Monster Empire

by Michael-Scott Earle

  Once I had chopped off the creature’s nuts and stashed them in my molle pack, I opened the vault door and let the others in.

  “Dadda!” Sawsaw exclaimed when he saw the dead minotaur.

  “He’s dead, buddy,” I told him. “Both of you grab as much as you can carry. Let’s be quick.”

  I put down my molle pack and filled it with diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires. A heavily adorned goblet went in next, along with necklaces, bracelets and glittering rings. Sawsaw filled his little molle pack and shouldered it with a grunt, and Calli piled necklaces on her neck, added exotic bracelets to her wrists, and put a ring on every one of her long fingers. Then she hefted a small treasure chest and carried it over to the door. I looked at all the loot and knew that we wouldn’t be able to get it up the cliffside without some sort of pulley system.

  Then I got a great idea.

  “Come on,” I told the others as I gestured to the door. The treasure was heavy as hell, but I was used to rucking packs. Sawsaw was a strong little dude and seemed to have no trouble with his load. Calli, on the other hand, looked like she had bitten off more than she could chew, and her long bare legs seemed to tremble with each step she took.

  “You need help?” I offered.

  “No, thank you,” she said with a determined smile.

  We waited and listened for a moment before we continued. The party upstairs sounded like it was in full swing. Heavy drums shook the stone structure, shrill wind instruments blared, and a chorus of goblin voices sang a triumphant song.

  “Let’s go,” I told the others, and together we snuck up the stairs, down the hall, and into the king’s chamber. We hurried back into the secret passage, and then I replaced the grate before following Calli through the tunnel to the back.

  Sawsaw gave the all clear, and we emerged from the stalagmite.

  “Alright, listen,” I said as I glanced back up the cliffside. “There is a shitload of treasure down there, and we have to get as much as we possibly can. I’m going to go back up to the rail and set up a pulley so we can haul the loot up, and then I think we can use one of those carts to haul it out. You two go back in there and bring more treasure out and stack it up right here.”

  “Sawsaw,” my son said with a crisp salute.

  “This is so much fun,” Calli declared as she did a little dance and took off all of her jewelry.

  “Be careful, you two. The first sign of trouble, you get your asses back here. Nobody try to be a hero.”

  “Dadda,” Sawsaw said as he became invisible.

  “Alright then, get going,” I said.

  I was a little concerned that they might get caught, but Nika’s favorite quote came to mind, and I tried not to worry. Instead, I shimmied back up the rope to the ledge and ran over to the discarded equipment by the rail.

  There were four carts in varying degrees of disrepair, bent metal wheels, rusted buckets, picks with broken hafts, bent shovels, and lanterns which looked like they hadn’t seen a drop of oil in at least a hundred years. I found one cart that only needed front wheels, so I flipped it over and went to work on it. There was a pair of discarded wheels nearby that looked straight enough, and I matched them to a metal axle that didn’t crumble into dust when I bent it in my hands. Then I slid the axle through the cart’s two mooring rings and attached the wheels.

  Once the cart was repaired, I put it on the rail and tested its maneuverability. It rolled easily, so I placed a heavy stone in front of one of the wheels so that the cart wouldn’t roll away, and focused on my next task.

  I rummaged through the pile again and pulled out another pair of wheels. A natural shelf hung over the one I stood on, and a number of mooring rings had been pounded into the stone. They were most likely used to create pulley systems to lower the loads of gold brought to the city by the rail, and I could use them to do the same.

  But first, I needed to rig the system.

  I looped my rope through the two tackles I pulled from my pack so that I would have a mechanical advantage and then passed the ropes over the wheels so that I could bend the line with more leverage. I knew the set-up would work, but my biggest obstacle was going to be getting the sheaf hooked to one of the mooring rings above. The shelf was twenty feet over my head, and there weren’t any ladders about, so I would have to fashion something long enough to reach the mooring ring. I glanced at all the broken carts and knew I could build a ladder in about fifteen minutes, but then I realized that sometimes it was better to solve problems the manual way.

