Radioactive

by Maya Shepherd

  “That’s not as easy as you would think,” I try to explain myself. “I do not have permission for the elevator. I cannot leave without the permission or supervision of another Legion commander.”

  However, he does not care about my explanations. “Zoe is getting worse and worse. I think she is going crazy in her cell.”

  “I know, I saw her yesterday through the camera,” I confess to him.

  “You have to do something!” Clyde says and I feel his pain. Does he think that I do not want to help? Once I became a Legion commander, I thought I would have an easier life, but it is harder than ever. I must warn the rebels against an attack from the Legion. I have to make Finn regain his memories, and I have to get Zoe out of her cell. But no one asks how I am doing. I barely manage to sleep at night out of sheer worry.

  “I’ll do my best!” I assure Clyde sheepishly. He nods and leaves me alone. I would hope that he would at least have asked how I was doing.

  Defeated, I walk back to the elevator and see a fighter standing near it. She seems to have been watching me for some time. On closer inspection, I realize it is C403. Relieved, I run toward her.

  “I greet you, C403.”

  “It is an honor, Legion commander A518,” she says and bows briefly before me.

  “I have a message for you,” I tell her, but she interrupts me before I can continue.

  “It seems to me that you have news for many people. Is that not a bit risky?”

  Is she warning me? It’s true, my behavior is certainly striking, but so far I’m sure I could not clarify my behavior to A350. I’ve forgotten to be careful. I’ve gotten too used to her protection. Maybe C403 is right; I should restrain myself in the future a little more.

  “You are right, but the message I have for you is more important than any other.”

  She nods her attention.

  “The Legion is planning a raid on the caves. You have to warn them as quickly as possible. They should flee immediately.”

  Horrified, she opens her eyes. “How long do I have?”

  “I do not know. It could be days. It could be hours.”

  She nods again, “I’ll take care of it.”

  I see she is thinking of something else. I look to her questioningly.

  “When did you decide you belong to the rebels?”

  “I am on no side. I am only helping my friends.”

  “And this has nothing to do with Finn?”

  “You know him?”

  “Of course. Even before I saw you talking to him,” she says, as though it were self-evident. Obviously I’m not the only one who can read faces.

  “Can you tell me your name?”

  “Ruby.”

  10. FALSE CLAIMS

  After dinner, D560 comes to my room again. Although I have nothing against her, I still cannot understand why A350 keeps sending her to my room. Just today, I behaved more than exemplary when she came into the safety zone to pick me up. I was already in front of the elevator waiting for her to pick me up. After that, I listened patiently to her lecture on the history of the Legion, without interrupting her or asking questions. I never asked about Finn or Zoe. She should be really happy with me, but instead she continues to send me my personal guard dog.

  D560, however, seems to literally enjoy my presence. With every night she spends with me, she seems more relaxed and more cheerful. Today, she even told a joke. Granted, it was pure sarcasm, but still. We were already in bed when someone knocks on the door.

  Curious, I walk to the door. A566 stands before it. Obviously he longs for an adventure. D560 stands behind me and looks at me in a panic. “You’re going to let him in?”

  “I will only open the door to listen to what he has to say, and then he will leave.”

  “And if he refuses to leave?” She asks anxiously.

  “Why should he?” I ask blankly and pull the door open without giving D560’s words a second thought.

  A566 has the same warped look on his face, but when he sees D560 behind me, his face darkened.”

  “What is she doing here?”

  She is guarding me on orders of A350,” I tell him and wonder about his derogatory attitude.

  “Why would she send you a member of the kitchen staff and not a fighter?”

  I do not like how he talks about her, certainly not in her presence. I always knew he considered himself to be better than others, but to say that in front of her is just plain disrespectful. However, I never thought about it before. What reason could A350 have sending D560 to me? Perhaps because I don’t know any of the fighters? Or is it to attract as little attention as possible? I’ll ask her about it later, but it’s definitely not A566’s business.

  “Why did you come?”

  His old familiar grin returns. “I wanted to invite you to come with me to the safety zone, but you probably won’t be able to with your watchdog.”

  Actually, I did not want to accept his offer, mainly to protect him from getting in trouble with A350. But after speaking to Clyde about Zoe, I would like to go to the sickbay and offer her some encouragement. She needs me, but I still hesitate to accept his offer.

  “A350 is already suspicious, she would catch us,” I say hesitantly.

  But A566 only makes a dismissive gesture. “Don’t worry about A350. I’ll just manipulate the recordings. She will see nothing.”

  “You can do that?”

  “Of course, I’ve done it many times and have never been caught,” he says proudly. “Just come along, everything is prepared.”

  I turn pleadingly to D560, “This is important. Please do not tell A350.”

  She whispers when she answers, A566 cannot hear her. “I would never betray you, but you should not go with him.”

  “He has helped me many times. I trust him,” I assure her, although it is not true.

  She sadly shakes her head. “I cannot change your mind, but please, take care of yourself.”

  “Do not worry, I can defend myself,” I answer with a grin.

  She does not return my smile. “He is stronger than you.”

