by Mia Villano
“Had to get home for a booty call. I will call you. Let’s shop. Luvs you.”
So heartbroken. I stayed in bed all day, which was not something I did. I went back to bed after I showered and stayed there until dark. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even Beulah or Thomas. I thought it was odd that I hadn’t heard from either of them, so I checked my phone and noticed it was still off. I had turned my phone off after I called Thomas the night before and never turned it back on. Shit! Alex had called several times and left a voicemail.
“I hope you are okay. I hated leaving things that way so I’m heading back to your place-it’s midnight now I should be there,” and that was that. He must have come back and seen another car in my driveway. Shit. Shit. Shit. Should I call or text him to explain? Should I let it go? I decided to wait and let him call me again. And then, I waited and waited.
Chapter Seven
They say time heals all wounds. Time allowed me to forget the life I lived in Ohio. The pain I felt every day has been all-but forgotten thanks to years of intense therapy. I remember the constant struggle and the fear of not knowing what was going to happen at any moment. Would my mom run off and leave me or turn up dead after an all-night binge? Different smells and places brought back a flood of memories either good or bad. Wounds like these will take time to heal. As for Alex, he never did call. I had waited and waited for nothing. Alex Conrad had walked out on me and that was that. And after weeks of crying myself to sleep and incessantly checking for missed calls, I finally gave up all hope. I finally realized that Alex was done with me after one night.
Weeks passed, and spring filled the air. Cherry blossoms were in full bloom in Washington D.C. But I couldn’t even enjoy them. Depressed from missing Alex, and devastated by what had happened between us, the beautiful days slipped by unnoticed. I worked out, finished law school in record time, and worked as much as possible. I did fine during the day and got through. Lying in bed alone and thinking of him fucking a supermodel, or God forbid Jade, kept me tossing and turning most of the night. Coffee kept me going during the day and my lack of caloric intake had Beulah worried that I lost too much weight. Her solution to this problem? An intervention, in the form of a party. Not just any party, but a huge, over the top-everyone-is-talking-about-it party. Beulah used my graduation from law school as an excuse to invite one hundred of her closest friends and family to a party in my honor.
Beulah was so proud of my accomplishment and she wanted everyone to know. So she forced me to get my hair styled, my nails done, and of course a spray tan. She bought me a gunmetal gray Chanel strapless dress and black heels. The dress looked amazing against my long red hair, even though I had become rail-thin. With my hair styled in a loose, messy bun, and strands hanging in a frame around my face, I certainly felt beautiful.
Thomas was the first guest to arrive. He found me out in the gigantic, circus sized, tent having a glass of champagne and watching the band set up. Yes, she’d hired a band too.
“Jesus Christ, woman do you even have a clue how hot you are right now?” he asked as he kissed me. He looked damn good himself with his Armani suit and blonde hair, stylishly messy. Bruce accompanied him and was just as breathtaking, with his jet-black hair skimming his collar, gray suit with no tie, and of course very expensive shoes.
My dad, his wife, and my half-brother and sister flew in from California just for this special day, and I couldn’t have been happier. I will always be grateful to Beulah for finding him and making sure we had a relationship. To actually see my dad for the first time and hug him was something I never dreamed I would experience. My mom, always insisted, she didn’t know who my father could be. But I knew right away. Not only did we have the same hair color but in my gut I sensed it was him. Now we talked at least once a week.
The night was nowhere near complete. The two people I missed the most weren’t there: Mom and Alex. Beulah had sent my mom an invitation, but like everything else we sent her, it was ignored. No matter how old I got, and how far from Ohio I moved, I secretly hoped that one day she would show up, ask about me, and want to see me. I was sure Alex had no intention of ever seeing me again.
I ate that night without getting sick, and the food tasted wonderful. Beulah had my favorites catered: roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts and of course, blackberry cobbler. As the night progressed, I found myself thinking less of Alex and enjoying the party. Victoria showed up alone, and I introduced her to Beulah. They hit it off well, even making a lunch date. Once everyone ate and started drinking, the dancing began. I was happy until Alex crossed my mind when the band began to play “Unforgettable.” I wanted to cry as I watched everyone dance with someone. Bruce and Thomas held each other tight and danced as I allowed myself to remember election night when I danced in Alex’s arms to the same song.
Then I smelled him and soon I felt him behind me.
“Dance with me.” Alex had come after all.
I turned around abruptly. My heart skipped a beat when I looked at him. It had been months since I saw him, yet he looked better than I remembered. His hair styled perfect, and his lips seemed fuller and more delicious. I was instantly aroused. I couldn’t help myself.
“Alex? What are you doing here?”
Music played off in the distance. Around me, people were talking and laughing. But in the middle of it, it was just the two of us. I became lost in the moment.
“Your Grandmother invited me to celebrate this wonderful day with you. Congratulations, Prudence. You accomplished something not too many people can do. Dance with me. Come on, this is our song. I had to bribe the guy up there to play it for me at just the right time,” he said, unable to take his eyes off me. The sound of his husky voice brought me out of my daze.
