The Lost and the Damned

by Dennis Liggio

  For a few moments, there was only silence, marred only by the faint buzzing of the floodlights. Then a response came from the tree line. The voice was slightly distorted by the bullhorn: “Stop! Please return to the hospital.”

  “Help!” screamed the nurse, “He’s injured! We need help!”

  “Please return to the hospital. Do not approach the barrier. If you continue to approach, we will have to take appropriate measures.”

  “Please!” she pleaded. “Help us!”

  “Stop! Turn back. This is your only warning. We will open fire if you continue.”

  Open fire? Were they serious? What was going on?

  “Please!” screamed the nurse, her voice rasping, tears streaming from her cheeks, stumbling forward. “Just help us! Please!”

  She had stumbled forward just a few more steps before an order was shouted at the tree line and they opened fire.

  Before this, I had never seen anyone die, not in real life. I’d seen news clips of deaths and documentary films, but that wasn’t the same. In person I’d seen people beat up, stabbed, and once shot in the shoulder. At least while I was there, nobody died. They might have died afterwards, from blood loss or shock, but not while I was there. Seeing someone die before you is a more immediate experience, more disturbing. It’s a very clear shift from someone full of life, animated, emoting, walking to suddenly a lifeless corpse, limbs slack, expression rubbery. I didn’t even know the nurse or her patient but my heartfelt a sharp pain just watching it.

  It was overkill. Disgusting, dehumanizing overkill. The nurse was limping and her patient could not stand on his own. Yet the amount of bullets that were fired into each of them… It must have gone on for thirty seconds, but for me it seemed an hour. I saw each bullet strike their bodies, most exiting on the other side. The bullets came so quickly, one after another, that their bodies were tossed around by the successive forces of each bullet like rag dolls. The noise was so deafening I could not hear if they screamed out, if they pleaded to God, or if their end was instead spent stoically staring into countless muzzle flashes in the darkness. When the final shout of “Cease fire!” was called, there were two limp and contorted bodies lying on the ground in a steadily growing pool of blood.

  And then there was silence.

  I turned around and slid back down the window, my back resting against it. Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap. My mind shouted this over and over. I had heard the noise of the guns. Those were fucking assault rifles! Cops don’t have fucking assault rifles. Who the fuck is out there? SWAT? Army? ATF? CIA? NSA? TLA? Holy fuck, what the hell was going on?

  With my hands shaking, I fumbled for my emergency bag. I grabbed for my pack of cigarettes. I stopped smoking two years ago. I just kept the pack of cigarettes in the bag because… well, I don’t know why I kept them. Some sort of fetishistic ward against not smoking. Some trophy of quitting. Who knows? My shaking hands fumbled with the pack. Only six cigarettes left, all in horrible shape. I took a bent cigarette and put in my mouth, relieved just by its place between my lips. I grabbed the matches I kept in the cigarette box. I lit the cigarette with shaking hands and greedily inhaled. The cigarette was stale, but reassuring anyway. I sat in the darkness, staring at the shadows in the room caused by the floodlights.

  I was finally beginning to relax, as much as someone could after seeing such a death, when I heard the bullhorn again, causing me to immediately tense.

  “Attention occupants of the Bellingham Psychiatric Institute. Sommersfield is now under a state of emergency. Do not attempt to leave the hospital. Do not attempt to communicate with anyone outside of the hospital. All hostility will be met with lethal force. You will receive updates as this status changes. That is all.”

  The bullhorn clicked off and we were left in silence. In my position slumped beneath the window, I had a thousand questions, but they all boiled down to this: what the fuck was going on? If it was a state of emergency, that means they were the Army. Why was the Army up here? How long was I out? What the hell happened that they needed to declare a state of emergency? Why the hell did they gun down that nurse and her patient? She just needed help.

  I ignored my aching body and searched the room. The floodlights illuminated the ceiling, leaving the floor for a flashlight search. I knew I saw a radio when I covered the room with the flashlight earlier.

