the back of the bus, leaving me sitting alone.

  Maverick, who’s overheard our conversation, takes Harry’s spot beside me. “What the hell has gotten into you? I’ve never heard you talk that way to Harry. You know how he is. Just ignore him if he starts getting on your nerves. Damn, Levi! It’s not worth it to fuck things up and cause tension. Just let it go.”

  “I’m sick of him always trying to control me,” I say. “He doesn’t give a fuck about me as a person. The only thing he cares about is the money from the tour. If I lose my family and girlfriend in the process, it’s nothing to him.”

  “That’s part of his job,” Maverick says. “He’s just taking care of the business side of things. We all know better than to pay much attention to anything he says. Normally you’d let it roll right off your back. Are things not going well with your father?”

  My shoulders slump, and I put my head in my hands. “Things are bad.”

  Maverick gives my shoulder a comforting pat. “Six months isn’t a long time. It’ll fly by. Let’s get this tour done and you can go home with a few more million in your pocket.”

  “Six months might as well be a lifetime to me right now,” I say with a long sigh.

  43

  Levi

  The next night I’m on stage for the first time on the new tour. The blinding lights are shining in my eyes. The weight of my guitar is familiar in my hands. The roar of the excited crowd rings in my ears.

  I’m singing my heart out and giving it all I’ve got.

  Yet…it doesn’t bring the joy it once did.

  I find myself looking out over the crowd scanning every single face, hoping to see Annie, but knowing I won’t. It hits me that everyone out there is a stranger. Not a single person is someone I can call in the middle of the night or who would feel comfortable calling me if they needed a real friend to confide in.

  The realization makes me feel hollow inside.

  We play a set with a mix of songs from both bestselling albums and take one last bow when we’re finished. Exhausted and soaked with sweat, I make my way into the wings where Harry is waiting. The argument of earlier seems to be forgotten as he pumps the air with his fist in uncontained excitement.

  “Levi!” He yells. “What a show. What a damn show! Whatever you did tonight, just keep on doing it. Don’t change a thing. You had the fans eating out of your hands with every song. The little trip down to Georgia must’ve done you a world of good. Or maybe it was your hot summer fling with that gal. When you sing about lost love now, every woman out there believes you’re singing straight to her. Next show we should hand out complimentary boxes of tissues for their crying eyes.”

  I sit down on an empty chair in the hallway and accept a bottle of water from an assistant. I drink deeply from the bottle, quenching my thirst, but not my longing to be back in Monroe. I run a tired hand through my hair and lean back to catch my breath.

  Maverick appears at my side and nudges me. “Harry’s right, you know. There was something else in the way you sang tonight. That girl has got under your skin.” He pauses, scrutinizing me carefully. “Don’t go running off again, though. She’s not going anywhere and will still be there when you get back. We need you more than she does right now, buddy. Listen to your fans out there screaming your name.”

  He waves toward the black curtains on the side of the stage through where I can still hear the cheering of the crowd on the other side. It’s the sound that always sends my heart racing, but tonight, I don’t feel the thrill.

  I feel only doubt and an unbearable emptiness.

  This isn’t how I imagined things to be.

  44

  Annie

  Five weeks later…

  The long days and weeks following Levi’s departure drag by. To keep my mind off Levi, I offer to pick up double shifts at the pharmacy whenever I can. My co-workers are thrilled with the extra time off since many have husbands and kids waiting for them at home.

  I know that sitting around thinking about what might have been won’t do me any good and will only bring me down even more.

  The first few days after Levi’s return to Nashville, we talked on the phone every night the way we planned. We were both upbeat and optimistic that we could make a long-distance relationship work.

  After all, other celebrities do it all the time, we constantly reminded each other. We were careful not to mention the numerous celebrity breakups in the news every single day.

  Then once his tour started and he hit the road, our phone calls became quick texts back and forth, in between my customers at the pharmacy and his rehearsals.

  The nightly phone calls went to every other night, then every few days. We reached each other’s voicemail so many times that we gave up trying since it was frustrating us both.

  Now five long weeks into his concert tour, it seems we’re never free at the same moment to connect anymore. By the time his concerts are over and he’s back in a hotel room or on the tour bus heading to the next destination, I’m sound asleep. Or already on my way to work early the next morning.

  He’s a night owl and I’m a working girl doing a regular shift.

  At home and in the car, I listen to his music continuously, terrified that if I don’t, I’ll begin to forget the sound of his deep voice. I’ve even saved several of his voicemails on my cellphone for the same reason. Whenever I’m sad or lonely, I close my eyes and replay them, pretending he’s there with me.

  As much as I hate to admit it, I’m sensing a widening distance moving between us. I’m sure he realizes it too. There’s no way he couldn’t.

  Neither of us will dare to bring it up because that would make it real and something that we need to deal with.

  If I broach the subject, he’ll either make light of it and laugh it off or confirm my worst fear. That we’ll never be able to make this work and we’ll truly be over.

  Instead we both continue to put on happy faces by punctuating our two-line texts with overexaggerated smiley face icons and exclamation marks. “Miss you!” we say back and forth to each other. We pretend everything is just fine when our relationship is going to hell.

  Trying to keep a long-distance relationship going through auto-corrected texts back and forth isn’t a life. I might as well be talking to a random faceless dude I meet on the internet. The emotional connection isn’t there anymore.

  It doesn’t feel real to me.

  Maybe it isn’t.

  Or never was.

  Doubts fill my mind now. I can’t help wondering how much longer we can keep this up. Levi’s manager keeps him running from daylight to dark doing promotional events when he’s not making music. The hours I’m working at the pharmacy is exhausting me too.

  Discouraged, I open my laptop and against my better judgement, type in his name. I know I shouldn’t be Googling him. It’s like seeing a car wreck on the side of the road. You know you shouldn’t look, and you don’t want to, but you can’t help yourself. You can’t tear your eyes away even knowing you might see something bad.

  This is no different.

  I have a burning need to know what’s going on in Levi’s life. A life that clearly doesn’t include me now.

  I take a deep breath and hit the return button on my laptop.

  Tons of search listings fill the page…news articles, videos, and his social media links. The newspaper articles talk about how his concert dates are all sold out months in advance. If an
ything, his absence this summer from the public eye has made him more popular and in demand than ever before.

  After a half-hour of skimming the gossip about him, most of which I know for a fact isn’t true, I stop reading. I’m not sure what I was hoping to find in the first place.

  Or afraid to find would be a more accurate statement.

  I can’t let myself turn into a crazy stalker woman who expects him to explain every comment left on his social media or photos in the tabloids. If I’m not careful, our situation will turn me into someone I don’t want to be.

  No matter what, I can’t let this situation with Levi change who I am.

  I sigh as I push my laptop shut, then lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Two hours later, I’m still wide awake and thinking of Levi. I roll over and switch on the bedroom lamp. It’s after midnight. There’s a chance I might be able to catch him on the tour bus if I call now.

  I reach over and pick up my cellphone.

  45

  Levi

  I’m lying on my private bunk in the tour bus with the blackout curtain pulled around me. Though it’s almost one am, I’m not sleepy.

  The lack of privacy on the tour bus gets to me sometimes, with never having a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts. Pretending to sleep is the only way I can grab a few minutes of peace in the cramped quarters.

  My cellphone begins to buzz beside me. I pick it up and see that it’s Annie trying to start a video call.

  It’s late for her to be calling. She should be in bed fast asleep by now.

  Something must be wrong.

  My heart skips a beat in panic. I swipe my thumb upwards and answer. When I see her, my heart aches.