Sleep doesn’t come, so I spend the night listening to couples argue about open concept kitchens and en-suite bathrooms. Their worries seem so prosaic that it almost makes me cry.
47
Ax
I don’t expect to find Sabrina in the kitchen at six a.m., but there she is, her hair turned golden by the rays of morning sun coming through the big bay window. For a moment I freeze, afraid to spook her like she’s some fragile deer stepping out of the forest. One moment and she could bolt.
“Is that coffee I smell?” I ask at last.
She jumps, then swings around to face me. “Yeah. I don’t know what time the cook clocks in around here, but I figured he or she wouldn’t mind if I helped myself to a cup of joe.”
“Help yourself to anything you want. As long as I can have a cup too.”
She nods, then pours the freshly brewed pot into a couple of mugs. “Is there any cream and sugar around here?”
I reach up into the cabinet to pull down a container of sugar. “I think there should be some kind of cream in the fridge. Dad drinks a ton of coffee, or at least he used to, so I assume they still stock cream for him.”
“Found it,” she says, then closes the fridge door and turns to pour a dollop of cream into her cup. “Want some?”
God yes, I think, taking in the full picture of her, looking otherworldly in the early morning light. Like some kind of mystical creature. I have to restrain myself from pulling her into my arms. “A little.”
She pours some cream into the other mug, then returns the container to the fridge. Knocking a spoonful of sugar into my cup, I stir it and take a sip. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” she murmurs and sips from her own mug.
“Sabrina,” I say, taking a step closer and trying not to be hurt when she takes a step back. “I’m sorry. I never wanted anything to happen to you and Lex. You’ve got to believe me.”
“Ax, please,” she says.
But I push on. “No, listen to me. I know you’re not happy about the way things went down, about the way they’re still going down, but please promise me that you’ll give me a chance to straighten things out.”
“And then what?” she asks suddenly. “Say you do convince your brother to call a truce, or whatever the hell ends a pissing contest between two spoiled brats who should have more sense. What happens then?”
I’m confused. My brows furrowing, I ask, “What do you mean?’
“What happens when all this is over? Are you going to let me and Lex leave?”
“And go home?”
“And go wherever we want? I told you before, I’m done with Cape Craven. I’m positive now that we’ll never have a comfortable life here. Your family puts everything out of perspective with the people of this town. I’m not going to have Lex growing up with all that pressure. People are going to either love her or hate her for who her father is. Or worse, they’re going to want something out of her. I’m not going to stick around and wait for the next family drama to crop up. When this is over, I’m leaving town for good.”
Her words hit me like blows. “Sabrina, don’t get me wrong, what happened was fucked up, but I think you’re blowing some things out of proportion. We can straighten shit out with the town, and with Lex. We can—”
“You don’t get to tell me when I’m blowing things out of proportion,” she says, stabbing a finger into my chest. “You don’t get a say in anything anymore. You fucked that up when you got our daughter kidnapped.”
My eyes narrow. “You’re still trying to push me away.”
“Can you blame me?”
In a way, I couldn’t, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. “Sabrina, I just found out I have a daughter, and you’re trying to take her away. That’s not fair.”
“Don’t get me started on what’s fair, Ax. Nothing about the relationship between you and me has been fair. So don’t expect me to follow some set of rules that you don’t and never have.”
I grab her by the arms, unable to help myself. “You can’t keep punishing me for the past. You’re the one who kept the pregnancy from me, kept my daughter from me, for far too long.”
“You’re the one who left! You’re the one who got thrown in prison!”
“I didn’t ask to! My brother set me up. He’s been ruining my life for years. And I will deal with him, soon. Once I do, I want you to re-evaluate things between us.”
“You don’t get to order me around, Ax. When are you going to accept that? There is nothing between us. The sooner you accept that, the better.”
“I’ll never fucking accept it,” I growl, crushing her to my chest. “You can’t make me, and neither can Brent. You’re a fucking part of me.” Picking up her delicate hand, I place it on my chest, over my heart. “You’re inside me, and nothing will change that.”
“Ax,” she says, her voice low and laced with anxiety. “We’re no good for each other. Look what happens when we get together? It won’t end well.”
“That’s bullshit,” I say, my eyes burning into hers. “And I’m going to fucking prove it to you. Before you leave this house, you’ll realize how good it can be between us.”
“Ax, don’t. You can’t force someone to feel—”
“I won’t force you,” I growl. “But you will feel it. You’ll feel the strength of what’s between us and you’ll admit it.”
“Admit what?”
“That you’re mine. That you belong to me.”
“That’s not tru—”
Before she can finish her statement, I block her mouth with mine. The kiss is nearly feral, almost punishing, and filled with every ounce of longing and lust inside me.
Sabrina backs away, but I cage her in with my body against the counter. Grabbing a handful of her hair, I gently tug it so her face is forced to turn up to me. I cup her cheek, my thumb gently stroking her skin. “You’re mine.”
“Ax, please let me go.” She’s whispering, and there’s an edge of desperation in her words.
“Why? Why are you so afraid of me?”
