“You’re weird and I do not understand you,” he replies to me softly.
“But?” I reply, hopeful and smiling at him hesitantly.
“But it feels good when you’re close to me,” It is the first time he answered my smile, at least for a brief moment. “Well, anyway, as long as you keep your mouth shut.”
The realization that we can be close to each other, even without his memory is reassuring. If we go together, we will find each other again, no matter what happens.
A violent knock on the door pulls me out of my sleep. Startled, I wake up and realize I am in my own room. In my dream I was still with Finn. It was late when I left, but when I came back to the Legion commander sphere, it was already dawn. My view through the large window now confirms to me that it is early in the morning. I slept only a few minutes. The pounding on the door continues.
“Are you not going to open it?” Asha asks beside me, worried. When I came back, she was still awake. I had the feeling that she had not slept and instead waited all that time for my return.
I quickly get up and look at the monitor only to see A350 outside the door. She seems stressed and worried at the same time. I open it immediately.
“Damn it, what’s with you? Are you deaf? I’ve been knocking against your door for several minutes. It’s a miracle that it has not broken,” she barks at me once the door opens and then looks at me angrily up and down. “You’re not even dressed. Come on, quickly now!”
I quickly run to my closet, in which a freshly washed Legion commander suit is waiting for me. “So what’s going on? Did I forget something?”
“No, but something happened last night. A566 has convened a conference.”
“A566?” I ask and Asha looks at me. This is not like him. Normally A489 convenes all unscheduled conferences. For a moment, I grow cold and fear that he could decide to talk about Finn and myself. Maybe he watched and now wants to get his revenge.
“Do you know what this conference is about?” I ask as a precaution as I slip into the white suit. Meanwhile, I have to show that I don’t think it’s a problem to be naked in front of other women, even if they turned their back to me out of respect.
“Not exactly, but apparently he was attacked,” she answers me. Attacked? Someone other than me attacked him? Asha maybe?
“What does that mean?”
A350 groans, annoyed. “You will learn the same time everyone else does. Come on now! Impatiently she zips up my suit. I did not even have time for a steam shower. Still, I run after her toward the conference room.
As has happened often, A350 and I are the last two to make it to the conference room and have to see the disapproving glances of the other Legion commanders. I do not think A350 would be late if it were not for me. She seems to be the kind of person who would be first to arrive anywhere.
Quickly we slide to our seats. Immediately A566 rises and I notice a blue mark under his swollen right eye. There are also bloody scrapes on his chin. Apparently the attack was a vicious one. Serves him right.
His whole body trembles with rage. “Last night there was an attack on my person and I expect the perpetrators to be punished.”
A489 rises next to A566. “Please, tell us exactly what happened.”
A566 takes a deep breath to keep his anger under control. “Yesterday evening, while in the control room, I was monitoring the sickbay. I noticed one of the cells was opened without permission. Alarmed, I immediately went to the sickbay to ensure order. I arrived at the open cell of patient D523 and caught her night watchman C515 apparently helping her escape. Of course I asked him what he was doing, but he and D523 attacked me immediately. They were so aggressive, almost like wild animals. They lost all control of their selves and hurt me severely. Only with the help of two other guards were we able to subdue them. They took C515 off for questioning and locked D523 back in her cell.”
As A566 completes his report, he puts on an affected face. I would prefer it if he roared this lie loudly. C515 is a fighter and would not even be able to open the cell doors.
A350 now brings this to everyone’s attention, “How was C515 able to open the cell door?”
“He must have had help from a Legion commander,” A566 responds immediately and looks specifically at me, so that everyone will notice.
“Did you see anyone?” A350 wants to know immediately.
“No,” A566 admits. “But since only Legion commanders are able to open the doors, there is no other possibility.”
“What about the cameras? If a Legion commander were there, they would be on the recording,” A233 says.
Thereupon, A489 says, “The tragedy is that the cameras that night were manipulated because they do not show the pertinent locations. It appears that the film of another night was swapped with last night’s footage. But there is no reason to doubt A566’s word.”
There is a reason, but I cannot tell them. Nevertheless, I feel obliged to contribute anything to Clyde and Zoe’s defense. I know A566 is lying. He is the only one who can manipulate the cameras. “It is only fair to listen to both versions of a story. C515 was already questioned, right? What did he say?”
“The word of a Legion commander is against the word of a fighter. It would be an insult to listen to the lies of this traitor even for one second,” A489 defends his sprout. He again is on his rhetoric that I have no business here.
“It would be no offense, it would be fair,” A233 replies. “What would the other fighters think if we do not even listen to one of their own? They would feel degraded and it could lead to mistrust and resentment.”
Amazingly, even A333 rises to help. “The thesis the whole Legion is based on is that all people are equal. To illustrate it, we control the appearance of each individual. All this would be meaningless if we were to now solely to listen to a Legion commander, just because we have made him something better. We need to show the people that we stand behind what we preach.”
The words of A333 have convinced the others so now A489 and A566 stand alone in their views. The others all want to hear C515’s view of things. I am curious to see what he will testify.