  I have no choice but to trust him. He is my only chance to see Zoe. Therefore, I will follow him into the hall and leave D560 alone back in my room. I know she will not betray me to A350.

  Before we reach the elevator, A566 starts gossiping.

  “You’d better stay away from her,” he warns me with a seriousness I have rarely experienced from him.

  “Why?”

  What is going on between these two that they have to warn me about each other?

  “She’s lying and is always making up stories.”

  “Why would she do such a thing?”

  He shrugs. “Probably to make herself more interesting. She’s jealous of you and your position.”

  It would be understandable that a D-Class crew member would be jealous of a Legion commander. But to me, D560 was different. She always wanted to leave the Legion, to no longer be a part of it.

  “I do not believe that. She always seems so reserved. She hardly speaks to me, how could she be lying to me?”

  “Don’t ask me, but I’m not so sure A350 really sent her to you.”

  “Why would D560 lie about that?”

  The elevator doors open.

  “Maybe to sleep in a comfortable bed and enjoy the view?” Obviously he has had enough of the subject, because he suddenly changes it. “So, where to today? Back to D577?”

  I shake my head. “No, not today. Today I want to visit someone in the sickbay.”

  “Your wish is my command,” he admits with a grin in reply. The elevator opens and we walk through into the atrium. He begins walking to the large double doors, the entrance to the sickbay. “May I ask who you want to visit there?”

  “D523. She’s a friend of mine. We used to work together in the food distribution division.” I conceal the fact that she is one of the rebels.

  For a moment he seems satisfied with my answer, but silence has never been one of his strength
s, so he begins grilling me with his next question as soon as we enter the sickbay.

  “How do you feel about the impending attack on the rebels?”

  I least expected him to ask this question. Can it really be that the person I constantly distrust is actually interested in how I feel about the attack? Again, I am overcome with the suspicion that I have judged him wrong. He grew up in the safety zone and trained hard in order to achieve the greatest goal of all of the inhabitants. He has become a Legion commander and has every right to be proud. How can I expect him to think differently about the outcasts or the lower classes, if something else was never taught?

  “I’m worried,” I confess to him. “And to be honest, I hope they will escape.”

  “How many are there? Maybe ten? They have no chance against a fighter unit of fifty men.” Although I was aware of this size difference before, his words rob me of any hope.

  “Perhaps they will manage to hide,” I submit.

  “But for that to happen, someone would have to warn them,” A566 replies. What does he expect to hear from me? That I have already sent someone? If so, that would jeopardize Ruby’s safety, and I cannot allow that to happen.

  “You never know, maybe they’re better than our fighters. That would be their only chance,” I steer away from his question.

  We reach Zoe’s cell. Clyde stands in front, guarding it, as he does every night. He looks at me confused, because I appear with another Legion commander.

  “Hail, C515,” I greet him formally, whereupon he bows briefly before us.

  “To what do I owe the honor, Legion commanders A566 and A518?”

  “I want to visit D523 and check on her condition,” I explain truthfully and regret not being able to speak openly with him.

  “A566, would you please open the door for me?”

  He follows my request. As the door opens, I can see Zoe cowering in the far corner of her cell. She looks alarmed just seeing two Legion commanders standing in front of her. She does not recognize me.

  “I will go in alone,” I say to A566 in a tone that brooks no argument. He looks a bit disappointed, but nods, his eyes peer curiously into the interior of the cell.

  Quickly I enter and close the door behind me.

  I lift my hands up calmly. I approach slowly and cautiously toward Zoe. “Do not worry; it’s only me, Cleo.”

  “D518?” she replies thoughtfully. It really is worse than I thought.

  I walk carefully in front of her, careful not to frighten her.

  “Or should I say A518? So, you’re one of them now, huh?”

  Although her voice is weak, I can clearly hear her sarcasm.

  “It’s not what you think,” I try to explain, but she interrupts me.

  “You’re so damn proud now, huh? You got exactly what you wanted. Now you’re better than me. You deserve it.”

  Her voice is filled with so much hate that it hurts me. She does not let me explain my situation. It would be pointless to continue to try to convince her otherwise, instead, I decide to drop the bomb directly.

  “Finn is here.”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “How did that happen?”

  “He threw stones at the Legion commander sphere.”

  Anxiety and sheer terror appear on her face. Her lips and hands tremble when she answers me. “And they did not kill him?”

  “They would have, but I prevented it.”

  Instantly the hatred leaves her eyes and gratitude remains. Tears conceal her vision and she shakily stretches out her hand to me. She is weak, but her grip surrounds my hand. “I do not know how to ever thank you. You saved my brother!”

  I do not deserve her gratitude because she only knows part of the truth. Nevertheless, I accept her handshake. “There is just one problem. In saving him from being executed, they had to delete all of his past memories.”

  She snatches her hand back from me. “And you chose that? How could you? Finn would hate you for it.”

  “I know,” I assure her and can no longer hold back my tears. Her accusation is more than I can bear. I was grateful that I saved his life. “I love Finn. I could not let him die,” I confess to her, sobbing. I finally said it. At last I could tell someone how I really feel about him.