“I’m not afraid of you,” she says, our lips an inch apart. “I’m afraid of what you do to me. I’m afraid of me when I’m with you.”
I tilt her head further back, moving our lips even closer. “Why is that, little one? What are you afraid of?”
She shakes her head, but I move my other hand to cup the other side of her face. “Tell me.”
“I’m afraid of losing what little bit of myself I still possess in you. I’m afraid of giving into this thing between us, to getting addicted to the pleasure and ignoring all the warning signs.”
“I’m already addicted,” I admit against her lips. “And I’ll never let you go.”
“Ax, I—” I crush my mouth to hers, blocking off her retort. I don’t care what she has to say. I’ll change her mind.
I have to. I have no choice.
Sabrina is mine, and I won’t let her run away, won’t let her shut me out again.
I slide my tongue into her mouth and feel her break, feel her fall into me. Deepening the kiss, I shift my hands to cup her ass, then use them to lift her up and set her on the kitchen counter.
I expect her to fight me when I move to pull down the pair of my old gym shorts she’s wearing, but she just looks at me, her eyes wide and full of some emotion I can’t name. She removes the t-shirt herself, and suddenly she’s completely bare.
There’s something so erotic about a naked Sabrina in the kitchen of my father’s house. We could be caught at any moment, but it doesn’t matter, and in fact, only heightens the intensity. I don’t give a fuck if the Pope himself comes in and catches us. I won’t stop, not now. Not ever.
My mouth is watering for a taste of her skin, so I lift her toward me, arching her so that I can capture one of her berry nipples in my mouth. She lets out a little purr of enjoyment, egging me on. I lavish one nipple with attention, then switch to the other until they’re standing up in hard little points.
“
Ax,” she whispers, her eyes hooded. “Please, don’t tease me. I need you now.”
“I need you too, darlin’,” I drawl. “But I can’t rush this. I have to take my time and worship this delectable little body.”
When I lower my head to her womanly core, she lets out a moan. She’s so fragrant before I even kiss her there. The fact that I turn her on only serves to make me want her more. I take a wide lap of her slit, teasing her, before opening her up to my gaze.
“You’re so fucking beautiful here. And it will never be enough. No matter how often I taste you here, touch you here. You belong to me.”
I bury my face between her thighs, challenging me to lick up every drop of her luscious nectar.
“Oh Ax,” she mewls, her head starting to thrash. “Oh my God, you know just how to drive me crazy.”
I do. I know her body like I know my own. I know what makes her thigh muscles start to jump. I know what makes her give me a delicious rush of moisture. I know what makes her moan and shake. And I will definitely use that knowledge against her.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I insert a finger into her core.
“Oh yessssss,” she lets out, spreading her legs further to allow me deeper inside. Another finger joins the first, and I pick up the rhythm, then duck my head to capture her nipple once again.
“Ax, please don’t stop,” she murmurs, her breath starting to come in little pants. I know she’s close, I can feel it inside her, but she’s not quite there yet. She needs one more little push to go over the edge.
I lift my head, moving to nibble at her earlobe. “You’re so fucking perfect, Sabrina. You feel so good. I’ve never had another woman excite me like you do.”
Increasing the pace of my fingers, I can feel her legs start to shake. She’s getting closer. Now to push her over the cliff.
“I can’t wait to shove my cock inside you. To fill up that perfect little pussy of yours until my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. Are you ready for me?”
“Yes,” she pants, teetering on the edge of her climax.
“First you have to come for me,” I tease, then kiss her passionately. Putting my thumb on her delicate clit, I begin to rub it while I work my fingers deeper inside her. “Come for me, Sabrina. Now.”
I see the tidal wave of pleasure overwhelm her. She bites her bottom lip to hold in a cry, and I can feel her interior muscles squeezing the shit out of my fingers. I slow my movements until the orgasm subsides, then I strip as quickly as I can manage. I move into position, my throbbing cock at her entrance.
I’m aching with a hunger to possess her, and my dick has never been harder. Now is the time to claim my woman, now that she’s back safe in my arms. I’ve got to be inside her, got to feel her around me.
I pause, my cock at the entrance to her womanhood. “Do you want me inside you?”
She stares at me, her eyes full of emotion. Finally, she nods.
“Say it.”
She looks away, but I pull her face back to mine. My lips inches from hers, I make the same demand. “Say it.”
“I want you inside me, Ax,” she whispers, her mouth against mine, then her tongue peeks out and licks my mouth.
I growl, claiming her lips as I start to slowly slide into her pussy. God, it feels so good to be back. She’s tighter than ever, taking my hungry inches as I plunge deep.
“Oh God, Ax,” she moans, then fastens her legs around my waist to pull me deeper. I take it as an invitation and start to move more quickly.
Being inside her again is like coming home. All the emotions I’ve felt before, all the anxiety, the fear, the anger, it’s like they’re all swirling around inside me, being channeled into the lust I feel for Sabrina now. The only way to process these emotions is by making love to her delectable body.
“Fuck me, Ax,” she says, and I bite at her lips, my forehead pressed into hers. I love when she says things like that—when she shows how much she needs me, how much pleasure I bring her.