The interrogation room is also located in the sickbay. It is similar to the operating room in which they had brought Finn to some time ago. For here there is also a Venetian mirror that splits the room into two rooms. I would like to be the one to interview Clyde, but A489 argued that he would take on this task, so now twenty Legion commanders stand behind one side of the mirror while A489 sits with Clyde on the other side. Clyde’s face looks no better than A566’s. He also has a black eye and a laceration on his forehead. He must have had a nosebleed because the remains of dried blood still remains stuck under his nose, face, and chin. His blue uniform is dirty and footprints can clearly be seen at stomach level. His posture is also off. His left hand rests on his ribs. Perhaps one is broken. He is in poor condition and should be receiving medical treatment instead of being interviewed.
“It is the desire of the Legion to hear your view about the attack on Legion commander A566,” A489 explains to Clyde while making it clear that he does not share this desire. Both his expression and his tone makes it clear he dislikes Clyde. Clyde must feel that he has no chance. I hope he knows I am in the vicinity and can rely on me. He must not doubt for a moment that I will believe him no matter what he says.
“You admit to having attacked A566?”
“I attacked him in order to protect D523,” Clyde retorts. What did A566 want with D523? I have an idea, but I do not want to think about it.
“So D523 attacked A566? Is it not more likely that he wanted to prevent her escape and you were in the way?” It figures A489 would twist his words around. I can only hope the other Legion commanders noticed.
“D523 wanted to run away from him. She does not like him.”
Images from the elevator fight come to my head like lightning. I tried not to think about it, but now they are so strong that I can think of nothing else. It cannot be true that Zoe has
had the same fate as me. I led A566 to her. Without me, he would never have known about her.
But A489 does not respond to Clyde’s words. “When A566 came to the sickbay, her cell was already open. Who is responsible for this?”
Clyde immediately shakes his head. “That’s not true. When he came I was standing guard outside her cell. He sent me away to speak to her alone. He opened the cell.”
“Lies!” Shouts A489 causing Clyde to flinch. “Why would A566 wish to speak to her in the middle of the night?”
Clyde shrugs and looks helplessly to the mirror. He knows he is being watched from the other side. “He was not there to talk to her. He wanted something else from her. When I heard her cries, I came back immediately...”
A489 pounces on this new development. “You just claimed he wanted to talk to her and now you claim the opposite. Do you notice how implausible that is? What did he want from her now?”
I would like to plunge into the room and explain a few things.
“I don’t know. When I came into the cell, D523’s nightgown was torn off. She lay on the floor and A566 held her down, trying to undress himself.”
Clyde does not understand what he has seen because he knows nothing about sex. To me, it would be no different had I not spent time with the rebels. While the subject briefly comes up in education lessons, there is no sex in our society because there are no feelings. We do not reproduce in this way. At the moment, I’m happy because sex seems to be very painful to me. Florence, however, always maintained the opposite. She said it was like two people merging into one person. Although I found her description beautiful, I could not imagine doing it myself. I just wonder how A566 knows so much about it. Did he learn it on his own?
Although the interview was ended at this point, the rest of the day was filled with discussion, allegations, and accusations, none of which led to a real result. A566 called for Clyde to be punished severely, possibly even put to death. But the other Legion commanders cannot agree on the matter, especially the women as they are horrified at what Clyde is accusing A566 of doing. It would be easier to convince them of A566’s fault if I were to come forward and tell them what he did to me. But instead of fighting for Clyde, my share of the conversation dwindles until I am silent. I will tell them the truth, but not about me. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m afraid of what A566 would tell about me, but I’m afraid of the pain and helplessness that the narrative would inevitably bring with it. I do not want to go through it all again. I cannot do it. It is cowardly and selfish. I feel terrible.
I decide late in the evening to finally take the elevator and go to the sickbay. Nobody wanted to hear Zoe’s testimony as she is a patient in the sickbay and is thus crazy. But I want to hear what she has to say. I need to know what A566 did to her.
Before I took the elevator, I did not have time to look over the video feed of her room, so I do not know what condition she is in. I hold my breath as I open the door of her cell with my fingerprint. Zoe is in her bed and only raises her head a bit as my footsteps echo on the linoleum floor. Her lip is split open and her chin is glued together with a white plaster. Her left arm is wrapped in a bandage.
However she breathes a sigh of relief when she sees me. “Do you know where Clyde is? Is he still alive?” She wants to know immediately and pats beside her on the bed as a sign that I should sit down with her.
“He will remain in the interrogation room until it is decided what will be done with him,” I tell her because the question of how he is doing is difficult to answer. The truth is I do not know. There was no way for me to talk to him alone.
“He saved me. If he had not been there, then...” she stops and I nod sympathetically. She does not need to speak. We both know what would have happened. Although I am infinitely sorry that she had to go through it, I feel guilty because somehow it is good to know that I am not the only one this has happened to. I wanted to share this feeling with Zoe.
