A Stolen Kiss (Victorian Love Book 1)

by M. A. Nichols

  Jack watched as Lily whispered something to the young girl on her lap, and the child beamed and hugged the doll tightly.

  “They are the best of people,” added Mrs. Halliday with that challenging air, and Jack gave the woman a nod in acknowledgment of the unspoken threat filling her tone. Jack had every intention of being a good husband to Lily.

  The pair returned to their silent observations of the joyful chaos. Jack couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt an urge to play, but part of his soul longed to join in the melee. It was a ridiculous impulse, as he hadn’t the foggiest notion how to. The harshness of life had destroyed such childishness in him, and he hadn’t mourned its loss for many a year; it was unnerving to have that sentiment reappear now.

  “Who is that lad?” asked Jack, nodding at the one-armed child with eyes far older than his years.

  “Gregor Jones,” replied Mrs. Halliday. Though she did not add to that statement, her tone spoke of affection burdened by worry.

  “Is he ill?”

  Mrs. Halliday’s brows rose. “No, sir, he is a robust child.”

  Seeing that his first guess was wrong, Jack clarified himself. “You sounded concerned about him, and with his injury, I had thought—”

  But Mrs. Halliday shook her head with a sad smile as she watched Gregor hovering in a quiet corner of the room. “It does not pain him any longer. He lost his arm when it was crushed by a carriage, and it has healed nicely. It is not his health that has me concerned.”

  The matron was quiet for a long while, her expression growing more lined and tense as she watched the boy who sat apart from the others. Though the rest of the children varied in the games they played and the volume with which they did so, they each took part in the fun. Gregor simply watched from his seat, his eyes never leaving the others, and his shuttered expression never changing.

  “Six months ago, I found Gregor living on the street not far from here. His family had abandoned him to his own devices after the accident as they could not afford to feed someone who could not work,” said Mrs. Halliday. Her expression grew stonier, though her gaze softened as it rested on the poor boy. “We do our best to train the children and find them positions when it is time for them to leave our home, and many of them thrive. But what can we do when the children have injuries so great that they cannot hope to perform the tasks required of a laborer or soldier? And even if their abilities are not hindered by their physical imperfection, too many employers will not hire an impaired worker when they can have a whole one.”

  Mrs. Halliday sighed. “I fret over all the children in my care, Mr. Hatcher, but those like Gregor cause me the most distress. It is difficult to ensure that each is provided with gainful employment, but with such an impediment, it is near impossible. We try to keep them on as teachers or servants, but we cannot help them all, and too many end up as beggars on the street.”

  Though Mrs. Halliday made a good show of keeping her emotions tamped, there was a hint of shine to her eyes. “We have saved Gregor for now, but I fear it is only delaying the inevitable.”

  Jack’s throat tightened as he listened to Mrs. Halliday, his heart straining against his constricting chest. No wonder Gregor had such an air of hopelessness to him. He was old enough to understand what his family had done and what the future held for him. The way he’d snatched that sweet bespoke of one who had learned the hard realities of life and the fear that comes with knowing how quickly life can take away even the smallest of joys. No child should bear such sorrow.

  Pulling a calling card and pencil from his pocket, Jack scribbled a name and direction on the back of it and handed it to Mrs. Halliday.

  “Mr. Shiller can assist you,” said Jack.

  Mrs. Halliday took the card in her hands, examining the inscription and note. Glancing at Jack with a clear question written on her face, she waited for him to explain. Though he preferred Mr. Shiller to handle the details, Jack knew more words were necessary.

  “He heads a charity that finds work for those with injuries or other physical limitations,” said Jack. “He will assist you with Gregor and any other children when they are ready to join the workforce.”

  Eyes widening a fraction, Mrs. Halliday straightened as she stared at the card and then at Jack. But then her brows drew together in a hard pull. “But is he an honest and respectable man? There are plenty who claim to be charitable but are far from it—”

  Jack raised a staying hand. “He was a fellow naval man who lost a leg during his time at sea, and when he was unable to manage aboard a ship, he was cast adrift with no means of supporting himself or his family.”

  His jaw tensed at the memory of finding the Shiller family wasting away in the workhouse. “He is the best of men, and I wouldn’t have given him stewardship over that enterprise if he weren’t.”

  Gripping the card in one hand, Mrs. Halliday offered the other, shaking Jack’s hand.

  Chapter 14

  “Put the doll in the basket, Hetty,” said Lily, pointing to the toy that had been tucked in the far corner of the room. “Julius, gather the soldiers.”

  It took quite a bit of prompting from both Lily and Mrs. Bonneville before all the items were stowed into the basket, and a part of Lily’s heart broke at the sad eyes that watched her as she lifted the bundle.

  “We are not leaving the toys?” asked Mr. Hatcher. His question startled her; not the words themselves but that the last she had seen him, he had been standing on the other side of the room, deep in conversation with Mrs. Halliday.

  Mr. Hatcher took the basket from her. The gentleman did not even recognize that once again he’d acted without so much as a question. Lily knew it was petty to be bothered over such a little thing, but it was yet another sign of Mr. Hatcher’s heavy-handedness.