  I found the radio half concealed by papers on the floor. It was an old radio, brown faux-wood panel outside, the glass on the dial so dirty that I couldn’t even see the numbers. I found a long black cord and my hope sank, as I bet there wasn’t any electricity left in the whole place. Luckily, flipping it over revealed it also had a battery compartment which was filled. I turned it on via the volume knob. I was greeted with static. Shifting the dial on FM produced more static, so I extended the antenna, pointing it out the window while I crouched below it, out of the view of the floodlights.

  Even with the antenna extended, I wasn’t getting a signal. My first thought was the radio was broken. It could have been damaged in the shockwave. Or maybe its antenna was disconnected. Maybe it was already broken and it had been left aside for that reason. Just because it turned on didn’t mean it was a fully working radio. But there was another possibility. Normally I’d just think it was broken and leave it at that. However, at this point of the game, my mind had no problems coming up with irrational thoughts. What if nobody was out there?

  I switched to AM. I didn’t think I’d get as important news from AM, as most local radio would be on FM. AM signals bounce all over the place, so I should conceivably be able to get a radio station from thousands of miles away. But it would at least let me know the radio worked. Dialing through AM radio, I also heard a bunch of static, which wasn’t very encouraging. Finally I caught a signal. They were speaking in French, so maybe Canada? France? I couldn’t tell. Soon the voices gave way to music, jazz to be exact. After about twenty seconds, I realized it was Benny Goodman’s “In a Sentimental Mood.”

  I switched back to FM. The radio worked, I should be able to get something. I moved it back and forth on the dial. Different types of static, but still static. I should be getting something. While not the biggest towns, there were enough towns in this area of Vermont. Surely one of those would have a radio station. If not them, what about the major cities? I should at least get faint signals from them. At the moment, I was hoping for some sign of civilization outside. I never wanted to hear some cheesy loud-mouthed DJ more than that moment.

  I continued to try the entire range of the dial, hope rapidly dropping. I just wanted to get some information, even if it was an Army radio station confirming the state of emergency. I just wanted the sound of another human voice, saying “The Chair is on the Wall,” or something. I heard a different noise but accidentally went past it on the dial. I turned the dial slowly backwards and missed it again. I turned it forward again, narrowly missing it a third time. With the reflexes of a safecracker, I caught it the fourth time, revealing a voice barely louder than the static behind it.

  “-hope someone can hear me. I repeat, I hope someone can hear me. I am broadcasting from an undisclosed location. This is the only broadcasting radio station in the central Vermont area. I am an unlicensed, unauthorized radio operator. I don’t have much power, so my signal is weak. I hope someone can hear me. Please God, I hope someone can hear me.

  “The whole area is under martial law. The Army has rolled in and taken over everything. They have yanked all radio and television broadcasts. There’s no internet access either. They call it a ‘state of emergency’, but it’s martial law. In short, this whole area has been isolated and taken over. Most people don’t know why. They told us to stay in our houses ‘for our own good.’ They say that, but their faces mean business.”

  I nodded to that line in the dark. Thinking of the two bodies outside, I could definitely agree they meant business.

  The radio voice continued: “I hope someone is listening. Really, I do. People need to hear this
. People need to know. But even if no one is hearing this, I need to say this. I know why they have declared the state of emergency. I know why the Army was called in. I know why Sommersfield was destroyed.”

  There was a long pause and I almost thought I had lost the signal.

  “I… I was there… in Sommersfield. I was there when it happened. When it began, at least. I was eating dinner at Lorraine’s… Oh God, Lorraine’s. It burned down. I hope she’s okay. I saw it burning, but I didn’t see who made it out. Please let her be safe. There’s not a sweeter soul than Lorraine…”

  I turned and lifted my head, looking out the window. I tried to see Sommersfield, to look for smoke, something. But all I could see were the floodlights.