  I ran to the ledge and looked back down to the foot of the cliff. Calli and Sawsaw were just coming out again with armloads of loot, and I tossed a small stone down to get my son’s attention. They both looked up, and I gestured for Sawsaw to join me after they both dumped their loot on the ground

  “Hey, buddy, I need you to do something for me,” I said when he scurried up to the top.

  “Sawsaw,” he said as he bounced on his toes.

  “I need you to take this and hook it to one of those rings up there,” I said as I pointed at the ceiling. “Do you think you can climb that wall?”

  “Sawsaw!” he said triumphantly as he took the heavy block and tackle from me.

  The climb was easy for him, and once he had reached the top, he sprang from the wall, grabbed one of the rings and swung to another like a gymnast.

  “Hook it to that last ring closest to the cliff,” I instructed, and he successfully hooked the second anchor ring. “Now pass the rope around that one wheel. Yes! Just like that. Okay. That’s good. Now come down.”

  “Dadda!” he said proudly, and then he slid down the rope I held and dropped down into a three-point landing like a superhero right next to me.

  “I’m going to lower a cart down,” I whispered to him as I leaned over to see Calli looking up at us. “Both of you focus on precious stones and jewelry. It is lighter than the gold and also more valuable. I should be ready to go in two more loads.”

  Sawsaw gave me a salute, and he disappeared back down the side of the cliff to join Calli. I watched them move back into the drain system, and then I turned back around to work more on my pulley.

  I returned to the discarded carts and pulled one out that didn’t have wheels. I then found what must have been a dwarven wrench among the discarded tools, and used it to disassemble the breaking mechanism of the cart. Once I had stripped the cart, I secured another rope through two bolt holes and around the lip on each end of the cart to stabilize it when I hauled it up the cliffside.

  I carried it over to the cliff and slowly lowered it down. Calli and Sawsaw had a pretty big pile of treasure stacked at the bottom of the cliff, and when they brought out another load, I gestured for them to wait.

  Then I shimmied down the rope, and we began filling the cart.

  The sounds of merriment still spilled out of the palace, and no one had yet ventured around to the back where we were.

  “Alright,” I told Sawsaw and Calli. “I’m going to haul this load up and then send the cart back down. You guys fill it up as fast as you can, ok?”

  “Sawsaw,” my son said with an eager nod.

  “You two are the most fun people I’ve ever met in my whole life,” Calli said with a wide grin. “This is so exciting!”

  “It will be more exciting if we make it out of here alive,” I chuckled, and then I climbed back up the cliff and began to haul the cart full of loot up to the top.

  The load was heavy as hell, but the ring that anchored it to the ceiling held firm. Once it was above the ledge, I gave it a kick so that it would swing out over the edge. When it swung back, I lowered it onto the shelf and began to transport it to the cart waiting on the rail. After three such trips our getaway cart was nearly full, so I went down to help the others load the last of the treasure.

  And that is when a shrill voice cried out, “Thieves!”

  I spun around and saw a goblin charging at Sawsaw with a mean-looking spear. My son leapt right over the attacking gobl
in, twisted at the apex of his jump, came down behind the goblin, and buried his hatchet in the creature’s back before I could draw my weapon.

  But the goblin still screamed as he died, and the three of us all let out a collective gasp.

  Then we stood as still as statues and listened.

  Five seconds passed, and right when I thought we were safe, a horn blared in the distance.

  Then I heard a distant roar that sounded like either thunder, or a thousand angry goblins.

  “Fuck!” I said as I rushed over to the cart. “Get in!”

  Sawsaw and Calli leapt into the cart with me and knelt among the treasure. Seconds later, the sounds of angry goblins began to issue from both sides of the stalagmite, and I pulled on the rope with all my might.

  The cart slowly began to rise, but each of my full length arm tugs only brought us up a few inches.

  “Dadda!” Sawsaw shouted, and I turned to my side to see the horde of goblins pouring through the narrow passage between the boulders.