Gingerly I reach for her hand and tenderly stroke her fingers. Despite her long captivity in the safety zone her skin is a trace darker than my own.
“I know what you’re going through,” I whisper to her and look into her eyes. Her look is doubtful, but curious.
“I know because the same thing happened to me,” I point to the small scar on my eyebrow. The wounds of A566’s attack are as good as healed, but Zoe understands what this scar stands for. Her eyes widen sorrowfully. “Did he... Did he...?” she asks softly, as though her words could break me.
I shake my head and bite my lip. “No, I was able to escape in time.”
Zoe breathes restlessly before she shakes her head. “Nevertheless, it’s terrible. Did you tell the others about it?”
“Only A350,” now she takes my hand and grasps it tight.
“You have to tell them. They will believe you. If A566 gets away with this, you risk not only Clyde’s life, but that of many other women. A566 will not stop. He’ll be looking for other victims. I’m sure you were not his first.”
It’s as if all of the scattered pieces of a puzzle came together in my mind once she said those words. Suddenly it’s clear and I wonder how I could have been so blind. Of course I’m neither his first nor his last victim. I know his first victim: Asha.
Immediately I panic. When I left my room, she was alone in the kitchen. She only feels safe when I’m there. That’s why she likes sleeping in my bed with me. To her, my room is the only safe place.
I jump up hastily. “Sorry Zoe, but I have to leave,” I say briefly and rush out the door. I run through the sickbay to the atrium and slam my finger on the elevator’s scanner. The opening and closing of the doors has never seemed slower. Clyde rescued Zoe and I was able to protect myself from A566. But compared to him Asha is defenseless. No one would believe her and anyone could enter her room as they please. How many terrible hours had she suffered at his hands? I do not want to know. But I gave her a promise at her bedside. I promised her a fresh start. Asha must not suffer the same fate as D560. I have to stop it.
Finally the elevator doors slide open and I run straight toward the conference room, beyond which is the kitchen. Even as I enter, I can see that the kitchen door is closed. It’s normally never closed. It’s one of the few doors that does not require a fingerprint scanner to open. Panicked, I push the door open. Just at that moment, A566 pushes Asha into the farthest corner of the room. He threatens her with a laser weapon, which we otherwise only use for arena fights.
“Take your clothes off or I’ll kill you,” he hisses to her. Obviously he has not noticed me. Asha refuses.
“I do not care if you kill me. You would be doing me a favor,” she tells him emotionlessly. At that moment her eyes meet mine and her eyes widen in surprise. A566 notices and turns around, scared to see me. Once he realizes I’m alone he no longer considers me a threat.
“Oh, we have a visitor. This is a nice surprise,” he whispers with feigned friendliness. “Do you want to make it a threesome? D560 can teach you a lot,” he sneers.
I ignore him and wave to Asha. “Come here.”
A566 blocks her way. “It’s useless. No one will believe you.”
They will. If my words do not help then maybe they will see with their own eyes. From the top of my lungs I begin screaming as loud as I can.
Asha looks at me blankly but the she realizes what I am doing and begins to scream, as she has done many times before. But this time, this last cry will be answered. A566 stares at me, confused, then shocked. He directs the laser gun at me and yells, “Be quiet or I’ll shoot.”
I will not let myself be intimidated by him and continue to shout. The use of laser weapons is prohibited outside of the arena. If he shoots me it’s as good as signing his own death warrant.
A350 is the first to reach us. Shortly thereafter A489, A233, and A333 walk in. They all see how A566 is pointing the prohibited weapon at me.
“What’s going on?” A233 interrupts our shouts. I can finally fall silent. My thro
at burns like fire.
“Everything C515 said is true. A566 tried to rape D523.”
The word seems difficult to get past my lips, but it describes exactly what he meant to do.
Asha emerges behind her tormentor and stands beside me. Her gaze is directed to the floor, her voice quiet and shaky. “He raped me. For months.”
I reach for her hand. She grasps mine firmly. A566 will never hurt her again. I lift my head and look toward the other Legion commanders.
“He also tried to rape me.”
A350 immediately agrees. “I can testify to that. I found A518 immediately afterwards. Her wounds are only just healed.”
“You’re lying,” A566 screams upset and looks to A489, his mentor. But A489 only looks to the ground. He knows no one will believe A566.
14. REPRODUCTION WITHOUT LOVE
Impatiently I sit in front of the monitor and drum my fingertips on the control board. I’m a little early for my lessons with A350, but I wanted to use the time to check on Zoe. But neither her, nor Clyde, nor Finn are in their rooms. With Finn, I’m not surprised; after all, he is part of the cleaning crew. Clyde would still be in the interrogation room, where even I cannot find him. But it is most unusual that Zoe is not in her cell in the sickbay. She has no other task and the food distribution time ended long ago. She should be back in her cell by now.
A throat clears behind me, startling me. I turn around and see A350 behind me with a reproachful look on her face. She looks over my shoulder at the video of Zoe’s cell.
“You’ve noticed D523 is not in her cell,” she says as she sits down in the chair next to me.
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