Radioactive

by Maya Shepherd

  We walk further and further through the forest until nightfall, when it dawns on us that neither of us has a flashlight and neither of us knows how to make a fire. Though, a fire out here would be like a signal flare for the Legion.

  We seek protection under the branches of a big tree. We huddle up together to keep each other warm from the coming cold. We do not speak a word to each other. I can feel her trembling next to me. Her breathing flows out of her nose like a small cloud that vanishes in seconds. I can no longer be angry about her rash actions. I would never have forgiven myself if I had not helped her. Asha has to live. She deserves it more than anyone else.

  The next morning, we continue through the forest. Every tree looks the same and I fear that we are going around in circles. I do not know how big the forest is. Even in my escape from the caves it seemed endless. Considering that this forest has only been here a few decades, the trees have reached a considerable size.

  It seems hopeless. We have walked for hours without finding even the slightest hint of the rebels. Maybe they have since moved on nearer to another Legion. Maybe in the South to Sharon or North to Raymond.

  The sun is already at its highest point and burns relentlessly through the branches of trees and onto our bare heads. My mouth feels so dry that it hurts even to swallow. I barely pay attention to the road ahead of me, but I keep walking, hoping for change. Asha follows me without comment. She would accompany me everywhere, as long as it is not back to the Legion.

  Exhausted, I stand still for a moment and breathe deeply. The air is so fresh.

  A rustling of leaves alarms me, but before I can turn around, I feel a sharp object in my back.

  “Hands up or I will stab you!”

  Obediently, I lift up my arms. Someone reaches over and grabs my laser gun from my wrist.

  “Now turn around slowly...”

  Cautiously I turn around and almost weep for joy when I see rebels standing before us. There are four of them and the woman in front of me I recognize as Sharon. She does not seem to remember me, because her attitude remains suspicious and unwelcoming.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “We fled from the Western Legion,” I tell her. “I’m Cleo, do you not recognize me?”

  Suspiciously she squints. I can almost see how her memory of me rises in her mind, but that does not change her attitude toward me.

  “I remember you, but I also never trusted you,” she replies coldly. Her eyes even seem to be somewhat hostile.

  “Are Gustav and the others with you?”

  Sharon turns her nose up in disgust. “You know, I think I’m right. You always were a part of the enemy, why look at you in your white suit!”

  The other three walk toward me with the knives drawn. Sharon knew the plan, like the others, to inject myself into the Legion as a commander. Why does she blame me now? Do they seriously expect me to just flick my fingers and all of their problems would dissolve into thin air? Did they think I could just turn off the electric wall without thinking of the consequences? It would have been fatal had I done that, I can barely think of the creature I saw on the monitors in the control room. The rebels do not even know the truth, yet they condemn me.

  “What happens to us now?” Asha asks shyly.

  “We do not know yet. Maybe we will send your bodies back as a warning to the Legion,” replies one of the other rebels. And I think with a shudder to the mountain of dead bodies of the other people kidnapped along with Iris and myself. Did Finn murder them? Or not? I never had the chance to ask him. Part of me hopes he was not there. Although I love him, I could not bear it.

  When I reply, I try not to show my fear. “Killing us would only be doing the Legion a favor.”

  “Why?”

  “I have killed a Legion commander,” Asha replies proudly. She does not regret that for one second, no matter what may happen to us.

  “He deserved it,” she says in a whisper, added to her declaration.

  Sharon and the other three men exchange a quick glance then they lead us through the forest to their camp. There are only a few tents, but more and more people. I am impressed by how many there are. Yet, there is no comfort or warmth in this place. Everything is ready to pack out and leave at any time. They expect an attack any moment. I search the crowd for a familiar face, but am unsuccessful. What happened to Gustav and the others? Did they not make it? What happened to Iris?

  Sharon pushes me onward and does not give me the opportunity to scan for familiar faces any longer. She leads us to a tarp stretched between two trees. There are two people here, even though their faces are in the shade, I recognize them. They are Raymond and Gustav. Together with Sharon they form the leadership of the rebels. Sharon for the South, Gustav for the West, and Raymond for the fallen North. Somehow he and the other rebels must have escaped before the electric wall was turned off. Only the East does not have a leader.

  I am, of course, very happy to see Gustav. With my brightest smile I greet him, “Gustav, it feels so good to see you again,” I mean it with all of my heart.

  But Gustav does not even bat an eyelash. His face is frozen in a grim mask. Deep furrows are around his eyes where previously there were many friendly smile lines. His impish rogues grin has become a dogged thin line. Also the brightness of his eyes is extinguished. Anger darkens his eyes.

  “For real? That surprises me,” he replies coldly, indicating that although he remembers me, he is not the least glad to see me. His reaction hurt me more than I thought it would. Gustav was always friendly, funny, and warm. I owe him my name. Even though he was not always honest, I could always rely on him. I realize Marie’s death must have taken its toll on him, after all, she was his wife, but it was not my fault. On the contrary, I did everything possible to warn the rebels before the attack. Why then suddenly they treat me like any other traitor? Their behavior toward me is in no way justified and that’s what makes me angry.