  Her eyes widen in surprise. Her hard facial features become finer, more compassionate. She stretches her hand out again to me. “I love him and would have done the same thing in your place.”

  “Her understanding calms me and helps me dry my tears. Finally, we are a team again. I missed her so much these past few weeks.

  “Together we must try to remind him of everything. I was with him when he woke up. He seemed to be ready to be reminded of his life. But when I spoke to him recently, he maintained a very negative attitude toward me.”

  “How can I help you? I’m stuck in here day and night, remember?” She reminded me. “You have to bring him here.”

  “I cannot,” I reply. “I cannot possibly ask A566 to bring Finn here. There must be some other way.”

  “Why not? You’re a Legion commander,” Zoe replied, as though it is the solution to all problems.

  “Exactly, and right now I cannot take any chances. Even meeting with you is a risk.”

  “Please! You have to be able to do something. I must go to him. Do you know how long it has been since I last saw him?”

  She does not have to tell me. I know. Finn never missed an opportunity to tell me. One year. An endlessly long year.”I know and I promise that I will do my best. But you have to have patience,” I extort insistently.

  “Your best is not good enough. You have to do everything in your power. Damn, you’re a Legion commander! If you can’t find a way, you will make one!”

  Her words put me under even more pressure. She must know that nothing is more important to me than having Finn’s memory restored.

  Everyone thinks it’s easy to be a Legion commander, yet it is harder than anything else. After all, the responsibility now lies with me.

  The next morning I’m awake before D560. She stayed up waiting for me to return last night and was relieved and surprised at the same time that nothing had happened to me. What did she expect A566 would do to me? Or had she been afraid of me being caught by A350? I look at her and she’s persistently silent. Why can’t she just tell me? I trust her.

  But that’s not the reason I laid awake half the night. I racked my head about Zoe and Finn. How should I get Zoe out of the sickbay? And even if I can, how would Finn react to her? Would he remember her? After all, she knows his life and she is his sister. But I fear it would hurt me if he could remember her but forgot me. Nevertheless, it would be nice. Some memory is better than none.

  In addition, I do not know if the attack on the rebels has taken place yet. Could Ruby have warned them in time?

  How can a person sleep with so many questions in their mind? D560’s sleep was as strong as ever. Every night she curls up like a wounded animal. Sometimes she moans in her sleep. Nightmares seem to plague her and sometimes she screams. It would be better if she slept in her own bed, since hers would shut down her dreams. My bed, the bed of a Legion commander, does not do that. It’s yet another privilege of being a Legion commander, one which I’m not always happy about. To know one’s own dreams gives one true control over their life, but sometimes it can be very painful when the cruel experiences of the day still pursue my mind at night.

  Only a knock at the door startles D560.

  I look at the monitor and am relieved to see A350. I am relieved to see that her mouth does not look quite as pinched as it had in recent days. Perhaps my good behavior has had a good effect on her.

  I open the door for her.

  “Good morning, A518,” she greets me warmly, but is irritated when she sees D560 stand behind me. “What are you doing here?”

  Now I’m the one who looks confusedly back and forth between the two.

  D560 acts uncertain and seems to be searching for words. “I thought it was your wish
that I continue guarding A518,” she finally said.

  A350 suspiciously puts her eyebrows together. “I only ordered you to watch her for one night.”

  So A566 was right. D560 lied to me. She spent the nights with me for the past few days. But why? Was it really only for the comfort? I cannot imagine the best of intentions.

  “I’m sorry, I did not want to be pushy,” D560 hastens to apologize.

  “Do just what you’re told. If I want something else from you, I will order you to do it,” A350 declares with strict words. D560 seems to be getting smaller. Although she lied to me, she feels sorry.

  “She only meant well,” I don’t know why I’m trying to defend her, but even then, I’m not sure this is true.

  A350 ignores my defense and says, “You will not harass A518 again, now go!”

  D560 obeys immediately, so I will probably have no chance to talk to her again. On the one hand, I’m relieved that A350 is treating me more familiarly, unlike in recent days, but on the other hand; I do not like her harsh tone against D560. I’m sure she had a reason that she would rather spend the night with me rather than in her own bed.

  No sooner than D560 has disappeared from view, A350 turns back to me. “Did you really think I would send a D-Class person to guard you?” She asks incredulously.

  “I thought you did it to attract less attention,” I try to explain, but as I say the words, I notice on A350’s facial expression that it was exactly the wrong thing to say.

  Her forehead breaks out in wrinkles. “You cannot expect that I will cover for each and every one of your blunders. I have already tried to help you out more than once and I am tired. It’s about time that you stand for your own actions.”

  “I will,” I assure her. “Why did you come?”

  “A conference was convened; I wanted to pick you up.”

  “Why?”

  There is news from the north. The attack on the outcasts took place early in the morning.”

  I feel my heart skip a beat. I knew it would go fast, but I did not expect it would be so quick. Was Ruby able to warn them in time? Or are Iris and the others already dead? I imagine I would have felt it if it were true.