  However, Lily was equally annoyed at how grateful she was for that heavy-handed assistance. Even with the sweets distributed, the basket was quite ungainly and difficult to manage such a distance. And it was flattering that he did so without prompting. Perhaps it was her less than delicate frame that made others believe she did not need assistance, but even the most proper gentlemen forgot their manners when in her company and did not think to offer.

  “I wish we could,” said Lily. Little Daisy toddled over to her, wrapping her arms around Lily’s skirts. Bending to lift the darling, she gave the child a hug farewell. “However, they do not have the space to store such things. They can house more children if they keep the unessentials to a minimum.”

  “Miss Kingsley brings us the toys and lets us borrow them,” said William, rubbing his nose on his cuff.

  “Absolutely not,” said Lily, shaking her head in mock solemnity. “They are your toys. I am merely holding them for you.”

  William gave her a gapped tooth grin, which helped to lighten her heart. Spending time with the children was such a boon to her spirits, but the initial parting was equally disheartening. They deserved so much more happiness than the foundling home could give them. A child should have toys and treats. They should be loved. Each time, she found herself wishing she could take them all home with her or that she might be able to spend more time with them, but it was not possible. Lily did what she could and gave what she had, but she did not have a limitless supply of time or funds.

  Mr. Hatcher helped her with her jacket, and Lily pulled on her gloves and bonnet as those thoughts pulled her into new worries. The list of things needing her attention grew as the charity concert drew closer. Lily had organized such events before, but that did not stop a shiver settling into her stomach.

  There was so much to be done. Her mind played through the people she needed to speak with and the various tasks she had volunteered to oversee, and it was a good long moment before she realized that Mr. Hatcher was waiting for her as she stood there like a statue.

  Lily stepped forward but halted as she recalled the caramel in her pocket. Mrs. Bonneville had the children in hand and seated on their benches, their attention on their lesson. Gregor
sat as far from the others as the tiny benches would allow. The poor lad refused to join in with the other children, but that did not mean that he should be denied everything.

  With quiet steps, Lily snuck to his side and crouched to place the sweet on the bench beside him. His eyes darted to hers, his expression not changing from the blank one he always affected, though there was a hint of warmth and gratitude in his eyes. He spoke not a word, simply held her gaze as though that might convey all that was going on in his head, and Lily squeezed his remaining hand before slipping away.

  Mr. Hatcher stood in the doorway, watching the pair of them, and when Lily caught sight of the expression on his face, her steps faltered. It was not so much that it showed any warmth or sorrow or emotion of any sort, but it was as though a grown version of Gregor stood before her. Even that same hint of something stirring inside him as he watched her. It broke her heart as verily as those young, sad eyes had seconds ago.

  Stepping past Mr. Hatcher, Lily made her way down the stairs and onto the sidewalk as the gentleman trailed behind her. With a lift of his arm, he offered it to her, and Lily took it. The pair retraced their steps home in silence. It had hardly been more than a few hours since she had despised the gentleman at her side, and now, Lily wasn’t certain what she felt or even what she wished to feel towards him.

  “I see why you enjoy visiting the children,” said Mr. Hatcher.

  “Then it was not a waste of time?”

  His brow furrowed. “I never called it a waste—”

  “I was teasing you, Mr. Hatcher.”

  And though he did not push the previous subject, her words did not ease the unhappy pull of his expression. Lily thought through her words, trying to identify what it was that had disturbed him so, though perhaps disturbed was too great a word for it. She wished she understood the gentleman’s moods, but they were difficult to decipher.

  Finally, when no answer came to her, Lily decided that a more direct approach could not hurt things. At worst, they would argue once more, but as she had already weathered several of those, another did not matter much.

  “Are you angry with me?”

  Mr. Hatcher’s brows rose, and he glanced at her. “No.”

  Lily sighed at that, for it was clearly untrue. Or not the whole of it.

  “You insist on calling me ‘Mr.’”

  That revelation was startling enough that Lily halted, but the sidewalks were filling with people, and there was no place for them to stand. Luckily, the park was in sight, and she waited until they were out of the way to pull him to the side so that she could face him. Though his expression did not tell her much, it was easier than speaking to his profile.

  “And that angers you?” she asked.

  “As I said before, I am not angry,” he said with a huff.

  Looking at the hard lines of his face, Lily thought that was precisely what he was, but instinct whispered to her, insisting he was being truthful. Mr. Hatcher may be frustrating and difficult, but the more she spoke with him, the more she felt to her bones that he was an honest man. If anything, he was too free with those honest thoughts at times.

  So, she studied his expression and thought over what had been said. The more she pondered, the more Lily wondered if he might be upset—hurt, even. She had seen a glimpse of it earlier, and there it was again.

  “But it does bother you.”

  Though she had posed the question, Lily did not fully expect an answer, but he met her gaze and said, “Yes.”

  Lily’s head tilted to the side as she watched him. She felt as though she were standing in a museum, examining a fine work of art. Not that his features were particularly handsome—though Lily saw a definite appeal to his strong features—but that she found herself studying every aspect of his face, hunting for the little signs of the emotions he kept so securely locked away.