  “Can I ask what I’m being accused of? You are treating me like a criminal. It was you who sent me back to the Legion. It was your plan to make me a Legion commander, not mine. If it were up to me, I would never have left the rebels.”

  Gustav takes my words without any emotion. He remains bitter. “I was wrong about the Legion. The Legion I knew is long gone. They proved that to me in the hardest way possible. There is no hope. Now it’s just them or us.”

  Ironically before Gustav was one of the rebels, he was a member of the Legion. He defended the Legion and once was a Legion commander before I was even born. Gustav was the founder of the experiment that lead to the creation of the rebels: Could people live outside the safety zone? Yes.

  I cannot possibly let his testimony stand just like that. “That’s not true. There is always hope. The residents of the safety zone are changing. I have been changing them. I was able to introduce a common food distribution system. They even enjoyed the mating fights, I got them to applause! I have never seen people so alive.”

  Gustav shakes his head firmly. “It’s nothing. That’s nothing,” he begins to shout. “They have taken Marie from me and you were not able to prevent that!”

  Is he serious? Is he really blaming me for her death?

  “I tried to warn you. What else could I do?”

  Gustav clenches his right hand into a fist and thunders it into the palm of his left. “You should turn off the damn electric wall and not introducing food distribution to robots.”

  I’m speechless. However, a familiar voice brings me out of my thoughts.

  “Cleo!”

  I look around and soon I see her running toward me. She throws herself into my arms and I hide my tears in her neck. Iris. I take a deep breath and smell her childish fragrance of sugar and sun mixed with a hint of pine needles. My fingers glide through her chin-length blond hair. It is softer than anything I have ever felt. Only now when I press her to me do I realize how much I missed her. Knowing she is alive and safe lifts an unspeakable burden from my heart.

&nbs
p; The little desert fox, Dumbo, jumps around barking while emerging from the undergrowth with Paul.

  “When she heard you were here, she was no longer tenable. She had to come see you.” Paul explains apologetically with a shrug and a shy smile. He was my first friend among the rebels. I still remember how comforting it was to have his green eyes on me in captivity.

  I let go of Iris and embrace Paul. He is so big and wide that I have the feeling I sink in between his arms. His sun-warmed skin presses against my cold suit and I close my eyes in relief.

  “Should I be jealous?” I suddenly hear someone say and look up to see Florence. She joins the embrace. I do not know of anyone who is more sincere or prettier than Florence. She is a true angel on Earth. Her blond curls tickle my cheeks and I start to laugh with joy. Pep, Grace, and Emily also get their turn. This welcome is just as warm and as loving as I had always dreamed it would be and makes me forget Gustav’s repellant attitude.

  I quickly turn around to Asha and take her by the hand.

  “I want to introduce you to my friend, Asha.”

  She smiles shyly and Florence moves to hug her. “Welcome. Friends of Cleo are also our friends.”

  Together we strengthen ourselves with tea and bread. These are the last remnants of the rebels. Soon they will be forced to light fires and hunt animals. So far they have avoided the Legion’s attention. Every other day they move their camp. Grace asks me about Finn and Zoe. Tell the others of Finn’s memory loss, but I leave out anything about Zoe’s probable pregnancy. After all, I do not know if they went through with it after Asha’s incident.

  Although I spend the night in the midst of joy, I can hardly sleep. I cannot believe that Gustav actually blames me for Marie’s death. They had become a part of my little patchwork family. As dawn begins, I notice Gustav leave in the fog and I follow him. He runs through the woods, he seems to have a goal in mind. I’m sure he knows I am behind him, but he does not turn around and send me away. I take this as permission to continue.

  After a few minutes, we reach a clearing. The morning sun dances on the still wet grass and I recognize Gustav’s goal. He kneels before a wooden cross. This must be where they buried Marie. It’s a nice place. It would have pleased her.

  At the place where her grave was dug, the Earth stands out as dark brown in an otherwise green meadow.

  When thick tears run over Gustav’s cheeks, I can feel my heart contract. I bite my lip to keep from crying and carefully step behind him.

  “From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for what happened to Marie.”

  I mean it, but that’s only half the story. Even though I feel sorry for him, I cannot forget what he said yesterday. “It was the act of a Legion commander. The residents of the safety zone had nothing to do with it. They don’t even know rebels exist.”

  Surprisingly, Gustav nods sympathetically. “I know that. The same as they do not know there is a electric wall or life outside the safety zone. Basically they know nothing.”

  “It’s not their fault,” I say again, but Gustav does not want to listen anymore. He lowers his gaze bleakly on Marie’s grave.

  “It seems so unkind and unworthy of her. Will you help me plant flowers on her grave?”

  I am pleased with this request and feel honored to help. Yesterday Gustav discovered a spot in the forest where Forget-Me-Nots bloom and leads me there. As we leave the clearing behind us, he asks me to guide him through the forest because he can no longer see as well as he used to.

  I walk ahead of him and follow the trail.

  After a few minutes and no flowers in sight, I ask, “Is it much farther?”

  At that moment a solid blow cracks against the back of my head, forcing me to my knees. My vision goes black.