  “It started innocently enough,” continued the radio voice. “We were sitting in Lorraine’s, enjoying a good dinner with friends. It was so… normal before it. We were just sitting there and Lorraine had come to talk to us. Then… then the world exploded in flames. First there was a sound like an explosion from up on the hill. Then a car outside exploded in a ball of flame. For no reason! I know because I ran to the window and watched another car suddenly explode. There was no gunshot, no grenade. The car was just engulfed in a ball of flame and exploded. That’s when I saw them.

  “Amidst all that chaos were four people and their… dog? - were walking. Just walking! Things exploded around them, but they just walked like they were out for a Sunday stroll. The little girl skipped along – I think they were enjoying it. People fled the restaurant around me, but I was transfixed at the window. I wanted to see them closer, I wanted to see them in the light. As they got closer, I could see they were dressed like patients, probably from that god awful place up on the hill. There was one, I don’t know if he was the leader, or… He had a lighter though. One of those Zippo lighters. He held it in his hand, but with his other hand he snapped his fingers. I thought it was nothing, just dancing, like the others. But then I noticed the link. Whenever he snapped his hands, something exploded in flames. I am sure of it, he was somehow causing the fire!

  “When I realized that, my body acted of its own accord. I ran, I ran out of that restaurant. I didn’t go out the front, like everyone else. I ran for the back, through the kitchen, and out the back door. I had been through there once with Lorraine, so my body somehow remembered the way. I flew out the door, jumping down the steps and I ran for the trees behind the restaurant. I came to my senses panting in the woods, hearing explosions back beyond the restaurant. I couldn’t believe I ran… my friends were back there. But my body brought me outside.

  “I made my way back toward town, keeping to tree cover. I was behind the buildings on one side of Main Street. Some were already on fire. Those that weren’t on fire exploded into flames as I watched. I heard laughter and I heard screams. I tried to look between buildings as I passed, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening on Main Street. At first I saw only flames and people running. But what I then saw was… was… was monstrous.” There was another pause. “Of those four strange people, there was a big guy. Muscled. He was… He was grabbing people who ran by. And with one arm – just one arm! He was throwing people. Into buildings, into the fire, wherever his fancy took him. And after he did it, he laughed. It made him happy! That monster enjoyed it!”

  The speaker paused and I heard him drink something.

  “I ran from there. I ran as fast as I could, into the trees and away from the fire. I don’t remember how long I ran, dodging between trees, but I eventually found myself far from the flames, panting in the darkness. I tried to get my bearings and assumed myself in the hills that surrounded Sommersfield. I started heading south, looking for the road. I figured if I could find the road, maybe I could flag down some help or at least follow it from the rough beside it. I eventually found the road, but I was on a steep hill overlooking it. I looked down and saw a mass of flashing red and blue. A collection of half a dozen police cars formed a roadblock below me. There were shouting voices and most had their guns drawn. Something must have come across on the radio, as they all assumed defensive positions on their cars, guns pointed up the road.

  “I waited and watched, knowing something was about to happen. Within a few moments, a cop shouted on a bullhorn, demanding someone to stop. There was no response, but a moment later, the bullhorn once again asked someone to stop or they’d shoot. Then there was silence again. I expected them to open fire, but that didn’t happen. No, the hell that came to Sommersfield had reached here.

  “One of the cop cars exploded in flames. Most cops dove for cover, but two were already aflame and were desperately trying to put themselves out. It was all futile. The cars were so close in their roadblock… too close. The explosion from the first car caused a second one to explode, then another, and another. It was a chain reaction… They all exploded. I saw a police car flip into the air from the force of the explosion. The cops scattered, dead or running I don’t know. I hope they survived. I just know I didn’t see them after that. No, instead I saw those same four people from Sommersfield and their dog. They were walking down the road as if on an afternoon walk, the young girl skipping. They walked through the wreckage and flames, the road now unobstructed.