He held out his hands just as he had the night of the election and pulled me close. He was wearing his black blazer and khaki pants that were to be his official Alex uniform. His scent intoxicated me as I melted into his arms and felt his heat warm my burning body. He led the dance with confidence and grace. This dance felt different from the last one we’d shared. He was more commanding, more in control, and it felt more sexual.
“You are breathtaking tonight. I love the dress and the color is something else. You look as if you lost too much weight though,” he whispered in my ear.
“Thank you. I have been working out a lot. Why are you here? I made a total ass of myself, and I have not heard from you for months. By the way, why did you call me that night so many times? I got a voice mail, but I could barely make it out” I asked as I laid my head on his shoulder. His blazer was cashmere and so soft and warm. His scent was embedded in every fiber. I loved how his arms held me tight against him. I felt his muscles bulging under his coat. My entire body relaxed to him. It was as if I had been on a journey far away, and I was finally home when he held me.
“What happened that night was not your fault, Prudence. You did not make an ass of yourself. You were anything but an ass. I called you because I drove to God knows where and wanted to come back and see if you were okay. I left you sitting there and didn’t realize how I may have hurt you. I have been trying to forget that night and have thrown myself into my work to keep you out of my mind. I was doing a good job, until I got this invitation from your grandmother. Once again, you’re all I thought about. I had to come,” he said as we danced. The band played another song that kept us pressed together. The surrounding noise seemed muffled, and I focused on the moment that seemed so right.
“Did you come back to my condo?” I asked, wanting to know if he did turn around.
“I did, and there was a car in your driveway, so I went home. I didn’t want to disturb you if you had called someone over,” he said. I pushed closer to his body and could feel his cock getting harder the closer he got.
“I did call someone, but not what you think. My best friend is Thomas. He stayed with me that night because I was upset. I wish you hadn’t come here tonight Alex. I just got your smell and y
our voice out of my head and now here you are making me want you,” I said, trying not to look at him.
His arms tightened around me, bringing me closer to him as my heart raced. My head started pounding as the blood rushed through my veins and my breath gasped in my chest. We were once again in our own world. It was a world I never wanted to leave. This just showed me how much I missed him and how much I needed to make love to this incredible man. We danced in silence and I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.
“Oh Prudence, what you do to me. I can’t even touch you or look at you without wanting you. I know you can feel me right now and how hard I am. I’m so hungry for you, for all of you. It’s crazy and I can’t explain it. This is the reason I stay away. Everything about you overwhelms me, and it’s wrong,” he said as we continued our slow dance together. He grabbed the back of my dress pushing me closer and then he began to push away from me.
“I don’t understand why wanting me is so wrong, Alex. Our hearts and bodies can’t help what we feel. Why am I so off limits to you? I’m here for your taking now and always. My body wants you right now and I feel like this with only you.” I was becoming pissed off at his resistance and teasing.
The music stopped, and his arms released me. He stood back and looked at me with that look in his eyes that he had the night we were together in my condo-passion and fear.
“It is not right. It is not right that I keep doing this to you either. It’s not fair to you for me to want you, and push you away. You are too special and wonderful for that. You are like a drug to me that I cannot get enough of. I know having you is wrong, but the need to have you is so strong, that I have to have just a little of you. Don’t you see? We can’t even dance together without wanting each other. It is too soon. It is too much. I’m sorry, again. I should not have come here tonight. I thought maybe seeing you in person would be different. The connection with you is even stronger, Prudence.”
“Then, why are you fighting it?” My temper was getting the best of me. My voice started shaking as I looked at this man who tore my heart out whenever he came around me. Whatever it was between us couldn’t be broken, though he kept fighting it. The music started again and this time we just stood there. I saw Thomas watching us out of the corner of my eye, ready to step in at any moment.
“I have to go. I’m sorry again. It’s just too much for me being around you. I just—I cannot do this. Prudence, please tell Beulah thank you and congratulations. I’m so proud of you. You are now a full-fledged lawyer. You are so smart and so talented along with beautiful and sexy. I just have to go,” he said as he pried his eyes off me, turned, and walked off. I didn’t follow him. I didn’t beg him to stay. I stood there, and I watched Alex, once again, leave me. Once again my soul broke.
Within seconds, Thomas held me as I cried into his neck, not wanting anyone to see my misery on my special day. I didn’t want Beulah to see me upset when she went to so much trouble to make this special for me. She had no idea that inviting him all, but ruined my evening. I saw people looking my way and whispering. I wanted to disappear.
“Shush now, honey. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said as he rocked me in his arms. Nothing more needed to be said. He walked me out of the tent. We went outside to be alone. He handed me a glass of wine, and I downed it in one long sip. He gave me a Kleenex, and I wiped the tears from my eyes and face.
“I’m such an idiot to keep wanting him over and over, and he keeps fucking walking away,” I cried, trying not to let the other guests see my heartbreak or hear my language.
“You have to let it go, Prude. It is not going to change. He is always going to see you as a little girl, and that is what is holding him back, honey,” said Thomas, holding me tight in his arms.
“Why? I don’t understand. We are meant to be together. I feel it, and I see it in his eyes.”