  “Why does it bother you that I prefer a bit of formality when I hardly know you—engaged or not?” she asked.

  A twitch at the corner of his lips. The slightest tightening at his eyes. There were clear indications of something happening inside his skull, and Lily felt an urge to shake it loose. He stood there in silence for so long that she assumed he would not answer.

  “You treat me like a fool,” he said.

  Straightening, she asked, “How so?”

  “Do you think I cannot see that you do not plan to honor our engagement?”

  “Why would you say that?” Of course, it was the truth, but that was not of the utmost concern at present. Lily was more startled at his question’s sudden appearance in their conversation.

  “If this engagement were real to you, you would not snap at me every time I use your given name nor insist on keeping me at a distance in this most basic manner. You hold to such formality because you view this as a temporary irritant and not a true betrothal.”

  Lily’s eyes widened, her breathing paused as she watched him, but it wasn’t the surprise of having her plans being revealed that held her captive. Mr. Hatcher was no fool, and she had not hidden her feelings concerning this unwanted turn of events. Simply recalling the forthright manner with which she had rebuffed him during their last outing was enough to bring a flush to her cheeks.

  But Lily never imagined it would bother him.

  “Why does it matter?” asked Lily. “Neither of us wished for this engagement.”

  She had posed a similar question to him not long ago, and he had not been forthcoming then, so she did not know why she thought to get an answer now. But this was not a question posed in anger or thrown out like a challenge. Lily truly wished to know his reasons, for she was at a loss to understand him. And at that moment, she longed to.

  There was a shift in his expression, faint and slight enough that it was a mystery to her. But in his eyes, she saw a growing warmth. Mr. Hatcher’s gaze held such power to it, and it was turned fully on her. Lily’s heart stuttered in her chest, though she could not tell if it was simply a responding echo of the passion they’d shared that one glorious moment or if her heart was truly drawn to him.

  There were too many doubts and questions clogging her thoughts to see the truth. Was Mr. Hatcher acting only out of duty? Her mind said yes, but staring into his eyes, she felt a resounding “no” in her heart. But that could merely be her ridiculous sentimentality inferring more than was truly there. Was this real?

  Did she wish it to be? That was a complex question in its own right, but trapped as she was in that heated gaze, Lily wanted to lean in and close the distance once more. Those few moments of tender delight in the library had not been enough—especially not with his heated gaze fixed on her.

  “Lily…”

  This time his use of her name didn’t raise her hackles. Lily had never heard it spoken in such a perfect manner before.

  The pair stood there, ignorant of the passing crowds and carriages, and Lily stepped towards him.

  And Mr. Hatcher stepped away.

  That doused the fire in her chest as readily as a bucket of water. Lily watched him as he cleared his throat and turned his eyes away from her. If Lily were a silly creature, she may have even said that his cheeks held a touch of pink to them, but she knew better than to think Mr. Hatcher felt anything akin to embarrassment.

  “My reasons are my own,” he said in much the same manner as he had before. “They are immaterial as we are engaged and breaking it off would be detrimental to your reputation. We must make the best of it, and we cannot do that if you insist on treating me like a slight acquaintance.”

  Make the best of it… That was what he was doing. That is all, so why should she be so pudding-headed and think that anything more lay beneath it?

  Lily’s stomach hardened and sunk as she realized she’d made a fool of herself once again. At least she had stopped short of throwing herself into his arms and kissing him. But that was a small consolation. She seemed determined to make herself utterly ridiculous by accosting a man who had demonstrated nothing but a mild interest in he
r.

  But even that was not entirely true. It was a mild interest in protecting her reputation. Nothing more.

  Only a few more weeks before her parents returned home, and this whole situation would be resolved. A few weeks more of playacting. That was all, and Lily could not afford to forget it.

  *

  “...make the best of it?” Had those words truly come from his lips? That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever said in the entirety of his life. It was as though the words had formed of their own volition. And though Jack prided himself on his honesty, they were entirely false.

  Shaking his head at himself, Jack was at a loss to understand where his good sense had gone. He could not remember the last time he’d lost possession of his words or actions, yet he seemed to be struggling with both today.

  He should have kissed her. Oh, how he had wanted to. Jack wished he could claim that prudence had kept him from making a spectacle of themselves in a public place, but when he had stood there, staring into her eyes, he hadn’t been aware of anything else in the world apart from Lily. Her eyes had begged him to close the distance, and Jack didn’t know what had possessed him to step away and speak those idiotic words.

  The more he came to know Lily, the more he realized that their meeting had been nothing short of providential. Of course, their situation was less than ideal. Namely, that his betrothed was determined to throw him over.

  As Lily had said, the gossip would die away. The details behind their engagement would fade, and though breaking with him would not reflect well on her, it was a storm she could weather. With time, the arguments that had pushed her to accept his suit would lose their power.

  And Jack could not force her to the altar, though that idea had some merit. An irrational, ridiculous part of him had begun to take control and shouted at him to secure Lily by any means necessary. But sanity held sway, beating that lunacy back into the dark corners of his mind. Jack simply had to find some way to convince her that marrying him was for the best. Somehow.