“Only me,” I grunt as I thrust into her. “You belong only to me. Only I can fuck you like this.”
Harder I push, faster, until she’s letting out a high keening sound of need. I have to cover her mouth to prevent the rest of the house from hearing, but it doesn’t stop me. I plunge deeper, and deeper, becoming an animal of need.
I want to bury myself in her and come harder than I ever have before, but I refuse to do so until I bring her to the heights again. I need to feel her come around my cock to feel complete. It sounds stupid, but it’s true. The physical relationship between us, the need between us, will guide the way.
I’ll make her admit how good we are together, how perfect it is.
Sabrina will realize how much she needs me, and she’ll surrender.
She won’t leave.
She will be mine.
48
Sabrina
I’m so close, one more stroke will send me over. But just when I’m about to let go and lose myself in my release, he pauses.
I let out a mewl of frustration. Why would he stop now?
“Sabrina, look at me.”
I groan and force my eyes open to look at him. When I do, he pushes fully into me, so slowly I want to scream.
“The way we come together is perfect. It’s never been like this with anyone else.”
His words are trying to break down the wall between us. I can’t let them. But he makes me weak when he looks at me like this—when he overwhelms me with pleasure.
“Say it. Tell me I’m right.” Another slow thrust to punctuate his words.
“Ax, please,” I say, wishing he would stop playing games, stop asking me impossible questions.
“Tell me you’ve never had better. Tell me you belong to me.”
“Ax,” I say, starting to shake my head, but he kisses me until I’m mindless again. When he starts to rub my clit while slowly thrusting inside me, I can feel my orgasm building, stronger than before.
“Sabrina, what’s between us is powerful, and you know it. Tell me what I need to hear.”
I know I’ll regret the words, but I can’t hold them back. I need to climax, need to feel the pleasure wash over me. I can consider the consequences afterward.
Gripping his shoulders tightly, I stare up into his golden eyes. “Ax, I’ve never had better.”
He groans and thrusts in harder, his pace increasing. “Tell me you belong to me.”
I shake my head, but he continues to thrust, and it’s becoming impossible to resist him. That thumb twirls around my clit until I know I’m lost.
“Tell me, goddammit!”
“I belong to you!”
With a feral growl, he slams into me, rubbing my clit furiously, and I fly over the edge, letting go as my climax overwhelms me.
“Yes,” he grunts, thrusting in over and over. “God, you feel so good. I can’t hold back.” With an intense moan, he reaches his pinnacle. I can feel the hot rush flood inside me, and it makes me experience an orgasmic aftershock.
After catching his breath, Ax pulls away from me. He dresses, then helps me off the counter. I dress quickly too, not wanting to get caught by my little one.
“Sabrina,” he murmurs, his voice soft. I can feel the warmth of his breath against my cheek. His lips come closer to mine, but I turn my face at the last moment so they land on my jaw instead.
“I need to wake Lex up,” I say, looking for any excuse to flee the scene. I’m already reeling over what just happened, and I need time to process.
“It’s still early,” he says. “Let her sleep. Maybe you and I can talk about things.”
“What is there to talk about? Talking assumes I have some kind of say in the matter. We both know that I don’t.”
He straightens and shakes his head. “I know things seem that way, but you have to understand—”
“Oh, I understand. Perfectly. Cravens always get their way, right?”
“Sabrina, it’s not about that. It’s—”
Rather than stick
around to rehash the same argument, I push past him and head out of the kitchen at a faster-than-normal clip. Still, I hear him right behind me when I hit the stairs.
“I know you’re upset, but soon we’ll consider this a small bump on the road to our family’s future.”
There are so many things wrong with Ax’s sentence that I don’t even know where to begin. Not responding seems easier.
At the top of the stairs, he puts his hand on my shoulder, but I pull away, almost running down the carpeted hallway to our rooms.
“Sabrina, stop,” he says, following close behind. “Slow down, goddammit.”
I reach the door and grab the knob, but Ax spins me around before I can turn it. “You can’t run away from this. I won’t let you.”
“You won’t let me do anything,” I hiss. “You never have! I’m either making mistakes with you or spending years trying to banish your ghost. I’m tired of letting other people control me.”
“This isn’t about control, Sabrina,” he says, brushing a lock of hair away from my face. “This is about us.”
“It’s never been about us.” I can feel the tears coming, but I push through it. This needs to be said. “All we have is chemistry and a fucked up history. It’s been about you and your choices. And me scrambling to react to them. And now, look at us. Same old, same old.”
He opens his mouth to respond, but I don’t let him. “Enough, Ax. I’m tired of retreading the same ground. Let me go.”
“No,” he growls, bending in until he’s inches from my face. “I’ll never let you go.”
I feel the tears start to slip down my face. Turning the knob behind my back, I slide around the door, my eyes never leaving his until I’m on the other side.
I shut the door to our suite behind me and lean against it, trying to catch my breath. Tears are brushed away like tiny offending gnats in the early summer twilight. I have to hold tight to my anger. I have to let it hold me up or I’ll fall. And I don’t know if I have the strength to get back up again.
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