  A few moments later a sharp pain pulls me back from unconsciousness. Everything around me spins and I can only see blurs. My upper body is tied to a tree trunk and rough bark cuts my back. In front of me Gustav kneels and holds my left hand while clutching a knife in his right. He cuts my pinky finger. The blood flows freely and drips on the forest floor. The pain is indescribable and I cry out in pain before I again lose consciousness.

  “Cleo!”

  Sound slowly penetrates my ear. It is muffled and seems to come from a great distance.

  I feel the chains that held me are severed and my upper body tilts forward before being caught again.

  “Cleo!”

  This time the voice is louder. With difficulty I open my eyes and pinch them back together again. It’s bright and the light is burning my eyes. An untold throbbing is in my left hand. I can hardly breathe. When I open my eyes again, I can recognize blurred face over me. I am queasy and am afraid I might throw up.

  “We heard you scream. Who did this to you?”

  The faces are clear. There is Paul, Florence, Asha, and Iris. What are they talking about? I cannot remember. Confused, I look at my aching hand and see that the little finger is missing. All that is left is a bloody stump. The nausea comes over me and I surrender to it. I vomit pure bile.

  While Paul holds me, Florence presses a fabric onto my bloody hand.

  My memory returns slowly. “Where is Gustav?” I blurt out.

  “I don’t know. I have not seen him. What about him?”

  Paul gently pulls me onto my legs. “Can you walk?”

  “Gustav. It was Gustav. He cut off my finger.”

  Horrified, Paul looks at me while Florence frowns. “Why would he do such a thing?”

  There is a reason Gustav would want my finger. He wants to gain access to the Legion. A cold sweat breaks out of my skin when I realize where he is going. He wants to turn off the electric wall, but Gustav and the others are unaware of the mutants. I have to stop him.

  Quickly I tell my friends about what exists outside the electric walls. They recognize the danger and take me to Raymond and Sharon. When I tell them of the sightings, they also see that under these circumstances the electric wall must not be switched off. Full steam ahead immediately to the Legion. Fortunately the rebels have a vehicle that can drive through the woods.

  When we come to the caves, our former home, I realize that the desert drifter, the one Asha and I drove, is missing. Gustav must have taken it and thus is much further ahead of us now.

  When we arrive in front of the Legion, fighter units are patrolling the entire area. While Sharon wants to attack immediately, I propose that they should only attack if I do not return in ten minutes.

  Raymond and the others agree to my proposal, so I climb out of the vehicle alone. Asha reaches for my hand.

  “Take care of yourself!”

  I smile to her and press my injured hand against my chest. “Thank you,” I reply smiling. “Take care of Iris,” I say while stroking her hair lovingly. We will see each other again soon.

  I close my eyes and breathe a deep breath. It is important that I am sure of myself, because only then can I convince the others and today I will need a lot of persuasion. I think of everything A350 has taught me. She’s a good teacher.

  Determined, I walk up to the nearest fighter I come across. He raises his laser at me.

  “Not a step further!”

  I raise my voice and am surprised at how full and strong it sounds. “I am A518, Legion commander. I was attacked by rebels and have come immediately to warn the others. I command you to let me pass.”

  The fighter thinks for a fraction of a second, then lowers his weapon and allows me passage to the elevator.

  19. LOST

  As soon as I leave the elevator, A233 crashes into me. She looks winded and looks at me confused.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Hastily, other Legion commanders and fighters run all around. There is sheer chaos.

  “I was attacked by a rebel. He cut off my finger...” I say, lifting my hand as evidence. Paul’s shirt is wrapped around my hand, which is now soaked with blood.

  “...And thus got inside the Legion,” she finishes the sentence
for me.

  “Have you seen him?” I ask, though the answer is obvious. Gustav must be the reason for the prevailing chaos.

  “He has barricaded himself in the control room and just shut down the electric wall system. A350 is with him.”

  Without another word, I run off at once. I find A350 hammering her fists against the closed control room door.

  “Open up at once!”

  Gustav, meanwhile, is sitting calmly in front of the control board and does not even seem to notice her cry. Startled, A350 turns to me, as she recognizes me, she breathes a relieved breath.

  “Good. You’re back.”

  No accusation, no allegations, and no reprimands. I did not expect this.

  When she looks at my bandaged hand, a horrified look spreads across her face. “What happened? Are you alright?”

  “Gustav used my little finger as a key.”

  In disgust, she turns her gaze back to Gustav behind the glass door and continues hammering furiously against the door. “You fucking bastard, open the door immediately!”

  I’m sure he would rather bite her fingers off than obey her commands.

  “Gustav," I now call loud and determinedly against A350’s clamor. Amazingly, he turns around, whereupon, A350 is silently surprised.

  He smiles toward me apologetically. “I’m sorry about your finger. It was nothing personal. I hope it does not hurt too much.”

  I should have expected he would apologize. I realize that despite the pain, I feel no anger toward him. “My finger does not matter now. You have to reboot the electric wall. There have been sightings of beings beyond the electric wall. Humans who were mutated by the nuclear radiation, they are very dangerous.”