“I can’t answer that, honey. You have to move on and get your mind off of him.”
“I don’t want to Thomas. He is my mind, my heart and my entire being. I don’t know how to explain it. I can’t describe it. He’s part of me, and when he does this, a part of me dies,” I continued to cry. I covered my face in the Kleenex to muffle my sobbing.
“You have to let it go, honey. You have to live without him,” said Thomas, still holding me tight again.
“I don’t think I can.” I cried.
Bruce came up, took over, and held me to him for a while. Thomas went and got us a bottle of champagne to share. It helped calm me down and forget about the man I wanted more than anything or anyone. I tried to shake off the pain, to enjoy my party and be thankful of the people that came to celebrate with me. It was hard, but after a few more glasses of champagne, I was doing better. The party was ending, and I excused myself for a while to freshen up and try to get myself together. Thomas followed me to my room, and he helped me with my makeup. In no time, I looked somewhat improved. I spent the rest of the night with my dad and his family. Luckily, my dad knew nothing about the connection between Alex and me. After a few more glasses of wine, I felt better. I was determined to drown the thoughts of Alex that night.
Once again, he tore my heart out as he teased me with possibilities, and then left me. Why couldn’t he stay away? If he left me alone, I could get past this. I needed to stay away from him and get on with my life. I acted like a hopeless little girl in love, and it was getting me nowhere. Victoria would have ripped his balls off by now, and be disappointed in me. I had to get tough, and I had to say enough.
***
I made it through Christmas and New Year’s, unhappy, but trying to make the best of it. The rest of the winter I kept busy with my job and a short trip I took to see my dad in San Diego. I had a good time, but once I got back, the memories of Alex hit me hard. I found myself obsessively watching the local channel when the Senate was in session. I looked for him everywhere I went. Everything I did I had him on my mind.
I threw myself into studying for the bar exam, and to my surprise, I passed it on the first try. It was hard as hell, and studying for it, even harder. It consumed my every free moment for a while, which was a good thing.
Victoria’s firm offered me an entry-level job under her guidance. To me, having her as my mentor was a great part of the salary. With a substantial figure offered to me, I was on top of the world, career wise. Everything fell into place. There was one thing missing, and that one thing was pretty big. The thought of Alex Conrad was always there, making me realize that everything was not perfect. I longed for his lips, his hands, and his body.
The day after a huge thunderstorm that knocked down trees and power lines everywhere, Victoria asked me to lunch. I was surprised because she never eats lunch, and never with someone in the office. I felt honored and taken back by her being so forward. She asked me-or rather told me-we were doing lunch early that morning. She looked frazzled, which was odd for a woman such as herself. Nothing ever got to her, or at least that is how she came across. I didn’t even know if she had a husband or children, or anything about her outside work. She showed no emotion except when she was in court, and then it was one emotion, anger. She has never been sorry for a client, just the need to get revenge, or justice, and intimidation.
We took her black four-door Porsche to a very elegant restaurant called, the Blue Basil Grill. It was frequented by the elite of Washington DC. I had never been in there myself, but I had heard it is the place to be if you were anybody in Washington. The place was a simple brick building with ivy growing up the front of it and a blue awning that said its name. Once inside, the restaurant was amazing. It was dark, and the walls were brick with paintings by local artists. Blue tablecloths covered each table, which held a candle in the middle. When we got there, the restaurant was not busy because it was earlier than the normal lunch hour. I ordered a salad, and she ordered a steak and a large glass of wine. I was shocked.
I was worried when we got settled in, thinking maybe this was her way of firing me. The days working flashed in my head as I
tried to think if I had been doing something wrong. I couldn’t come up with anything, except for my friendship with Thomas, whom she hated.
“Is this my firing lunch or something, Victoria?” I asked, sipping my water. Maybe I wasn’t doing such a good job as I thought. The waiter came and poured her wine for her, and she acted less than pleasant towards him.
“What? Of course not, Prudence. Jesus Christ, I’m not that heartless. Besides, you are one of the best lawyers in that place. I just wanted to get out for once with a girl. You need to see this place because you will be dining here with clients. I wanted you to see it with me. Personally, I hate it, and I’m not too pleased with the food here, but you have to be seen and today was a great day to start. I also needed to ask your opinion concerning something personal, if you don’t mind.”
Wow. She wanted my opinion. I was floored. She had no clue that she asked for help from a girl who once lived in a trailer park. No one I associated with knew about my past, except Thomas, and of course, Alex. I made sure I never talked about my personal business, and no one asked me about it either. I wanted to keep it that way.
“I don’t know what I can say help-wise. I’m willing to give it a shot, though,” I said, picking at my salad.
“This is private, just between you and me. Even though I like you, I will be very upset if it is discussed with anyone. That fluttering friend of yours, Thomas, enjoys gossip and spends a lot of his time at somebody’s desk doing just that. He has a big mouth, and I will know if you say anything. I don’t make it a practice to tell anyone my personal business and I suggest that you do the same as you get older. The fewer people know the better. And most people just don’t give a shit, or they will use it to hurt you,” she said.