  “Shit!” I hissed, and then I started yanking on the pulley as if my life depended on it.

  Actually, all three of our lives depended on it.

  Arrows and spears flew past us and twanged against the stone of the cliff face. None of them hit us, but one arrow pierced a sack we had set near the rim, and it spilled gold coins like lifeblood through the hole created by an arrowhead.

  “Dadda!” my son urged.

  “I’m trying!” I told him as I pulled the rope hand over fist and leaned backward for maximum leverage.

  The goblins began climbing the cliff face, and when I glanced down I saw at least ten of them coming after us. One of them grabbed the side of the cart and began to pull himself up, but Calli cracked him in the head with a big gilded chalice. When he refused to let go, Sawsaw gave a war cry and chopped off his fingers with a swing of his hand axe.

  The goblin fell screaming into two of his brethren, and the trio of them tumbled down the face of the cliff. More of the beasts reached the cart and tried to climb inside, and I growled against the extra weight. We were now a quarter of the way to the top, but the little bastards were on us like rats on cheese.

  Each pull of the rope made my fingers, biceps, and back burn.

  “Holy shit!” Sawsaw yelled as he kicked one of the goblins in the face and knocked him off the cart. “Fuck off!”

  Calli suddenly began to sing, and the ache faded from my muscles. Strength washed through my body, and I redoubled my efforts as the siren song echoed through the city.

  But then I glanced down behind me and saw a tidal wave of angry green bodies surging up the cliff wall.

  “Throw the treasure away if you need to!” I shouted as I yanked on the rope as fast as I could.

  Sawsaw tossed down heavy bars of gold and gilded statuettes at the goblins. The projectiles cracked skulls, smashed teeth, and sent mewling goblins careening to the hard stone floor. Each hit caused my son to cackle with glee, and soon he was laughing hysterically as he kicked fuckers in the face, chopped them with his axe, or hurled heavy pieces of treasure at them.

  As he tossed the treasure, our load got lighter, and we put more distance between us and the climbing horde of goblins. When we cleared the ridge, I swung us over the edge and let go of the rope.

  Then we hit the ground at an angle and spilled out of the cart with the treasure.

  The three of us were on our feet immediately, and Calli rushed over to her trident as Sawsaw and I turned to battle the goblins that poured over the side of the cliff.

  Then we stood side by side as we fought off the angry little devils.

  Calli impaled three of the beasts with one strike of her trident and used them to sweep others off the cliff to her left. To her right, Sawsaw gleefully chopped off any fingers that tried to grip the ledge, and I stood beside him and cracked the skulls of the more stubborn with my battle axe. Calli continued to sing as she fought, and a good two minutes of battle passed without the usual exhaustion penetrating my muscles.

  Then the last goblin poked his head up over the cliff, and Sawsaw kicked him in the face. The angry little monster let out a screech of disappointment, and then the three of us eased up to the ledge and looked down the cliff. There must have been forty bodies broken at the bottom, but it looked like a new wave of goblins were pouring through the small gap between the boulders.

  And one of them had a sparkling crown on his head.

  It must have been Nika’s father.

  “Time to go,” I said. “Quickly, gather up the treasure we dumped out and then throw it in the cart on the rails.”

  “Sawsaw!” my son said, and then the three of us scooped up gold, gems, plates, and the other loose treasure and tossed it into the cart.

  The cleanup process only took us a few minutes, and then I told them to jump in the cart while I checked the cliff. The new wave of goblins was a quarter of the way up the cliff wall, so I figured we had about a five-minute head start on them.

  Then I ran to the cart, kicked the stones breaking the wheels free, and shoulder checked the back end. The thing must have weighed six-hundred pounds, but Calli started to sing again, and my muscles filled with enough strength to get it rolling.

  I just hoped we had enough of a lead, and that I had enough strength to get us to the exit in time.

  Chapter 15

  I could hear goblins screaming while they were scaling up the cliff wall behind us, but the only thing I could control was how hard I pushed the damn cart, so I focused on that and hoped for the best. Even with Calli’s song bolstering me, a few minutes of pushing the cart across the rails was causing my arms, legs, and back to scream with agony, and buckets of sweat were pouring from my head.