  “Once again I ran. I guess I’m really a coward. All I know is after what I saw them do, I ran. I had to. They had just blown up a bunch of cop cars! That’s what brought the Army in. Dead cops, a busted roadblock, a leveled town, and no sign of them slowing down. The cops ran, so did I. I ran until I came home, where I flipped on the TV. There were sitcoms and everything normal on… for a little while. Then there was the emergency broadcast system. The voice declared a state of emergency and that everyone should stay in their homes, updates would be forthcoming. Then… static. Every channel. I’m staring at the TV across the room right now and all I can see is snow. The FM radio is dead and what little AM radio I could get was a long ways away and had nothing about what happened. I was left with… nothing. After all that, we were all shut down. Army passed outside, but they passed through. They didn’t answer questions and they didn’t stay around There are people here whose homes could be in the way of those… monsters, but they know nothing about it! Their houses could be next to light and they weren’t being told. That’s why I had to get on the radio, to run this pirate broadcast and –“

  Over the radio, I heard a banging in the background. Though muffled, I heard a voice shout, “Open up!”

  “Oh god, they found me!” said the radio voice, now quickening. “I knew there was a risk, but I didn’t think that they’d – oh god. Please, everyone: what I’ve said is the truth. Don’t believe their lies! Something is very wrong and I don’t know if the Army can fix it!” The banging and shouting in the background was getting louder. “No, I won’t open up!” said the radio voice, away from the microphone. “They’re coming. Please, tell everyone you know! Tell them! Tell them about Sommersfield! Watch out for your own homes, don’t let them cover this up! Don’t –“

  New voices were now on the radio: “Freeze! Get down on the ground! Down on the ground now!”

  The radio announcer voice was frantic now, “Tell everyone! Make sure they know the truth! Make sure –“

  And then there was static. I listened for a few minutes more with the radio cradled in my lap, but there was only static.

  I’ve thought long and hard since then about what really happened and how it all went down. I’ve thought about what I would have done differently, what things I would have done sooner. One of my biggest regrets was how long I sat in that office, paralyzed in fear and not knowing what to do. If I had left it earlier, as soon as I woke up, maybe this all could have been avoided. Maybe I could have found her immediately and not gotten caught in that maelstrom, that nightmare. But instead, I stayed in that room, scared to leave for fear of what was in the hospital and what was outside of it. Ultimately, my decision to leave the room was triggered by something as mundane as a lamp.

  I was sitting on the floor in that da
rkened room, wondering what I had gotten into when I noticed a glow from the other side of the desk. Still feeling sore, I crawled around the desk and found a lamp that had toppled to the floor, its shade askew. I could swear it wasn’t on before, but its bulb was clearly illuminated. I followed its cord across the floor to a plug in the wall. It was getting power now, so… maybe the power was back? Maybe the Army turned it back on? Unlikely. I guessed that someone in the hospital activated a backup generator.

  Perplexed, I stood up and went to the light switch near the door. I turned it on. Light. Then I turned it off. Dark. I flipped it back and forth a few times, absent mindedly, almost as if it were a light in my own home.

  It was at that moment that I realized my idiocy.

  As fast as I could, I dove to the ground, hitting it hard. My heart raced. I looked back up to the light switch and saw three red pinpoints of light searching around right around the spot where my head was. Snipers. Idiot! Turning on the light was a signal enough, but the off and on light was pretty much a “Come shoot me!”

  You might think from all my leaping around, diving to the floor, etc, that I have some sort of cat-like reflexes, left over from when I was trained in special forces. None of that is true. I’m just jumpy. If you saw me actually move, you’d realize there was nothing cat-like about it.

  I waited a minute, hoping that the red dots would disappear. One of them disappeared, but the other two remained, lazily searching the wall. They knew I was in here. Correction, they knew someone was in here. And it didn’t seem like they’d be willing to let me go. I lay there, staring at the red light, knowing that this place was not safe. If they wanted to be really sure, they could just shoot a rocket through the window, and suddenly, no survivors in this room. This was doubtful, since the explosion would do structural damage to the building. But at this point I had no idea whether they needed the building standing or not, so it was plausible. I wasn’t happy with the decision to go off into the great unknown, but I knew I couldn’t stay here. I grabbed my flashlight from my pocket and crawled out the door into the hallway.