  When the cart began to go faster than I pushed it, I leapt up onto the back, and the others helped pull me up on top of the treasure mound. I gasped with relief and glanced back to see about thirty goblins running some fifty feet behind us. The rail began to veer downward, however, and we all gave a collective cry as we surged down a steep descent.

  Then the voices of the goblins faded and were replaced by the howling wind and thunderous rattle of the wheels on the track.

  “Hold on tight!” I urged Calli and Sawsaw as I gripped the sides of the cart.

  Sawsaw laughed like a maniac, and a delighted Calli whooped and cheered as she clung onto my arm. I seemed to be the only one who was about to shit himself as we leveled out and rocketed through the dark tunnels. We shot out of the tunnel and into the giant cavern like a bullet, and I prayed that we would stay on the track as I pointed my flashlight ahead of us.

  “Lean right!” I yelled to the others as the track turned slightly right.

  “Lean left!” I told them when the track turned to the left.

  The rail rose over a giant stone formation and then dropped beneath a natural shelf. We zipped in between hanging stalactites, over tall stalagmites, and between massive rock formations. The cart rattled and shrieked as we continued to pick up speed, and I realized that we were coming up to the rickety bridge that had groaned a bit when we walked across it earlier.

  “Think light thoughts!” I shouted as the cart shot out of the cavern mouth and slid across the bridge. The drop below us went on forever, and the bridge let out a horrific rumble as we rolled across it. My heart almost leaped out of my mouth as the groan seemed to get as loud as Sawsaw’s laughter was, but then we hit the firm ground on the other side, and I felt my head spin when I exhaled.

  Up ahead, the rail made a sharp right and disappeared into the mouth of a colossal statue that I hadn’t noticed on our way here. I remembered the braking mechanism, grabbed the handle, and yanked up as hard as I could.

  “Lean right!” I screamed over the shrieking metal. Sparks erupted from the wheels and singed my hair, but the cart slowed down quickly, and I released the brake as we leaned into the turn.

  The statue of a proud dwarf king swallowed us whole, and after a few seconds of darkness we emerged into t
he glowing cavern full of crystals that reminded me of Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.

  We went up a steep incline, and I feared that I had slowed us down too much. The cart barely made it to the top, and we stopped for one heartbeat at the apex.

  “Come on, come on, come on,” I chanted as I leaned forward, and then the cart inched a few inches forward and started down once more, zipped through a cavern full of giant mushrooms, and shot down a long tunnel.

  “This is our stop!” I told them when I recognized the tunnel near where we had saved Calli.

  We were moving at a good clip, so I yanked back on the breaking lever. But it seemed that the old rusty thing had had enough and it broke off. We all stared at the lever in my hand, and then looked forward at the pile of stones blocking the rail.

  “Oh shit…” Sawsaw groaned.

  Two seconds later the front wheels of the cart hit the stones and ejected us like a catapult. I let out a long “fuuuuuck!” as I tumbled through the air. Gold coins, bars, fine necklaces, rubies, diamonds, and pearls flew by, along with Sawsaw and Calli, and we landed twenty feet away.

  By the grace of some god, we landed on a patch of thick moss, and when we tumbled to a stop, I leaped to my feet and gave a triumphant cheer.

  “Holy shit!” Sawsaw said as he lay there panting and covered in loot.

  “That. Was. Amazing!” sang Calli. Then she rushed over, gave me a big hug, and planted a kiss on my lips before I could react.

  Her lips were sweet and salty, and my manhood stood at attention as she pressed her trembling body against mine. Then the mermaid-woman released me, rushed over to Sawsaw, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The half-goblin boy giggled afterward, and then he hugged my leg and buried his face in my thigh.

  “Alright,” I told them both as I hugged Sawsaw. “Let's get this loot gathered up and get the hell out of here.”

  “But how will we carry it all now?” Calli asked.